


Falling for U

by MoonlightxStars



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Almost Kiss, Angst, Aquaphobia, Basically just blupjeans growing up together and falling in love, Breaks, Broken Bones, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Dancer!Lup, F/M, Fluff, Hi I just have a lot of feelings about Blupjeans, I'm so sorry, M/M, Modern AU, Morbid thoughts, More Ships to come, Slow Burn, Talk about death, Temporary Character Death, Transphobia in the first two chapters, also more characters as well, bed sharing, throwing up, yes to them Magics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2020-10-27 12:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 129,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20760509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlightxStars/pseuds/MoonlightxStars
Summary: The first time Barry had met the twins was in kindergarten. They were hard to miss, even in their drab brown clothes and basic short haircut. They were loud and proud, not caring what the teacher said to them in the efforts to quiet them down.--Just Barry and Lup growing up together and falling in love.





	1. Kindergarten

The first time Barry had met the twins was in kindergarten. They were hard to miss, even in their drab brown clothes and basic short haircut. They were loud and proud, not caring what the teacher said to them in the efforts to quiet them down. 

They were in every way identical, right down to how their shoes were tied. However, the difference between them, the one difference, was the sparkly red bow in one of the twin’s hair. This twin had their hands on their hips, looking straight up at the teacher, a look of pure defiance etched out on their features. Their nose was crinkled and their mouth was turned down in a pout. Their mirror image was in the same position, looking at the teacher with distaste. 

“She’s not a boy, she’s a girl!” Yelled the bowless twin, their tone full of venom. The teacher sighed at the two of them, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

“Your parents told me-”

“Our parents are stupid.” The twin with the bow said levelly. They were calm, Sildar realized, even talking to an adult like that, they were calm. He immediately thought that they were the coolest person in the world.

“Now that’s not very nice-”

“It’s not very nice that my parents insist on calling me a boy when I’m not.” They challenged, not backing down for an instant. They quickly quipped an eyebrow at the teacher. The teacher, for her part, deflated slightly. Sildar couldn’t see her face, but he assumed it was a face that most adults made when they were spent.

“Okay, how about this, I’ll let you do everything the girls do and call you accordingly. However, when your parents are here, I call you by your given name. How does that sound?” The teacher asked. The twins looked at one another and started having a silent conversation. The twin with the bow shrugged their shoulders.

“Fine.”

“Okay, what do you want to be called?” 

The twins once again looked at each other quizzically. Then, for whatever reason, they brought up their fists and started doing rock paper scissors. After a quick round, the twin with the bow won, and they turned back to the teacher smiling brightly.

“Lup!” They smiled, and Sildar felt his tummy doing something funny at the sight of their smile. The teacher nodded and stood straight.

“All right, Lup, why don’t you and your brother go around and meet everyone else?” Lup and the other twin nodded, but made no effort in moving, their hands were clasped together, challenging anyone to try and get between them. The teacher nodded before turning around and seeing Sildar. 

He could now see that the teacher had a clipboard in her hand and a pen. She smiled as she walked over to him.

“Good morning, what’s your name, dear?” She asked pleasantly. The teacher was pretty, with ink black hair and coal black eyes. She wore thick glasses like Sildar, but they actually suited her face. 

Sildar was instantly nervous to talk to her. He wished his Mama were here, but she had to go into work early, so one of his neighbors drove him to school today. He remembered how disappointed his Mama looked when she found out she would be missing his first day of school. She had promised she would pick him up and take him somewhere nice as a celebration and as an apology. He still wished she were here so he could hide behind her.

He was suddenly aware of how strange his s’s sounded, and he was afraid to give his name. He didn’t want to be made fun of. He remembered how the kids at the playground he and his Mama frequented would make fun of him because of it, especially the older kids. 

He could feel his face heat up, and feel the oncoming of tears. He was about to look like a giant baby and be made fun of for it. He was going to be labeled as a baby for the rest of the school year and maybe for the rest of his life. Somehow, this sentiment made him feel like crying even more. 

He was about to full out start to cry when he felt a weight on his shoulder. He looked and suddenly saw the twin with the red bow–Lup next to him, her arm around his shoulder. 

“Hey, you okay?” She asked, concern written on her face. Barry sniffled as he looked at her, eyes wide. He had a feeling that his eyes looked like bug eyes. All the kids on the playground made fun of him because of it. He shook his head as his bottom lip quivered. 

“I want my Mama, and-and my s’s are weird.” His voice was shaking, and he can’t believe he’s crying in front of this girl. She’s going to think he’s such a crybaby.

“I don’t think your s’s are weird.” She assured, rubbing some circles into his shoulder. She looked to the teacher a second before going back to him. “What’s your name?”

She was being so kind to him that he couldn’t believe it. She was only being nice because the teacher was right there. As soon as the teacher left, she was going to make fun of him and call him four eyes. Still, he couldn’t not trust her.

“Thildar Hallwinter.” He answered, cringing at it. She didn’t tease, just cocked her head to the side and looked to the teacher. 

“His name is Sildar, Miss.” She told her. The teacher smiled and checked something on her clipboard. 

“All right, you three have fun now.” The teacher said, walking away from them. Wait, three? Sildar looked to left and saw the other twin standing off to the side, narrowing their eyes at him.

Sildar whimpered slightly, backing up slightly but only stepping back onto the girl.

“Don’t mind him, he’s just being weird.” She assured, sticking her tongue out at her twin. Sildar smiled weakly at her. His head was starting to hurt due to not crying, but he was glad that he didn’t. He didn’t want to look like a crybaby in front of her. “Anyways, that’s my brother Taako.”

The girl pointed at the boy and Sildar nodded, waving weakly at Taako. He just narrowed his eyes further. 

“My name’s Lup and I’m a girl!” She smiled so brightly at him, that Sildar was convinced he was going to have to get new, even thicker glasses. Just the thought of that made him nervous, that would mean the kids on the playground would make fun of him even more. They’ll call him bug eyes and then try to take his glasses off his face and break them. They’ve done that to two pairs of glasses now. He didn’t want his Mama to know about it, so he just said he tripped. He wasn’t a tattle tale, and even if he was, they would just make fun of him for it.

Thinking about it and his Mama made him want to cry again. He missed her. He wanted to be cuddled by her and fall asleep to her reading to him. He sniffled again, feeling the tears finally break through. This was so embarrassing, he was crying in front of this girl and she was going to call him names for it. That made him cry even harder. 

“Hey, come with me,” she said soothingly, taking his hand and leading him somewhere. He followed her, trying to wipe away his tears, but they were coming too fast and he was too slow to catch them. The girl suddenly stopped and turned to him and started to dab his face with a tissue she grabbed. 

“I’m sorry,” he blubbered as she continued to dab his face with a tissue. 

“No need to apologize, Barry. Can I call you that? You look like a Barry.” Sildar startled and looked at her, forgetting about crying. No one had given him a nickname that was actually nice and wasn’t meant to make fun of him. At least, he was hoping this wasn’t a way to make fun of him.

“What does a ‘Barry’ even look like?” He inquired. She shrugged her shoulders, the sequins of her red bow glinting in the light. 

“Like a nerd,” she answered. Oh. She was making fun of him. He should’ve known that it was meant as an insult. He could feel the tears springing back. “But like...a cool nerd. Like your actual name is what uncool nerds look like, but you’re a cool nerd so you look like a Barry.”

Oh. He was...cool? He’s never been called cool before. He smiled softly, feeling his cheeks heat up. She smiled back at him and he felt his heart do something its never done before, and his tummy tickled in a strange way. She dabbed his cheeks again with the damp tissue. 

“Thank you,” he smiled. He’s never had someone pay this much attention to him other than his Mama. 

“No sweat. Also, you shouldn’t be embarrassed about crying. Everyone cries, even grown-ups. They cry even more than kids. Also, my brother is the biggest crybaby ever, especially when mother says no to peanut butter. He’s so dumb he forgets he’s allergic to it.” She told him. “But not me, I can have all the peanut butter I want because my body doesn’t freak out to it.”

She grinned at him, showing off the gap in her two front teeth. 

“See, we’re not as identical as everyone claims we are.”

He nodded at her, still feeling the funny fluttering in his tummy. He was growing nervous that he might’ve eaten something that had wings. Maybe there were some flies in his cereal this morning? He was going to have to check the boxes when he got home to make sure. 

“Come on, you can play with me and my brother.” She told him, dragging him back to the main room. Barry hadn’t even noticed that they were in the hallway next to the bathrooms. She held onto his hand, and he was becoming more and more aware of how sweaty his palms were. He hoped she didn’t notice. 

The other kids were playing with one another already, and some kids were trying to get Taako to play, but he stayed where he was and didn’t make any attempt to move. Lup took Barry back to him and looked at her brother.

“Koko, this is Barry!” She exclaimed when she was next to him. Taako wrinkled his nose. 

“He’s a nerd.”

“Yeah, but a cool one.”

“There’s no such thing!”

“Yeah there is because Barry is one!” Lup quipped, challenging her brother. Taako looked him over, blue eyes narrowing. 

“Yeah, guess you’re right, Lulu.” He was still pouting though and had his arms crossed. “Come on, let’s read that one book!” 

Lup chewed on her bottom lip and looked at Barry. 

“Do you know how to read?” She asked. Barry nodded and her face broke out into a smile. That feeling was back. “Ko, can Barry read with us too?”

“He won’t understand magic theory, but okay.” Taako’s gaze made Barry uncomfortable, and he felt bad for intruding. 

“It’s okay, you don’t-”

“Nah, I want you to hang with us!” Lup told him. Suddenly, she was leaning in close to him and Barry’s face started to heat up. “Don’t mind my brother, he’s always like this with new people. Mother and father say it’s because he’s shy, but I know better. He just doesn’t like people, especially if they’re new, but don’t worry, he’ll like you because I like you.” 

Barry liked it when Lup talked, it was nice and had a certain rhythm to it. He smiled at her and she smiled back. She led him over to a little corner of the classroom, Taako was already over there and cracking open an old looking book. 

“Me and Taako are gonna be wizards you know. He’s already told me that once he learns it, he’ll make my body a girl one, then mother and father can’t tell me that I’m a boy because it’s wrong.” She explained, sitting down next to her brother. Barry sat down next to her and Taako gave the book to his sister. 

The book was interesting, Barry had to admit. It was mostly on something called muting magic. They spent the entire day like that, sitting and reading together. They even read during recess, which was exciting, Barry didn’t really like playing rough like some of the other kids. 

At the end of the day, his Mama came as she promised and he ran to her when he saw her. She embraced him tightly and gave him a kiss on his head. 

“Hi, baby, how was your day?” She asked, holding him tightly. He put his legs around her so she could hold him better. 

“Good, I read the entire day!” He told her, breathing in her comforting scent of fresh flowers and vanilla. 

“You did? Did you make any new friends?” Barry nodded, snuggling his head in the crook of her neck. He missed his Mama. 

“Lup and Taako! Lup is really nice.” He told her. He felt his Mama nod against him as she got up. Mama was really strong, she could carry him no matter how big he got. 

“Mrs Hallwinter?” His teacher called out, he could hear her boots on the carpeted floor come over to them. “Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Miss-” Barry started to tune her out as he looked to Lup and Taako. They were still in the corner, but the book was now closed as they were watching him. He started to wiggle to tell his Mama he wanted to go on the floor. She set him down gently, eyes never leaving his teacher. He walked back over to Taako and Lup.

“Is that your Mama?” Asked Lup, looking at his Mama. He nodded, adjusting his glasses. “Your Mama let’s you jump all over her like that?”

“Aren’t Mama’s supposed to let you do that?”

“Not our mother. She says we’ll dirty her clothes.” Lup stated, shifting the big book in her hands. Taako shuffled slightly, getting the big bag that they had out and opening it up for his sister. She put the book away quickly, eyes looking at the door. 

Barry followed her gaze and saw a tall elf woman that looked like Taako and Lup. She had on a nice outfit with long blonde hair, and sunglasses covered her eyes. She was turning every which way until she spotted the twins and tutted her tongue. She marched over and Barry started feeling uneasy. 

“What did your father and I tell you about this bow?” She asked sharply. Lup’s eyes widened as her hands flew to her hair and feeling the bow was still in her hair. 

“Not to wear it,” she answered, averting the woman’s gaze.

“I swear, you two and your fantasies.” The woman sighed, snatching the bow from out of Lup’s hair and stuffing it in her purse. Lup winced as the bow snagged at her hair and Barry felt bad for her. “When will you grow out of this phase already?”

“It’s not a phase, though!” Taako piped up, coming to his sister’s defense. The mean woman turned to him. 

“See what you did, you got your brother into it. Come along, your father will hear about this.” The woman turned on her heel and marched back to the front of the building. Barry turned to Lup and Taako. Lup’s bottom lip was quivering slightly, but she held her face in a stone angry expression. Her face was turning red and Taako moved to hold her hand. He whispered something to her and she nodded. 

“Sildar!” He turned at the sound of his name and looked at his Mama who now had a blue folder in her hands. She was smiling at him kindly, a stark contrast to how Lup and Taako’s mother was. “Come on, baby, it’s time to go!”

Barry nodded and turned back to Lup and Taako. 

“I’ll see you two tomorrow, right?” He asked hopefully.

“You still wanna be our friend?” Taako raised his eyebrows, looking surprised at his request. 

“Yeah...I like you two. You’re good.” He answered back, looking at Lup in particular. Lup looked at him, her blue eyes wide, but a smile slowly forming on her face. She stepped away from her brother and gave him something that only his Mama has ever done. She hugged him.

“We like you too, Barry.” She murmured. Barry’s heart was beating so fast that he was sure it was going faster than a train. He reciprocated the hug, and they held on tight for a few seconds before Lup let go. She smiled at him. “See you tomorrow, Barry!”

Lup took Taako’s hand and skipped out the door, waving to Barry’s Mama on the way out. 

Barry, for his part, walked back to his Mama with his cheeks on fire. He probably had a stupid look on his face, but he found himself not caring about it. His Mama looked at him as he walked over, taking his hand once he reached her. 

“Was that Lup and Taako?” She asked. Barry nodded, still incapable to find his voice. “She seems like a very nice girl.”

“She is,” he said, his voice sounding small, and for once he didn’t hate how it sounded. His Mama walked out with him, bidding his teacher goodbye. 

His Mama was buckling him into his carseat and she was going on about how he was soon going to graduate to a booster with how big he’s gotten. Barry felt a little self-conscious about that since he’s always been bigger than most kids and they tended to pick on him for that. However, Lup didn’t seem to care about that, so maybe he shouldn’t either.

“How about we go to Fantasy Panera as a celebration of a good first day, baby?” His Mama asked when she got into the driver's seat. 

“Yes please!” Barry exclaimed, clapping his hands enthusiastically. “Can I get the pumpkin shaped cookie, Mama?”

His Mama chuckled softly as she pulled out of the parking spot, making eye contact with him for a few seconds. 

“You can get whatever you want, Sildar.” She told him softly. His Mama calling him by his given name made him think for a second. Lup had said that ‘Sildar’ was what uncool nerds looked like, and she told him that he looked like a cool nerd.

“Hey, Mama?”  
“Yes, baby?”

“Can you call me Barry from now on?” He asked. 

“Why is that, dear?” She asked, her brown eyes flickering to her mirror for a quick second to tell him she was listening. 

“Because cool nerds are called Barry, and Lup said that I’m a cool nerd.” He explained completely straight-faced. His Mama laughed softly and Barry could see her nodding her head. 

“If that’s what you want to be called, then so be it, Barry.” She smiled. Barry’s heart soared. His Mama was very quick to adhere to his request and that made him happy.

It made him even happier when the lady working behind the counter asked for what the name for the order was and his Mama said ‘Barry.’ 

Looking back, Barry knew that this was the day he fell in love with Lup. It was all because of how gentle she was when he was crying. She made him feel included and seen. She made him happy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grades 1st and 3rd Grade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings! Transphobia is present in this chapter! I tried to put little stars to where it'll be at, and then stars again to when it ends!

The start of a new school year always gave Barry a certain nervousness. He didn’t know what to expect, nor did he know if his teacher was going to like him. He didn’t know why they wouldn’t, but that thought always crossed his mind, especially as he was clambering out of his Mama’s car at seven in the morning. 

The morning was gray, the early fog still not fully awake. The sun shined down weakly, barely warming the surrounding area. It was still summer, but even the first day of school had the sun sleepy. He could feel the nervousness start to swirl in his tummy again. His legs were feeling like jelly as he waited for his Mama to get out of the car. She got out, moving her purse to her front, her grown-up shoes hit the pavement with a satisfying click and Barry quickly gravitated to her. Closing her door, Mama hit a button on her keys and locked the door before chucking her them in her purse. 

Barry scrambled to take her hand, clinging to her like a lifeline. He was nervous that he wouldn’t have any friends and that no one would want to play with him. He was nervous that Lup and Taako wouldn’t be in his class, especially since he didn’t see them during open house and that the teacher hadn’t placed everyone’s name on their desks yet. What if Lup and Taako were at school, though? Would they still be his friend? Maybe their friendship only lasted for one year only and when he saw them again they would pretend he didn’t exist. What if they decided not to like him anymore? Barry wouldn’t know what he would do if that were the case. 

Barry and his Mama walked into the school, escaping from the dreary morning and into the bright hallway of the school. The walls smelled like fresh paint, and the floors were more shiny than they were during open house. The walls that normally held paintings from each class were bare, eagerly waiting to be rid of their plain white walls. 

“Are you excited about seeing Lup and Taako?” His Mama asked. He didn’t know how to answer if he was honest. Sure, he was excited to see them, but he wouldn’t be excited if they weren’t his friend anymore. A lot can change during summer time, and that meant feelings too. He hoped they were still his friends, especially Lup. He didn’t know what he would do if she weren’t his friend. 

His Mama had heard all about Lup and Taako last year. He talked about how they would read together and how they played on the playground with one another. He watched Lup do some ballet moves that she picked up from movies. Barry thought she was really good, she could do two full twirls without falling down. He wondered if she improved at all during the summer. Maybe if she was still his friend, she would show him her improvement. 

Barry just shrugged, not knowing how to answer at the moment, and he guessed his Mama knew because she didn’t press him anymore. Mama was really nice like that, she didn’t push him to say anything if he didn’t want to. 

They arrived at his classroom door all too quickly. He didn’t want to go in. He wanted his Mama to take him to work with her, she wasn’t in the lab, and maybe he can swear to her that he’ll be extra quiet. Though, he knew that wouldn’t work on Mama. Mama took school seriously, and would tell him he had to do well to have a good future. He didn’t understand all the talk about his future, but it did make him nervous. 

The door was decorated in a blue paper with a sun in some sunglasses off to the side. On the bottom of the door, there was green paper with some flowers on it. Barry began to count them, he could count all the way to 100 now, he and Mama worked on it all summer long. 

He counted, making sure he didn’t count the same flower twice and came up with fifteen. That’s how many were in the class, Barry knew because he counted the desks during open house.

“Mama, there’s fifteen flowers on the door!” His s’s still sounded funny, but his Mama assured him this year that someone was going to come in and help him out with them. Maybe he can impress Lup with his new s’s.

“Very good, Barry.” His mother beamed, giving his hand a quick squeeze. “You’re so smart.” 

Barry smiled at the compliment. Of course he was smart. Mama was smart, so naturally he was smart. 

They stepped inside, and instantly they were greeted by a short woman with thinning brown hair. She had a kind face paired with a nice smile. Barry thought she was very pretty. 

“Good morning, Mrs Hallwinter, good morning Barry,” she greeted. During open house, his Mama had told the pretty teacher that he prefer going by ‘Barry’ rather than ‘Sildar.’ The teacher immediately nodded and made a note of it on her clipboard. “Barry, you can go find your desk as I talk to your mom and put your backpack in your cubby.”

Barry nodded and went to his cubby first. The names seemed to be in alphabetical order, so he found his cubby pretty quickly. He put his backpack up and his lunchbox. Mama packed him a tasty cake for dessert today and he couldn’t wait until lunch time to eat it. He grabbed his crayon box from his backpack along with his homework folder and his new notebook that had a picture of Fantasy Cookie Monster on it. He was really happy when he found it in the reject pile in the Fantasy Target, almost like it was waiting for him.

He finished zipping up his backpack and walked back to the desks. Mama and the teacher were still talking, Mama nodding every so often. His attention was quickly stolen away to finding his desk. The desks were by groups of three Barry saw, and each time he passed by one desk that didn’t have Lup or Taako’s name he grew more and more nervous. What if they weren’t in this class? What if they didn’t go to this school anymore? They didn’t say anything to him at the end of last year that they weren’t coming back. Then again, even if they didn’t tell him didn’t mean anything. 

Finally, in the last group, right near the window, Barry found his name, and another name that made the pit of his stomach unknot. In fancy writing, Taako’s name was there. A second name that Barry didn’t recognize was there too which puzzled Barry. Were Taako and Lup separated this year? He knew that the school did that sometimes with twins, something about making sure they made friends outside of one another. Didn’t make sense to Barry though, Taako and Lup made friends just fine outside of each other. 

Barry took a seat at his desk and waited until the other kids came in. Mama had to go into work early, but she didn’t want to miss his first day again. So, instead of asking a neighbor to drive him in, Mama got up really early and drove him in. She had to stay at work late, though, so he was in after school care. He didn’t mind, though, Mama was busy and doing what she loved. It made him happy.

He didn’t really have anything to do though, not with being the only kid here. Other kids were probably going to be a while until school started at eight, and Barry would be bored. He didn’t have to go to breakfast since Mama made sure he had a nice hot breakfast before he left the house. He also didn’t want to get his snack out either, seeming as he wouldn’t have anything for snacktime, and he just ate. So, he put his head down and rested his eyes for a moment, falling asleep to his Mama’s voice. 

A bit later, Mama walked over to his desk and stroked his hair a moment before kissing his head.

“Love you baby, remember you have after school program today, okay?” He lifted his head up and nodded, giving her a big hug. 

“Love you too, Mama.” He wouldn’t cry this time. He was no longer five, he can handle Mama leaving him to go to work.

She kissed his forehead again before standing back up and stroking his hair again. She smiled at him and waved. “I’ll see you after school, Barry.” She bid his teacher a farewell and with that, Mama left, only the sound of her grown-up heels clicking down the hall faintly. 

It was only a short while later before the next kids came walking in. Barry recognized them instantly and shot out of his chair, only to stop when he caught sight of the grown-up behind them. Barry couldn’t say Lup’s school name in front of Lup and Taako’s parents. They didn’t like it when she was called anything other than her birth name. It didn’t make sense to Barry that they didn’t like it, especially since Mama barely asked questions when he asked her to stop calling him Sildar. 

However, Lup never told Barry her given name, and nor did he really want to know it. She was Lup, just Lup. Though, in this moment, with their father right there, Barry didn’t know how to behave.

For her part, Lup ran straight over to Barry and gave him a bone crushing hug as her brother lagged behind.

“Barry, I’ve missed you!” She exclaimed excitedly. Her blonde hair was still short, cropped right at her pointed ears and she still wore drab boy clothes. However, on her feet were some pink sparkly shoes that glinted when the big overhead lights hit them. Barry reciprocated her bone crushing hug, his nervousness loosening as he realized that Lup was still happy to see him. 

“I’ve missed you, too!” He smiled, feeling his cheeks grow red and his tummy start feeling funny. He was happy that those feelings hadn’t changed about her. “Are you in this class, too? I didn’t see your name anywhere.”

Lup pulled away at that, her eyebrows furrowing.

“Of course I am, why wouldn’t my name-” she stopped suddenly as something that Barry couldn’t make out cross her face. She turned to her brother and whispered something in his ear and he nodded. He looked at the group Barry was at and went for the unfamiliar name tag. He quickly pried it up without the adults noticing. Barry gasped, eyes wide. 

“Taako, the teacher is gonna get mad!” He stated in a hushed tone, careful to not alert the grown-ups as they talked. 

“It’s fine,” Lup’s tone was strangely guarded. Her hands were in fists and her face angry. Barry barely saw this expression on her, typically only happened whenever someone picked on him, and everyone from their kindergarten class stopped doing that after the first week. 

Taako was crumpling up the name tag when the grown-ups decided to stop talking to one another and their father turned to them. He was a scary man, with short blonde hair and sickly pale skin. Taako and Lup definitely looked more like their mother, right down to sharing the same bronze skin tone and golden freckles. However, the one thing that Taako and Lup inherited from their father were his eyes. However, his eyes were cold and cruel, and while Lup and Taako could have cold cruel eyes, they were typically warm and welcoming, especially with him. Barry was afraid of this man, he reminded Barry of a scary spider, all long limbs and uncaring eyes.

“Boys, get over here,” Even his voice was cold and it sent a shiver down his spine. Taako and Lup immediately obeyed. He didn’t know if he had actually seen it though, but he could’ve sworn that he saw Lup flinch at being called a boy. It made no sense to Barry as to why their parents referred to Lup as a boy. She was a girl, plain and simple. Maybe they just didn’t want a girl. It made Barry sad because girls in general were really cool. He preferred playing with girls rather than boys because they were a bit nicer. 

Their father was saying something to them, and Taako and Lup had their heads bowed, gripping each other’s pinkies tightly. Then, suddenly, their father was done talking to them and turned on his heel without even kissing either of them goodbye. Taako and Lup relaxed considerably as soon as their father left and Lup turned to the teacher. 

“Ma’am, my father’s a liar. I’m not a boy, I’m a girl.” Lup told her, looking her squarely in the eyes. The teacher nodded. 

“I see. Your previous teacher told me as much when I ran into her earlier. I understand that I’m to call you Lup while at school and have you stay with the girls. We’re going to have to rearrange some seats.” The teacher began rambling on about how they were to make a table for four but Lup interrupted her. 

“Oh no, Ma’am, I don’t mind staying with Barry and Taako! Taako’s my best friend and Barry’s my second best friend!” Lup assured. “I just know that I’m a girl.”

The teacher made a face, but nodded anyway. “Well, all right then. How about we make you a new name tag? I see you ripped off the old one.” Lup jumped and clapped her hands together.

“Oh yes please! Can my name tag be pink? I love pink!”

The teacher chuckled and nodded her head. 

“I can even use the pink sharpie if you want.” 

Barry had never seen Lup smile that brightly ever, he was sure that the sun had given up all of its brightness today and gave it all to Lup.

Lup began to skip over to the teacher’s desk when she stopped and looked at Barry. 

“Barry, look at the shoes my auntie gave me!” She exclaimed, showing off her pink shoes. “Auntie says that they’re almost like ballet shoes and that I’ll be able to twirl better in them! I’ll show you at recess! I can twirl four times in a row without falling now!”

Barry nodded, looking at Lup with a soft expression on his face. He felt a sharp poke in his side.

“Stop looking at Lup like that, people are gonna think you’re in love with her or something.” Taako warned lazily. Barry for his part, didn’t sputter as much, and only turned a tiny shade of red.

**XxX**

“I don’t know why everyone is wondering which one of us is the older one. We’re twins, neither of us are older than the other.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re the baby, Lulu,”

“Shut up.”

They had been going at it for the past ten minutes, and honestly? Barry wouldn’t have it any other way. The three of them were at lunch chatting about which one was older than the other. Barry won the prize for being older than both of them, coming to victory by just one month. 

“It’s true though, our birth certificate states that I was born two minutes before you, which means I’m alpha twin.”

“Only the baby twin would bring in birth certificates, dummy.” Lup grumbled, crossing her arms. This school year, Lup’s hair was slightly longer. Apparently Taako had refused to cut his hair because their parents claimed that only girls have long hair. Taako being Taako decided that he no longer wanted to have short hair, and actually bit his father’s hand when he came with the scissors so hard that he actually drew blood. Apparently since then, Taako and Lup have been staying with a relative.

Now Lup’s hair was down to her earlobes, and Barry could tell that she enjoyed the new length with how she moved it every which way.

Barry finally put the two extra lunch boxes that he brought on the table before. 

“Mama made you two lunches today, by the way.” He stated, giving Lup and Taako their lunch boxes. 

“Ah, thank you Mama Bluejeans!” Taako thanked, grabbing his box.

“Why do you call Mama that?” Barry asked, opening his own lunch box and inspecting what Mama made for him. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich, baby carrots, almonds, strawberry go-gurt, and for dessert, a small chocolate cake. Mama had also packed him wet wipes to clean his hands off of any peanut butter that might’ve hit his hands and his lac-taid because he insisted on eating anything with dairy. Mama had also left him a little note that read: “Love you Barry, have a great day!” With a little smiley face and heart on it. Barry smiled and put it next to his lunch box so he could look at it during lunch.

“Because we call you Barry Bluejeans and she’s your Mama.” Taako explained looking at his lunch. “Aw man, no peanut butter!”

“You’re allergic, dummy.”

“I like to live life on the edge.”

“I’d like to live life with my twin.”

“You two have never called me Barry Bluejeans though.” Barry pressed, suddenly very perplexed. 

“Oh, oops. Yeah, Lup calls you Barry Bluejeans in her diary.”

“Taako!” Lup yelled, her face turning red. “Okay, I take it back, you can have my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”

“Really?”

“No,” Barry cut in, looking at Lup worriedly. She gave him a lopsided smile and shook her head.

“Lame.” Taako pouted, taking out his ham, lettuce, and cheese sandwich. Taako was allergic to nuts, so Mama had to be careful as to what she gives him.

“Anyway, Barry, have you checked out the library yet to see if they got any new magic books?” Lup asked, carefully unwrapping her sandwich.

“Haven’t had the chance. Have you two had any luck with conjuring anything?”

Lup’s face broke into a smile.

“Oh yeah. But, I can’t show you here, okay?” Barry nodded. “You think we can come over? Only if your Mama agrees though.” 

“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind any.” Ever since Taako and Lup had moved into their relatives house, they have been able to come over to his house. Apparently, the relative barely even knows they’re there in the first place.

Lup smiled at him and Barry could feel his tummy–no, his  _ stomach _ start to flip again. Her smile still made it seem like there were butterflies in his stomach. 

She was about to add anything when a shadow loomed over them.

“What’s this? A note from mommy? What are you, like five?” Asked a chilling voice behind Barry. He was too afraid to turn around, but knew if he didn’t he would be called five again. The bully snatched the note from his Mama and that’s what made Barry turn around.

“Hey, give it back!” He yelled, rising up to grab the note back, but the bully was too fast and Barry has never been very fast in the physical department. 

“‘Love you, Barry, have a great day!” Teased the bully, mocking his Mama’s words, he could feel the anger start to boil. “Looks like we have a momma's boy.”

“So what if he’s a Mama’s boy? At least his Mama cares about him,” Lup’s voice was level and her eyes were deadly.

*****“Like you know anything about having a ma who cares about  _ you _ . Your ma is probably real happy that she doesn’t have to put up with a boy who likes to pretend he’s a girl.” The bully spat. All Barry saw from Lup was the shocked look on her face and how her eyes started to pool with tears. Her hands were in fists on the table, her fingernails digging in her skin. Really, all it took was seeing Lup begin to cry because no one makes Lup cry. All he remembers was that Taako was suddenly by his side and they were both staring the bully down before red took over his vision.

When he came to, his left eye was hurting a lot, and he was suddenly not wearing his glasses. He was in the nurse's office and Taako was next to him, at least he assumed it was Taako. The person next to him had an ice pack to his nose.

“Mama Bluejeans is on her way over.” Okay, definitely Taako.

“What happened?”

“We beat up a fifth grader.”

“What? No way.”

“Yeah way. We have mad playground cred now. Ain’t no one gonna mess with us.” Taako stretched his arm not holding the ice pack. “Also, Barry, how she do it?”

“Do what?” He asked, he tried to furrow his eyebrows, only to get pain. Maybe Mama will kiss it better, or is he getting too old for that? He was going to hit the double digits soon, maybe he shouldn’t rely on Mama to make his booboos better, and maybe he shouldn’t be calling bruises booboos anymore.

“Make everything taste like key lime go-gurt. It’s great, and I really don’t know how she does it.” Barry looked at the Taako blob, not blinking his one good eye. 

“What?” Barry was so confused that he was starting to think that maybe his hearing got hurt during the fight. “My Mama can’t do that.”

“Uh, yeah she can, she made my sandwich taste like that and my carrots. Is she a magic user?”

“No, my Mama is a science professor.”

“You can still be a magic user science professor.” 

“Taako, what did you do?” Barry accused. He was certain that his Mama wasn’t a magic user. She told him she wasn’t when he went on and on about magic to her. Instead, she said that his Dad was a magic user. Taako for his part was quiet for once, suddenly taking more interest in icing his nose. “Taako.”

“Me and Lup might’ve had a little test run on the whole transmuting her body to a female one.” Taako said, waving his hand. 

“You what?”

“It’s fine, we’re alive! Sure, the spell might’ve backfired and blessed my taste buds with only tasting key lime gogurt, but hey, I’m not complaining about that.” Taako was all too chill over this, meanwhile, Barry was freaking out. 

“You could’ve really hurt Lup!”

“But I didn’t.”

“Still, that was so dangerous!” Barry was so wrought with worry that his eye started to hurt. 

“Yeah, it was stupid, but at least we know what not to do when we do it for real.” Barry knew the conversation was done. Taako was closing himself off, and Barry respected that about him. 

Minutes went by in silence until another figure came in. 

“Hey, Taaks, the principal wants to talk with you.” Lup’s voice entered the room and Barry just felt like closing in on himself. He really fought in front of Lup, she was going to think he was such a dummy. 

“See ya,” Taako said as he jumped down from the bed and walked out the door. A few seconds passed before he felt another person occupy the space. 

“How’s your face?” Her voice soft and full of concern.

“A little sore but it’ll be okay.”

He heard Lup take in a deep breath and felt as she gingerly touched his face. Her hands hovered over his bruised eye, careful to not press down on it. Barry was really surprised that she couldn’t hear how his heart beat so fast, it was deafening to his ears.

“I’m sorry,” Lup broke, suddenly she was sobbing in front of him, and Barry panicked. Lup was crying and he was the reason she was. He wrapped his arms around her a little awkwardly since she was the one to usually initiate contact. 

“No need to apologize, Lup. I should be the one saying sorry, I lost control!” Barry assured, rubbing those circles into her shoulders that he remembered her doing to him so long ago. 

“Yeah, because of me!” She was crying heavily now, her tears just pouring out. “Maybe it’d be better if I pretended I was a boy. It would make mother and father happy, and the teachers wouldn’t have to make special accommodations for me, and parents wouldn’t have to be afraid of me.”

Lup was crying so heavily that it broke Barry’s heart. Hearing about the teachers making special accommodations for her also hurt him. Just last year, their second grade teacher was fired because she let Lup use the girls bathroom after parents found out and complained about it. It didn’t make sense to Barry though. Lup wasn’t a boy, and never will be, he knew that it would make her upset and uncomfortable to even pretend. 

“You wouldn’t be happy, though.” He spoke to her softly, trying to comfort her in anyway. 

“So? Who cares if I’m happy if everyone else feels safer around me.”

“I care if you’re happy and so does Taako. He’s already told me about your misadventure and key lime gogurt fiasco.” Lup let out a watery laugh and hugged Barry back.*****

“You’re a good friend, Barry.” Lup whispered.

They clung onto each other for half an hour, Barry trying to make sure Lup was feeling better. The door opened and the school nurse walked in. 

“Sildar, your mother is here.” Barry cringed at the sound of his real name, and Lup tutted her tongue. 

“Huh, I forgot your name was Sildar.” Barry nodded as he tried to navigate out the door, arms outstretched. “Oh, Barry, I have your glasses.” He heard Lup walk over and feel her hand press his glasses into his palm. He thanked her silently and put them on. Immediately, everything sharpened and he was looking into Lup’s blotchy face. 

He frowned at this. This was the first time he has ever seen Lup cry and it really made him upset to see her like this. Usually, she was comforting Taako or him after tripping and falling, or because people were making fun of them. Barry typically got the brunt of teasing from other kids since he was bigger than most of them. 

He looked around the room, catching sight of the sink and paper towels. He walked over and grabbed the brown crumbly paper towel and wet it. He made sure the now soaked paper towel was properly wrung out before going back to Lup and gently wiped the paper towel on her face. She cringed at the coldness of it, but allowed he to pat her face down. 

“Thank you, Barry.” She sounded so sincere and he was pretty sure it wasn’t just because he helped her out with her puffy eyes. It felt almost weighted.

“That’s what friends are for,” he smiled, he gave her face a final pat before chucking the paper towel in the garbage and going to see the principal and his Mama. He didn’t regret what he did, and he made sure that the principal knew that. That fifth grader was being a bully and being downright cruel to Lup. What Barry did to that kid was what he wanted to do to Lup and Taako’s parents. No one hurt Lup’s feelings and got away with it, and that’s what he said to the principal.

Of course since he didn’t apologize to the kid (because he didn’t deserve an apology), Barry was suspended from school for the next week. He wouldn’t see Lup or Taako for a full week and that made him upset. Taako, he found out, was also suspended for the week, and he seemed dismissive over it. 

He was close to an expulsion, but his Mama managed to convince the principal to only give him a suspension, as he has never had any behavioral problems before. The principal gave in, and before they left the school for the week, his teacher met up with his Mama and gave him the work for the next week sneakily. His teacher said that Barry was a good student and shouldn’t get behind on his school work. She would even accept all his work when he got back even though she was technically not allowed. She also assured Barry that she extended the same thing out to Taako.

When they were in the car, Barry could feel the tension between he and his Mama. Mama was mad at him, he knew it, she was going to give Barry up just like Lup and Taako’s parents because she saw that he was no longer worth the trouble.

“Mama, are you mad at me?” His stomach twisting and turning every which way. Barry didn’t have many relatives outside of his Mama. She was going to drop him off at the orphanage. Mama sighed and rested her forehead on the steering wheel for a moment before coming back up and turning to face him. 

“I’m not mad, honey, I’m just...I’m disappointed.” Barry felt a ball develop in his throat. Disappointed was worse than being mad. 

“Mama if I didn’t then he would’ve just kept being mean to Lup, and no one should be mean to Lup because she’s the nicest person ever!” He cried. Did Mama think he was a bad kid now? Probably, he did get into a fight. 

“Baby, I know, and I’m proud that you stood up for your friend, but it wasn’t done in the most conducive way.” Her brown eyes were soft, not at all the hard blue eyes of the principal. Barry wrinkled his nose at the unfamiliar word. 

“What does conducive mean?” He asked slowly, mindful of his lisp and making sure his tongue was behind his teeth.

“It means to make something happen, to help a situation happen.” She explained softly. “Just, next time, Barry, get a grownup to tell instead of using your hands.” 

“The grownups don’t do anything. They just tell us to walk away and you can’t walk away during lunch time or else you get in trouble.” Barry explained. His Mama made a face, her eyebrows furrowing together.

“Is that true?” She asked, “even if you say you’re being bullied they don’t do anything?”

“Yeah, Lup once told a teacher because someone was picking on Taako. The teacher just called the student over and talked to them but did nothing else. He came back and continued to pick on him and then Lup punched him. That got him to stop.” Lup had looked so cool when she punched the bully straight in the stomach, she was then put in time out for recess for the rest of the week, but she said it was worth it.

Mama made a dissatisfied noise as she turned herself around again and began to back out.

“The kids picking on you really don’t get any time-outs?” His Mama asked, looking behind her to see if the way was clear. 

“Nope, just a talking to. Apparently when you punch someone it’s when they want to take action.” Barry shrugged his shoulders. “How long did the other kid get, Mama?”

“As far as I know, he only got a three day suspension and that he couldn’t attend his end of the year celebration.” Mama told him. Barry frowned.

“That’s not fair. He started it.” Barry pouted, and crossed his arms.

“I know, baby, I don’t like it either, but how they saw it, you just punched him for no reason. Doesn’t make it right, though.” Mama pulled away from the school and Barry turned to memorize the building. How much would change when he got back? Would Lup be conforming to what her parents wanted? He hoped not. She wouldn’t be happy. She was finally able to grow out her hair, and Barry had never seen her so happy. If she was no longer happy in her own skin, then that made Barry upset.

“How about this? Instead of staying home all week, you can come in with Mama to work?” Barry’s eyes widened, and a large smile erupted on his face. He was only really allowed to come into Mama’s work when her boss had scheduled dates for kids. However, he also knew that Mama’s boss liked him, so she may just allow it.

“Really?” Bouncing in his booster seat. 

“Really. Mama’s boss knows how serious you are about growing up and doing what Mama does. Of course you wouldn’t be going into any labs...not without proper gear that is.” Barry erupted in applause and clapped his hands. “Are you excited?”

Barry nodded enthusiastically, he couldn’t wait to tell Lup and Taako all about his week at Mama’s job. They’re going to think he’s so grown up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter, and thank you for all the kudos on the last one. I didn't really expect so many in such a short period of time, and I gotta admit, I started crying a little bit. Thank you guys so much! I'm going to try to set a schedule for myself to update every Tuesday, and I really hope to keep up with that. The good news is that the next chapter is all finished and just needs to be edited. See you guys next Tuesday!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4th and 5th grade

The air was freezing him from the inside out. He was sure of it. Even with his snow pants on and large jacket, the air just seemed to cut right through him. His teeth chattered uncontrollably, and he could see that the tip of his nose was turning red, not even regarding the fact he had just left the blanket warmth of the car. He closed the minivan door behind him and turned to his Mama. 

“Bye, Barry, have a good first day back! I’ll pick you up after school.” She smiled at him and blew him a quick kiss. He waved goodbye as she rolled up the window and drove away. Right, it was the first day back after Candlenights break. He was going to see Lup and Taako again. He forgot about how cold he was and started to walk briskly to his class. He wouldn’t see Taako until lunch since this year the school decided to separate Taako and Lup. They had been able to avoid separation, but the school board thought that having the twins together would be detrimental to their social life. Barry knew that they were still upset over the debacle last year and blamed them for what happened. 

Surprisingly, Barry and Lup were still in the same class together which made him ecstatic. Ecstatic, that was a vocabulary word that his teacher gave them at the beginning of the year. He and Lup used it as often as possible just to get it ingrained in their heads, also it was fun to say. Though, Barry had to make sure to keep his tongue behind his teeth to not have his lisp come out. 

His speech therapist said that he was making great strides though, and soon he wouldn’t be needing to be taken out of class at all. He was overjoyed for that, he was getting sick and tired of having his learning time interrupted.

The school wasn’t at all warm, it seemed that they forgot that the students were coming back today and forgot to set the heater. Even so, that couldn’t dampen Barry’s mood as he looked forward to seeing Lup. He wondered what she did over Candlenights break. Maybe she learned new spells and was able to control her fire just a little bit better. Lup had told him that their new caregiver was pretty savvy at magic and was teaching them how to hone in on their skills. 

He was lost in thought as he was climbing the stairs. There was a dopey smile on his face as he thought about Lup and how her break went that he didn’t notice someone’s backpack peeking out from the half wall. He especially didn’t expect someone to jump out. 

“Barry!” A voice called out, a head popping out from the half wall. Barry startled and almost lost his footing on the stairs. A hand shot out to steady him, and he felt his feet plant better. He stared into the smiling face of Lup, an apology written all over her face.

“Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to scare you!” She apologized, a laugh hidden in her voice. Barry found himself laughing too, climbing the rest of the way up. 

“Liar, you totally meant to do that,” he accused good naturedly. A laugh erupted, sounding like a clear bell. Barry felt his heart speed up and his cheeks heating up. She was still holding his hands he noticed, and his stomach flipped. He had only just started admitting to himself that he had a crush on Lup, and he feared that it was more than just a crush. However, he didn’t want to tell her that he liked liked her, that would be weird. They were best friends.

She let go of his hands, and his hands immediately felt cold. She stepped away from him and did a little twirl.

“Do you notice anything different?” She asked, twirling around again, letting her skirt flutter gracefully. Wait...skirt? Barry stared for a second, finally noticing Lup’s outfit. It was a soft pink color with white frills accenting it, a darker pink sash was tied around her waist, being tied as a bow in the back. She wore stark white tights with black Mary Janes that gave her a bit of height, now making her a good inch taller than Barry. The material of the dress seemed heavy and her sleeves were long and poofed out, making it easier to combat the cold climate outside. Her hair that had grown even longer from their time apart, was pulled in a half ponytail style with another bow that matched the one she already had. 

She looked so incredibly happy as she continued to twirl gracefully in her new dress.

  
“You look great, Lup!” Barry smiled. He knew that this was what she’s been wanting since they were in kindergarten, and she looked so impossibly happy that he couldn’t help but smile even wider. 

“Auntie made it for me for Candlenights! I kept going on and on about how badly I wanted to wear a dress, and she made it for me! She also let me and Taako get our ears pierced, look!” She rushed forward to him, showing off a pink stud earring in her earlobe. “Auntie also said that I’m starting dance class this week! Can you believe it? It’s a dream come true!”

“That’s super cool!” Barry was smiling like a maniac, he couldn’t help it. This is all Lup ever wanted, and now she was getting it. Lup surged forward and gave Barry a big hug and started to jump up and down. She was laughing so much, and just so happy that Barry couldn’t help but laugh and jump with her. Her happiness was so infectious that he just had to. 

Slowly, Lup came down and pulled away from him, picking up her pink sparkly backpack. So far, this guardian was the best for Taako and Lup, Lup saying that their Auntie understood her since their Auntie was just like Lup.

“Auntie has also been showing Taako how to do the spell that she did on herself. He’s been going at it all year, and I hear that they’re finally going to move on with trying it on other things.” She explained, shouldering her bag. “Auntie says that with Taako’s affinity to transmutation magic, that we should be able to do it some time during the beginning of next school year, maybe even during summer time!”

Lup was so excited, she was gripping her skirt in so much excitement that Barry couldn’t help but be excited with her. She turned to Barry, holding out her hand for him to walk to class together. Her eyes were sparkling so much that Barry was put in a daze and grabbed a hold of her hand. They’ve done this before, walking to class holding hands. The other kids made fun of him for holding hands with Lup, often asking him if Lup was his girlfriend. Barry, whose cheeks are painted scarlet at even the suggestion of being Lup’s boyfriend, would deny it quietly. Lup would often roll her eyes and say they were just friends and it was normal for best friends to hold hands. That always made Barry feel a little upset. 

“What did you do during Candlenights? You gotta tell me!” Lup asked, there was a skip in her step, and her shoes echoed down the still empty hall. It was still quite early and not even the buses were there yet. Mama had an early class this semester so she had to drop him off early. It didn’t bother Barry at all, Lup and Taako were often dropped off early, something about their Auntie owning a bakery. He still hadn’t seen it yet, but was still planning on dropping by and picking up some lemon bars. Lup had told Barry during electives that their Auntie was teaching both of them how to cook and bake. Apparently Taako had taken to cooking fairly quickly and Lup to baking. 

Barry thought for a moment. Mama had taken him to a science museum which was really interesting. It was talking about the solar system, and Barry thought about how cool it would be to travel it. They also talked about pocket dimensions and other planes. Barry once again thought about how cool it would be to travel the planes and how much he’d be able to learn from them. For Candlenights, he and Mama just had a quiet evening together, had a nice dinner, and Mama had surprised him with a build your own model solar system set he was looking at. He didn’t think Lup would be interested in any of that, but then again. 

“I uh, Mama got me a build your own solar system set,” he murmured, just loud enough to make sure Lup had heard him. Lup stopped suddenly, almost making Barry crash into her. 

“What, really? Have you built it yet?” The same sparkle was entering Lup’s eyes, and Barry really couldn’t help it when his face started to heat up.

“Uh, no, I was gonna do it with Mama, but she’s been busy prepping for her class that she didn’t have the time.” He explained, the sparkle was growing in her eyes and Barry had to look away to avoid being blinded. 

“Can I come over and help? Taako’s sick today so it’s gonna be boring when I get home.” She talked so fast, but after years of knowing her, Barry knew what she was saying. 

“Yeah, let me text Mama to see if it’s okay!” He smiled. He liked that he was spending more time with Lup, he liked spending time with her in general. He pulled out his Stone of Farspeech and heard Lup gasp.

“No way, you got a Stone? Since when?” She asked, examining it.

“Oh, Mama gave it to me for Candlenights, she said that I needed one in case she was running late. I can only call and text her though, well, and four others, but I only have it set up for Mama.” He let her hold it, her hands touching the buttons gently. 

“Can I put a number in?” She looked at him, her blue eyes wide and hopeful. He nodded, his voice suddenly gone. “Cool! I’m gonna put in my Auntie’s number so you can ask her if you can come over to play anytime you want. We normally go over to the bakery after school, so you can come on over there. Maybe Auntie can teach you how she makes her lemon bars!”

Barry smiled as Lup put in her Auntie’s number, her eyes sparkling over the numbers. She handed it back to him carefully. 

“Tell me what Mama Bluejeans says, okay?” She smiled so wide that Barry’s heart ached. He nodded and smiled back. Lup took his hand and they went to class.

XxX

Auntie wasn’t even in the ground yet when the man came over and started to talk to Lup and Taako as if they were babies. He kept going on and on about how they were going to be placed somewhere nice and where they were understood and all that crap. Lup didn’t like it. Sure, she appreciated the man who was trying to help her and Taako, she just didn’t like how he was going about it. Taako hated the man even more, but Taako openly expressed it every time he was over, going so far as to walk to their room and not come back until he left. 

It was just after Lup’s coming out party, Auntie had fallen down with a sickness, making both she and Taako worried. Auntie had assured them it was because of all the magic she spent on making Lup more herself, and that she’ll bounce back quickly. She was old, this was normal. 

Except, it wasn’t normal. Auntie didn’t bounce back and was sent to the hospital right before Candlenights. Still, Lup carried out hope that Auntie would be okay and that they would carry on as before. Auntie had told Lup of all the things she still wanted to do with her and Taako, like take them to an amusement park with a friend of their choice. She had told Barry this, and of course he agreed to it quickly. 

So, Lup had that hope when she visited Auntie in the hospital after her dance class one brisk afternoon. She had wanted to tell her what she learned in class and how quickly she was excelling in it. How her teacher wanted to move her up to the bigger kids class. Except, when Lup got there, there was a sheet over Auntie’s face, and the nurse on duty had told her that her Auntie was gone. 

Lup didn’t know how to process it at first, her hearing went to static as the nurse gave her a hug and told her she could stay there until their Social Worker got there with her brother. She didn’t know how to process it when the Social Worker got there and started to talk to the nurse, Taako immediately going to Lup’s side and taking her hand. 

She still didn’t know how to process it while she was at the funeral, wearing a black knee length dress, tights, and shoes, with a black ribbon to finish the look. She really didn’t know how to process it when she caught sight of her parents, paces away from them, a look of mock sadness painting their faces. 

In fact, she only fully processed it after the funeral when the Social Worker came up to them and said that he found a perfect foster family for them, but they would have to transfer schools. 

Transfer schools...that would mean...that would mean leaving Barry behind and possibly never seeing him again. That couldn’t happen, Barry was her best friend after her brother, she couldn’t leave him behind with no warning whatsoever. It wasn’t like she had a Stone of Farspeech either, how was she supposed to tell him?

“I don’t want to go,” came her voice. It surprised her, there was no emotion behind it, just there and simple. She didn’t like this person, this emotionless, unfeeling person that she could feel herself becoming. 

“Lup, there’s no one else in your family willing to take you two in. This family will understand and treat you well.” The social worker put on that tone of voice that always made Lup’s skin crawl. It was a voice that her parents used on her, slowing everything down and making her feel like she was lesser than them. Making her feel like she was stupid and didn’t understand.

“I don’t care. I don’t want to go,” she was stubborn, she knew this, it made her parents angry when she lived with them and she wouldn’t back down. She was too wild for them, too much of a free spirit, they left them because they couldn’t handle her and Taako.

Taako nodded in agreement with her. Ever since he found out Auntie had passed, he had sworn not to speak. It made the adults angry and frustrated. It made Lup and Taako smile smugly. They felt in control then. Besides, Lup could speak for both of them, she was loud enough. 

The social worker sighed in frustration, his head hanging for a moment, his fingers drumming on his knees. Finally he let up and looked at them. 

“You’ll like it there. They have two other foster children that you two will get along with.” He promised, Lup could see the sweat starting to drip down his balding head. 

“Do they have Barry?” 

“Who?”

“Barry, our best friend. Do they have Barry?” She was challenging him, and she could see that he was nervous.

“No, they don’t have Barry?”

“Then we’re not going.” There was a weight in her voice, and she knew she had the social worker beat. Even if he did force them to go, he couldn’t force them to not run away. 

“Look, you two are going to be eleven in a few months, do you really think that you should be behaving like this? What would your Auntie say?” He was really trying that trick on them. Lup didn’t mind, she expected to take this route when he was hanging on desperately for control.

“Auntie would be glad we were standing our ground,” Lup smoothed her black dress down. It was quite pretty, just too upsetting for the occasion for why it was worn. She could feel her hands heat up, she was growing tired of this man trying to guilt trip her into going somewhere she didn’t want to go. If the place didn’t have Barry Bluejeans and Mama Bluejeans then Lup wouldn’t be going. She felt her pointer finger erupt with a flame and she quickly smothered it on the dress. Luckily for her, it wouldn’t be ruined, Auntie had always made all her clothes with fire proof material. 

The social worker once again sighed that Lup wondered if being an adult was just about sighing. It sure seemed like it. It was boring. Why become an adult and sigh all the time when you could remain a kid forever? 

“Look, this isn’t about what you two want to do or not, you’re going and that’s the final say on the matter. Pack your bags, you’re leaving by the end of the week.” The social worker instructed, Lup was about to protest, but he stood up and left. Lup’s blood was boiling, but she took a deep breath and calmed herself down. There would be no use on wasting a fireball on the man. 

Taako tugged on her sleeve and she looked to him. He seemed more tired than usual and Lup immediately understood. To run away would be easy, but it would also hurt them both. They didn’t like this, they both didn’t want to leave Barry behind, but they also knew they couldn’t go against adults no matter how hard they tried. The good news in all of this, was before Auntie got too sick, she had changed Lup’s birth certificate, so the old her was destroyed permanently, never to be seen again. 

She also knew that if she left, then the new school would never know about who she was before, and nor would the teachers. She could use the bathroom she wished to without anyone raising a problem about it. 

Even with that in mind, she didn’t want to leave Barry. He wasn’t necessarily like a brother to Lup, it was weird. She didn’t know how to explain it, but she knew that her relationship with Barry was very different than the relationship she has with Taako. She couldn’t really place her finger on it, but she knew it was there.

With that, Lup stood up and left the room, the social worker was up against a wall, his head in his hands. Lup felt guilty for being so mean to him, it wasn’t his fault that this was happening to them, he was just trying to do his job. She walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up, looking puzzled.

“Yes, Lup?” He asked. Lup took a deep breath, this wasn’t going to be easy, but she couldn’t just leave. 

“Can I borrow your Stone of Farspeech?” She asked, her tone softer. She was starting to feel the gravity of everything, her mind was slowly starting to catch up with everything that’s been happening. 

The social worker for his part, didn’t ask any questions, and gave her his Stone. She thanked him and walked away with it. He didn’t call out to her, for some reason he trusted her. Lup dialed the number she knew by heart by now, a number that made her stomach flutter with happiness every time she dialed it.

She knew that he wouldn’t pick up, he had told her he was spending time out of town for Candlenights this year, something about visiting his dad’s side of the family. They lived in the middle of nowhere, so there wasn’t a lot of service. Still, she had to tell him. 

_ “Hi, you’ve reached Barry, sorry that I’ve missed you, please leave a message! Hey, will you two stop laughing? Come on, guys!”  _ Even his little message with her and Taako teasing him about how grown-up he sounded did little to cheer her up. She took a deep breath as she heard the tell tale beep.

“Hey, Barry...it’s me, Lup. Me and Taako won’t be at school anymore. Our Auntie...our Auntie died a-and we have to go to a new school a-and-” A sob broke out of her. It was finally processing. Her Auntie was dead and there was nothing she could do to get her back. The only family member outside her brother to fully understand her and treat her kindly was never coming back. They wouldn’t be going to the bakery after school, or learning everything that Auntie knew. They would never go to the amusement park with her. She was gone, and she wasn’t coming back.

She didn’t even say goodbye, the social worker had probably heard her crying and came over. He scooped her up gently and cradled her as she cried. She sobbed into his shirt, her lungs hurting from the crying, but she didn’t care. It suddenly felt real.

The social worker took his Stone back and ended the call. Barry was going to get a message of her crying. She was going to worry him, and she didn’t know how she would ever contact him again. She suddenly wanted him right here comforting her instead of the social worker. He’d know what to do, he always did. 

By the weekend, Lup and Taako were all packed up and ready to go. Barry had still not called back, but Lup knew that he wouldn’t. He probably didn’t even get the call with how service was up there. He won’t know what happened to them, they’re just going to be gone. Lup had packed all the dresses that Auntie had made for her over the course of her and Taako’s stay, all of them important and precious to her. The social worker had promised that she would still have her dance lessons at the same place which cheered Lup up slightly. They wouldn’t be too far.

By afternoon on Saturday, the social worker had them all packed up in the back of the car. Lup was holding a stuffed cat Auntie had given her when she first met them. She clutched it tightly to herself, her stomach a pit of nervousness. She felt Taako’s hand take hold of hers, and she clung to it like a lifeline. 

They passed by so many things, all of which was unfamiliar to Lup, which just made her stomach flip even more. She’s never left the little corner she called home. Suddenly, nothing was familiar to her, and she really felt the gravity of everything. Even though she knew she was going to the same dance studio, she really wouldn’t be going to the same elementary school. Barry was now on his own, and even though he was plenty capable, she still worried for him. 

Even with all of her nervousness, the week before finally caught up to her, she didn’t realize it until she was woken up by the social worker. She was still clutching onto the stuffed cat and her brother’s hand, which relaxed her, but she was now in an unfamiliar place. There was a small two-story house covered in ivy and other various plants that Lup couldn’t identify. The house was colored in a chipped light yellow, making the house look old. Still, the various yard ornaments of toys that littered the yard and a basketball hoop comforted Lup. It seemed lived in and homey. 

Lup dragged Taako out of the car and settled her Mary Janes on the overgrown green grass. It tickled her shins and threatened to make a hole in her stockings. 

The door creaked open, and a large kid, probably in the seventh grade, came barreling out of the house. His face broke into a smile.

“Merle, the new kids are here!” His voice was booming, and she felt Taako shift behind her slightly. The kid came running over, his mop of red-brown hair hitting his already sweaty forehead. “Hi, I’m Magnus and I’m ten!” 

Lup looked at him, a little shocked that he was around the same age as them. He was so much bigger than the both of them, but she just assumed he was a fast grower like Barry. Thinking about Barry suddenly made her upset. She missed Barry more than anything, she just wanted to see him. 

Another kid came out of the house, a girl this time with dark skin. She held back slightly, looking at the two of them with curious yet cautious eyes. Magnus followed Lup’s eyes and waved the girl over. The girl, however, hung back.

“That’s Lucretia. Don’t take it personally, she’s just shy.” Magnus explained, a smile forming on his face. “Come on, I’ll take you to see Merle, that’s our foster dad, by the way!”

Lup felt Taako grip her hand even tighter. This was new for them. They were typically the only kids when they went from family member to family member. The ones with kids didn’t typically want to bring in new ones. Lup squeezed her brother’s hand tighter as they made their trek to the house, their social worker already inside to greet their new foster father.

Magnus chatted on excitedly about everything, even talking to them about the school that they were going to. It did little to comfort either of the twins, Barry wouldn’t be there, what was the point of liking a school? They were only finishing the year off there, and then they would be off to middle school. 

Meanwhile, Lucretia hung behind them, watching the two of them with quiet eyes. Lup knew what she was doing. She was appraising them, seeing what they were all about. It made her feel pried open. Even so, Lup was just a little bit excited to get to know another girl. 

“Taako, Lup, this is your new foster parent, Merle.” The social worker said, making way for a dwarven man that definitely looked like he was a little bit high. Lup really didn’t know how to react to this, she turned to her brother who had the same dumbfounded expression on his face. They’ve never had a foster parent who was openly high before? The only reason why they knew what it looked like was because Lup and Taako had watched a movie on Fantasy Netflix about it behind their Auntie’s back. This man was checking off all the signs of being high.

“Are you stoned?” Lup asked, and she knew from his reaction and everyone else's that this place wasn’t going to be so bad. Until Merle had told them that they were in separate rooms. They had hollered and screamed so much that he finally gave him and gave them the spare room to share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, thank you all once again for all the kudos and comments! I really appreciate it! Y'all are just so kind, and I'm an emotional mess 99% of the time, so thank you all for taking the time out and reading this little love child of mine. See y'all next Tuesday!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seventh grade

Finding a place to chill out before first morning bell would be fanfreakingtastic. Except all the doors were still locked and the librarian told her she wasn’t allowed to permit her early access anymore. It sucked and she had a math test today. 

Really, she needed time to cool off. She left home early today because of the conversation she had with Merle just the previous night. He was going on and on about puberty and what to expect, and how it was okay to ask him to get her  _ “you know...supplies,”  _ had told her he was already buying some for Lucretia. She had stopped him right there. 

“You won’t have to worry about all that with me,” she had told him, ready to get out of this conversation. She needed to get some studying done, this math wasn’t going to learn itself.

“I know you and your brother like to be independent, but it’s fine to ask ol’ Merle for some help. I know it can be scary getting it for the first time-”

“No, really Merle, you won’t have to worry about it. The whole period thing? That ain’t me, chief.” She was starting to get uncomfortable with the conversation. Her Auntie had talked to her about potentially having her inner works match up with the rest of her, but Auntie said she didn’t know that spell since she had transitioned later in life. By that point in Auntie’s life, she didn’t really see the point in getting the inner workings. 

“Oh?” Merle questioned, but he didn’t press on it. She was glad for that. Still, she was worried that Merle was going to talk to her about it this morning over breakfast, so she dodged that bullet by leaving through her window.

She didn’t even know if she wanted a period. From what the girls said in her class, it sounded awful. Even walking past Lucretia’s room during that time made Lup want to steer clear of it all together. Still, there was that part of her that wanted to experience it. She was afraid to even bring it up to Taako because she was still unsure if she even wanted to go through with the spell. The last time they had worked through her transition, someone died, and even though Lup knew it was foolish to blame her Auntie’s death on herself, she still felt responsible.

So, instead of opening those cans of worms, Lup was trying to open up some doors just so she could be at peace with her thoughts. She didn’t have to decide right away, she knew that, besides it might be better to spend her adolescence period free. She would be able to do all the things she enjoyed doing, like swimming without fear. Besides, it would ease her mind knowing that there was no way she could become pregnant unless she wanted to. She’s seen enough of  _ Fantasy 16 and Pregnant _ to know that that wasn’t it chief. 

She finally found a forgotten unlocked door in the science building, and Lup nearly cheered with relief. She could be alone at last and think things over and maybe even study for this grueling math test. She knew that Taako was trying to get out of it by playing sick, dingus.

She threw open the door and didn’t even bother with the lights. If the teacher who found her saw her, she would have a good excuse made up. She was about to plop herself in a chair when she heard a hiss of pain and then a good natured laugh. Her head snapped to the back of the science room. She knew that laugh, she spent hours trying to hear that laugh. She looked to the back, her eyes setting on the other person in the room with her. Their back was to her, but she knew just by the back of their head who they were. 

“Barry?” She asked in the too quiet room. The boy sitting at the table jumped and turned around, goggles over his eyes. It took a moment for him to register her, but when he did, he jumped up so fast, he knocked over the project he was working on. 

“L-Lup! What are you doing here?” He stuttered, he took off his goggles clumsily and set them on the table. Lup gave him a small smile and crossed her arms, she could’ve sworn she saw the dustings of pink on his face.

“I could ask the same of you. I didn’t know you go to this school, why didn’t you tell me?” She asked as if she hadn’t spoken to him in over a year. Once she left after Auntie died, she had no means to reach him. She didn’t have a Stone for a while, and when she did, Merle’s place barely had any service to even call someone.

She wanted so badly to hug him, to rush over and apologize to him for disappearing. She had so badly wanted to talk to him, tell him about all the things she was going through, tell him about Magnus, Lucretia, and even Merle. She just wanted to hear her best guy friend’s voice again. She didn’t feel like it was right though. She left the second half of fifth grade, and then didn’t even try to contact him all of sixth grade year, at least to him that’s how it would appear.

“I-uh-I transferred here late. Probably around 2 weeks ago now? Ma liked the way the science program was being run here better since it’s you know, a steam school.” He explained, adjusting his glasses slightly. The term for Barry’s mom caught her off guard a bit. She didn’t know why, and it was silly of her to even react in a way. Still, it was new, and it made her realize just how much she missed in Barry’s life in such a short time period. 

“Oh, how is Mama Bluejeans? It’s been awhile since I saw her.” She suddenly couldn’t look Barry in the eyes anymore, her shoes suddenly far more interesting. They were regular ballet flats, nothing really that interesting. She adjusted her dance bag. She had ballet after school today and she would have to make sure to stretch well on her way there because she’s going to be late knowing Merle. 

Barry laughed and she couldn’t help it, her heart fluttered at the sound of it. It was her turn to blush, and she hoped it was dark enough on her side of the room for him not to see it. She was suddenly nervous. Did he even go by Barry anymore? It would make sense if he didn’t since he was no longer calling his mom Mama. Did he think that Barry was too childish just like saying Mama? Was he going by Sildar now?

“She’s been good, been spending a lot of time at the college recently since a lot of her students are now panicking over their first test.” He explained. Lup nodded, still not making eye contact with him. She knew she was making this awkward, it was just Barry. Though, so much has changed since then and she no longer knew where she fell. Maybe he had a new best friend.

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out, finally making eye contact with him again. He looked taken aback, like he didn’t know what she was talking about. 

“Sorry for what?” He asked, quirking an eyebrow. Lup nearly walked over there and punched him, how could he not know what she was apologizing for? Wasn’t it obvious?

“For leaving! Gods, Barry, isn’t it obvious?” She knew she sounded whiny and it annoyed her. She wasn’t trying to sound whiny and it made her angry that it was coming out like that. Barry just gave her a blank stare which made her even angrier for some reason.

“It wasn’t your fault, though?” It came off as a question, Lup heard it and she didn’t know why but it felt like something was lifted from her shoulders. Hearing Barry question why she would even be apologizing for something she couldn’t control made her feel better. 

“So...you don’t hate me for leaving?” She asked, her anger simmering down, the heat escaping her hands. Instead, she just felt stupid for getting so angry in the first place. Barry let out such a sudden laugh that Lup was caught off guard. 

“Hate you? Gods, Lup, I could never hate you.” He assured while laughing. Lup beamed at him, feeling much lighter than before. Suddenly, she forgot all about her insecurities and skipped over to him, dropping her dance bag in the process.

She gave him the biggest hug she had ever given someone. She’s missed him so much, missed his hugs and laugh. Missed the way his eyes looked when he was concentrating on something important, missed the way his glasses slid down his nose. Gods, she’s just missed him in general. She pulled away from him, ignoring how fast her heart was beating and how her stomach was doing somersaults. Her eyes caught on his project.

“Whatcha working on?” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Her hair was now down to the small of her back, and the other girls in school often envied it for how thick and glossy it was. She was proud of her hair, and she wouldn’t change it for anything else, still it made practicing fire magic a bit of a pain. 

Barry turned, clearing his throat for some reason and looked back at his project. 

“I’m trying to fix this robot. It’s for my class, and the first person who fixes their robot gets a reward. I just got it 2 weeks ago and everyone else has had theirs since the second week of school. I’m a little behind so I’m really trying to catch up.” He explained, adjusting his glasses some more. “The thing is, this little guy has a short somewhere, and I’ve been trying to figure out where for three days now. What’s even worse is that Lucas Miller keeps saying that he’s almost done with his, and I don’t know, he just really annoys me.”

Barry sat down again and Lup took a seat next to him. He put his goggles back on and set back to work on his robot, only to get zapped again. He hissed in pain, but started to laugh again. Lup joined in with him, suddenly being at ease.

“Yeah, I heard that Lucas sucks. Always trying to show off and brag about how his Mom is a scientist or something.” She was sneaking looks to Barry, watching as his eyebrows squished together in his concentration. Puberty had hit Barry too, she noticed. He was taller now, and his jawline was a bit sharper too. His eyebrows had gotten bushier over the years, and his hands were starting to get bigger as well. It alarmed Lup a bit, she had seen the changes in Taako, but his was so much more subtle than Barry’s, maybe because she’s been around Taako and hadn’t noticed. With Barry though, she had missed out on nearly two years of growth. Last she saw of him, he was still a pudgy fifth grader, and while he was still pudgy now, it suited him. 

Lup wondered if Barry saw any changes in her. Luckily for her, she had transitioned before male puberty could dig its dirty claws into her. She wondered if Barry thought she looked softer, maybe thought her hair was shinier than before. Maybe he could see the fullness in her cheeks more.

Another zap and another laugh brought Lup out of her thoughts. Suddenly, something was different. Something was off, and she didn’t know why. She was looking at Barry, and then she was  _ looking _ at Barry. Her stomach flipped again, and her heart began to race, and she didn’t even notice that Barry was talking to her because she was too focused looking at his mouth.

“What?” Gods, he was probably going to think she sounded so dumb. He was probably not going to be her friend anymore because of how dumb she is. 

“I asked if you were still dancing?” He was looking at her with so much...something that she couldn’t place and it was bugging her. Another change that had happened when they were apart, she could no longer read Barry’s facial expressions. 

“Yeah, I’m still dancing. My teacher is really liking how fast I’ve been able to progress through the years. She’s talking about putting me on pointe next year if my ankles look good enough.” She was looking at anywhere but Barry, feeling too awkward to look at him in the eyes. “If not, then it’s fine, there’s always the next year, and I’d rather be safe then not be able to dance again.” She was over explaining, she knew that, and it was making her angry and even more awkward. Barry didn’t need to know all the specifics.

“That’s really cool! I’m glad you’re still dancing.” He said. Oh no, it was getting awkward, the conversation was turning bad, this was where their whole friendship would go down hill. 

“Yeah, me too.” She really wasn’t doing anything to help out this convo. She finally looked at Barry and realized he was still looking at her. Her cheeks started to heat up as she looked at him, noticing something. His eyes, his brown eyes that reminded her of summer and warm blankets. The eyes that she felt safe in, the eyes that she confided in and wiped tears from. His eyes, his eyes were the same. With all the change going on in the world, his eyes stayed consistent, full of familiarity and kindness. 

Her stomach did a final flip, and her heart felt like it missed a beat and–oh.  _ Oh no. _ No, this couldn’t be, he was her best friend, and, and–

“Hey, what are you two doing in here?” Came a voice. Lup’s bubble was broken as she looked to the door where the teacher who owned this room stood in the doorway, the lights now fully on. 

“I was working on my robot, ma’am,” Barry piped, gingerly lifting his robot up. The teacher tutted as she walked in, arms full of all her lesson plans and lunch.

“You’re supposed to be working on your robots at home, Mr Hallwinter.” The teacher chided, dumping her stuff on her desk. Barry nodded. 

“I know, I was just getting in some extra time since I’m new.” He explained, now carefully packing up his robot. The teacher nodded and turned to her. 

“And what about you Miss…?”

“It’s Lup,” 

“Oh, Lup! Your teacher Ms Lawson was talking to me about you. She says you have an affinity for science.” The teacher immediately perked up, suddenly forgetting that they snuck into her room with no supervision. 

“Yeah, it’s really cool,” Lup shrugged, grabbing her dance bag and slinging it over her shoulder. 

“That’s great! I hope to see you in my class next year, and maybe if Mr Hallwinter over here gives a good word to my robotics class, then maybe in there as well?” 

Lup nodded, walking back over to the table she was originally at and picking up her school bag. 

“Yeah, especially if Bluejeans gives me his fixed up robot.” She joked, earning a laugh from the teacher. 

They said their goodbyes and Barry apologized once again for breaking into the classroom. She waved them off just as the first bell rang. 

“So...Mr Hallwinter,” Lup started, Barry rolled his eyes. 

“Oh please, you’ve known my real name since we were in kindergarten, don’t act so surprised.” He replied good-naturedly, shifting his robot box gently between his hands. This made Lup hesitant suddenly, the years suddenly very apparent. 

“So...are you going by Sildar now or something? Because if you don’t want to go by Barry, I totally understand–”

“Oh gods no, Sildar never suited me anyway. Barry though...it always had a nice ring to it.” He averted his eyes so quickly that Lup couldn’t see the expression they were making. She tilted her head to the side and smiled. 

“I’m glad you’re still my Barry then,” she chirped, twirling around a little bit, her skirt fluttering with her. She caught Barry smiling and nodding. 

“Yeah, I’m glad I’m still...that.” He agreed just as the bell to call for homeroom called out. Lup gave him one last smile, and caught him smiling at her as well. Her stomach once again flipped and her heart sped up at the sight of it. She turned away so quickly and went off to her homeroom. That was it. She knew it. There was no denying it anymore. She was in love with Barry J Bluejeans, and there was nothing more to it. Her mind was racing, and she really now knew that she was going to fail this math test because her mind just kept going back to Barry. She would mind later; right now, she revelled in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for kudosing, commenting, and bookmarking this devil child. I really do appreciate you all so much, and I'm in a constant state of tears by all of your kind words. If you wanna follow me on Tumblr, it's MoonlightxStars. Come chat with me on there, I'd love to get to know all of you! See y'all next Tuesday!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eighth and ninth grade

The orchestra room was bustling with activity that day. Strings were played on rather roughly, causing Lup’s ears to hurt for them. The sixth grade class really knew how to respect their instruments, that was for sure. The orchestra director had asked her to come in and help the beginner class with learning their scales and how to actually hold their violins. Lup could tell that it was going to be a long class period of doing everything at least ten times, but hey, they all started from somewhere, and Lup was no exception.

She had picked up the violin on a whim after being placed in orchestra on accident, Lup had just stuck with it. The orchestra director had commended her on her natural talent with the instrument, something that she wished to improve upon. Lup didn’t half ass anything even though some may think she did, once she was given a challenge, she was going to see it through until she mastered it. Even then, she would keep working on it, and violin was a challenge that she planned to keep working on. 

Of course she had other things she was working on, like dance. Now that she was excited for. Her dance teacher had recently cleared her to start working on pointe, and in the next couple of dance lessons, she was going to start learning. She had been so excited that she told basically everyone in her family, Lucretia being the most outspoken about how excited she was for her. That had surprised her, Lucretia was normally so quiet and withdrawn, that when Lup was talking about how she was going on pointe it had given her whiplash over how Lucretia was basically bouncing with energy over it. Maybe it was natural for Lucretia to be so excited, they were foster sisters after all, and had known each other for some time now. It was still very pleasant to see Lucretia react in such a way that wasn’t typically like herself.

Now though, she had to be in the moment of where she was. The beginner orchestra class. With the Fall concert coming up, the orchestra director was getting antsy with how some of the students were just not getting how to actually hold their violin. The whole front row looked absolutely wrecked with kids obviously goofing off by having the neck of the violin situated on their shoulders. It gave Lup an honest headache. The poor orchestra director, she did so much, and these little sixth graders just made sure her life was a living hell. 

She went up to the front row, hands on her hips as she stared down a couple of students who were goofing off the most. One of them was trying to balance their bow in between their mouth and nose, but kept failing miserably as it clanked onto the metal stand. Another kid was on their Stone, texting away with no care in the world. They seemed like the type of kid whose parents forced them to be here for at least the first year, and if they didn’t like it after that, then they could leave. It wasn’t like Lup hated those sort of kids, they happened a lot, it was just she hated the kids that were here for that reason and then not care about it at all.

Another kid was trying to balance their violin on their head, and Lup was starting to stress over it. The school violins were already beat up as is, and if this punk was going to beat them up even more, he had another thing coming. The fourth kid in the line up though, he was actually doing something. His posture was straight, his violin actually held as it should be, and his bow poised precisely on the strings. He wasn’t pressing down too hard to earn the nails on chalkboard sound that beginner violinists were known for, and he was actually practicing. Lup liked him the most.

The other three, though, she was going to have to knock some sense into them. She stood over the three students, eyes narrowed down and eyebrows raised, but they didn’t seem to care. That annoyed her. They ignored her. No one can ignore her. Were sixths graders just getting more and more rude with each passing year or something?

“Ehem,” the boy trying to balance the bow on his nose startled, dropping the bow once again, making Lup cringe. The other boy who was balancing the violin on his head immediately took it off and placed it roughly on his lap, while the girl who was on her Stone just kept typing away like nothing happened. Lup’s patience was running thin, she hated it when people treated others with such blatant disrespect like this. Sure, she could be disrespectful, but it was never to the point of ignoring someone. That was just plain rude.

Lup snatched the stand that was holding the girl’s Stone away from her and put it to her side.

“Hey!” The girl whined, she looked up at Lup, eyes widening as she realized who it was trying to get her attention. Lup had a reputation, especially amongst the orchestra kids. She was good at what she did and the underclassman feared her because of it. 

“Now that I got your attention, the orchestra teacher pulled me out of class to help you goofers out. Let’s start with the basics since apparently we’re lacking there.” Lup smiled sweetly at them, voice so thickly honeyed that it made even her feel grossed out. Whatever, it got their attention since now they were sitting up straight with their violins actually perched on their laps as they should be. Lup continued to smile at them as she took out her own violin. It was school owned so it didn’t produce the best sound, but hey, it was either a better violin or pointe shoes, and pointe shoes outweighed the violin. As much as she loved playing, ballet was her first love and she’s worked so hard to get to where she was with it.

She gently took her bow out, putting some rosin on it before taking out her violin. She checked the tune on her strings, adjusting where it needed before standing up again and looking at the three students in front of her.

“Alright, who wants to learn how to properly hold their instruments?”

“We already know how to do that, the teacher taught us like the second day of school,” the girl had gotten over her fright of Lup and was already challenging her. Pft, Lup has dealt with worse, she can definitely play with this sixth graders antics.

“Did she now?” Lup’s eyes glinted, she caught the fear in the sixth grader’s hazel eyes and saw how she swallowed thickly. She was just acting tough like all sixth graders did in order to get an upper hand and not seem like a kid. That really wasn’t going to work with Lup. “If she taught you already, then why aren’t you applying it to your playing?”

The sixth grade girl for her part didn’t back down. She puffed out her chest and stared Lup down. She really was trying this whole tough girl act wasn’t she?

“Because the violin sucks. I don’t see why  _ I _ have to play it well. I’m not going to be like a violinist or whatever in the future.” This was exactly the type of person that Lup really hated. The  _ ‘I think I’m better than everyone else _ ’ attitude was really not cute and the only person who knew how to pull it off without looking like a complete ass was her brother. Of course she could just be biased, but oh well.

“Then leave.” Lup stated it so simply that the girl looked at her like a deer in headlights. “Look, if you’re going to act like a total brat about this whole thing, then go. No one wants this whole queen bee attitude going on. That ain’t cute.”

“You’re kicking me out?”

“I have no regulation on that, but if you don’t want to be here, then don’t trouble yourself anymore. However, if you want to drop this  _ “I’m better than you so I don’t have to do this”  _ attitude you have going on, then you can stay.” Lup shrugged her shoulders, she really wasn’t going to trouble herself with this girl if she didn’t have to. The girl for her part sputtered at her, hazel eyes wide like Lup had some nerve to do this to her. 

“I’m going to tell the principal that you were bullying me.” 

“Go ahead,” Lup smirked at her, eyes levelling with her. “But know this, me and the principal go way back so she’s really not going to buy that I was bullying you. It honestly would be a waste of time. Besides, I could just say you were on your Stone during school hours. How would that go for you, babe?”

The girl pursed her lips together, thinking about something before grabbing her violin case and violently shoving her violin in the case. It made Lup furious with how much she was manhandling the poor thing, it was why all the school violins sucked in the first place. The girl for her part, put the poor instrument away and walked off with it to the back of the room, taking her Stone from the stand Lup had next to her. 

Lup nodded at this and looked to the other two who were still perched upright. 

“Are you two going to be any trouble for me?”

The two boys shook their heads, eyes wide with fear. Lup smiled saccharinely at the two of them.

“Perfect, so let’s start with the basics. This is how you hold a violin, notice how it’s not on my head.”

Towards the end of the class period, the two boys were actually getting the hang of it. Turns out, they were really just influenced by the girl, trying to impress her with the different ways they can hold their instrument inappropriately. Maybe there was some hope for these two after all. With around twenty minutes to end of class, someone walked in. No, not just someone,  _ Barry _ walked in. Her stomach flipped at seeing him and she could already feel her face heating up.

She hadn’t told anyone about her feelings for him yet, not even Taako. It didn’t feel right, and she feared that once she told someone, the feelings would just dissipate as if they never even happened. She’s almost told Lucretia during one of their girl nights, but decided against it because it was all just too much. She didn’t think Lucretia would make fun of her like Taako might, but saying out loud that she was in love with Barry Bluejeans was just...weird.

Even worse, the feelings that she had bottled up for him sort of started getting in the way of their friendship. She was now hyper aware of every little thing that she did around him. How often she touched his arm or tousled his hair. Hell, even when she was holding his hand like they used to as kids had a whole new meaning to her now. She really hoped he hadn’t noticed the sudden shift in their relationship, with her now being more awkward around him. Did he notice how affectionate she was with everyone else now? Did he feel left out? Gods she was such a nerd when it came to things like this. 

“Barry!” She was going to push down her awkwardness, push away the feelings that were threatening to burst out any second now. They were friends first and foremost, feelings be damned. These were just hormones, nothing more. After puberty, everything was going to calm down and she and Barry will be how they were used to. Best friends and that’s it. “What are you doing here?”

Barry looked at her, brown eyes wide. Gods, she loved his eyes, she could just stare at them all day. She could feel her heart start to speed up as he began to smile upon seeing her, and her hands began to get sweaty. Gross. She wiped her hands on her skirt and returned the smile.

“I’m just getting in some extra practice for the piano recital,” his voice was so warm and comforting that she felt like she was in a warm blanket. She really had it bad and she really needed to tell someone that wasn’t Barry about these feelings. If it came out that he didn’t like her back and she ruined their whole friendship, she would never forgive herself.

“Oh, lit,” she smiled, putting an arm around his shoulder and squeezing him in a side hug. “When is that? I need to clear my schedule so I can go.”

“You really don’t have to,” he reciprocated the hug just as enthusiastically and began to walk in step with one another on their way to the practice rooms.

“Nonsense, you’re my best friend and I aim to support my friends,” she really hoped he wouldn’t be able to hear how loud her heart was beating and how red she’s gotten. She was such a nerd about this whole thing, why was she acting like a straight up fool?

“I mean, it’s not going to be any good.”

“Are you playing?”

“Well, yeah–”

“Then it’s gonna be plenty good for at least six minutes. Send me those deets, Barold, I’m going and dragging the gang with me.” Lup smirked at him causing him to smirk back at her. Barry had met everyone last year after they had reunited and Lup found out how in love with him she was. Lucretia and Magnus had taken to Barry like moths to fire, immediately including him in all of their activities. Merle had even said that he liked Barry more than them since he didn’t sass him like everyone else. That was until Barry did sass him in the most comical way, making Merle grumble about how kids these days are just so mean. 

Lup hip checked him as they got to the practice room door, to which Barry reciprocated but more gently.

“I’ll let you get to practicing,” she smiled at him, unraveling her arm from his neck and patting him on the cheek affectionately. Did that look too weird? Was that too obvious? Why was she freaking out right now?

“You’re not going to listen?”

“Nah, I want it to be a surprise,” she winked at him and saw his face go slightly red. She regretted it immediately and wanted to shield her face from the embarrassment of it all. Why was she so weird around him now? Everything that she used to do was now weird and she felt it. Fantasy Jesus Christ, was he uncomfortable with her now? 

She walked away from the practice rooms to give herself and Barry some space. Everything was just so awkward now and she was the one making it that way. Gods, she was so ugh sometimes. She hated that she felt this way, she was normally so confident in everything that she did, and once upon a time she was confident in her friendship with Barry. But now, with her feelings all messed up and getting in the way, she was reduced to an awkward mess who forgot which way was left and right anytime he was around. 

She went back to her spot to start packing up her belongings. It was Friday so she was going to bring home her violin for the weekend. Luckily for her, she didn’t have any ballet class this weekend, so she can practice her instrument over the weekend, maybe she can stretch while doing so. She was so lost in thought that she didn’t hear someone come up next to her.

“Are you guys like...dating?” A bored voice asked. Lup whipped her head to the voice, a little stunned that it was the only good violinist in the entire beginner orchestra. Lup prayed to whatever god that her face wasn’t as red as it felt. 

“No, we’re just friends.” She hoped she sounded convincing enough, but with the way her voice warbled just slightly she doubted that she did. The sixth grader just nodded, setting his violin ever so gently into its case. 

“Oh, so the rumors were wrong. Should’ve known.”

“What rumors?” She felt the panic rising. Did literally everyone know about her giant crush on Barry? Did the rumor circle back to Barry? Oh no, he was going to think she was weird and then they wouldn’t be friends anymore. 

“Just that the whole of sixth grade thinks you two are like going out. Something like that. I think it’s just because you two spend a lot of time together or something,” the kid droned. His voice lacked any rhythm and remained so monotone that Lup had to really work on paying attention to him and not just tuning him out. It was frustrating. 

“Well, they’re wrong. Just because we spend a lot of time together means nothing.” Maybe she sounded too defensive, whatever. Even though she had a giant crush as big as Jupiter on Barry, it didn’t mean they were dating. Boys and girls could be friends without them dating.

The kid just shrugged, locking the case of the violin softly to not get any of the annoying clanking. Lup could appreciate that in a person.

“You’re the only one to take this class seriously,” she desperately wanted to change the subject and leave her feelings for Barry into the void. Huh, if only it were that easy and they could just go back to being friends with nothing else underneath. That would make her life so much easier.

“Well yeah, if I want to go to Fantasy Carnegie Hall by the time I’m 20, I have to.” 

“Oh, that’s hella neat, my dude.” Lup actually never gave much thought about what she was going to do about her violin after high school, or even after junior high. Sure she enjoyed playing it and it brought her joy, but she had dreams about being in a ballet company one day. That dream was going to take up the most priority than anything else. Violin for right now, was just a fun hobby that she got to do at school.

“Yeah I guess.” The kid shrugged his shoulders. He seemed to be done with the conversation, making Lup feel only a slight bit out of place which was hella rude. The kid took his violin case and made his way to the private practice rooms. He probably had a pass from the orchestra director to do this with only ten minutes left to spare in the class period. 

Lup guessed that this would be a good time to actually read the chapters her teacher assigned for her to read for language arts. Though...the book was super boring and totally not relevant to today's kids. The only reason as to why it was still given out to kids to read was because it was written by some teenager and apparently that made every teacher go “it’s still relevant!” That’s really not how that worked. Maybe she would enjoy it better if they didn’t have to follow along with the audio book. Perhaps.

Her mind wandered to Barry and it really did piss her off just slightly. It was like she could not not think about him. It was driving her absolutely crazy. She had more of a life than just thinking about Barry and being lovesick over him. She had other friends to think about, hell she had her brother to think about. Still, her hormone filled brain just went right back to Barry and it was super annoying. She really needed to get that under control sooner rather than later.

Clutching her violin case, she thought about what she was going to do when she got home. She had promised Magnus that she would make some lemon bars for him this weekend, so she can probably start on those today. He said that he wanted to give them to someone he was going to see this weekend. Apparently, anything lemon flavored was their favorite. Taako had asked if they liked tasting pledge. Lots of pillows were thrown after that, and Davenport’s favorite lamp was broken. They had to do a quick fix on that before he arrived home.

She also wanted to have another girls night with Lucretia. They tried to have one every Friday just so they can decompress from the week. It honestly depended on their schedule, but this school year they were surprisingly free on most Fridays. She hoped her mask collection was still well stocked, she should check when she got home just in case it wasn’t. She could just ask Davenport to pick her up some more when he went to the grocery store today, he could never say no to her, especially when she gave him the puppy dog eyes. It got him every time.

She began to tap on the handle of her case thinking of all the things she wanted to do. Maybe she could finally take up on Magnus’s offer to play that one game that he’s been raving about for weeks now. He normally knew her taste in video games, so she was sure it was fun. She could probably do that right after school and until maybe Davenport got home with the groceries. Taako wanted to cook dinner with her tonight, so that took precedent. After dinner, she can get started on the lemon bars, and then after that she can just go into the wee hours of morning with Lucretia as they talked about their week.

Yeah, that seemed good. Avoid all talk of Barry to not get flustered and everything will be fine. Things will be fine, and these feelings for him will just dissipate and it will all just be a bad dream and–

“Hey, Lu?” Lup spun around, looking directly at the face of Barry, all of her chanting of not thinking about him suddenly out the window. His face held something much more than what she typically saw, something she couldn’t place. It made her heart beat even louder and her stomach flutter. She could hear the blood in her ears as her body waited in clear anticipation of  _ something. _ What was she expecting? She had no idea. She just knew that Barry’s eyes held something foreign, something she’s never seen before.

“Yeah?” He seemed to hesitate at her response. It was almost like he didn’t know what to say or how to say something. His body was tensing up and she wanted so badly to be in on the secret. Her mind was yelling at him to do something, something she didn’t know about. Apparently it knew more than her. His hands were clenching and unclenching, and he kept averting her gaze. What was it that had him acting this way? “Barry, what’s wrong?”

Barry shook his head suddenly, the look in his eye gone.

“I was just going to ask you if you wanted a ride home today?” He was such a liar, but Lup wasn’t going to press him on it. If he wanted to tell her one day, then fine, but if he didn’t, then that was okay too.

“Sounds great. Do the others know?”

“Yeah, I asked them when I saw them earlier.”

Lup nodded. She barely had any classes with anyone this school year. She and Taako were separated indefinitely because of the little fifth grade fiasco that left their teacher so horrified that she immediately had them both switched out of her class. She shared math with Magnus and geography with Lucretia. She and Barry shared the most classes with science and language arts, but seeming as science was one of their early morning classes and she had skipped language arts today, she guessed he didn’t have time to ask her. 

“Cool, cool.” She nodded, trying to not make this awkward, but her mind was in overdrive. A thought came to mind. “Hey, Bear, you wanna go to the pool with us on Sunday? Taaks said that he needed at least one more pool day before it got too cold out.”

Barry hesitated slightly, shifting from one foot to the other.

“I’d love to, Lup, I really would, but I uh, I have a project due on Monday and I wanted to dedicate all of Sunday to it.” He was lying. She could tell by the way his eyes shifted trying to think of something. Did she make him uncomfortable now? Was she being too awkward now that he no longer felt secure enough to hang out with her. Oh no, these feelings really were messing everything up. 

“Oh, that’s okay. Another time?”   
  


“Yeah, another time.”

They stood in silence for a couple of minutes, the tension so thick someone could come up and cut it with a knife. Maybe she should just tell him, it would be so much easier than just dancing around the fact she’s in love with him. But, if he was acting this weird around her without her even telling him just how she feels, then that would ruin their whole friendship. That was something she could not lose. 

“You wanna stay for dinner?” 

Barry smiled at her and it was honestly like the sun shining on her after gray miserable rain. Her heart soared and she felt weightless.

“That would be nice.”

The bell rang and Lup had to steel herself as she latched onto Barry’s hand just as they always did before feelings complicated her. She could feel her cheeks heating up as she clasped onto Barry’s hand, and for his part, Barry only looked slightly shocked. They got over the awkwardness quickly, though, and walked in sync to the car line, conversation now easier between them.

XxX

Lup was pacing in the shared bedroom between her and Taako. She had been texting Barry all afternoon, grateful that Merle had finally gave them a little something to help with the signal. She didn’t know how to ask him. Should she ask him? Would it be weird if she asked him? Would he know if she asked him? Would he be wounded if she asked him?

So many questions rang through her head as she thought about it. 

“Lulu, you’re going to burn a hole through the floor.” Taako droned, he was sitting with his feet up on the headboard and his head hanging off the end of the bed. His own Stone was in his hand, the screen long gone dark from inactivity. His long blonde hair was pooling on the floor, free from the usual braid that she normally puts in for him.

Two years. It’s been two years since she realized she was in love with Barry. She kept thinking she was going to wake up and it’d be gone, she was like twelve when it all went down, no way to know what love was really like. Even still, Lup knew, and it scared her out of her wits. She hadn’t told anyone, hadn’t wanted to because she was confused about everything. Still, she knew that her brother knew that something has been off with her. She knew that she should confide with someone, but she didn’t know how to word it and she was sort of fearful Taako was going to make fun of her for it. She didn’t know why, but she wanted her thing for Barry to not be mocked on.

It wasn’t helping that she was pacing back and forth trying to figure out how she was going to ask Barry out to homecoming...if she could even screw her head on right about if she was going to ask him. She had been debating this since Barry sent her a text back with just three hearts. That meant something right? Three hearts definitely meant something. It wasn’t just because they’ve been friends since kindergarten and she had just told him she was going to bake his favorite lemon bars. No, it was because he reciprocated her feelings.

And she was spiraling. Her desperation was probably evident on her face, because Taako suddenly sat up and looked at her with tired eyes.

“What’s going on?” He asked, shifting himself to be cross legged. Taako was still not talking frequently, especially around people he didn’t know very well. It had taken him just this year to say something to Merle and that was an accident because the old man had ruined his dinner. He opened up with Lucretia after a year of knowing her, and he was basically talking to Magnus in short spurts after eight months of knowing him. A new record if Lup was keeping track.

Lup pursed her lips together. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Taako, she trusted him more than anything. She was just afraid that she would break a spell once she admitted out loud. Something would break and she was too afraid that it would be her. 

“Lu, come on, you haven’t kept something this closed up since you broke mother’s expensive ass vase. What is it?” Taako pried, and Lup was suddenly not in control of her mouth.

“I’m in love with Barry,” she rushed, her hands immediately flying to her mouth after she said it, eyes wide in fright. There it was. It was out. It was real and she waited. She waited for something to break, waited for her feelings for him to be taken into the void and never be spoken about again. She waited for Taako to start laughing at her, calling her a nerd and throwing a pillow at her. She waited, but it never happened.

“Oh, that’s chill.” Taako replied, turning back to his phone and typing out a quick message. Lup’s mind stalled. Her brother wasn’t making fun of her? He wasn’t running around telling Magnus and Lucretia about Lup’s embarrassing crush. 

“Wait what?” She sat down on his bed and began to poke at his face. He swatted her away, obviously annoyed with her finger being in his space.

“I said “that’s chill,” Lu. How did you want me to react?” He swiped at her finger, swatting it away effectively. 

“I don’t know, but I didn’t expect this.” She was perplexed by his reaction. She was sure she was going to get an over the top rise out of him, but it was surprisingly lackluster. 

“I mean, it’s about time you figured it out.” Taako shrugged, continuing to text whoever was on the other end. 

“What do you mean by that?”

“Like it wasn’t blatantly obvious in orchestra, Lu, and during elementary school.” 

“Was it that obvious?”

“Not to the untrained eye, don’t worry yourself over it.” Taako rolled his eyes at her. Lup socked him with a pillow. He cried out and grabbed the pillow back and hit her with it. They wrestled for a bit, Lup trying to hit Taako in the face with the pillow, while Taako held her back. Finally, Lup fell onto the bed.

“Do you think he knows?” She asked. If it was obvious to the trained eye, then Barry was sure to know. He knew her just as well as Taako. He could be being nice to her about it and too polite to decline her. Gods, that would be the absolute worse. 

“Fuck no, he’s super dense, Lu. I think you’re gucci gucc there.” Taako rolled bonelessly onto the floor, rolling a bit too dramatically on their floor aimlessly. “If you want him to know about how your heart pounds for him, then you’re gonna have to spell it out for him.”

Lup threw a pillow at him which missed and hit their dresser. Some articles on the dresser moved threateningly closer to the ground, but even with their teasing for death, they stayed on. 

“I think that settles it then,” she announced, flinging herself off the bed and starting her stretches before ballet class.

“Settles what?” Taako asked, now up from the ground and rearranging the top of their dresser so that their things wouldn’t topple to their deaths the next time a pillow was misaimed.

“That I’m going to ask Barry to homecoming tomorrow,” she was confident in herself, believed that she could really do this. She stretched out her legs, grabbing the roller that was next to Taako’s bed and rolled out her muscles. Taako snorted at that, deciding that the things were safe enough, and toppled back onto his bed. 

“Yeah right.”

“You don’t think I can do it?”

“Lup, I’ve known you since the womb, I think you’re gonna plan on doing it until you see him and chicken out.” 

“You don’t know that.”

“But I do, baby sister–”

“You’re two minutes older, I don’t think that counts–”

“It does. Anyway, you’re gonna talk yourself out of it because you won’t want anything to change between you two. He’s a good friend, and you’re going to think it might ruin your friendship, and you wouldn’t want that because he’s actually chill to talk to.” Taako explained, biting his nails a bit.

Lup let out a disgruntled noise as she started to get her splits ready, bracing her hands on her thighs to soothe the muscles out a bit more. 

“Do you think Merle will let me get a cat?” Taako asked suddenly. Lup rolled her eyes, thankful for the change in conversation.

“Merle’s allergic to cats.” She reminded him, palms now on the floor. Taako tutted and waved his Stone around.

“Logistics. I found this really chill cat online, though. The owner can’t take care of him anymore, and they’re giving him out for free.” Taako rambled, waving his Stone around even more carelessly than before. “Merle won’t even know he’s here. I’ll keep him in our room, and it’ll be totes chill.”

“I think he will notice when his eyes get all red, babe.”

“Aren’t his eyes red all the time from smoking all that weed?” It was a good question, but completely valid. Lup pondered for a moment. 

“You know, that’s valid,” she agreed, rolling herself up carefully to not get lightheaded. 

“Kay, cool, because I already told the guy I’d take him.”

“You were going to take him no matter what I said, weren’t you?”

“Natch.”

Lup bopped him over the head before grabbing her dance bag and her Stone and leaving to the door.

“Aight, Imma head out. Make sure Merle doesn’t burn down the house.” She instructed, turning on her heel and leaving.

“Wait who’s taking you?”

“Mama Bluejeans! Why else do you think I was talking to Barry all morning? We wanted to hang out before I had to go to dance class!” She called out, grabbing her extra roller that she left in the hallway.

“Are you getting Mama Bluejeans approval for marrying her son?” Taako called out after her.

“Shut up!”

“Who’s marrying whose son?” Came a calm voice in all the racket. Lup turned and saw Lucretia in the doorway to her room, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.

“No one is marrying anyone,” Lup told her. “Taako’s just being dumb again.”

Lucretia nodded and eyed Lup’s dance bag. 

“You’re heading out already?”

“Yeah, Barry wanted to hang out since we haven’t in a hot minute outside of school. You wanna watch horror movies after I get back?” Lup asked, smiling at her. Lucretia smiled back at her.

“Hot diggity shit yeah, I’ll get a selection going. I’ll also sneak into Merle’s goody stash.” Lucretia promised.

“Yes, babe, thank you! See ya, Creesh!” Lup waved goodbye to her best girl friend and dashed down the stairs. She said a quick goodbye to Merle, ignoring his confused yells, she’ll text him later. Her heart was pumping so fast that when she saw the old minivan, she was sure it would pop out. She smiled all the way to his car, waving enthusiastically when she saw him in the back of the car. A blush was forming on her cheeks.

She opened the car door as dramatically as it would let her, throwing her dance bag to the furthest away seat before toppling in behind it. Closing the car door quickly, she began blowing into her hands.

“Fantasy Jesus Christ is it cold out there,” she started, teeth chattering aggressively. She placed on her seat belt and leaned forward in the chair. “Hey, Mama.”

“Hi, Lup. What time do you want to meet up at for your practice?” Mama Bluejeans made sure she was wearing her seatbelt once again before putting the car in drive and pulled away from Merle’s house.

“Maybe around 5? Does that sound good, Lu?” Barry turned around in his seat to look at her. Her breathing hitched just slightly by the look on his face, before knocking herself out of her stupor. 

“Sounds perfect!” She smiled at him. Her hands were beginning to get feeling back in them, an idea hatching in her mind. “Hey, feel my hands!”

“No, Lup, come on–” Barry yelped slightly as she placed her hands on his exposed neck. She knew it was wrong to revel in touching him, to have some sort of distance closed, especially at the expense of his own discomfort. She really should start to maybe not do that and act like a normal person around him. “Christ your hands are cold! You were only out there for two minutes!”

“The one drawback of being a beautiful elf. You’re susceptible to cold.”

“I thought the one drawback to being a beautiful elf was everyone hitting on you.”

“I mean, that’s both a gift and a curse.” Lup smiled slyly at him, retreating her hands from his neck slowly. “What’s it like being a furnace, huh?”

Lup leaned back in her seat, knowing Mama Bluejeans will probably start telling her soon enough. She looked at Barry, an eyebrow raised, trying to ignore the annoying fluttering that was happening in her stomach. Gods, she was such a loser when it came to things like this. 

“I guess...sweaty?” Barry chuckled softly and Lup couldn’t help but give him a little smack on his arm. Maybe if she initiated contact with him more, then he would get the hint. Though, she tended to give everyone some sort of physical contact whenever she was interacting with them. Maybe she can give him more then? Would he get the hint that way?

“Hey, has anyone asked to be your partner for that bio thing?” She poked him in his arm, which made him poke her back, which started a poking war between them.

“Not yet, why? You wanna be my partner?” The pokes were becoming more and more frequent with one another, that they were just going to town.

“Hell yeah, my dude. The teacher knows that we’re already good together.” 

“Yeah...good together.” The way Barry said it made her scratch her head a bit. His tone almost sounded wistful and the way his eyes were now so soft. Could it be? Did he? No, that was impossible, there was no way he liked her back. It was inconceivable. She liked to think that she knew Barry, and Barry reciprocating feelings for her...that was just not plausible. 

“Yeah, like science partners in crime.” She poked him again, trying to clear the awkward air that was suddenly between them. Barry laughed, the spell was broken.

“Are we committing death crimes, too?”

“Hey, Barold, not in front of Mama Bluejeans! She doesn’t know what a freak you are with necromancy.” Lup gave a fake gasp as her hand dramatically flew to her mouth. “Oh, looks like the cats out of the bag, sorry, Barry, looks like our fun is over.”

“I’m sorry, what? I had my ear muffs on, I didn’t hear a thing you two were talking about.” Mama Bluejeans joked. Lup tilted her head back and barked with laughter. Mama Bluejeans knew all about Barry’s extracurriculars when it came to necromancy, it was hard to cover up. Besides, she told them when she did find out about it that Barry’s father was into it. The two of them were partners and were researching a way to live forever. Unfortunately, Barry’s father had died before they cracked the code, and Mama Bluejeans funding was cut in the process. Besides, she had Barry to think about, she didn’t want to leave him with no one.

The two of them snickered together, Lup poking Barry in the back of the neck again causing him to yelp. That resulted in a very poorly thought out tickle fight, that nearly got Barry to have a blackeye due to Lup’s poorly timed fist in the air. 

“Okay, that’s enough. Barry turn around before I get into an accident, please.” The two of them obeyed, Barry turned around and Lup gave him a final tickle on his neck. He yelped but only turned around slightly to give her a lighthearted glare. Lup stuck her tongue out to him and laughed as she slumped back into her seat. This was fine. They were friends and that’s all that really mattered if she thought about it. Besides, she didn’t have enough money to go all out on a homecoming proposal. This was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys once again for kudosing, commenting, and bookmarking! You all are just so great and kind, and I love all of you! My Tumblr is @moonlightxstars if you want to interact with me more on there! See y'all next Tuesday.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10th Grade

Barry really couldn’t get out of it this time. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t. Lup was all too convincing, and it was summer break. They were no longer freshmen and Taako and Lup wanted to celebrate this fact by going to the beach. Lup had brought it up in the presence of his Ma, and once Ma heard they were planning a beach day, she made him go. It was almost like Ma forgot all about one little problem. He really didn’t know how to swim. Not that anyone knew this little fact about him, not even Taako and Lup. He kept it under wraps for the most part, too afraid that everyone would make fun of him.

Of course that wasn’t given any of his friends enough credit. They wouldn’t openly make fun of him like that. Not even behind his back would they make fun of him for it. The thing with him and swimming was simple enough. He had a bad experience at the community pool where some older kid tried to drown him practically. He was seven, how else was he going to react than with being afraid of water? Still, he knew he was getting lucky with avoiding doing anything that involves pools or beaches. Except for that fateful Wednesday afternoon where Lup was over to just visit his Ma because she missed her.

She came over at around two in the afternoon, bearing gifts of snickerdoodles and peanut butter bars. Her long blonde hair was in two braids that reached her hips and she was wearing a pink flowered sundress with matching pink sandals. When he saw her looking so beautiful he almost lost it. She was just so great, he didn’t really know how to act. 

“Yo, Barold,” she called out when she walked into his home. She didn’t even bother with knocking, just knowing that his front door was open and let herself in. 

“Lup, what are you doing here?” He was now acutely aware that he was still in his pajama pants and white t-shirt, not exactly the best thing to wear when having guests.

“Missed Mama Bluejeans.” 

She said it so simply that Barry was sure she was from another planet for a split second. He didn’t know how Lup found new ways to catch him by surprise. She moved into the kitchen with such grace that Barry knew she was from a different planet coming here to show up all the normal people. She placed her goodies on the kitchen island, booping his nose in the process. He made a face of disgust as she did it, trying to avoid it, but failing miserably.

“Why do you do that?”

“Your facial expressions are gold,” she smiled mischievously at him, leaning on the kitchen island and lacing her fingers together. “I haven’t seen you all summer, Barold, what’s up with that? You been avoiding us?”

“I-no, I could never, I-I’ve just been busy!” He was stammering so badly he was sure she was going to poke fun at him. She didn’t, though, she just put her chin in her laced fingers and cocked her head. She stared at him with those eyes, unblinking and just looking even more cat like than ever before. 

Just like that, Ma decided to save the day with entering the kitchen. Her hair was in a bun, her gray streaks more prominent now. 

“Lup, I thought I heard you come in. How are you, honey?” Ma’s voice was so just so pleasantly surprised. Barry knew that Ma liked Lup, knew that she was trying to hint at a relationship between the two of them since last year. If only she knew the half of it. If only she knew that Barry had unrequited feelings for Lup since they were five years old. 

“Fine, just been hitting that grind with auditions coming up soon.” Lup seemed so relaxed. That’s how she always was though, not at all a tensed up mess like Barry. It’s probably why they would never work out in the first place. He carried way too much anxiety, while Lup was cool under fire. “How’ve you been? It’s been a while since we last chatted. Especially since Barold over here refuses to invite me over anymore.”

There was a teasing glint in her eye and Barry knew not to take it seriously. He held his hands up in mock defense. 

“Maybe I just want to keep my Ma to myself.”

“Typical only child back at it again.”

“If he really wanted to keep me to himself, he would actually come out of the lab every so often to see how his old Ma was holding up.” 

“Ma!”

“Oh, caught.” Lup cackled, her head dipping back. Her laugh always made Barry feel so warm inside, like a giant bonfire. She smiled at him and he could feel his entire face start to heat up from her fire. Gods, she was just so beautiful. “Anyways, Mama, I was just coming over to ask your permission to steal Barry away on Friday.”

“Oh?” Ma’s interest was piqued, he could see it in her face, and he was convinced that she thought that Lup was asking him out on a date or something. His Ma’s hopes were up too high. Someone like Lup could never be in love with someone like him romantically. He was resigned to that fact. He could only love her from afar and he was okay with that. Lup deserved someone who burned just as brightly as she did, he would just weigh her down with his dullness. 

“Yeah, Taako has been wanting to have a beach day all summer, something about how he’s getting way too pale. Anyway, we’re finally not so busy where we’re at, and we were hoping that Barry wouldn’t be busy as well.” 

Beach day...water...Barry was about to protest when Ma answered for him.

“I think he should be free that day. Right, Barry?” His Ma gave him That Look™, and Barry knew he wouldn’t be able to get out of it. So he just nodded and hoped for the best.

Which was how he ended up there on a Friday afternoon. Merle had actually owned some land on a private beach, and they were all hanging out there having the time of their lives. At least, everyone else was. Barry had secluded himself to being under the umbrella. He burned too easily to just let himself out in the sun. Even with all the sunblock he had on, he knew he was going to get a bit more pink than he was comfortable with. To combat that, he stayed in the shade, a t-shirt firmly on him and two bottles full of SPF 100 right next to him. 

Everyone else though, was having the time of their lives. Lup, Taako, Magnus, and Lucretia were all playing chicken with one another, Lup on Magnus shoulders, and Taako on Lucretia’s. Davenport was at another umbrella reading a book about aircrafts while Merle was on the shoreline looking for some...things. Barry really didn’t know how else to describe it. 

He assumed he could just read his own book. He had a lot of things to research on, especially since he wanted to impress Lup with his newfound magic skills that he had been cultivating all summer. Though, he really didn’t want to do that. Instead, he really just wanted to join in on the action in the water and maybe play chicken with everyone else. Too bad he was never going to learn how to swim. So, instead, he watched his friends have fun without him. He knew it was supposed to be a bonding thing for all five of them before the school year, but now he just felt so out of place. 

He liked Magnus and Lucretia, don’t get him wrong, they were really good people and he got along with them just fine. It was just...he couldn’t help but feel a little bit replaced by them. Maybe it was that only child energy coming out, but Lup and Taako lived with Magnus and Lucretia. He didn’t stand a chance with that. Sure, they had kindergarten through half of fifth grade together, but Magnus and Lucretia know how Lup and Taako acted at home. Maybe he was being petty and insecure, but there was a bond there that he didn’t share with the twins and it worried him. It made him feel like they only befriended him again out of pure obligation instead of willingly. Like they pitied him. They probably thought that he couldn’t make friends without their help and that’s why they stuck by him. 

A day where they were just supposed to hang out with one another and here he was covered in self-pity. He really was on that only child wave of not getting enough attention. That sucked. He really was convincing himself that he was only good for being an elementary friend. Maybe he should just slowly start to cut himself out of their little circle of friends so they didn’t have to keep acting like he was still their best friend. That was bullshit, he knew that.

Self-pity really was dragging him down deeper that he didn’t even notice Lup come over, wiping her hands on her towel and grabbing her floppy sun hat and sunglasses. He didn’t even notice her plopping right down next to him until she leaned in to see what he was reading.

“Are you really nerding out on beach day, Barold?” Her tone wasn’t meant to be mean, but right now in his state of mind, everything was just a bit laced with malicious intent. He sunk down further, closing his book slightly. This seemed to get Lup’s attention as he was never one to ever keep reading material away from her. She pulled down her sunglasses, blue eyes even more clear than usual. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

He tried not to zero in on the fact she called him babe. She did that with everyone. That was just Lup. Calling people pet names was just her thing and he really couldn’t believe that his brain was going haywire from being called a pet name. He must really be pathetic. 

“Nothing. I guess I’m just really tired.” It was such a bad lie, especially in front of Lup. She knew just about everything about Barry, everything except for his humongous crush on her and his fear of water. Those two things were going to stay a secret forever. 

“Barry,” her tone was dangerous, he knew that. She didn’t like it when he lied to her, but he really didn’t want her worrying for him. She had other things to worry about. Also, he didn’t want to tell her about his pity party hour where he was starting to get envious over Magnus and Lucretia living with Lup and Taako. Envy really was an ugly color on him. He also didn’t want to reveal that he actually couldn’t swim because that would get her mind whirring to fix the situation. He really didn’t want that.

“Really, Lu, I’m fine. I’m just a little tired from staying up all night in the lab.” 

She gave him a look that told him that she didn’t believe him but didn’t press him on it. Instead, she dried off a bit and grabbed some of the normal people sunblock with SPF of 45. 

“Are you gonna go in the water at all?” Her tone was light, but Barry could feel the weight of her words. He swallowed thickly, turning to the water and watching Magnus splashing around, trying to get Taako’s hair wet. 

“Nah, I was just gonna chill.” 

“What? Barry, that’s so lame!”

He nearly choked on his spit. To be told by Lup that he was lame for not going swimming...gods that hurt more than he thought it should. He really was letting her down for not doing something. But, it wasn’t his fault for not liking large bodies of water. They were just too unpredictable and he really didn’t want to risk it. But...everyone looked like they were having such fun out there on the waves. He sort of wanted to join. No, he really wanted to join. 

Barry didn’t try to defend himself to her. He kept quiet as she slathered more sunblock on. She really did look absolutely radiant. Her hair was braided down her back today, something about the salt water weakening hair if it was unbraided. She wore a red one piece with the word ‘Spicy’ written across it. Taako had screamed when he saw it, telling her to change immediately. Lup just stuck her tongue out at him and told him he was just jealous. 

Lup stretched out on blanket, arms raised above her head. Barry could tell that she had her eyes closed even with the dark tint of her sunglasses.

“Hey, Bear, you want an ice cream? We got some that were dairy-free just for you.”

“You really didn’t have to do that.”

“And have you eat one with dairy and have you sick all day? I don’t think so.” She propped herself up on her elbow facing him, her sunglasses sliding down her perfectly straight nose, exposing her eyes. “Barry, what’s eating you?”

“Nothing, Lup, I’m fine, really.”

She muttered something that he couldn’t make out before dropping down from her position and laying back down. She placed her sunglasses more securely on her face. He knew he disappointed her. He’s been doing that so often now and it made him feel so scummy but he couldn’t stop it. He really was waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for Lup to just explode at him and tell him that she no longer wanted to be his friend. That she didn’t want to expend the energy anymore to include him in anything anymore if he was going to be a downer about everything. Maybe he was projecting. Still, he could tell he was grating on Lup’s nerves more and more as time went on. 

He didn’t know what he could blame it on. He partially blamed it on his feelings for Lup, just making everything super uncomfortable between them. There were so many instances where he just wanted to confess to her just so he could take the rejection and move on. In eighth grade, he was really close. He had hyped himself up to tell her and he almost did, only to chicken out last minute. He really hated himself for that. Then he almost told her in ninth grade, only to once again, chicken out. 

He got up from his position, suddenly wanting there to be space between him and Lup. Maybe he’ll walk the shoreline. That way he was dipping his feet in, but not engulfing his body in it. He was just going to clear his head and stop feeling sorry for himself. It wasn’t very attractive and Lup had come over to his house personally to invite him along. She was still one of his very best friends and she obviously liked spending time with him. He was just the one making everything weird. 

He walked the shoreline. Barry had to admit that it was very pretty. The water was crystal clear, and the sand was soft beneath his feet. Even the sun didn’t feel as bright here, which didn’t fool him. He would still get burnt no matter how soft the sun was. Seashells littered the shoreline, some were whole pieces, others were just fragments of what once was. The glittering sea was tempting him, whispering to him to come on in. It would go easy on him and he would be able to swim with Lup and not make her upset anymore. He heard the sirens call and almost ventured deeper until common sense caught up with him. He’d sink like a rock and drown. Then where would everyone be? Lup would blame herself for pressuring him.

“Yo, Barold.”

Barry turned around and saw Taako now on a board, leaning down on it. His hair was loose around his shoulders, stating that his hair was getting too long for his liking and Lup kept snagging his hair too much. Lup had told Barry in private that it was really because Taako messed up a dish and decided to take it out on his hair. Having his hair short was apparently annoying him and he regretted doing it instantly. He had apparently tried to get it back to its old length through transmutation, but it had backfired and only caused his hair to get shorter. 

“Hey, Taako,” Barry sat down on the shoreline, playing in the sand.

“How’s it hanging? Why haven’t you been in the water yet catching these waves?”

“I uh...I had a big breakfast at home and I didn’t want to get a cramp?”

“That’s fucking bullshit.”

Taako paddled closer to him and was now close enough so Barry could see the incoming blonde whiskers on his chin. Taako had talked about growing a beard, but knowing elf genes, it wouldn’t be as full as he wanted it to be. If anything, he was just going to get a few sparse hairs that Lup was going to make fun of him for. 

“Come on, my man, you can tell Old Taako anything. I won’t judge.”

“Yeah, I’m not buying that one.”

“I mean yeah, good call on that I guess.”

They sat in silence for a good moment, Barry picking at the seashells trying to avoid what his brain really wanted to say to him. He wanted to learn how to swim just so he didn’t have this weird thing anymore. He wanted to spend more time with his friends, and he couldn’t do that with all the barriers he put on himself. Maybe if he can ask Taako...but he would make fun of him for being fifteen years old and still not know how to swim. 

“Barry, that’s your thinking face, what’s going on?”

“Can you teach me how to swim?”

There was a beat of silence. Taako just stared at him, eyes perplexed for a moment. Barry looked at him, his mouth had betrayed him, and he could feel the sweat start to drip down his face and back from sheer embarrassment. Any second now Taako was going to laugh at him for not knowing how to swim. Any second he was going to regret even telling him that he didn’t know how in the first place. 

“Oh, okay. Sounds chill.”

Taako’s response surprised him. He’s known him since kindergarten. Barry knew Taako. Knew what he was like and how he responded to things. This was a new development. This was different and Barry didn’t know how to react. 

“Y-you’re not going to make fun of me?”

“Nah, I’m sure you know how utterly lame it is to not know how to swim at fifteen. Why rub it in more?” There was the little dig he was expecting. “But, it’s better if we learn in a pool rather than at the beach. So, tomorrow, sun up, we’re busting your pool legs out.”

Barry nodded. He spent the rest of the day watching as Taako surfed on the open waves. He looked like a god on his surfboard. He was so confident that he didn’t know how to compare to him. He couldn’t, and that’s just how it was. 

Beach day after that went off fine. Barry avoided the water like it was the plague, and Lup didn’t bother him about it anymore. In fact, she didn’t really come up to him at all, taking more time away with Lucretia than anyone else. He assumed it made sense, Lucretia was the only other girl that they had in their friend group, but it still stung. Maybe he should get over himself already.

At around eight in the morning the next day, Barry arrived at the community pool closest to Merle’s house. It was a bit of a drive for him, but his Ma had come with him to let him get some driving practice. He had thanked her profusely the night before and this morning as she got her coffee going. She just smiled at him and bopped him on his nose.

Taako was already in the pool when he arrived. His hair was done up in a high ponytail with several strands escaping the updo. This seemed to be annoying him because he kept trying to get the stubborn strands back in the ponytail by wrapping the strands around the hair tie. Sadly, the strands were now too short and he just kept doing that to no avail. Taako seemed to give up on this chore when he saw Barry standing rather awkwardly at the door from the bathroom where he had just showered.

“Barold, get in here before you’re even more late.”

“Taako, it’s eight in the morning.”

“Yeah, and I said to be here at sun up. We’ve already wasted daylight. Choppity chop, Barold.”

Barry obeyed, shuffling awkwardly to the pool. He didn’t know when he started to act more awkward around the twins. Maybe it was when they had their year and a half apart. They had changed so much in that time and Barry didn’t really know who they were anymore. Even though they were friends again and hanging out more, there was still that wedge there that he couldn’t help but notice. A stark divide over what they once were. Maybe he was only an elementary friend.

He stared into the clear pool water, feeling the anxiety rise from deep within him. He was fifteen, he could do this. Why was he acting like such a nerd? He gulped painfully, hesitantly putting a toe in the water, pretending to check the temperature. It was perfect, of course. Not too cold, but refreshing enough to help on the already hot summer day.

“Come on, Barry. You know the temp’s fine when I’m in here.” There was a lot of truth to Taako’s words. The twins were super susceptible to cold and often bundled up in layers once it got down in the 70’s. Taako was more outspoken about how cold he got while Lup tended to just heat up her hands with her fire magic. It didn’t always work, especially when it was the dead of winter. Lup couldn’t seem to concentrate on magic, forcing her chatter her teeth together and huddle in closer to her friends. More so Barry or Magnus since they always ran hotter.

Barry dipped his full foot in the water, feeling his anxieties well up and he suddenly couldn’t breathe. Oh gods, he couldn’t breathe. Why was he having an anxiety attack right now? Why couldn’t he just brave it? He felt so frozen and so out of control of everything as his arm trembled violently on the hand rail. He could feel his legs threaten to collapse from underneath, the only thing preventing it was the fact he would be even more submerged in the water.

“Hey, Barry, you okay there, my dude?”

Taako’s voice sounded so far away. He could feel the cold sweat dripping down his back, his breathing suddenly shallow. His vision was tunneling and he thought he was about to pass out when he felt someone take him out of the pool by brute force. Barry collapsed on the pool deck floor, his heartbeat erratic and seeming to skip some beats per minute with its fright. He was still breathing heavily, and he felt his eyes bulging out of their sockets. He really did have a major freakout because of the pool.

Taako laid breathing heavily on his stomach, more hair escaping from his ponytail. He turned his head to Barry and nodded his head.

“Okay, we’re going to take this slowly. Come on, let’s go to the kids pool to get you comfortable with water.”

That’s how they spent the remainder of the summer. Taako would take some time out on Saturdays to help Barry overcome his phobia of water and teach him how to swim in the process. It was slow moving, and Barry felt like such a loser for it. But Taako never complained. He gently coaxed him, making sure he was comfortable enough and not pushing him too hard if he was experiencing anxiety. Some days were better than others, Barry could get into the pool no trouble and work his way through the shallow end. Other days, Taako had to give him a pep talk for about an hour before he felt ready enough to make it in the pool with Taako guiding him. Taako never made fun of him for it, he never rose any stint against it. He just let Barry take it at the pace he wanted.

On the second to last weekend of the summer, Barry was now semi confident in the deep end. Floating on his back like Taako taught him to do. He found it strangely relaxing now. The water supported him, he had nothing to fear. Taako was gracefully swimming a few feet away from him, a breaststroke that would make anyone on the swim team jealous.

“Taako, I just have to thank you for teaching me how to do this. I never thought I’d be able to get past it.”

“Yeah, no sweat, my dude. It was honestly kind of fun.”

Barry smiled. Usually when he spent any time with Taako, Lup was always involved in some way. It was never just the two of them. He had to admit, it was really nice to spend some one on one time with Taako, and it made him feel a little more secure in their little friend group. Taako had willingly come out here to help him. He didn’t give up on him no matter how many setbacks they had. He still had an anxiety about drowning, but he was able to circumvent that now. 

“I gotta ask though, why’d you ask me to teach you? Why not Lup?” It was a simple question really. But in that, Barry felt everything come up. He couldn’t have asked Lup to teach him. If he had made himself look like even more of a fool in front of her, he would’ve been super embarrassed. Also, he didn’t think he would be able to concentrate if she taught him. He would’ve been distracted by every little thing she did and he would probably be at stage one getting used to the kiddie pool.

“I mean, you seemed like you knew what you were doing, so why not you? Also, I didn’t really want to look like a fool in front of anyone else like…”

“Like who, Barold?”

Barry hesitated, he spoke way too much. All he had to say was that Taako seemed like he knew what he was doing and nothing more. He really had to bring up his other anxieties into the mix. 

“Nothing, Taaks, really. Thank you again for teaching me, now I can really swim at next week's end of summer bash.” Barry began to paddle to the shallow end to get out when Taako latched onto his arm. Barry looked back at him, feeling the dread come over him. Was Taako really not going to let this go? His blue eyes bore into him, trying to see anymore movement that would betray him. He felt his anxieties take over as he looked anywhere but at Taako.

“Barold, come on, I’m your best friend you can tell me anything,” Taako sing-songed making Barry feel even more anxious. Taako only did that when he really wasn’t going to let anything go unless he spilled.

“I mean, technically Lup’s my best friend–”

“Barold.”

“I was afraid of looking like a nerd in front of Lup. I uh...I value her opinion of me?”

Taako stared at him for a moment, eyes scrutinizing every miniscule movement that he did. Barry felt like a bug under a microscope, getting poked and prodded at with sharp tools.

“You’re in love with my sister?”

“I wouldn’t say love...I mean, it’s been like what? Nearly eleven years of knowing you two? And it’s still really early…” Barry’s voice gave up on trying to make up anymore lies. Why should he lie to Taako? It was true, he was in love with Lup and had been since kindergarten. There was no denying it, and he knew he couldn’t deny it to Taako. It was probably written all over his face, with Lup’s named scrawled neatly across his forehead. 

“How long have you known?” The question caught him off guard if he was being honest. There was a look in Taako’s eye that he couldn’t place. A glimmer of something that he couldn’t name in the moment of it all.

“W-what?” Even to his own ears he knew how dumb he sounded. He was surprised that Taako didn’t roll his eyes and proclaim it to the empty community pool. 

“How long?”

“I guess...I guess since I first met her? Since kindergarten.” 

Taako just nodded his head as he let go of Barry’s arm and swam back deeper in the pool. He seemed to be studying him for some reason, something that Barry once again couldn’t place. He didn’t get it, he didn’t get why Taako wasn’t just yelling at him for being such a nerd. Telling him that it would never happen between him and Lup because Lup was so cool and confident while Barry was just... _ Barry. _

“I’ve never really thought about telling her. Sure I felt like I should sometimes but I don’t want to ruin our friendship. That’s more important than anything, if I lose out on Lup’s friendship because of  _ feelings _ that she definitely doesn’t reciprocate then I’m never going to forgive myself, ya know?” Barry was rambling. Why was he telling Taako all of this about his own sister? This was weird, he was making it weird again, oh gods why can’t he stop himself? “She’s just really important to me, and–”

“Barry, it’s chill. Tell her, don’t tell her. It’s all up to you, my man. You two have something that not a lot of people have and that’s the time you two have spent together already. Not a lot of people can say that they’re still friends with the person they met in kindergarten.” Taako waded deeper in the pool. “If you do decide to tell her, though, do it in private for cha boy, okay? I don’t wanna be there when shit hits the fan.”

That was uncharacteristically kind of him. To not want to be there when Lup ultimately rejected him? Normally Taako would want first row seats to that. Hell, Barry remembered last year when someone went up to Lup to ask her out to homecoming and she denied him. Taako was howling with laughter, talking about how he couldn’t believe that a nerd like that thought he had a chance with Lup. Why wouldn’t he want to see that happen to him? Maybe it’s because they had history and were friends. He probably didn’t want to see his sister reject one of his friends and make it all awkward. 

“Anyway, the back to school bash is at the same beach we were at before. It’s time to show off my teaching skills, my man.” 

“I couldn’t forget.”

“Natch.” Taako gave him a knowing smirk and it made Barry just feel a little anxious. 

“You’re not going to tell her, right?” It was a dumb question. Why would Taako be so cruel to tell Lup about his feelings? It didn’t seem like something he would do, but he had to make sure.

“Of course not, that’s your thing to do. Taako’s good out here with all that stuff.”

Barry smiled weakly at him, now in the shallow end. It felt pretty nice to tell someone about how he felt about Lup, even if it was Taako. If he can tell Taako about how he felt about Lup, then maybe he can tell her one day as well. Not now though. He needed to prepare himself for the rejection a little bit more. Maybe he’ll tell her once he got over the feelings for her, if that was ever going to happen. Maybe it was going to be a funny thing one day where he just told her over a powwow of secrets. They can laugh about it then.

The next beach day came, and Barry felt a little more comfortable around the water. This time around, he only hesitated slightly with going into the water with everyone else. Lup came running at him from just being in the water, her hair dripping with salt water and her freckles even more prominent than before.

“Barry, can I talk to you about something?” She looked so beautiful in her red one piece, this one scant of any ‘Spicy’ wording. Barry nodded and scooted a little bit over for her, rubbing some more sunblock on his arms before he decided to go in the water. Lup plopped down next to him, some water drops falling on him in the process. Lup sighed as she pulled on her sunglasses, shoving them onto her face. She often talked about how her eyes hurt and were overall more sensitive due to them being on the lighter side.

“What’s up?” He couldn’t really tell where Lup was looking due to her dark sunglasses, but he kept facing the sea where some of their friends were. Taako was on his body board, laying on it lazily with his sunglasses stuck to his face. Barry could’ve sworn he was taking a nap. Davenport was swimming in the shallow end, goggles over his eyes to see what he could find. Meanwhile, Merle was still trying to look for things on the shoreline, something about making presents for everyone else. Lucretia was a few paces away under her own umbrella doodling something in her sketchbook. Magnus was nowhere to be seen, probably trying to catch more of them off guard.

“So, I don’t know if this is just me or anything, but...I don’t really know how to phrase this? I just, I’ve been noticing that we haven’t been hanging out as often as we used to. I also know that you’ve been spending more time with Taako, and gods I sound so super jealous. That ain’t cute, but I guess what I’m asking is if I did anything wrong?” She sounded so concerned and all Barry wanted to do was give her a huge hug. He felt so bad that he made her feel left out, and he didn’t even know what to say to her. It wasn’t anything she did, he just thought that maybe she wanted some space.

“No, no, of course not! You didn’t do anything wrong, Lup. I thought that you needed space or something. Like, maybe I did something wrong. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” He was trying to look anywhere but at Lup. He felt so bad that he made Lup feel left out in general, and like she might’ve done something that upset him. How was he supposed to tell her that it was because he liked her in more than a best friend way?

Lup shifted closer to him, making him have to look at her. Her sunglasses had slid down her nose again, revealing her eyes. What she did next surprised him though. She put her hand on his cheek, caressing him gently. He could feel the warmth start to spread across his face and in the pit of his stomach. His heartbeat was kicked into overdrive as he looked into her piercing eyes. He couldn’t not look at her, he was a moth to the flame, transfixed by her otherworldly beauty.

“You could never do anything to make me feel like that. And if you do, I’d tell you, okay?” Her voice was so soft, and Barry wished that he could close the distance between them. Maybe he could just kiss her and figure out once and for all. There was a certain intensity in Lup’s eyes that just had him leaning forward. He heard her breathing hitch a bit, but she didn’t retreat from him, instead moving in closer to meet him. They were so close, he could feel her breath on his mouth, making him want to surge forward even more. They were inches away from each other, their lips almost touching and Barry could feel his arms start to shake from the anticipation of it all. He was going to know once and for all.

“MAGNUS!”

The sudden yell had both Barry and Lup springing apart from one another. In the process of it all, Barry’s glasses fell off his face. Magnus was behind them, laughing hysterically before escaping for his next victim. 

“Magnus!” Lup yelled after him, throwing some sand at the retreating form of Magnus. Barry could feel the embarrassment catching up to him. He couldn’t believe he almost kissed Lup like that. He couldn’t believe that he let himself get carried away just because she placed her hand on his face. He really was pathetic wasn’t he?   
  


“Sorry about that,” he scrambled up from his position, ready to let this moment between them pass. He couldn’t see anything, his glasses gone to the void, but he just knew he was making this awkward for both of them. He brushed off the sand and went off towards the water.

“Barry, wait!” He heard Lup come after him, grabbing him before he got too close to the water. She turned him around, and Barry could only see a blonde blob in front of him. He couldn’t make out her expression, but he knew the moment had passed. It was probably a one time thing between them, and maybe Lup only did that because she felt bad for him. 

There was a pregnant pause between them, the awkwardness bubbling up over what happened between them. 

“Your glasses,” he felt something being put on his face, and suddenly he could see again. Lup was stretching up, adjusting the glasses on his face. “There. Much better.” Her hands remained hovering over his face for a moment before looking away from him. 

“I’m gonna get a water. You want one?” He could tell that she was trying to move past whatever just transpired between them. 

“I’m okay,” he felt like he sounded so squeaky, and he cringed at that. Lup smiled at him, her face looking a little redder than normal. She went away quickly and Barry could just feel the shame of what happened overcome him. He couldn’t believe that he almost made Lup kiss him like that. That’s not what best friends did to each other.

Gods, he was such a nerd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you all so much for kudosing, commenting, and bookmarking this story! I'm honestly so super touched by everyone's kind words and overall enthusiasm for this thing! This was one of my favorite chapters that I have written for this story (the next one is like my favorite, oop.) 
> 
> You guys are so super kind and now I have to get back to sewing up this corset thing I'm making for my Lup cosplay. Send help.
> 
> My Tumblr is @moonlightxstars if you want to interact! See y'all next Tuesday!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junior Year

There was a certain lightness in her step that day that just made it feel like she was on top of the world. It was a glorious late summer morning, why wouldn’t she be happy? It was the Monday after summer break and she was just excited to get on with this school year and start her all year long plan. She had talked it over with Taako a lot, so much to the point he started to put a pillow over his head every time she brought it up. He’d groan and tell her she wouldn’t be able to do it. She took his doubts as ammunition.

She was in the first few stages of  _ “Get Barold to know I’m in love with him.” _ Lup had figured out the first stage all last night, only getting around two hours of sleep. Not that it bothered her much, sleep wasn’t really necessary anyway. If worse came to worse, she could just trance during basic first day of school routine. Lup was plenty energize anyway, enacting this plan and making sure he knew was her prerogative. 

Lup was practically skipping as she made her way to the front entrance of the school, swinging her keys around her finger as she spaced out her plan. Step one: be overly affectionate with him. Step two: Still in progress of being finalized and will be once step one had proven successful. How will she know that step one was successful? She hoped she would just know. That she would be able to feel it. That had to be it. It’s how love worked in all of the movies. The heroine knew when the shift occurred and pursued. That’s what she was hoping would happen with Barry. 

Nothing could dampen her mood, not even the drizzle that was trying to put her off. No, today was absolutely perfect. No one could sully it, not even this less than perfect rain. There was a fire in her veins and passion in her heart, and no one could take that away from her, absolutely no one.

“You know Barry’s in love with someone, right?” Lup stopped dead in her tracks. She turned to her brother who was looking like he was having a difficult time staying awake. His hair was unbrushed and the weird patches of scruff on him made him seem more tired. He didn’t even try with his outfit, instead just wearing gray sweatpants and what looked like Magnus’s football sweatshirt. Still, he carried himself enough to make it fashionable.

“How do you know that?”

Taako smiled deviously, suddenly more awake and no longer mourning the fact that Summer Break was over. He shrugged his shoulders as he walked past her towards the groups usual meeting spot.

“He told me,” he answered rather unhelpfully. That hoe.

“When?” Her voice raised several octaves and it irked her just enough to make her cringe. She couldn’t believe that Taako was doing this to her now, after all of her planning. 

“Uh, the summer we had that massive beach party. You know, summer going into sophomore year one.” He supplied, now stopped and arms crossed looking at her. There was a teasing glint in his eyes and all Lup wanted to do was to punch it out of him.

“Taako, if you goofing on me, then I sw-”

“No, no, baby sister, not a goof. Totes happened. Barold’s been pining after someone for quite some time now.” Lup could feel her heart plummet. She knew that party, too. She and Barry had almost...but apparently that didn’t even matter since he was in love with someone else. Gods, why did she force herself like that on him? No wonder he was a bit hesitant, he didn’t like her like that. Gods, she was so stupid, why would he ever see her as anything else than just a friend?

“Did he tell you who?”

“Natch, goofus.” Taako had a shit eating grin on his face and all Lup wanted to do was punch him. He knew that she liked Barry, knew that she wanted to confess to him. Why would he let it carry on for so long only to drop the bomb on her that Barry loved somebody else? Was it for the drama of it all? Gods, she hated him right now.

“Who is it then?”

“Nah-uh, Lulu, I was sworn to secrecy.” He mimed zipping up his lips with a key and then throwing it away. Lup groaned. 

“Then why didn’t he tell me? I’m his best friend!” Now she was getting mad. Her perfect day was ruined and all she wanted to do was curl up and cry just a little bit. Gods, that made her sound pathetic.

“Because he needed my opinion on it. Man to man.” Taako curled his lip upwards just a little bit. “Jealous?” Lup snorted as she closed the distance between them and punched him in the arm. Getting mad and bitter over something so trivial as who Barry liked wouldn’t be very cool of her. If Barry liked someone so much and needed to ask Taako about it, then so be it. Barry will tell her in due time that he liked someone and then get her opinion on the matter. He was probably just trying to understand it a little bit more. Getting used to the idea that he was in love with someone. It was fine, more than fine. Barry was allowed to love other people that weren’t her. He was his own person, he does have a life outside of their friend group. 

Even as she was saying how great it was that he loved someone else, she couldn’t help but feel the sharp pang of jealousy in her heart. She couldn’t help but feel her heart feeling a little bit cracked, okay, a lot of bit cracked. She had to get over it though. Barry didn’t owe her anything, she shouldn’t hold it against him or the person he had a crush on. Besides, envy looked ugly on most people, and she wasn’t about to go testing whether or not it was a look for her. 

“He’ll tell me eventually. As I said, I’m his best friend, meaning he can’t keep a secret from me for too long.” She curled her lips up in a smile, adjusting her backpack and swinging her keys again. Okay, so  _ Operation: Get Barold to know I’m in Love with Him  _ was probably not going to happen now, but that’s fine. Besides, she was the best wingwoman. She can get whoever Barry’s pining to see the light and get him a date. That’s what best friends are for anyway. 

The only problem was that she had no idea who Barry was crushing on. How was she going to play wingwoman for him if he didn’t tell her? Maybe she can be a little bit pushy with him there? Just so she knows who she’s dealing with. 

“Are you sure about that?” There was a teasing tone in Taako’s voice which irked her just a bit. He walked in step right next to her, poking her in the arm playfully. He poked the top of her head with ease, grating on Lup’s nerves even more. Just this past summer Taako had been granted three precious inches of height against her, and then suddenly he felt like he could anything. It was a weird shift when they found out Taako had a growth spurt. They were no longer the same height, and even though they hadn’t been mistaken as the other since Lup’s transition, it was still weird that people were now able to pinpoint  _ exactly _ which one was which. Also the height gave Taako a superior sense of being which really did piss her off to no end. Hence why she started wearing more heels more often. Anything to knock Taako down from his new found height high.

She still had Barry though. They were always back and forth over who was taller than the other, but Lup had a winning streak over him. Before the school year had ended, she was just slightly taller than him, standing at the great height of five foot eleven. Barry was around five foot nine, and always good naturedly brought himself on the tips of his toes to rival her height some more. It wasn’t like they were trying to not be the shortest, Lucretia had that in the bag at standing at five foot four. Still, what she lacked in height, she made up in a death glare that shaped all of them up in a jiffy.

Barry couldn’t have grown that much during the summer. He was gone all summer long, being pulled out the last two weeks of school due to a science program his Mom put him in. It was really boring without him, but they texted frequently when he wasn’t too busy. She also spent time with Mama Bluejeans to help her out with the lack of Barry around before she left for dance camp. She just really couldn’t wait to see him again. She really shouldn’t seem overeager though, that would make Barry feel too awkward and he was too nice to not tell her to stop. She’ll only pressure him into telling her who he liked, because that’s what friends did. She had to know so she can get him together with someone.

“I’m pretty positive, dingus. I know Barry better than anyone.” She stuck her tongue out at him as he poked her in the side.

“Ahem, I think I know Barry better than anyone, because I actually knows who he likes.” Taako smiled cruelly at her. “Looks like we now know who’s the top twin now, bitch.”

“Still me because Barry will tell me who he likes.”

Taako cackled as he added a quick bounce in his step, suddenly feeling less like on the verge of death. Meanwhile, Lup shuffled her feet just a bit, her mood was somewhat less than it was before, but she had no doubt in her mind that Barry would eventually tell her. Maybe she could speed up the process just a little bit. 

The two of them walked together, turning down each hallway before coming up to the usual meeting place in front of the Orchestra room. Barry was already there, back up against the wall looking at his Stone. He seemed to be listening to something, and Lup felt her heart speed up at the sight of him. Someone had not gotten the memo that loving Barry like  _ that  _ was now out of the question. 

“Barry!” She called out. Barry startled, eyes wide before settling on her and softening. She could feel her cheeks getting hotter at the sight of that, and she really had to push it down. She shook that out of her head and bounded towards him. She threw her arms around him, expecting to have to overcompensate comically for their oh so dramatic height difference, when she found she was compensating for something. It wasn’t necessarily all her though, it was Barry who was doing the most.

She peeled herself from the hug and found that she had to slightly look up at Barry just so and– _ oh.  _ Barry was now  _ taller _ than her. It really could’ve been just an inch or two, but it still made a difference. A difference that she wasn’t used to and didn’t know what to do with.

“Barold, who told you you could get taller?” Taako was suddenly right next to the both of them, back against the white wall. 

“Uh, I guess puberty and genetics?”

“Mama Bluejeans is barely five two though.” Taako was examining his nails, biting on one that looked especially bad.

“Dad had the tall genes. I think Ma said he was around six one?” Taako snorted loudly and gnawed on his thumb nail for a bit. Lup on the other hand looked at Barry with wide eyes. Sure, he was only an inch taller than her now, but it was different, and it was done while he was away. “Anyway, Lu, how was your dance camp?”

The sudden question caught her by surprise. She was supposed to be asking how science camp was, and here he was getting the upper hand on asking her about dance. She felt she made a good impression on the company's head, and was even invited back for the winter. The only problem she was having apparently was her height. As much as she loved it, it did make partnering a little cumbersome. Most of the male dancers were already shorter than her, and then take her up on pointe, and suddenly the White Swan hopeful was a giant and the image was off. 

“Fine, the company seemed to like me plenty, and the dance master appreciated that I was willing to do things that I wasn’t comfortable with yet. I got a lot of pointers on how to improve and they invited me back for winter sesh! I could be taken in as an apprentice soon if all goes well.” She was trying to be modest about it. It was hard though, she could feel herself getting higher in energy as she kept explaining to Barry about it. She had been immensely proud of herself when she was given the invite to come back. She knew that meant she wouldn’t be home for Candlenights and she would miss everyone, but that was fine. This is what she wanted to do. If she can get an apprenticeship during the next summer program, then she was one step closer to her ultimate dream.

She would have to move far away from her friends and family. She and Taako would ultimately be separated for real this time, unless Merle allowed him to leave high school to live with her. They both knew that wouldn’t happen. It scared her. She’s never had to be without her brother. She would also be without Barry. Barry who she loved and who was her best friend. Barry who she was too afraid to tell she loved more than a friend. Maybe it was better that he was in love with someone else, they wouldn’t even be able to keep a relationship if she did get the apprenticeship.

“That’s fucking great, Lup, holy shit!” Barry smiled so brightly it was like looking directly into the sun. Gods, she was so in love with him. 

“Yeah, ditching your own flesh and blood is totes great.” Taako grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. Lup knew that he meant it as a goof, but she also knew her brother. He was feeling sour over her leaving for the summer, and then leaving again for the winter. To be honest, she missed her brother all summer long, missed the chats they had and making dinner with him. She also knew that she would have to get used to this one day. Taako and her were going to be separated at some point, whether it was due to careers or what not. The inevitability that this was happening had Lup panicking. She was never not without Taako, besides just this past summer. Even that, no matter how much she enjoyed it, she still felt naked without him. No one was there to pick up on her goofs and play around. She was alone.

She also knew if she treated Taako like he was a little kid about this, then he would deny ever feeling upset. He would say that she took the goof too far and that he didn’t mean anything by the comment. He was such a liar and the biggest baby. It was fine, though, because if he was really feeling upset about it, he’ll just crawl into bed with her and cling onto her like a lifeline. 

He may have been the first born, but he really does have younger twin energy radiating off him.

“Enough about me, what about you? Science camp for the whole ass summer? Gods, Bear, I knew you were a nerd, but this is a new category of nerdom.” She smirked at him, and Lup could’ve sworn she saw the light traces of pink on his cheeks.

“It was great. We really did that.” He was being cagey. It was pretty difficult to have Barry talk about himself, especially if she goofed on him a bit beforehand. He was self-conscious about a lot of things, and that included his interest. It didn’t make much sense to Lup, especially since all of his interests were interests of hers as well. She just hid it in front of most.

“Come on, Bear, spill! What were you sciencing about? You have to tell me all about it!” She grabbed onto his hands, squeezing them to urge out his stories of what he did during the summer. This time, she knew he was getting super red. It was probably because of all the attention she was giving him, and maybe even because he felt embarrassed.

“I mean, we were just talking about other dimensions and interplanetary theories. Nothing as interesting that you got going on.” He averted her eyes which only hurt her a little bit. 

“Liar, that’s plenty interesting. You’re going to have to tell me all about it.” She tried to lessen the awkwardness that he was feeling by smiling at him. Trying to let him know that it was fine to express his interests, that he was in a safe place. She didn’t understand why he still got this way so often, it made no sense. She made sure he felt secure that he was keeping her entertained about everything he was into because it was interesting. She didn’t know why he didn’t clearly see that. “Come on, Barry, you know I would’ve pleaded Merle to let me go to the same camp if I didn’t have the dance thing.”

This made Barry smile widely at her, his eyes finally meeting hers. Her stomach flipped and she could feel her breathing hitch just slightly at just the look of his smile. Gods, she had to cut that out. He didn’t like her like that.

“Okay, I’ll tell you all about it. What’s your schedule like?”

“I have AP bio as a block first thing in the morn.”

“I have that class, too! I can tell you all about it in there then. If you’ll sit next to me?”

“There’s no one else I would rather sit next to.”

Taako cleared his throat from behind her and hit her in the back. Fuck, she was too obvious there. She could feel her face heat up from it and she had to remind herself that she couldn’t do that anymore. She couldn’t try to subtly flirt with him because it might make him feel awkward. Especially since he had a crush on someone else that wasn’t her and gods, why was she like this? 

“Where are the others?” Barry asked after a few awkward minutes in silence. She was making things miserable for the both of them wasn’t she? 

“Creesh had student council and Maggie had football. They took Merle’s car.” Taako pushed himself off the wall and stood in between of Lup and Barry. Good, she needed a buffer, she kept ruining things. “Dav let us borrow his car today since we didn’t wake for anybody this morning.”

“That’s on you dingus, I was up.”

“Yeah, doing what? Wondering how you were going to confess to someone? Who was it again?”

“Taako!”

“Greg Grimaldis?” Taako waggled his eyebrows at her as she felt her face start to burn up. She couldn’t believe that he did that. She looked at Barry with wide eyes and mouth agape, no words coming out.

“Greg?”

“Yeah, homie, she’s been crushing on the loser since sophomore year. Finally going to confess to him with this plan of hers. Wouldn’t stop going on and on about it the entire week I had to deal with her after she got back.” Lup gave Taako a look of complete and utter horror. Why would she of all people be crushing on Greg fucking Grimaldis? The asshole owed her 15 dollars after he took it from her bag to buy himself something during ninth grade. Why would she have a crush on that slimy–oh right. Taako was covering. He was trying to help her with whatever was going on between her and Barry and in doing so, he created this fake crush. Okay, okay, she can play along.

“Oops, cats out of the bag. Speaking of cats, did you feed whats his name again?”

“His name is Lord Better than You, and of course I did. I also gave him his cream this morning because I’m the best fucking cat owner this world has ever seen.” The sudden switch in topic looked like it had given Barry whiplash, and that was intentional. Even though he has been with Taako and her for so long, they were still able to confuse Barry every so often with their sudden changes. It’s a gift.

“Wait...didn’t Greg Grimaldis steal like 15 dollars from you?”

“Hell yeah he did, but as soon as I stared into those sapphire eyes I knew I was done for.” Even saying it made her feel queasy. Why couldn’t Taako give her a better option than Greg Grimaldis of all people? Greg was a slimy rodent who could weasel his way out of any punishment. He didn’t even get in trouble in his thieving, even though there was plenty of evidence and security footage against him.

Greg was just upset because she found a way to get rich quick, and it had everything to do with those 15 fucking dollars. She aimed to collect it back. She had to pay for pointe shoes and a new violin.

“Oh,” Barry stated simply, now completely averting her gaze. He was fiddling with the straps of his backpack.

“Speaking of crushes,” Lup sang, putting her head on Barry’s shoulder and looking up at him expectantly. “A little birdy told me you have a crush!”

“Taako, that was supposed to be our secret!”

“Relax, my man, she has no idea who it is.”

“Still!” Barry mumbled out the last part of what he had to say, his enunciation lost to her even with her hearing. 

“Come on, Barry, tell me who it is. I can keep a secret!” She gushed, poking him on the cheek a bit. She giggled a bit as his face once again became beet red and he kept adjusting his glasses to sit straighter on his face. “Barry come on!”

“They don’t go here!” Barry practically yelled. Probably to get her to stop trying to get it out of him. Oh.  _ Oh.  _ Lup didn’t know what to expect, but she wasn’t expecting this.

She didn’t know, maybe she was holding on to some sort of hope that Taako had been subtly alluding to her when he said Barry had a crush on someone. She knew it was silly, knew that Barry only saw her as a close friend. Still, there was that little grain of hope in the back of her mind that Barry was secretly in love with her. In her mind, it explained why he told Taako and not her, that he was getting permission from Taako to love her and to ask her out. Thinking back, it really was silly and childish.

Barry looked like a fish though, his mouth was comically open, and his eyes practically bulging from his eye sockets. His hands flew up to his mouth after a second or two of just staring.

“Did you meet them at camp?” She tried to mask her disappointment, she really did and she hoped it worked. She knew it didn’t work on Taako because of the quick jab to her side.

It seemed to take Barry a moment to process what she said. His face went through a quick routine of emotions that Lup really couldn’t decipher. Finally, he knocked himself out of his stupor by shaking his head.

“Y-yeah, I uh...I met them at camp.”

“Cool.”

“Cool.”

This was fine.

oOo

This was not fine.

Barry really couldn’t believe what just happened with Lup before the first bell. Whatever it was, it made things too awkward to talk to her during their first class together. It majorly sucked because they sat next to each other still, but didn’t talk like they normally did. Instead, Barry just kept looking at her nervously, hoping she wouldn’t catch him. She seemed to be trancing though, so he had that going for him at least. 

He couldn’t believe what he said. “They don’t go here?” What was he thinking? Of course they went here,  _ they _ were sitting right next to him mid meditation. He never wanted to die more than in that moment. Of course, if he actually said what he thought he said, she would want to die even more. 

He really thought he confessed to Lup right then and there in the hall. Right after he found out she was crushing and planning on confessing to Greg fucking Grimaldis of all people. The fact that he really thought he said that he loved her had him mortified. Then come to find out that he said that they didn’t go here? Barry just really wished that he confessed to her instead of panicking and have his mouth do the talking instead of his brain.

His Stone suddenly buzzed in his pocket, making him startle just slightly. The teacher droned on with typical first day stuff, so Barry thought it was fine to check who texted him. He pulled out his Stone and checked. Of course it was Taako.

_ Taako _

_ 7:40 _

_ Rlly f’d tht 1 up didnt u Barold _

_ Taako  _

_ 7:41 _

_ Like they dont go here??????? BAROLD LOLOLOLOL _

_ UR HELPLESS I CANT!!!!!!!! _

Barry groaned. Taako has been lowkey trying to urge Barry to tell Lup about his super embarrassing crush on her. Barry had always told him that he didn’t want to tell her because he feared ruining his friendship with her. It had nothing to do with rejection, that he knew he had to get used to and it didn’t bother him. But to ruin his friendship between him and Lup...that was something he didn’t want to lose out on. 

He expressed this with Taako during one night he was over at Merle’s house. Lup had gone out with Lucretia for some milkshakes and burgers, something about how it was a meat fest and the girls needed some time to themselves. He felt comfortable to tell Taako this because he knew he wouldn’t tell Lup. At least, he hoped he wouldn’t tell Lup. Apparently some of his secret got out to her, but not the detrimental part. But now, he was sure that Lup was going to ask him about this person he was supposedly crushing on. He didn’t know how long it’ll take her to start asking questions, but he was sure it was coming. 

_ 7:43 _

_ Ughhhhhhhh _

_ Please don’t remind me. _

_ Taako _

_ 7:44 _

_ oh no boyo imma remind u becuz tht was YIKES _

_ 7:45 _

_ I’m ending communication here.  _

_ Taako _

_ 7:46 _

_ cant take the heat my dude??? ur gonna have 2 tell her maybe eventu _

Barry slumped in his chair, putting his Stone on his desk. He knew Taako meant it in good jest, and he didn’t want to push Barry to tell his sister about his crush on her. At the same time though, Barry could feel that Taako was getting antsy for something to go down. He didn’t know what exactly, but he was sure that Taako couldn’t wait to see Lup let him down as nicely as she possibly could. Taako did always have a thing for the dramatics, and he was sure this counted as one. 

His phone buzzed loudly on his desk, making him jump. The teacher stopped talking mid-sentence and looked over in his direction.

“On that note, Stones of Farspeech will not be allowed in this class unless I have approved of what you’re using it for. So please, put them up right now.”

Barry grabbed for his Stone quickly and put it in his lap, keeping his head down from the embarrassment of it all. 

“Never thought you would get lowkey called out.” Lup was now up from her meditation leaning over to him from her desk. Barry could feel his face heat up as he looked over to her, his inner thoughts begging him to kiss her right here right now. 

No, that was not a good idea. That was a terrible idea, especially since she trusted him with knowing that she was crushing on Greg fucking Grimaldis (not really, thanks to Taako.) Also, there was still that whole thing with their almost kiss during the summer of sophomore year. They never really brought it up again after it happened. They just swept it under the rug and pretended it never happened in the first place. That would be the only explanation Barry gave to himself as to what happened. Magnus was the only one to see what almost happened, but he never questioned either of them about it. It made Barry think that Magnus had no idea what he interrupted that fateful day, which made Barry relieved. He hadn’t even told Taako about it and he had no idea if Lup told him or not, but he could assume that since Taako hadn’t called him out on it, that she didn’t.

It was their little secret and he was very grateful for that.

“Who did it in for you?” Barry snapped out of his thoughts and cleared his head. Lup was peering over to see if she could catch a glimpse of whoever was texting him. He knew that there wasn’t anything really revealing about the messages. They were vague enough that Lup wouldn’t necessarily draw it back to her. Though, she would know that he lied to her about the person not going here and then maybe she would draw the conclusion. Even worse, she would think it was someone else in their friend group. Worse if she thought that he and Taako were a thing and they were just trying to cover it up.

He was getting irrational over this.

“Taako,” he answered, shoving his Stone in his pocket in hopes that would stop her from peering into it. “He was just wondering if he could have dinner at my house.”

“What? Taako said that we were having a back to school dinner party! That asshole is ditching me?” She blew a strand of hair out of her face and huffed, turning back in her chair. “I mean, I get it, I would ditch the dinner party too to hang out with you and Mama, but now I don’t even get the choice to do so? Rude.”

“I mean, you could always come with him?”

“Nah, he’s been acting weird lately. Supes more cagey than usual. Also, someone has to fix the hungry beasts after school today, and Merle’s cooking is gross as fuck. Davenport’s is fine if you like unseasoned military styled food.” Lup dug out her own Stone, texting very noticeably for the teacher to see. 

“Who are you texting?”

“Tikkity Tak. I’m making sure he hears the over dramatized version of my hurt. Choosing friendship over his own flesh and blood? We shared the fucking womb with one another and he goes and betrays me?” Despite the aggression in her voice, Lup looked like she was trying to hold back her laughter as she texted her brother. 

“Aren’t you worried about getting caught?” He already knew the answer to this. Taako and Lup had most of the teachers wrapped around their fingers. The few that actually didn’t like them very much would end up disappearing eventually. Lup had said it was because no one could hate twins. Taako said that it was because of their natural charm and beauty. Barry knew it was because they were secretly teacher’s pets. He also knew that he also didn’t have to worry about teachers confiscating his Stone, Taako and Lup’s influence went out to everyone in their little friend group.

“Nah, this teacher and I go way back. She’s been trying to get me to take her class since last year.” Lup very dramatically sent out the message and sighed as she clanked her Stone down on her desk. The teacher didn’t even look over at her, instead just continued going over the syllabus. 

“Hey, Lu?” He knew he shouldn’t be asking this question, she had told him point blank in the hall, but he had to know. Maybe she was being pressured by Taako to say it, or maybe it was another one of the twins goofs. He didn’t know. Lup hummed in response, looking over at him with a small smile on her face. Her eyes were soft while looking at him and he forgot how to breathe for just a second. He forgot his question for a split second, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. His mind finally caught up to him after looking like a dumbass and he shook out the molasses in his brain. “Do you really have a crush on Greg Grimaldis?”

He felt slimy for asking. If she did then she did, who was he to judge? He was the one who couldn’t confess to her. He really was a loser. Lup pondered the question for a second, listing her head to the side and Barry had to bite his cheek to keep from sighing over how cute she looked. Why was he such a creep?

She pursed her lips together and furrowed her eyebrows. She seemed to really be thinking about her answer and it made Barry anxious. Did he mess up? He really should’ve kept it to himself. If she liked someone then he should’ve just accepted it and moved on, not ask her whether or not she really liked him.

“No,” she answered simply. Barry looked at her with wide eyes, not really knowing what to say. “But I do have a crush on someone. Just not Grimaldis. Taako was just goofing.” Barry could’ve sworn he saw her eyes go just a tad bit softer while looking at him, and pink start to dust on her features. Maybe she was thinking about her crush. “How about you?”

“What about me?”

“Do you really have a crush on someone from camp?”

It was Barry’s turn to ponder. Should he tell her he loved her and have since kindergarten? No, this wasn’t the right place for that. Confessing his love for Lup in the middle of AP bio was so far from what he wanted. He could keep on the lie and say that he did like someone from camp, but it didn’t feel right. Nor did it feel right saying that he did have a crush on someone and they went here. She would be able to figure it out from there. She would know about his crush on her and then tell him it would never happen. He couldn’t break his friendship with her like that.

“No. I don’t know where Taako got the idea that I had a crush on someone. I think he overheard me talking about some science thing to be honest.” He felt like throwing up for lying to her. Her face went through a series of emotions that he couldn’t place until her face broke out in a strained smile.

“Pfft, Nerd.” She reached over and ruffled his hair. Barry thought he heard some undertones of hurt in her voice, but he didn’t say anything. They didn’t talk for the rest of the class period.

xOx

Lup was stressed.

She hadn’t heard a thing from her brother in three days, and even Barry was giving her the silent treatment. Lucretia had been texting her a little bit and Magnus...well, Magnus was too busy texting someone else. She was lucky if she was going to get a response from him before the end of the week. 

She knew that Taako was probably going to be petty and ignore her. He was so upset with the idea of her leaving him for this winter program that he gave her the silent treatment up until the morning before she left. He had crawled into bed with her that night held onto her like she was the only person keeping him from combusting. She knew why he did this. He had separation anxiety and took it out by being petty. He had said that he was sorry to her, that he didn’t mean to make her feel bad about leaving. She told him it was fine and had wrapped him up in her arms. She promised that she would text him everyday and she would be back before he knew it. They pinky swore and Taako apologized again for being a dick and told her that he was proud of her accomplishments and that he loved her.

They didn’t normally get so touchy feely like that with one another and it had caught her by surprise.

Just like she promised, she texted him everyday. For the first week, he had done the same, posting pictures of what everyone was doing, showing candid shots of Barry which got her laughing hysterically between classes. It also made her homesick. She missed everyone. She missed girls night with Lucretia, missed playing video games with Magnus, missed cooking with Taako, and she especially missed Barry.

Her phone vibrated and she pounced on it. It was Lucretia and a small smile appeared on her face.

_ Hot Diggity Shit it’s Madame Director _

_ 10:03  _

_ Candle Nights is gonna suck without you though. :( _

Lup chuckled at the use of the emoticon. She and Taako had just got her using some just this year. Her favorite had to be the smiley face, and with Lucretia’s texting style, it was hard to decipher whether or not she was displeased with what you said, or if she was genuinely happy.

_ 10:04 _

_ I mean i’ll be back the day after CN. maybe we can do something then? _

_ I wanna have a girls night when i get back. the amount of shit these girls say here is motherfucking wild. cant wait to tell you all about it ;) _

_ Hot Diggity Shit it’s Madame Director _

_ 10:06 _

_ Please, I need to tell you all the shit that student council is trying to pull on me. I’m losing my mind. The thread is absolutely bonkers. I need someone sane. _

_ 10:07 _

_ is this Creesh’s subtle way to get me to join sc? because it’s only working a lil bit. _

_ Hot Diggity Shit it’s Madame Director _

_ 10:07 _

_ Please? :) _

  
  


_ 10:08 _

_ ….. _

_ where do i sign up? _

_ Hot Diggity Shit it’s Madame Director _

_ 10:09 _

_ !!!!!!! :) :) :) _

_ Thank you, thank you, thank you. Just sign up for it during course selection! :) _

_ Love and miss you, Lup. <3 _

_ 10:10 _

_ Love and miss you too Creesha <3 _

Lup smiled as she clicked her Stone off and setting it on her end table. It really was so lonely here. Sure, Davenport was in the room just beside her, but it was different. She loved Davenport, he was one of the best father figures that she’s ever had, but she also missed the chaos at home. She missed her brother and how he yelled at Merle for trying to sneak off with some food. She missed being able to just talk to Lucretia in person. Texting was fine and all, but she really needed one of her best friends right now. She missed Magnus giving her piggyback rides around the mall especially. That was always fun for security.

Of course she missed Barry. That was a given. Though, their relationship seemed a bit strained at the moment. She knew that she lied to him about Greg and all that, but he had lied about being in love with someone in the first place. She didn’t know that suddenly they were lying to one another. It wasn’t even like she told a big lie either, she told him that she was in love with someone, just not Greg. He had lied in general about being in love with someone to begin with. True, Taako was the one who spread the rumor, but still...it still hurt her. There was suddenly a rift between them, and while they were still friends and hung out with one another, there was something different. Lup now knew that her feelings were super unrequited and it’d be a waste of time to even tell him.

She felt like screaming. For four years she’s known she’s been in love with him and all of it was fornot. She should’ve known that science was going to come in place of love every single time.

Okay, that was irrational. She was just angry now and felt stupid for loving and for hoping someone would feel the same way. She needed to get over Barry Bluejeans and fast. Sure, four years was a long time to have loved someone and it wasn’t going to go away overnight, but she can get some help, right? There was that cute male dancer she was partnered with. She could get her flirt on with him and he can help her forget all about Barry.

But that wouldn’t be fair to that male dancer, and sure he was really attractive, but he wasn’t her type. He was more so Taako’s type if she was thinking about it. Still, she really needed to get over Barry. She was apparently wasting her time being in love with him.

Lup pushed herself off the floor and over to her dance bag. Her shoes had been worrying her for a bit, teetering a bit too close to being dead. She didn’t expect to be dancing so much, which she knew was dumb of her to expect, but it wasn’t like she had another pair of shoes lined up to go in her other shoes stead. She had been hoping that these shoes would last a bit longer before digging into her savings from her part time job, and then asking Davenport to help her pay for the rest. She knew that if she went professional then she would need new shoes practically every day.

She dug her shoes out and began to inspect them with great care. The pink satin on the box was beginning to fray big time which she knew didn’t look cute. Her shank wasn’t looking too good either if she were being honest. It’s fine. She’ll be fine, morning classes weren’t that strenuous. During her big gap after class, she can just go get a new pair and adhere it to her needs. She’ll have to ask Davenport for some money, but she knew that he’d rather her be safe.

Her shoes weren’t so dead yet. They can survive warm-ups and some turns. It’s fine, they’re fine. She shoved the shoes back in her dance bag and set her alarm for the next morning. She nestled into bed and checked her stone one last time before sleeping. Taako nor Barry had texted her back. It was fine. They were probably busy. Still, she sent out a quick good night text to all her friends.

Her alarm spoke up way too soon. She felt gross and really wanted to go back to sleep. She knew she couldn’t. She quickly turned off the alarm and got out of bed. She did her morning stretches as she got ready for the day. She grabbed her bag and exited her room, picking up her stone on the way out. She checked for messages, but there was nothing there for her. She tried to shield her disappointment but knew she was failing. Three more days. Taako can get the earful she’s been preparing for him for leaving her hanging. 

Davenport had a simple breakfast set up for her, a strawberry banana smoothie with some eggs. She smiled gratefully at him.

“Thanks, Dav!”

Davenport nodded and ate his own breakfast in peace, sipping some coffee as he read his newspaper. Lup sat down and began to eat her eggs. She had well over an hour to get to the studio so she was fine for the most part. Her pointe shoes were haunting her though.

“Hey, Dav?” Davenport looked up at her, an eyebrow raised. “Can I borrow some money? I’m sorry for asking, but my pointe shoes are now basically dead and I need to get a new pair and–” Davenport put a hand on her hand and she stopped her explanation. She looked at him, his warm brown eyes full of joy and love. She breathed deeply, instantly relaxed around him. It was still hard to ask for money for things. He knew that. Asking for face masks was one thing, but asking for money was completely different. He nodded as he hopped down from his stool and over to his room. He came back with his wallet, handing her a 100 dollar bill.

“Dav, this is too much, I was only asking for like 40 and then I could cover the rest with money from my part-time–”

Davenport shook his head and grabbed her hands again, putting the 100 dollar bill in her hands. She tried to speak up again, but he silenced her, reaching up to put a hand on her cheek. The touch shocked her. Davenport, while she knew loved her, wasn’t really big on the whole physical affection. Not really even with Merle. The touch caught her off guard. He was making sure she was paying attention to her. He took his hand off her cheek and started to sign.

_ ‘Love you,’  _ he signed. Lup could feel the tears well up in her eyes. She got off the stool and wrapped Davenport in her arms and started to sob.

“I love you, too, Dav.” At that, Davenport squeezed her harder and she could feel the wetness of his own tears. She had always known that Davenport cared for her, but the simple sign he gave her...it changed everything. He cared about her, cared about her hobby so much and she was so grateful for him. Grateful that she was placed in a home where she had two people who cared for her so much. 

Davenport patted her back and she got the message. She was going to be late if she kept hanging around here. She untangled herself from the hug and wiped away her tears. She saw Davenport do the same, but she wasn’t about to call him out for it. 

“I’ll see you after class, kay?”

Davenport nodded and she kissed his cheek before getting up and taking her smoothie and bag. She waved goodbye to Davenport and left their apartment, starting her trek to the studio. 

It was a freezing morning, her elf genetics not helping in the slightest with the cold. She had the quick thought of how she wished Barry were here before kicking herself about that. She needed to get over him. No more would she be in love with Barry Bluejeans. She didn’t need a man, she had herself and that was perfectly fine. She loved herself, herself was great. She’ll finally feel like her again once she got over these feelings for him. She hadn’t seen that girl since sixth grade. Damn, she missed her. 

Did she really though? Did she miss herself before she started loving Barry? She couldn’t remember a time where she didn’t love him. Her feelings for him were always there, all the way back when she first met him, but she didn’t have a name for it back then. It was only until seventh grade did she finally put a name to what she was feeling. She had always had feelings for him...she has never not been in love with Barry. Would she be losing herself once she gave up her feelings? Would she even know who that Lup was? 

She will still be the same person. She shouldn’t put all of her own identity into a fucking boy. That was stupid and silly. She was her own person. It was just a coincidence that she’s been crushing on Barry since technically kindergarten and loving him since seventh. So what if this has been her whole life sort of thing. There were more boys out there. Barry was only her first love. She shouldn’t put all her eggs in one basket just yet. She had her whole life ahead of her.

Besides, Barry wouldn’t even be there when she was officially an adult in elf terms. It was morbid to think about, but Barry, Mama Bluejeans, Magnus, Lucretia...they were all tiny blimps in she and Taako’s lives. Sure, there were devices now for humans to extend their lives to match those of elves, but they were inconsistent and tended to fail most of the time. Elves still lived to at most 700 years. Humans were lucky if they got to 200 if they used that device and maybe around 100 without it. 

She climbed on the subway, her thoughts plaguing her. It’s true, though. She was only 16, but even if Barry lived to 100, he’ll be a withered old man by then. She’ll still look like she was in her 20’s. A relationship between her and Barry just wouldn’t be possible. It was why elf and human relationships were so unpopular in the first place. No one wanted to see the person they loved so dearly grow old and die while they were still young. 

These thoughts were going through her head all throughout her trek to the studio. Suddenly, the cold didn’t bother her much anymore. She was still thinking about this as she was getting ready and lacing up her pointe shoes. Her head wasn’t on right and she knew it. Morbid thoughts kept coming in and out like a revolving door. She would have to experience all of her dear friends grow old and die while she stayed young. Her life as a dancer would be far longer than all of the human dancers. It was why elf dancers were so sought out for. If they can train properly and carefully then they could have dramatically longer careers. It was also a little off putting to have such a long life. There was so much that she could do, much more than her human counterparts. Barry had one goal in mind which was scientist, meanwhile, she could go to school to be a scientist in her 200’s and it’ll be no skin off her nose. Human life was just so fragile. Why did they live for such a short time? 

Her head wasn’t in what she was doing, she was running through the motions. She should’ve been making sure her shoe was fine, should’ve been double checking just in case something was off. But she wasn’t. She was too busy worrying over human life spans that she didn’t catch herself properly. It was a simple grand jeté, but she did something off and her shank...her shank just gave out from the pressure. It all happened too fast, one moment she was in the air thinking about how to extend human life, the next she was on the floor, hearing the worst thing she could’ve heard in all her life.

It was deafening. The cracks her left foot made had her praying that it wasn’t her. That it wasn’t how bad she thought it was. That she didn’t just break her fucking ankle. She couldn’t have. Her feet cracked all the time. This was normal, she was fine. She could go on. 

She could see the stares as people began to come around her. Her partner coming up right next to her, assessing the situation gently. She shook him off. She was fine. Her ankle wasn’t broken, she could go on. Her feet made those noises all the time. She started to try to get up, right foot taking up the brunt of the work. Her foot was fine, she could still dance. She didn’t break her ankle on a grand jeté of all things. Her shank didn’t give out like it did, she was fine. She stood up, mindful of her left foot. She swept some loose wisps out of her face and tried to walk away. She tried, but as soon as she put pressure on her left foot she felt herself falling. The pain that shot through her was unlike any other she’s ever experienced. She saw white as she toppled over again, someone’s hands catching her.

She wanted to cry. Except she couldn’t. She was too in shock over what happened that no tears happened. She couldn’t cry, she was just left there shocked over what happened. 

It was all a blur after that. The dance mistress came running over, taking off her traitor of a pointe shoe and tutting over how dead it was. She was asking questions, but Lup didn’t know how to answer. She just didn’t know what to do except just sit there. Her partner started taking over some questions. Apparently they talked frequently enough that he knew who her guardian was. 

She didn’t realize that they had brought her to the nurses office until she was in there. Someone had shocked her with some ice, making her come out of her stupor. Her brain was suddenly registering the pain in her foot, and even though the ice was helping it stay numb, the pain leftover was so unbearable that she started to whimper. She would not scream. She would not cry. She wouldn’t.

She was doing so well about her whole not crying until Davenport walked in. He looked so frantic and signing hysterically at everyone who couldn’t understand what he was trying to say. But Lup knew. She knew enough sign language to be able to talk to Davenport with little to no barrier. She knew.

_ ‘My daughter. What happened to my daughter? My Lup?’  _ Seeing him sign that so frantically, she started to sob. She was such a disappointment. Davenport had given her the money this morning, she should’ve went down to the shoe shop before her class. This wouldn’t have happened then. She would still be fine if she had just bought the damn shoes earlier. 

She knew she would be able to dance again, she was an elf. This could take a while to heal, but in the end, she would be able to dance. She may have to postpone her plans till she was in 100’s as most elf dancers did when they get injured, but no one here would be able to see her dance in a company. 

Mama Bluejeans, Lucretia, Magnus, Merle, Davenport...Barry, they’ll all be dead by the time they clear her to do more company things. They would never see her dance in a company. This was her only chance and she blew it. She had to break her fucking ankle. Ballet companies liked to make sure that elf dancers were well and fully recovered after a break like this. They waited till they were officially adults after things like this. 

She sobbed even harder. She didn’t want to see everyone around her die. She didn’t want them to die. Why couldn’t she have made friends with other elves? Why couldn’t they all be elvish? Why did everyone have to die? She cursed being an elf. Why couldn’t she and Taako be human instead? It’d be so much easier. They wouldn’t have to worry about being on their own again.

Because that’s what they both feared. They knew it will be only the two of them in the future. That they shouldn’t get close to any humans, but it was too hard. They loved their friends and family so much and they’ll be the last to die. It wasn’t fair. She wanted more time with them. She wanted them to have her life expectancy. She didn’t want to be the last one to die. 

Maybe that was the underlying reason as to why she refused to tell Barry how she felt. She knew that her life with him would only be a blink of an eye. People could tell her all the time to cherish the time she spent with them, but it was hard. Especially since they happened to early in her life. How desperately she wished that they had all been born later in her life. Maybe when she was in her 600’s and looking old. Would that be fair to them, though? She didn’t want to live without them though. 

She wanted all of them to live forever with her and Taako where they could be with one another and experience each other’s lives. They wouldn’t have mortality hanging over their heads and her and Barry...there might be something to form there.

Live forever...just like in Mama Bluejeans’ research. They had a lot to discuss when she returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was super long! Sorry about that. It was supposed to be pretty short, but apparently I had more to add in this yea? So many ideas needed to happen, so many words. Next Tuesday will be the last year of high school! Will they get together then? I don't know. Yes I do. After next chapter, I'm probably going to be taking a break until the end of semester because everything is happening all at once and I'm stressed. I could break that, I haven't decided. I love writing this fic so much that I don't really want to take a break from it, oops.
> 
> Thank you guys so much for all the kudos, bookmarks, and comments! The tears really are a happening every night!
> 
> My Tumblr is @moonlightxstars if you guys wanna interact!
> 
> See y'all next Tuesday!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junior year part 2

To be completely fair, Taako had no idea that Lup would escalate the goof that far. Also to be fair, he knew that it could have gone two ways depending on her mood. He had assumed that he read her mood right, had thought that she might’ve smack him for even suggesting that she could have any romantic attraction towards Greg fucking Grimaldis. Instead, it went down the direction that he thought didn’t have a chance with Lup. The path that had crossed his mind for an instant, only to sponge it out because there was absolutely no way that he could be so off base about something like this.

Except, he was completely off base about it. Off base about his twin–the one person he thought he had down to a science. It had alarmed him when she went along with the goof. He felt the cold dread creep down his spine as he realized that he could no longer tell which direction Lup would go. That summer long dance program put a shift between them. They were suddenly not on the same wavelength and it seemed that Lup had developed a second brain cell that she was too stingy to share apparently.

He made sure to cover it up in front of her though. Tried to make it seem like he wasn’t suddenly panicking over not knowing his favorite person anymore. He hoped it worked. It seemed like it did because Lup didn’t call him out on his off behavior. Maybe they both forgot how the other felt. Their connection was snipped he thought. He could no longer tell what Lup was feeling or thinking and he felt the dread creep into him. They were suddenly separate from one another and Taako didn’t know how to cope.

Of course they had always been a separate person from the other. That much was obvious. Though, they were still one with another. Lup was his heart and vice versa. They were joined at the hip, and suddenly they were cut off from one another and Taako didn’t know how to get back to her.

So, on the morning when Lup had to go, he held onto her more tightly. It was only for two weeks. He could survive without Lup for two weeks, just like he survived without her for a month and two weeks when she left for the summer session. Everything was going to be fine. He was going to be fine, she was going to be fine. Nothing was going to happen. Everything would carry on as normal.

That didn’t help his anxiousness though. 

He liked to pretend that he didn’t get anxious. He was Taako. Anxious and his name didn’t sound good together, so why even try it out? He was as cool as a cucumber and successfully managed to have everyone believing he was aloof and uncaring. His family knew better, of course. Especially Lup. Lup who squeezed his extra hard at the airport before she left and tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear. Lup who left him notes around their room to make sure he was doing everything he was supposed to do. Lup who kept her promise of texting him every single day, sending goofy photos of herself and her friends she had made at dance. It warmed his heart to see her having so much fun. She even talked to him well into the morning on one of her days off. She caught him up with everything that she had been doing, checking in on him, and telling him how much she wanted to see him again. 

He shared the same sentiment. He couldn’t wait to have Lup back. Couldn’t wait to hear her laugh in person once again and then he’d make fun of her cackle and how she sounded like a witch. She’d stick her tongue out at him and tug his ear, causing him to cry out in overdramatic pain. He’d grab a pillow and start smacking her with it. She would join in on this and after ten minutes of good pillow fighting, they’d collapse laughing in their shared cackle and poke each other in the sides gasping for breath as they bicker over who had the worst laugh. Eventually, they’d wrap each other up in an embrace and pass out. Finally together again as it should be.

At least...that’s what Taako hoped for. With all the changes in Lup, he didn’t know what to expect. She might surprise him entirely and tell him to grow up already. She might leave to her own bed and ignore him for the rest of the night. He didn’t know what he’d do if she did that. 

What if the dance thing was a way to get away from him?

He knew he was being irrational. Lup had always wanted to be a dancer. He’s known that since the womb practically. Their mother had always bemoaned how active they were in the womb, and Taako liked to think that Lup was practicing her dance moves just to piss her off. Taako knew that he lazily sat back. Taako didn’t do the physical movement thing. He was being petty and insecure. He knew that. He also missed his sister.

Ever since the little first day of school fiasco, Lup and his relationship have been off kilter. No one outside of them would’ve noticed it, and he didn’t even know if Lup noticed. But he felt it. They were off. He felt it every time they were in the kitchen together trying to get dinner together. They were bumping into each other more, more annoyed huffs of contention by both of them. Taako had even bumped into her elbow while she was cutting some vegetables once, causing her to slice one of her fingers. It was a shallow cut, but it was enough to jolt him into the realization that there was definitely something off with them. He had never done that. They had never done that. Now, suddenly they were and it was freaking him out. 

Of course he had also noticed a shift between her and Barry. It was a pretty big shift because they weren’t really talking. They were avoiding each other very pointedly for a bizarre reason. One that Taako had no idea about. It was probably because of his goof, the one that didn’t hit well and that Lup for some reason carried out with. He didn’t get his sister and he had ruined their friendship. Gods, why did he say anything? Why did he want to stir the pot between them?

Maybe because he was frustrated with the two of them. All throughout sophomore year they were dancing around each other. He would catch Lup looking at Barry and then when Lup would turn away he would see Barry looking at Lup. He was getting annoyed with it all. It was cute to see the first year or so, but now it was getting a little old. They would look away so quickly and start giggling like elementary children. Forget it when he was alone with them. It was always  _ ‘Lup this’  _ and  _ ‘oh my gods, Taako did you see what Barry did today?’  _ and  _ ‘Lup is just so smart! Did you hear what she said in chemistry today?’ _ He was getting tired of being the one person who knew about their crush on one another. He was also getting tired of hearing the both of them gush over the other. He knew that he said that they could take their time with one another, but this was getting ridiculous. Why couldn’t they be like those military people who propose after a week of knowing one another? That would make his life so much easier. 

Still, he sort of missed hearing the gushing and seeing how his sister got giddy every time Barry sent her a text. How the tips of her ears would darken and her legs kicked excitedly. He would always hear her giggling and see her tucking in a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. Now, she would look expectantly at her stone, constantly checking for messages, only to get disappointed when there wouldn’t be anything. He also experienced it with Barry in their English class they shared. Lup was constantly texting the both of them, but suddenly, she was more interested in her school work. She would send Taako a text every so often during the period. Maybe to tell him that she had practice after school and he could either stay or find a new ride home. Or send a meme that she found funny. Barry? Not so much. Every time Taako would get a text, he would see Barry swoop in for his phone, only to realize that it was Taako’s phone. The look of disappointment always got to him.

He didn’t even know what happened between them that would warrant radio silence on both ends. Sure, he goofed too hard, but that shouldn’t have caused that much of a rift between them. They should’ve been fine. Why were they suddenly acting so weird? 

He tried to bring it up to the both of them once. They immediately shut him down by saying they were fine. Everything was fine. Why would he think that everything was less than fine?

It was so obviously not fine. 

He expected it from Lup to say that things were fine. It was her go to saying when things were obviously not fine. Barry? Not so much. He was too honest. Which, apparently, he also overestimated when Barry lied and said that his crush didn’t go there. Taako wanted to yell right then and there about how dumb the two of them were. He also wanted to yell at himself for thinking it was a good idea to even bring up that Barry loved someone. Why couldn’t he just let Lup have her little plan going? Maybe they’d be in a different situation right now.

Except, they wouldn’t be. Even with the weird rift between them at the moment, Taako knew that his sister would not have followed through with that plan. She had made tons of plans before, and none of them had ever been followed through. Hearing her go on and on about another plan...well, it had got him thinking. Maybe he could just do it for them? Totes not up his alley, but he was tired of seeing them dance around awkwardly with one another. He had planned for Lup to deny that she was in love with Greg Grimaldis and that he was being stupid. He had planned for her to accidentally slip she was in love with Barry in front of them. Then, he was prepared for her stuttering out a response, to which he had planned for Barry to confess. Then he would turn around as 12 years of pent up feelings finally came into fruition. 

It had gone so much better in his head and he should’ve known better than to expect those two idiots to follow through on his well thought out script. That wasn’t very litty titty of them. Then again, his script had a lot of holes in it. A lot of holes that he was too proud to admit. Normally he would say that he was just a dumb wizard and move on with his life. But this was his sister and his best friend. It was different. Now, they weren’t talking and his and Lup’s relationship was now off.

And it was all his fault.

Taako knew that. He wasn’t that much of a dumb wizard to not know that it was his fault. He also knew that he had to somehow fix it because that was responsible or some shit. He didn’t know. He was just trying to help but he ended up messing it up. 

He found himself in front of Lucretia’s door for that reason. He didn’t know how he would broach the topic with her, didn’t think that he could without revealing Barry and Lup’s secret. That wouldn’t be great of him to do. He already messed it up enough. He was reeling on what to ask her when a shadow was cast over him.

“Is Creesh in there?” Asked a loud voice behind him. Taako jumped. He knew Magnus’s voice by now, he had been living with him for years. Though, that didn’t stop him from jumping out of his skin every time the big guy snuck up on him.

“Dunno, I was ‘bout to check in on that sitch. Whatcha need Lucretia for?” 

“Personal things.” Magnus was guarding a secret. Taako watched as he held his stone closer to his chest as he began to look around nervously. 

“What kind of personal things?” A smile creeped on his face. Magnus was the worst at keeping secrets. He knew that, everyone knew that. It was why when he and Lup had accidentally broke Merle’s favorite pot they refused to tell Magnus about it. As great as he was, he really couldn’t tell a lie. His face got all red and he would keep wiping his palms on his pants until he finally broke and confess everything. Yeah, they couldn’t have that. Taako and Lup didn’t tell the only other person in the house that could’ve helped them, and Merle’s pot had just suddenly disappeared. All was fine.

“Very personal, very secretive things! Come on Taako don’t look at me like that!” In response to that, Taako wiggled his eyebrows at him, his smile creeping further to his eyes. He knew that he had Magnus beat. Magnus sighed, his shoulders sagging as he turned his stone around so Taako could see who was texting him. “I’ve been texting Julia recently.”

“So? Why is that a secret?”

“It’s not! It...look, I have a super crush on her, alright? She’s just so super cool and really funny and great to talk to! I’ve been asking Lucretia on how to ask her out...but it just doesn’t seem right!” Magnus explained, now looking at the screen of his stone. He kept scrolling up on the screen, sighing softly at the messages between them.

Nope, nope, nope, nope. Taako could only deal with two hopeless in love idiots. He was not adding a third. Taako was good out here on that one. 

“That’s a something there, big guy. Good luck with everything. See ya.” Taako turned to leave back to his room. He knew that he needed to tell someone about what was going on with Lup and Barry. But who was he going to tell? He couldn’t tell anyone in this house, they wouldn’t be able to keep a secret to save their lives. Except for Lucretia, but she seems to have her hands full with Magnus’s issue. Might as well keep her load light because troubling her with Barry and Lup’s mess might just tip her over the edge just a bit.

“Wait, Taako, where are you going?” There was a certain whine in Magnus’s voice that made Taako internally groan. Did he really want to have him stay to hear what Lucretia had to tell him about how to get a girl? Taako didn’t need any help in that department, thank you very much. Maybe if there was an advice column about how to get out of being the somewhat go to when it came to crushes then he’d be good. He needed to go to someone to get this off his chest. He was getting tired of Barry and Lup being bad at communicating with one another. He was getting really exhausted with his sister and best friend not telling him what the fuck was going on with them. He was also on the brink of death with his current stance on his and Lup’s flow. Nothing made sense. 

He really could go to one person about this. When he thought about them, it all made sense. Of course, he should’ve thought about them in the first place.

“Out.” Was all he answered, hurrying to his room to not be stopped again. He’ll make it up to Magnus later by making his favorite dinner. 

He slammed his door closed, going straight to his stone that was sitting on his bed. He made a mental note that Lup hadn't texted him yet which made his stomach churn uncomfortably. She usually texted by now. Why hadn’t she texted him yet? He wiped that from his mind and scrolled down through his contacts. 

_ 3:34 _

_ I need an adult _

He sent the message and began to get ready for the cold weather outside the actually warm house. Thank the gods Merle actually invested in keeping the house warm. He said it was just for the plants. Taako knew that it was actually because one winter he and Lup nearly froze to death due to the cold and Merle had been on edge ever since then.

He didn’t really have to check his stone for the answer because he already knew that answer. Even when his stone vibrated he knew the answer. He still checked it anyway.

_ Actual Adult _

_ 3:38 _

_ On my way. _

_ Marlena Hallwinter, PhD _

Taako snorted at her sign off. He knew that Mama Bluejeans didn’t know how to turn it off and on, plus it would be too much of a hassle since she used the same stone for school and personal use. Maybe he can scour some money together to get her a personal stone for Candlenights. If that’s how it was going to be, he had to make sure to get more hours at his part time so he can get everyone a gift this year. If all went to shit, he can always bake something for them.

About half an hour later, his stone vibrated again. He checked the phone, a tinge of hope that it was Lup, only to be mildly disappointed that it wasn’t.

_ Actual Adult  _

_ 4:08 _

_ Here. :) _

_ Marlena Hallwinter, PhD _

Relief went through him. He was finally going to get it off his chest. Mama Bluejeans was the best one for the job after all. He wondered why he hadn’t gone to her first about this and let it boil up. Maybe it was because Lup knew her better than he did and he felt sort of uncomfortable to go to her sometimes. Even so, Mama Bluejeans was the best one. She was Barry’s mother and she had been trying to get Lup and Barry together. He had seen it. Caught her eye sometimes when Barry and Lup were being particularly obvious. She always had a certain smirk on her face and Taako understood. 

He ran out of the house into the blistering cold air. Merle was out at work so he didn’t have to explain to him where he was going. Magnus knew he was going out so he can tell Lucretia about his departure. Besides, if they really wanted to get ahold of him, they could just text him to see where he was at. That was if he actually answered. Time with Mama Bluejeans was precious time, and he didn’t get to spend much time with her.

He saw the old familiar blue minivan parked in the driveway. From the windshield window, he could see Mama Bluejeans, head down looking down at her stone. He hurried to the car, pulling open the passenger door as dramatically as possible.

“Alright, Marlena, do I have things to tell you.” Taako announced as he flopped himself into the passenger seat. He heard Mama Bluejeans chuckle a little bit at his entrance as she cranked the heat up a little more for him. He slammed the car door behind him and looked at Mama with a mock defeated look.

“Are these  _ things _ hot chocolate and warm biscuits appropriate?” 

“Hell yeah they are!” Mama cleared her throat at his comment good naturedly, looking at him with serious eyes. She was playing up the mother role for a bit. “I mean, heck yeah.”

Mama Bluejeans smiled as she waited for him to buckle before putting the car into drive. She let him get his thoughts organized for the time being, only asking him how he was and making small talk with him. He appreciated this about Mama Bluejeans. Sure he didn’t know her as well as Lup, but she still tried to make it a bit more comfortable for him. She really was the best mother figure he’s ever had.

When they arrived at the bakery, Mama ordered the hot cocoas and some warm biscuits, letting him choose a seat. He chose a table near the heater, feeling the cold creeping in from the outside just a bit too much for his liking. Mama Bluejeans came back with the drinks and sat down, handing him his drink and biscuit. She let them sit in silence for a moment, obviously letting him choose when to speak.

“Where’s Barold?” It was something easy. He hadn’t seen much of Barry during break, only really seeing him for the first few days of it when Magnus dragged all of them out to the park. Barry hadn’t really talked much. Instead, he would just look at his stone longingly for a while before putting it away again. Then, he’d rinse and repeat.

Mama sighed, putting down her mug as she rubbed her forehead. Taako didn’t notice anyone aging most of the time, but in this moment, he realized just how old she had gotten. Her hair was thinner now and her eyes held crows feet from smiling so often. He really didn’t know how he felt. Most elves didn’t have wrinkles since they didn’t really start getting them until around 400, and once that started, they normally put up a glamour to appear younger than they actually were. Humans had other means of looking younger, some used the same glamour, and others botox. Mama Bluejeans though, she never seemed to care much about how old she’s gotten. She seemed to wear it like a badge of honor. It perplexed him since he thought everyone just wanted to look younger.

“He’s been in the lab most of break. Only coming out for dinner. If that. I’m getting a little worried. Did something happen between him and the friend group? I’ve never seen him like this.” She confided, swirling her drink just a bit. She furrowed her eyebrows, and Taako understood just a bit. Barry wasn’t only avoiding the friend group, he was also avoiding Mama Bluejeans which wasn’t very gucci of him. Especially since Mama didn’t do anything. 

“I don’t really know if we’re being completely honest here.” Mama gave him a look. “I am being honest! I swear on Lup’s life! Now you know I’m being honest. Lup’s been acting weird.” 

Mama startled at this, cocking her head to one side.

“She has been?”

“Yeah. Barely talking to me even, let alone speaking to Barry.”

“Do you think...no, I would’ve known by now.”

“What?” Mama Bluejeans started to get a look on her face that reminded Taako all too much of a face that Barry has pulled while doing an experiment. Slotting everything into a certain position until she finally found what she was looking for.

“Do you think Barry confessed to Lup and it didn’t go well?” That took Taako off guard. Of course Mama would’ve known about Barry’s feelings for Lup, that’s why he contacted her about it in the first place.

“No, because there’s no way it would’ve went south.”

“Really?”

“Yeah really, Lu–look, Marlena–I’m calling you Marlena right now because this is serious and not a goof–you have to promise me that whatever is discussed here in this little ma and pop bakery that it stays here, compeesh?” Mama for her part actually looked serious and even crossed her heart to tell him to carry on. “Okay, well, if Barry had confessed to Lup then those two would be mackin it up like no tomorrow. Also, Barry would not be in lab right now, because he’d be talking to Lup every hour of the day counting down the days til she’s back from dance camp.”

Mama looked ready to start getting wedding invitations out, her brown eyes lighting at the newfound knowledge.

“I mean, I knew that Barry had a crush on her, he’s so obvious about his feelings, has been ever since he was a little boy. I had a suspicion about Lup, but she’s always been super touchy and friendly with everyone so I didn’t know. Oh, Taako this is great!” Mama Bluejeans seemed to have forgotten the true travesty of all of this for a couple of seconds before her entire face deflated. “But they’re not talking to one another for some reason.”

Taako really didn’t feel like telling Mama Bluejeans what he did. It was like getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar knowing that you were probably the reason why the two people most important to you were no longer talking. And the fact that his relationship with his own twin was crumbling for some reason. 

“That could be my fault.” He confessed. Taako knew when he was guilty of something. Usually, he’d try and run from his mistakes, let Lup have a go at fixing it for him before he decided that he should. Lup wasn’t here though. He felt like he barely knew Lup at the moment. 

“What do you mean, dear?”

“I tried to speed up the process, dumb I know, but I am dumb so I guess that’s on brand. I didn’t think Lup would go with it! I thought I knew my own twin enough to know she wouldn’t go with it, but dumb wizard strikes again, and she went along with it.” Mama Bluejeans put her hands on Taako’s hands to make him stop talking. It worked because his mouth was suddenly not making words and looking at Mama.

“You’re not dumb, Taako, don’t demean yourself like that. It wasn’t a wise decision to try to speed up a process, but you didn’t mean it cruelly.”

“I mean, there was a little bit of cruelty in there, but to each their own.”

“And what did you do to try to speed it up?”

“Made up a fake crush thinking Lup would deny it like she normally does. Apparently the summer apart made us different people.” Taako grumbled. Mama Bluejeans looked at him with kind eyes and squeezed his hands.

“Was this meeting only about Barry and Lup? Or did you need to talk to someone about you and Lup?” Her voice was so soft and nurturing and Taako felt his walls crumbling. Mama Bluejeans had always been there for the both of them, made them lunches and made sure they were properly taken care of. She would braid Lup’s hair for her and then braid Taako’s hair because he was jealous over not having a braid. She’d drive them to school if she found out their guardian couldn’t take them. Mama Bluejeans was always there. She didn’t judge any of them if they cried to her, she’d just stroke their hair and let them cry it out.

Taako’s walls came down and it was all thanks to Mama Bluejeans. He felt the tears start to come out until they couldn’t stop anymore. He heard a chair scrape and suddenly Mama was right next to him, stroking his hair and humming quietly to him.

“I just...I feel this shift between us and it’s weird because we’ve never had this. We’ve always been on the same page! Even when Lup transitioned we were still on the same page. Then when she left for her dance thing, we just fell apart. Now we’re going to be even more apart because she’s going to get that apprenticeship come next summer and she won’t even  _ be here _ anymore. She’ll be gone and I’ll be all alone. What if when she comes back for breaks she’ll be more like a stranger? What if she wants nothing to do with me because she found someone else to fill her Taako hole?”

He really did feel super gross about crying. Especially in public. Yuck. But it was true. He could feel them getting further and further apart from one another. She was going to find a better pseudo twin brother. Someone who was actually smart and wasn’t so petty all the time. Mama Bluejeans rocked him in her arms, stroking his hair as she did.

“I doubt she’ll want nothing to do you, Taako. You’re her twin brother, no one, no matter how close they get to her, can ever fill that void. You know her better than anyone. You two are just going through something right now. Have you tried talking to her about it?” 

“No, we don’t talk about those sorts of things. Never had to.” He sniffed wetly and cringed at it. His face was going to be all puffy and gross. How was he going to attract any of the guys here looking like this?

“Maybe you should start, dear.” Mama Bluejeans gave him a kiss on his head and rubbed circles into his back. Normally, Taako would yell at the person trying to comfort him like this. He was Taako. He didn’t need to be comforted like this. But, with Mama Bluejeans...he couldn’t find it in him to snap at her for being so touchy with him.

“It’s just weird not knowing what she’s thinking.”

“I know. But you two will get through this. I know you will, okay?”

“Thanks.”

“Of course, dear.”

“Oh, and Mama? Can you not tell anyone about my little breakdown in the middle of this bakery? I have my street cred to worry about.”

“Oh, we wouldn’t want to ruin that, right?” Mama chuckled and sat back down at her chair. “It’ll be our little secret.” She held a finger up to her lips and smiled. 

xOx

Taako really did try to do what Mama Bluejeans suggested. He must’ve wrote the text message to Lup over 100 times, but each time it just felt wrong. It felt too whiny, even for him. Taako and Lup didn’t talk about feelings. They just cuddled with one another and they got the message. Except, that hadn’t been working for them. Especially since Taako decided to be petty for most of the time leading up to Lup’s departure. Sure, he apologized and sure, he said he loved her, but there was still a weird thing with them. 

Also, writing his feelings and sending it through text kind of cheapened it for him. If he was really going to be talking about his godsdamn feelings to his sister, he might as well to it right. 

It was a couple of days before Lup came back from camp. She had messaged him plenty of times since now he was on radio silence from her officially. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t pretend everything was fine and dandy. He also knew that he was hurting her. 

To remedy this, Taako decided to prepare a little welcome home party for her. Candlenights can take a backseat until after Lup came back. It wouldn’t be Candlenights without her, and everyone else was thinking it as well. He had caught Lucretia moping around the stockings and looking at Lup’s forlornly. Magnus stated loudly that it wasn’t Candlenights without the captain and Lup home, so they couldn’t celebrate it until they returned safely. Merle had agreed gruffly, looking towards Davenport’s chair with a look of longing. Taako knew that he and Davenport normally played chess after the festivities of the day just to wind down. 

So, with around two more days until Lup came home and one day until Candlenights, Taako found himself in the small kitchen that he practically grew up in, making all of Lup’s favorite things. He had tried to call Barry over, but apparently he was still running the stint of ignoring him for science shit. Asshole. Once the custard was done, he was going straight to Mama Bluejeans house and dragging him out himself. He was also going to make sure to tell him just how angry he was at him in the most Taako way.

He placed the custard in the fridge, wiping down his hands on his apron. He had gotten a good night text from Lup just the night before. He hadn’t replied to her yet, he had been too busy getting everything organized for her welcome back party. Besides, she was in class at this time. She didn’t have time to check her stone for a little  _ good morning, goofus  _ text. It could wait until her break time. Right now, Taako had to get Barry out of his dungeon. 

He knew Merle wouldn’t mind him taking the car. He did it regularly enough. He wasn’t the best driver in the world, everyone suddenly volunteering anytime he offered to drive. Wasn’t his fault that he viewed the driving laws as more suggestions. Everyone knew that 45 meant 65. Wasn’t his fault that everyone in his family didn’t get the memo. 

Taako grabbed a memo pad and pen. Normally, he’d keep his whereabouts hidden and just leave. Though, right now, he was feeling that he should leave a little something, just so no one was worried. He scribbled two little words on the memo pad and capped the pen, snatching up Merle’s keys and leaving the house. 

_ Gone fishing >:) _

oXo

The smell in Barry’s room was putrid. Apparently, science all day meant no shower as well. Or doing any laundry. Taako knew he was bad when it came to laundry and basic hygiene needs sometimes, but he liked to think he was this bad. Acid burned jeans were laid artistically on the floor, some shirts seemed to have made it in the hamper, but the rest of them were just tossed in that general direction. A broken pair of glasses were on the nightstand that held more mugs of coffee than what Taako thought was even remotely healthy. 

The only thing in the room that had not suffered the fate of science all day and night was his bed. It was still made neatly, with no traces of being slept in for a hot minute. Taako groaned as he looked over at Barry’s desk, and sure enough, there he was. He was slouched over a notebook with tons of balled up pieces of paper littered all around him. He was drooling on the notebook from what Taako could see and just looking really kind of pathetic. He walked over to the desk and kicked Barry’s rolly chair. Hard.

Barry toppled out of the chair and fell to the ground like he was a sack of potatoes. Even with that, he didn’t wake up. Taako knew Barry was a hard sleeper, but that should’ve woken him up. He slightly panicked for a moment. He knew that the nerd had drank too much coffee that was humanly healthy. Fuck, fuck, fuck, what if he was dead? Oh fuck, don’t think like that, no, that’s irrational thinking. Fuck. 

Without thinking, Taako took his wand out of his boot and zapped Barry with it in his side. Barry jolted and startled awake. Taako could feel his shoulders relaxing just a bit.

“Taa-Taako, what the fuck?” Barry slurred, rubbing his eyes. His glasses were still on, making Taako snort.

“Come on, Barold, we’re going to my place.”

“What?”

“Get dressed, in something not covered in fucking acid, what the actual hell, Barold. Thought Mama taught you better than that. And, for the love of me, please take a shower. You look like actual shit.”

“Thanks, I guess.” Barry struggled to get up, Taako hearing practically every bone in his body crack from protest. He cringed. 

“Gods, Barold, pick up some yoga or something. You sound like an old man.” Taako was worried for him. He’s never seen Barry like this before and it alarmed him. Why did he let himself go like that? “What have you even been doing?”

“Working. Have a science project due after break. I was going to work on it when Lup got back so we could work together, but...I had an idea and couldn’t get it out.”

“Did you talk to her about it?”

“No.”

“Why not? She’s your partner, isn’t she?” Taako didn’t mean to make his tone sound so harsh, but he was getting so done with these two. Why couldn’t they just talk it out and make up? That would be so much easier for all of them, because then Taako could talk to Lup without feeling like she was only half listening. Barry flinched slightly and picked at his shirt.

“I just thought...I didn’t think she wanted to talk to me, ya know? She might be too busy with dance.” He grumbled, picking his way through his messy room and pinching his nose at the sight of the mugs. 

“I don’t think she’s too busy for you, Barold.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t ‘nothing’ me, Barry what happened between you two?” Taako had it up to here with their nonsense. He was going to get answers right now, even if he had to drag Barry all the way back to Merle just so he could cast zone of truth on his ass. 

“It’s nothing, Taako, just drop it.” Taako flicked Barry’s ear. He was half tempted to give him a donkey tail and ears, but maybe that was taking it too far. 

“It’s obviously not nothing.”

“It is nothing.”

Okay, fuck taking it too far. Taako flicked his wand and watched as his best friend sprouted donkey ears and a tail. Barry yelped as he caught himself in the mirror.

“Okay, very funny, Taako. Get rid of them.” Barry’s voice held a warning, but Taako didn’t care. Barry wouldn’t do anything too drastic. 

“No can do, Barold. Not until you can tell cha boy what the fuck is going on between you and my sister.” He heard Barry groan as he shifted the clothes on the floor, getting tripped up every so often, thanks to the tail. One part of Taako felt bad for doing it to him, another part of him was laughing and trying to take a mental picture of Barry in this exact moment. Eventually, Barry stopped sifting through the clothes and just slumped on the floor, shoulders sagging.

“She hasn’t told you anything?” His voice was so small, and Taako felt himself moving towards him. He wasn’t like Lup where he could comfort someone. He was aloof and didn’t care about anyone except for Lup. Still, he found himself putting an arm around him and trying to do what Lup did whenever he was upset.

“No. You wouldn’t have a donkey tail and ears if she did.” Barry sighed, pinching his nose and looked like he was trying to not look dejected.

“Truth be told, I don’t know what’s going on between us.” He admitted, clenching and unclenching his hands. “I think it’s because I lied...I’ve never lied to Lup before and I had really thought I told her I liked her. Now, everything’s just super weird between us. We’re still lab partners, obviously, but outside of being lab partners...it’s like we’re acquaintances.”

Huh. It really was Taako’s fault as to why everything was in shits creek. Okay, he can fix that. Once Lup got home, he can explain it to her and then get Barry and Lup to talk to one another and everything will be fine. In the process, maybe they can confess to one another. One could hope.

“Taako’s bad on that one, homey.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Yes it is, Barry. Look, Lup’s coming home in two days. I’m throwing her a party and you’re coming with me to help get it ready. We’re gonna discuss how we’re going to fix this and everything will be fine.” He was saying more to himself as a way to make it sound plausible. Once it’s out to the universe, it had to come true. “You’re also spending the next two nights with us. Mama Bluejeans already knows since she’s spending the night for Candlenights.”

Barry just nodded and hobbled himself up. He looked through some drawers, coming up with a t-shirt and jeans.

“I’m just...I’m gonna go get cleaned up.”

“Oh, gods yes, Barold, do everyone with a sense of smell that favor.”

Barry chuckled weakly as he left the room. Taako heard the shower go on and he felt like he could finally relax. Everything was fine, everything was going to be fine.

Then why did it feel it it wasn’t?

His stomach was shifting uncomfortably and he had a sinking suspicion that everything was not fine. Lup...something was up with Lup and he didn’t know what it was. He bit his cheek. What was she up to? He was getting a sense of anxiety almost. What was going on with her?

After about an hour and thirty minutes, Taako and Barry were in Merle’s car. Barry was now driving since he didn’t feel very comfortable with Taako’s poor driving skills. Taako wouldn’t think he was a bad driver though, just efficient. The two of them were just talking aimlessly, trying to catch up when Taako suddenly felt a sharp pain in his left ankle. He hissed at the pain, grabbing his ankle to see what could’ve caused it.

“You okay, bud?” Barry asked, glancing at him for a split second before going back to the road. 

“Yeah, my ankle is just being wonky.” Taako tried to move it, but each time he did, the pain would just come back. “Fucking weird, did I roll it somehow?”

As he said the words, he suddenly understood it all together. Lup.

xOx

Lup wasn’t talking to him. In fact, she wasn’t talking to anyone. Instead, she sat in her chair, her casted ankle propped up by cushions. He was getting worried. Lup had been back for almost four days and still not a single word. She hadn’t even asked for anything to eat. Instead, he was making sure she ate and drank something by just bringing it to her. 

She would stare off into space for the whole day, only stopping when Magnus carried her off to bed. She looked so lifeless and so far removed from the sister that he knew and cared about. Right now, she was in their room, probably propped up on her bed. Sir Better than You was probably right next to her, trying to keep her company. 

The doctor had said that the break was pretty bad. She would have to keep off of it for a few months, and she was barred from ballet until she was at least an adult in elf years. Taako had seen her clutch the fabric of her skirt tightly when he said that. She pursed her lips so tightly together that it looked like she had just eaten a lemon. 

Taako was making snacks for the both of them. Something easy. Cheese and crackers. He was worried for his sister. She looked so despondent and so unlike herself that it unnerved him. When she came back home on Candlenights, she looked even worse. She refused to be in the living room and preferred to spend the holiday up in her room. She had avoided looking at Barry especially, something that Taako had caught. He knew that Barry saw that too because he and Mama Bluejeans went home that night. They normally stayed until the day after.

Taako grabbed the cheese and crackers, trudging his way upstairs to his and Lup’s shared room. He was being careful to balance the cheese and crackers, along with two cups of water in both of his hands, that he had to use his foot to open the door.

“Okay, Lulu, I got some crowd favorites here, some good old cheese and–what in the fucks name are you doing?” Lup startled, looking at him with wide eyes, her left foot elevated from the floor. In her left hand, she held a fistful of her hair that she prized, in her right hand, she held a pair of scissors, caught right in when she was about to cut it. Taako sighed, putting the cheese and crackers and waters on the dresser and walked over to her. Gently, he took the scissors out of her hand and put them on the dresser. He led her back to her bed slowly enough so she could keep up.

Helping her lay down, he laid down with her, wrapping her up in his arms and stroking her hair.

“Are you going to tell me what in fucks name you were doing?” Lup stayed silent, curling more into herself and looking away from him. “Come on, Lu, this isn’t exactly the first time I’ve caught you with scissors trying to cut something off. What’s going on?” She flinched at that, finally making eye contact with him. Taako could see that she was trying to keep herself from crying. He held her closer.

“They’re all gonna die before us.” She croaked, shifting to be closer to him.

“Who?”

“Everyone. Davenport, Merle, Mama Bluejeans, Lucretia, Magnus...Barry. They’re all going to die and we’re going to be alone again.” On the last part, she broke and started to cry. He wrapped her even tighter in the embrace, stroking her hair. “Taako, I–I don’t want to be without them. They’re too important!”

“I know. Lulu, I know.”

“Why couldn’t we be human?”

“Because our parents genetically modified us to be perfect.” He kissed her hair and rested his cheek on her head. 

“Taaks, I’m serious. Or why can’t everyone else match our lifespan? Why can’t all of us just live forever?” She was clutching his shirt, pinching some of his skin.

“That sounds like some death crimes that I’m sure the Raven Queen wouldn’t appreciate.”

He heard Lup tut and turn her head just a bit so he was now uncomfortably resting on her head. She pulled her hand back and was now fiddling with her hair. 

“You weren’t really going to cut your hair off, were you?”

Lup seemed to ponder this for a moment before shaking her head.

“I chickened out every time. I like it too much to actually cut it off.” She shifted her head again, letting him get comfortable. She grabbed hold of his hand and started to fiddle with it. “Have you talked to Barry?”

“No, been too busy worried about you, goof.” He meant to say it lightheartedly, but it came out wrong. More heartfelt. Lup sighed against him.

“Taako...I really love him.”

“I know.”

“No, but really. I thought about moving on, there was even a guy I was partnered with and I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it Taako. And what I was able to confess and he shared the same sentiment? Then what? We get married and live happily until he dies when I’m not even 100 yet? Taako, I can’t do that.” She rambled, the tears coming out quicker now. She clutched onto his hand. “That’s seven centuries I’m not with him. I can’t have that.”

“Is that why you won’t tell him?”

“Yeah. One of the reasons.” 

Taako nodded and wrapped her up again. 

“Makes sense.” He whispered to her. They were both dozing off when Taako suddenly remembered something. “I’m sorry, Lu.”

“For what?”

“For saying Barry was in love with someone and for saying you had crush on Greg fucking Grimaldis.” He heard her watery laugh as she snuggled closer to him.

“You’re good.” She murmured. He could feel her hands start to loosen from the grip as she began to slip into sleep.

“We’re good, right?”

“Yeah. More than good.”

She was right, of course. Taako could feel the shift between them lessen until it was suddenly nonexistent. They were good. Everything really was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to another Tuesday! Also, welcome to this chapter that I had the hardest time writing because it was in a POV I wasn't used to writing! For some reason, writing in Taako's POV was super difficult for me and I kept having to leave the document. This chapter is also completely unedited since I just finished writing this thing today. I'll probably re-read it after some time away and fix any errors!
> 
> Next chapter really will be senior year, I promise. It was just after last chapter, I wanted to have a part 2 because I felt it was necessary. After next chapter though, I will be going on a little hiatus just to recuperate and to focus on my finals this semester. I will be back probably in 2020 with new chapters, and also the remaining half of this fic!
> 
> Thank you all so much for the kudos, comments, hits, and bookmarks! It makes me so happy to see so many people enjoying this story since I have so much fun writing it! Thank you all so much!!
> 
> I'll see you all next Tuesday!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Senior Year. Welcome to Mitski hours

Lup was popular. That was something that Barry had known since they were kids. She was always able to light up a room with just her presence and have people following her with a snap of her fingers. Hell, that was Barry. So, when the sixth person came over with a promposal, Barry didn’t roll his eyes. He didn’t tut his tongue like Taako. He didn’t even question it. Because Lup was popular. Everyone loved Lup. It was just the natural order of things.

Instead, Barry just sat at the table, eating his lunch that he had prepared that morning, ignoring what was going on just behind him. The whole cafeteria was uncharacteristically quiet, everyone on baited breath to hear Lup’s answer from the kid who was sweating bullets with their sign. He could hear whispers every so often from other students, some asking their friends whether or not Lup was going to say yes this time. 

For her part, Lup got up from the table and whispered something in the kid’s ear, leading them away from the table and to a secluded place. He could hear some discontentment from other people. They wanted to hear Lup’s answer. They wanted to know if this person was going to be the lucky yes.

Taako nudged him with his spork, grabbing his attention away from his lunch. 

“Are you going to ask her?” Taako asked, spearing a piece of lettuce onto his spork. He inspected the leaf discontentedly, wrinkling his nose at the school lettuce. He stuck his tongue out and threw his spork onto his tray. Apparently he had a late night finishing up a project. He had called Barry for the first two hours of doing the project, mumbling under his breath over how stupid it was giving only seniors a project this late in the game. It was for his AP chemistry class apparently, and he regretted taking it. Not because it was hard, but because it caused more work for him. He had heard Taako groaning about how she should’ve just did dual enrollment like Lup and Barry.

“I don’t think so.” Barry picked at his food, not really having an appetite. This had been going on for nearly two weeks now. Three people had asked Lup out just last week and now three people this week. For the past five, she had given them a straight answer of no. When Barry had asked her why she said no it was because she was waiting for someone else to ask her. He didn’t know who she was waiting on to ask her, and he didn’t know how long this person was going to wait for. Prom was next Saturday after all.

Taako groaned, hitting his forehead on the table.

“Hey, Barold? What the fuck? Why not?”

“She told me she’s waiting on someone else to ask her out. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.” He started to pack up his lunch, the bell was supposed to ring in the next five minutes or so. He could hear Taako banging his forehead on the table some more, being as melodramatic as possible.

He opened his mouth to speak just as Lup came back, planting herself right in between them. 

“How’d it go?” Barry asked, zipping up his lunch box and stopping Taako from speaking whatever he was thinking. Taako made an indignant noise before standing up from the table and taking his tray to the garbage.

“Wait, Taaks, can you take mine?” Lup lifted her tray up and Taako flicked her ear.

“Nope.” He popped his ‘p’ and carried on with going to the garbage. Lup tutted her tongue before turning back to Barry. 

“Fine. Let them down easy. I really don’t know why people insist on doing public proposals. It makes everything super awkward.” Lup put her tray down and smiled at him. “Happy tech week by the way. Are you ready?”

Barry groaned. Putting his head in his hands. Tech week. The worst week in any theatre kids life. Barry had auditioned for the spring play this year after spending his whole high school career in tech. To his surprise, he had actually gotten cast in the production. Lup had also auditioned, after turning to theatre during second semester to take her mind off of dance and to keep performing. Of course Lup got cast because she was good at everything. What he didn’t expect was to be cast as her romantic partner. He also didn’t expect to have to kiss her.

Every time the kiss came up in the play, he would get super embarrassed and the both of them would start giggling nervously. He just assumed that he was making things awkward and Lup was trying to lessen how awful he was making everything. Their director had been especially patient with them, letting the both of them skip over the kiss and just let Lup kiss Barry’s hand instead. However, he could tell how agitated she was getting with them, and he also knew that they couldn’t keep skipping over it. Their director had told them that much. During tech week, she was going to put up with it a little more, but on actual performance dates, they better be locking lips.

“You ready for this kiss, babe?” Lup teased, poking him in the side just a bit. Barry laughed nervously, running his hand through his thinning hair. 

“Oh, you know it.” He sounded nervous. To be fair, he was nervous. Kissing Lup...that has been what he was dreaming of since they had almost kissed during sophomore year. Ever since then, he had been wondering how Lup’s lips would feel on his and how a kiss between them would be. He had felt absolutely creepy about it, making him feel just a bit more anxious. He had never kissed anyone before. He was scared that he was going to be way too awkward about it and what about his teeth? Would they get in the way of everything?

He was overthinking it. It was just a stage kiss and he didn’t need to get so worked up over this. Barry should be fine with this. He was a stage manager for gods sake for his sophomore and junior year. He knew exactly what sort of shenanigans to expect. Hell, if he was still stage managing and a couple of actors refused to kiss, he would’ve taken them aside and just explained to them that it was just for stage. It didn’t mean anything. It was just a play.

He has also been in love with Lup for 13 years, but that's besides the point.

It wasn’t even like their kiss had to be something romantic. They were the comedic relief couple. Something to let the audience laugh at with all the tension going on. Taako was the main character and he had to kiss a girl. Taako had complained about having to kiss a girl in private with everyone, stating how homophobic the earlier plays were. But, after the first week of practice, he had gotten over it and was goofing on it. The girl he was supposed to kiss was also making fun of it with him, especially since Taako had found out she was super not into boys.

Lup laughed and ruffled his hair a little bit. They were more or less back to how they used to be with one another after having talked with her a few weeks after she got back. They cleared the air between them. Lup had explained that she didn't like being lied to and Barry agreed with that sentiment. They both agreed to not lie to one another again, especially over something like crushes. Still, there was an underlying thing between them, one that he couldn’t explain. A sort of buzzing in the back of his head and he was sure Lup was feeling it too. 

Whatever it was, they weren’t talking to each other about it. 

“Did you get your lines down?” He was trying to steer away from the topic of the kiss. It gave him way too much anxiety. Especially how his Ma had reacted once she heard he was kissing Lup. She had given him The Look™, the corner of her lips forming into a smirk. She didn’t have to say anything to know exactly what she was thinking. Barry had tried to explain to her that it didn’t mean anything, that it was just a stage kiss. That didn’t deter her every time he came home from practice though, always asking how it went.

Barry’s face always went completely beet red as he stammered to put something together. He would then make up that he had homework and retreat immediately to his room to get out of the conversation. 

It sucked because Ma would always know when he was lying since his lisp always came out. She didn’t call him out on it, but he knew that she knew that he was lying.

“Oh hell yeah. Taako was quizzing me on them last night. I always memorize best when I’m under pressure, apparently.” Lup stood up, tray once again in hand and quickly went to the garbage. Taako didn’t come back from throwing his away, he probably went to the bathroom to text someone and didn’t want Lup seeing it. 

Lup had told Barry that Taako was being secretive as of late with someone and she wanted to get to the bottom of it. Barry had told her to let Taako have his privacy. Lup had scoffed at him for that.

_ “No such thing as privacy between twins, Bear.” _

Barry just went along with it. What did he know about siblings, especially twins? Barry’s parents were older when they had him and even if they were thinking of having any more kids after him, his father had died before that could even happen. So, Barry just thought of it as true and went along with whatever Lup was saying.

The bell rang and Lup picked her backpack from off the floor. 

“See you at rehearsal?”

“Yeah. See you then.” Lup smiled, contemplated something for a moment before planting a kiss on his head. He could feel his entire face flare up. He knew he was being weird about that, Lup always gave out physical affection. It was just her. She also took people away from public eyes to let them down easy. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to ask her out? She could just turn him down nicely, tell him that she just saw him as a good friend and he was more like a brother to her than a lover. 

Still, he didn’t want to make things awkward between them again. They had just started being normal around each other again. No need to ruin that all over again just because he asked her out and made her uncomfortable all over again. 

With this in mind, Barry grabbed his backpack and hurried off to his next class. He only really had two classes here since he took the rest of his classes at the local community college. He had been doing that since junior year. It was super beneficial for him, and looked good on his college application. He really needed to check his application status. He had already been accepted to three colleges, but he had yet heard from the college of his choice. All five of them were trying to get into the same college and no one has heard anything about their apps.

His second to last class of the day was piano. He really didn’t need a whole class period for piano, but he appreciated the lowkey class and sometimes the teacher let him go to the orchestra room so he could listen to them in there. He knew that Lup wanted to do a duet with him at some point, maybe for their end of year concert. They had always talked about doing a duet with one another, but they never followed through on their plans. They just got too busy with everything else and didn’t have time to actually rehearse with one another. 

As far as he was aware, the orchestra wasn’t showcasing any senior members this year for some reason. He had remembered how upset Lup was because she had a selection picked out and everything. She was going to ask Barry to perform it with her as a joint thing. He had remembered her walking into his room, obviously agitated, throwing down some sheet music in the process.

_ “I paid fucking 30 dollars for both the piano part and violin part and they’re not even showcasing seniors this year? Fuck this shit!” Barry picked up the fallen sheet music staring at it. ‘ _ Salut D’amour op. 12’ _ it had read. _

_ “Isn’t this a love song?” Barry had asked and he could’ve sworn that he saw Lup’s face darken just a bit. Maybe it was because of the poor lighting. _

_ “It’s pretty and you’re the only competent piano player I know.” _

He tried not to read that much into it. Lup was like that. She liked songs and liked to perform them. It didn’t matter if it was a love song or not. If she liked it, Lup was going to play it.

He arrived at his class, sitting down at one of the keyboards. He wasn’t allowed to practice on the grand piano unless there was a concert coming up and he got the okay from the teacher to use it. It really was beautiful though, and he knew that it would sound great with Lup’s violin playing. He went into his bag and pulled out some sheet music. Let’s see what _ ‘Salut D’amour’ _ had in store for him.

  
  


xOx

“Barry, Lup, could you please just run the kiss for me? We’re opening in less than two days and I need to see it.” The director sounded so frustrated with everything. To be fair, Lup completely understood. She and Barry had been mucking up the kiss since the first rehearsal. Maybe it was because she couldn’t get it out of her head that they were kissing each other as Barry and Lup, not as their characters. Each time they got to the kiss, she could feel her stomach flipping and her palms begin to get all sweaty. She had to concentrate extra hard to make sure her hands didn’t just erupt in flames. 

It wasn’t her kissing Barry, it was Gorda kissing Niel. She couldn’t keep thinking it was her and Barry. It didn’t help that every time she practiced this scene with Taako, he would shout to the rooftops that she was now kissing Barry. The first time they had rehearsed this scene together at home, she had put her hand over his mouth to shush him so no one else would hear. After that, she had made sure that they were alone in the house before running it. 

It didn’t have to be a good kiss. Lup knew that. It was just for comedic relief. It could be sloppy. It could be awkward. But it couldn’t look like the actors were hesitant about it, which is what Barry and her have been since the very beginning. They had semi removed the kiss up until this point with Lup giving Barry a dramatic kiss on the hand. It didn’t have the same effect, but the director let them do it until they were comfortable with locking lips. The thing was, Lup would never be comfortable locking lips with Barry. At least, not like this. She felt that once she kissed him it would be all over for them. She would tell him about her feelings for him and whatever he replied with would be the end of it. Either they end up together or they were now in an awkward situation...again.

It didn’t help that Lup had been waiting for Barry to ask her out to prom.

She didn’t know why she couldn’t just do it. Maybe it was because she just wanted him to do it, to rip off the band-aid. She was supposed to tell him about her feelings after they performed during senior spotlight off stage. That plan fell through once the orchestra director told them that they wouldn’t even have senior spotlight due to the low amount of seniors they had graduating this year. That had irked Lup to no end. 

Of course Barry also had to point out that _ Salut D’amour op 12 _ was a love duet as well. She really wanted to bang her head up against the wall after she fucked that one up. Why couldn’t she just say that she was in love with him and that’s why she chose it? Maybe she feared rejection. That could be it.

Lup shook out her nerves and looked to Barry. Opening night was less than two days away. They could do this. She could kiss Barry Bluejeans. They were friends and she was nearly an adult in human terms. She could do this. She had to.

She looked at Barry and found him fiddling with his glasses, adjusting them repeatedly and looking anywhere but at Lup.

“Also, Barry, what’s the status on getting those contacts?”

Contacts. Lup knew that Barry had tried with contacts a total of zero times in his life. He had explained to her it was because he thought he looked weird without glasses. Also, just the idea of putting anything in his eyes gave him the willies. Lup couldn’t really relate to him on that. She had started needing glasses in sixth grade, but had begged Merle to only get her contacts. He had only agreed to get her contacts if she could put them in by herself and take care of them since he didn’t mess with contacts. She had successfully put in her own contacts day one and Merle got her a pair of glasses for her just in case. To this day, the only people who knew about Lup needing glasses were everyone she lived with. Not even Mama Bluejeans or Barry knew. Not because she wanted to keep it a secret, but because it just never came up.

“Uh, yeah, I have them at my house I just haven’t been able to get them in.” Barry looked down at the floor, shuffling his feet slightly. She knew that he was embarrassed about not being able to put in contacts. She had listened to him when their director said he needed them. He was driving the both of them home, fingers nervously tapping the steering wheel. Lup had placed her hand on his to soothe his nervous energy. All that accomplished was Barry almost going into oncoming traffic. They were both apologizing profusely to one another while Taako was shouting at how they tried to kill him.

The director nodded and turned her back to them. She swirled her finger in the air and Lup knew that she wanted them to take it from before the kiss. 

“If you need help with getting your contacts in, I can help after practice.” She assured before going back to her blocking previous to this one. Barry stuttered out a thank you.

They ran the scene pretty perfectly until they had to kiss one another. Once again, they started to laugh nervously, dancing around one another until Lup just grabbed Barry’s hand and kissed it again. The director groaned, putting her head in her hands.

“Even if it’s just a stage kiss it’ll be fine. But please, for the love of Istus, kiss each other!” The director shooed them away and the both of them scampered off the stage. They left on opposite sides of one another, Lup going over to the wing that Taako was at. He grabbed her by her bicep and looked at her.

“Hey, Lulu? Kiss your boy already, kay?”

“He’s not my boy, Taaks.”

“Still, before the director has an aneurysm, smooch his brains out already.”

“Ew, Taako!”

For his part, Taako shrugged and sauntered onstage for his next scene. When his kiss came up, he made sure Lup could see how over the top he made it. Lup just rolled her eyes and went over to Barry who was getting fitted for his costume. 

“When was the last time I saw you out of blue jeans, Barold?” She teased, sitting down on a riser and putting her head in her hands. She could see Barry turn beet red and smooth down the dress pants just a bit. 

“Uh, never?” 

“Pretty sure there were a couple of sleepovers where you were in your power ranger onesie.” She smiled as she saw Barry go even redder. 

“There you two are. Look, I’m not here to tell you how to do your thing, but I am here to tell you to figure it out already. It’s taking you guys way too long to just kiss each other. So, figure it out, okay? Mrs K is getting super annoyed.” The stage manager told them. They had on their head set to listen for instruction and Lup could make out just a bit from what their director was saying. 

“Yeah, we’ll have it down during opening. Don’t worry, Benny.” For their part, Benny sighed, listening into their headset and gave them a thumbs up before walking away to get ready for their next queue.

Barry’s face was even redder than before and Lup feared that he was about to have a nose bleed in his costume. 

“Hey, Lup, can you try on your costume for us?” The costume manager called. They looked like they were about to scream at everyone with how roughly they were treating their costumes. “Laurent, stop eating in your costume or else I’ll make Tabitha tie your shoes together.”

Tabitha the Theatre Ghost, the reason for missing props and for your shoes being tied together at the most inopportune times. For his part, Laurent the freshman immediately threw away his chip bag and went to the dressing rooms to clean off his hands. From what Lup had gathered from last year, Tabitha was the most feared out of everyone. 

Gillie handed her the costume and looked at her up and down.

“Also, if you and Barry don’t kiss one another then we’re getting Tabitha on the both of you.”

“Is everyone in on this getting Tabitha on us?”

“Oh yeah. You should see our board of suggestions for her to do.”

Lup heard Barry squeak in surprise, no doubt it was because he was never threatened with Tabitha. He was always the one telling everyone else to get good at what they were doing or else Tabitha was going to happen. For their part, Gillie just rolled her eyes and looked at Lup.

“Tell us how that fits, and if we need to make any last minute adjustments we’ll do it begrudgingly.”

“Thank you, Gillie, you’re the best!” That got a smile out of Gillie and Lup smiled back at them. Lup walked back to the dressing room, ruffling Barry’s hair in the process. He shouted in protest, trying to poke her in retaliation. She avoided it and laughed. Yeah, that was it. She needed to smooch Barry’s brains out because this play maybe the only time she could do it.

xOx

“-uup!” Lup startled awake, looking around tiredly. Her room was dark, that was for sure, and there was a shadow of a person over her. She jumped at the shadowy figure, her dark vision finally taking over and looking into the face of Lucretia.

“Cretia, what’s going on?” She slurred, rubbing her eyes. 

“Prom dress shopping. Let’s go.” Lup groaned, looking over at her alarm clock and seeing it was around 7 pm. She had fallen asleep after getting back from rehearsal having been exhausted after everything that went down. The last thing she wanted to do was go prom dress shopping. Especially since the person she wanted to go with has yet to ask her out. She highly doubted at this point that he was going to ask her out at this point. 

“Do I have to?”

“Not technically. Do you have an outfit?”

“No.”

“Then let’s go.”

Lup groaned as Lucretia pulled her up into a sitting position. Her clothes were rumpled from sleep but she couldn’t be bothered by her appearance right now. Her nap was interrupted. She also needed to do her homework for class.

“Who else is going?”

“Just me, you, and Julia.” Lup nodded. She had gotten to know Julia a little bit since Magnus had her around the house a lot since he started to date her. She fit right in with all the chaos that was always surrounding their home. “Come on, she’s waiting in the car.”

Lup stretched and smoothed down her hair just a bit. She grabbed some flats and her purse, eyes still heavy from sleep. The two girls made their way downstairs, Merle was sitting in a chair reading a magazine of some sort. Davenport was right next to him also reading.

“Where you two off to?” Merle asked, quirking a bushy eyebrow.

“Mall. We’re going prom dress shopping.”

“Oh shoot, that today? Use my card, okay? It’s...it’s somewhere.”

“In your sock drawer, thanks Merle. See you later.” Lucretia made her way to his room coming back out with a worn out card. 

“See ya, be careful, okay?”

“We will be!”

The two of them left the house, running to Julia’s old jeep and climbing inside. They both buckled up as Julia put the car in drive. 

“Okay, mall closes at 10. Let’s make every second count and not get distracted, okay?” Julia stated, flooring the gas pedal. Lucretia and Lup nodded. Prom was Saturday. They only had one shot at making sure they had something to wear. They really did wait last minute, and their pickings were probably super slim. That was fine. They were going to find something. They had to. 

It was currently 9 pm and Lup has yet to find a dress. Lucretia had found her pantsuit pretty quickly after she sorted that she didn’t want a dress in the first place. Julia had found her dress thirty minutes after her and had texted Magnus the color of her dress so he could match her. Lup however, had yet to find what she wanted.

She didn’t want anything too long, to be tripping on a dress all night was not her thing. She also didn’t want it so short that it would look off in a prom setting. Something that was still free flowing. She didn’t want a pantsuit like Lucretia because it just didn’t feel right to her. She wanted a dress, but nothing was appealing to her. 

The color wouldn’t be right, nor the cut. If she found a dress she liked, then it would never fit well enough and it would always be the last size they had. There was always an undercurrent of judgement from the too underpaid workers that made her wish she had come in earlier to get a prom dress. Why did she wait so long?

“Lup, the mall’s going to be closing soon.” Lucretia told her, shifting her bag full of her own prom stuff. She knew it was closing soon. She could feel the clock ticking. 

“Just one more store, okay? There’s still one more we haven’t been in yet.” She knew the other two were tired. She was tired. She just wanted to have a dress already so she didn’t have to worry about it. She wished Mama was here because she knew exactly what to do in this situation. Lucretia and Julia very dutifully nodded and followed Lup to the last store they hadn’t been in yet for a dress. It was a small shop, with an even smaller selection of dresses to choose from. Lup got a little bit anxious since this might mean that it was all picked over. Still, Lucretia and Julia split up and tried to find a dress for her. The lone worker in the store stifled a yawn as they looked at their stone from behind the counter. She had to make this quick.

They hadn’t been looking for ten minutes when Julia spoke up.

“Hey, Lup!” Her voice boomed. Lup looked over to where she called from, seeing Julia holding up a red dress. 

“Toss it over!” Lup opened her arms to catch it. Julia tossed it, the pass clean as Lup easily caught it. The worker was way too tired to even question it and waved her in to go into the dressing room. 

Lup really didn’t have to try it on to know it was her dress. Still, she did it anyway. It was totally worth it with Lucretia and Julia’s reaction to it. 

xOx

Whether it was backstage or onstage, opening night always had a sort of nervous energy around it. Tempers were raised and more and more people were found in the back of a corner slowly rocking themselves back and forth, pleading to any god listening that their performance would go off without a hitch. Barry had even seen some students try to sacrifice something to a god to ensure a good opening night. It was fine, it was just theatre kids being theatre kids. 

A long table was set up with all the props for the show on one side. A large sign was over the table with ‘IF IT’S NOT YOUR PROP, DON’T TOUCH IT. WE WILL SACRIFICE YOU TO TABITHA.’ On the other side was a little shrine set up with offerings of cookies and other sweets along with some children's toys. Some kids were still putting things down as offerings. It was all dedicated to Tabitha to hope that she would be kind enough to not torment them on opening night. 

Barry for his part, was definitely in panic mode. He never had to be on the actor side of things, since he made sure to stick to stage managing and teching since freshman year. It wasn’t until Lup came in and made him audition for the spring show did he know just how nerve wracking everything was. Especially when it came to kissing your best friend. Everyone in the dressing room was getting on Barry about having to kiss Lup, teasing him about it and giving him some kissy faces. It was all very childish, and made Barry even more anxious about the whole kiss. 

He and Lup had been very quiet with one another throughout the day, laughing softly every time one of their friends brought it up. Magnus had even went so far as to how awkward it would be to kiss your pseudo brother. Lup had laughed nervously and tucked her hair behind her ear. 

_ “It’s just acting, Mags.” _

_ “If it’s just acting then how come you haven’t kissed Barold yet?” _

He could feel his hands getting a little too sweaty, and he was too afraid to wipe his hands on his costume in case Gillie would sacrifice his hands to the theatre ghost. Even though he knew that it was mostly superstitions, Barry still believed in the theatre ghost. Hell, necromancy was a thing, so why not a ghost who haunted the theatre?

“Y’all better be dressed because I’m coming in!” Came Lup’s voice as she barged into the boys dressing room. She was all ready to go in her dinner party green dress. Her blonde hair was curled at the ends and her makeup was already done. She looked absolutely magnificent, and Barry could feel his breath hitch just slightly at the sight of her.

“Lup, you’re not supposed to be in here!” Cried one of the freshman boys, quickly buttoning his shirt up. Lup tutted her tongue and walked over to the sink and began to wash her hands.

“Barry can’t put his contacts in by himself. I’m here to help.” She explained. She lathered her hands heavily with soap, making sure to wash underneath her nails. She turned off the water once she rinsed the soap from her hands and grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser that was uncharacteristically full for once. She threw the paper towel out and sat down in front of Barry, already grabbing his contact case and unscrewing the cap.

“Take you glasses off.” She said softly, picking his right contact and dousing it in solution. Barry obeyed and put his glasses down on the counter. Lup shifted the contact between her fingers, letting the solution drip on their shoes. “Okay, I need you to keep your eyes open super wide, kay?” Barry nodded and stretched his upper and bottom lid so Lup could put in his contact. 

“Keep your eyes up because you’re gonna wanna pull away if you don’t.” Barry was about to say that he could never pull away from her. That he would always gravitate towards her. He was about to say that before she stuck her finger in his eyeball and he immediately pulled away. “See! That’s exactly what I meant. Come here and don’t pull away.”

It took them a few tries to get his first contact in. Barry was embarrassed, but Lup had laughed all the way through, calling him a dork affectionately. Once they finally got his first contact in, Lup instructed him to close his eye and to pat it in before moving onto the next contact. 

“Now you know how the first one felt. Now the second one shouldn’t be too hard, yeah?” That wasn’t true at all because the second one was just as bad, the contact even falling onto the floor. Lup told him that no amount of solution could save that one, so she got a fresh contact from out of his box. This one went in a lot easier and Lup had kissed him on the cheek after it was all done, making him blush like mad. 

“I’ll tell Taaks that you’re ready for makeup, okay? See ya at places!”

“Wait, Lup, how did you know how to put in contacts?” Lup stopped trying to get up, pondering what she was about to say. She pursed her lips together just a bit, tipping her head to one side for a moment.

“Wiki-How is extremely informative in a pinch.” She answered. She ruffled his hair just a bit to annoy him. 

“Lup!”

She snickered and blew him a kiss, leaving the room in a whirlwind of emerald green. 

“Gods, she’s so hot.” Murmured the freshman, eyes starry.

“Say that again and I sacrifice you to Tabitha.”

The freshman yelped and scurried out of the room after that. Taako came in quickly after that, looking at the freshman who was running away like he had been burned. 

“Did you hit him with the sacrifice to Tabitha line?”

“Yeah.”  
  


“Gods, you’re such a nerd, Barold. Give me your face, I gotta make sure that your pasty ass is seen from the back row.”

xOx

Barry knew that everyone backstage was on bated breath. It was Lup and his big scene together and he had seen all of the cast and crew do a little prayer that it went on without a hitch. To be fair, he would be doing the same thing if he were in that position. He caught Lup’s eye from across the stage and she smiled at him. She was now wearing a new dress, navy blue. She looked absolutely stunning, but then again, Lup looked good in everything. 

The scene was running smoothly. They were hitting all of their queues, hitting all of their blocking and suddenly, Lup was right in front of him. He knew the audience had been laughing, had heard it all throughout their interaction with one another. But, right now, he could barely hear them. Instead, he could just hear the sound of his own beating heart in his ears. The kiss was coming up. Oh gods, the kiss was coming up what was he going to do when the kiss came on?

He felt a squeeze of a hand in his. He looked at Lup, her eyes crystal clear and a smirk on her ruby red lips. 

“Well, Sir Niel, whatever are we going to do about this predicament?” She asked, pressing her body against his. Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods, oh gods. 

“Whatever do you mean, Lady Gorda?”

“Isn’t obvious? The tension between us has been ever so thick. Nearly everyone has realized it, even my own brother.”

“Oh?” Lean in for a kiss, lean in. This is where you lean in to kiss her.

“Quite so.” There was a moment's hesitation and Barry could hear Benny start praying a little harder that they were going to do it. Barry was beginning to think that Lup was going to her little hand kiss, and he was prepping for it when suddenly, he felt lips on his. 

Everything in his body lit on fire. He could feel his brain begin to melt as Lup’s lips were on his, moving against his. It only took a second to realize he needed to be doing something back and once he did, he could feel Lup sigh against him. Her hands found the back of his head and she pushed him closer to her, letting him sink further into kissing her. His stomach was on fire and his knees felt like jelly. He was suddenly breathless, but he didn’t mind that at all. All he cared about was kissing her. Kissing her like he would never kiss her again, because after this play, when would he ever be able to do this? He put so much of pent up love into it, hoping that maybe she would catch on to it. Hoping that she would now know.

Kissing Lup was exactly how he imagined it would be but even better. Her lips were soft against his and just felt so nice. She suddenly nipped his bottom lip, causing him to yelp. His next line, she was setting him up for his next line.

“You bit me!”

“It seems that I did.” She smiled mischievously, her eyes looking like they were in a haze. “May I do it again?”

“Let me think. Hell yes.”

Lup once again surged forward, kissing him hungrily. Barry had to remind himself that this was all acting. Everything that Lup was doing, she was just being in character. He’d especially had to remind himself that when he felt Lup’s tongue at the entrance of his mouth. This was all just a play he reminded himself. Lup was playing a character. He was also playing a character. He could feel the heat on the side of his face. It was becoming excruciatingly hot and Barry couldn’t tell if it was because of the kiss or what.

The next thing he knew, Lup was pulling away and she had gasped. The next thing Barry knew, he was being doused by water. Huh, who would have thought.

xOx

Lup had not meant to set Barry on fire. It had just happened mid kiss. She didn’t know when because she just felt her brain go to complete mush when she was kissing him. One moment, she was reveling in how Barry was kissing her, the next thing she knew, she could feel just how hot her hands were getting. She had pulled away from Barry a little begrudgingly. All she wanted to do was keep kissing him because who knew when the next time she would kiss him like this. Then, she had seen Barry’s hair start to catch aflame before being quickly doused by water.

Barry hadn’t even noticed he was on fire, that much she knew once she and him had gotten off stage. Everyone backstage was in mid panic over what had happened, but Barry was just looking dazed. And oh my fucking gods she had set the person she was in love with on fucking _ fire? _Benny was over to her immediately.

“Okay, what in the fucks happened?” They asked, taking her by the shoulders. There was panic in their voice which was completely understandable because Lup couldn’t even piece together what in fucks name happened between them. 

“I don’t...I don’t know?” Did that really just happen? Had she really just set Barry on fire because she was just so excited over kissing him that much? If that’s how she was going to be kissing Barry then she couldn’t kiss him again. She didn’t want to end up hurting him. Oh gods, what if it had been even worse? What if she had burned him? Oh gods, oh gods, oh _ fucking _gods. 

This had been going over her head right up until the last scene in the play. The wedding scene between Taako and his play partner. They had often joked that this was the only time that they were marrying the opposite sex and that the girl’s parents were going to see her get married to a man after all. Barry and her were seated next to each other, their blocking having them holding hands. But, Lup was much too afraid of her hands right now, especially around Barry. He hadn’t even come up to her after the incident, meaning he wanted nothing to do with her, that’s what it had to mean. He didn’t even question why they weren’t holding hands.

After that, the play ended and the audience of around twenty people hooted and hollered. They took their bows and Lup was still feeling lost in it all. They all greeted the people who came. Magnus giving all three of them a bear hug.

“Okay, you didn’t tell me that there was going to be a fire!” Magnus exclaimed loudly. 

“Surprise!” Taako answered, plastering a smile on his face. He had grabbed onto Lup’s hand and squeezed it. She squeezed back.

“That was actually really fucking cool, though. Barry, how long did it take you to not freak out over it?” 

“Uh, it just came together one day?”

“And Lup! You really controlled that super well! I really thought you and Barry were in love there!”

At that both Barry and Lup laughed uncomfortably, not looking at each other. Neither of them knew what the fuck happened during that kiss. Lup had definitely gotten carried away with it. She couldn’t help it though. Kissing Barry just felt so right and perfect. How could she not get carried away with kissing him? It was impossible to not. He was just so damn kissable!

“Hey, actors! Mrs K wants to give you guys some notes before you guys go home, so hurry back in the auditorium!”

The three of them said goodbye to Magnus who was the only one to join them for opening. He had promised to spread the word about the play and try to get his football buddies to come see it. He said he would mention the fire to them in hopes it would get them interested in coming. All three of them laughed nervously. Lup went to follow Barry in to listen to notes when she felt Taako drag her back.

“Twin talk tonight, okay?” He whispered in her ear. She nodded mutely, squeezing onto his hand like a lifeline. What in fucks name had happened?

xOx

“On that note, Barry and Lup, what the heck was up with the fire?” Mrs K asked, her eyes stern. Barry looked to Lup and she looked just as lost as he was. 

“I really don’t know?” Lup answered, looking to Barry. He shrugged his shoulders at her and she pulled a face. He hadn’t even noticed he was on fire until the water had hit him. Lup’s kisses were just so intoxicating. He forgot that he was just a character in a play for a moment when he was kissing her. He was just so happy kissing her that it didn’t even matter that he lost some hair. Hell, if he lost all of his hair just so he could keep kissing her like that, he would be more than happy to let it happen. 

“Well, everyone really liked it. But we’re technically not supposed to have fire in the theatre. Benny. If it happens again for closing, just be sure to have a water bucket on hand, okay?”

“Got it.”

Notes continued, and all Barry could do was touch his lips. They were still swollen from the kisses and he had to stop himself from smiling to keep from looking like a freak. Lup had kissed him. He had kissed Lup. Not technically. It was a stage kiss, but still. It was a kiss. He was in a daze as he was putting his costumes away to the dressers. Floating on air when he went to help clean up for tomorrow’s show. He was out of his body when he was in Lup and Taako’s car being driven home. 

When they pulled up in front of his house, Barry couldn’t believe that they were already there. Lup and Taako were supposed to spend the night tonight since it was just more convenient for them all to carpool to school together. When Barry moved to get out of the car and the car had yet to turn off, he turned to the twins who were whispering to one another.

“You two coming?” He asked. The twins startled so slightly that it would’ve been missed to the untrained eye. 

“Yeah, we’re just gonna talk for a sec, kay, Barold? It’s twin talk.” Taako answered. Barry nodded and got out of the car.

“Kay, I’ll just tell that to Ma.”

“Thanks, nerd!”

Barry waved to them and Taako waved back. Lup wouldn’t look him in the eye. Fuck. They were back to that again. 

He entered his home and smelled the soup that Ma had on the stove. He entered the kitchen and saw her stirring it.

“Hey, honey-pie, how was opening?” Ma asked, turning around. Her eyes narrowed on the two missing people. “Where’s Lup and Taako?”

“They’re coming. They had to talk about something. It was fine.”

“Did you and Lup kiss? I know Taako was saying that the two of you refused to do it all throughout rehearsals.” She had a sly look in her eye that Barry didn’t really appreciate at the moment. Still, he couldn’t get angry at his Ma for something so trivial. He knew that she knew about his crush on Lup. She was his mother after all, it was sort of hard to hide that from her. 

“Yeah, that happened.” She must’ve picked up that he didn’t want to talk about it any longer because she dropped it. She placed a bowl of soup in front of him and let him eat in peace. He was almost done with it when the twins walked in. 

“Okay, Mama, just you wait till you hear about this!” Taako’s voice rang out. He placed his duffle bag on the floor near the front door. Lup followed closely behind him, an easy smile on her face. She sat down next to Barry, perching her elbow on the table.

“Is everything okay?” He asked her in a low voice. Lup looked at him, eyes softening considerably.

“Yeah, everything’s fine, Bear.” She took ahold of his hand and squeezed it.

Closing night went on without a hitch and only minimal fire. When his Ma was driving him home that night, she had given him a look that he really couldn’t decipher. It had been packed for closing night, and he was thankful for that. The theatre program really needed all of the money it could get.

“Proms tomorrow.” Ma said matter-of-factly. 

“Yeah, I know.”

“I have your suit all laid out. It’s hanging in your room. Oh, I also got you your tie.” Barry nodded. When he got into his room and saw the tie it perplexed him for a moment. His Ma never bought this color for him. It was always blue. He took the red tie and placed it up against the suit. It really did look good together.

xOx

“And if yer gonna drink, just stay at yer friends house or text me or Dav. I want you kids to be safe, okay?” Merle instructed for the billionth time. The four of them rolled their eyes for the billionth time as well. They all knew that Merle meant well, but that didn’t mean they needed to hear him reiterate the same sentiment over and over again. “I said, _ okay? _”

They all mumbled out an okay, Lucretia checking her handbag once again seeing if all of their tickets were in there.

“Can someone call Barry to see if he’s coming over or not?” Taako griped, lounging about in a sparkly silver suit. His hair was curled and braided back all thanks to Lup since she was the only one out of the twins who actually knew how to do hair. “Also, where in fucks name is my goofus of a sister?”

“Calm down, I’m right here.” Lup announced, making her way downstairs. Her hair was loose down her back and curled into thick ringlets. The front pieces of her hair was fishtailed back and decorated in red flowers. “Also, we’re picking Barry up at his house because Mama says she has gifts for all of us.” 

She reached the bottom, smoothing down her dress and fixing her hair a bit more. Taako has never really seen his sister so nervous before, but there she was, hands shaking that was only noticeable to the trained eye. She smiled, her makeup done to perfection and her lips matching her dress ever so perfectly.

“Ready?”

Taako always knew that his sister was beautiful. Their parents had made sure that they were going to be beautiful. But seeing her here, a nervous energy about her, he really realized just how beautiful she is. Her red dress perfectly complimented her warm skin and the subtle eye makeup around her eyes accentuated the color just enough. Barry was going to have a fucking canary when he saw her, that was something Taako knew for sure. Maybe tonight they’ll finally get over the nervous energy that they have with one another and just confess. That would save him from early graying, that’s for sure. 

“Been ready, goofus. Let’s go!” Taako started to walk to the front door, hearing everyone’s shoes click behind him.

“Wait! Pictures!” Merle called out.

“Too late, old man! We’ll just have Mama forward them to you.” Taako opened the front door and walked out, hearing Merle’s cries of protest that he needed to document these things. Too bad, Mama was going to get plenty of pictures of them. Hopefully, he can get her to take pictures of solely Barry and Lup so he could play them out in the wedding slideshow he was making them. He had to be prepared. 

xOx

The suit was way too stuffy for him. He kept having to adjust the collar every so often to let in some sort of air. Maybe it was because the day decided to be exceptionally humid out. Maybe it was because the suit wasn’t his size. Maybe it was because his collar was just way too tight and he should unbutton the top button. Or, maybe it was because Lup looked absolutely stunning in her red dress and he was panicking over how perfect she looked. 

Ma had kept telling everyone how good they looked, snapping photos of all of them and gushing over them like they were going to their first day of school. She was instructing them how to pose and where to stand, and Barry was feeling it since Ma had always paired him up with Lup.

_ “I need the two reds together, Barry. The picture will just be off.” _

So, Barry stood next to Lup, being told to put his arm around her and to hold her hand. He was so close to her that he could smell all the hairspray in her hair, but also the smell of her warm perfume. It was a weird mix, but he felt just a tiny bit relaxed. 

“Oh, wait here, I got something for all of you!” Ma exclaimed, putting down the camera for a second. “Barry, come over here.”

He left Lup and went back into the house, following his Ma to the fridge. She pulled out several boxes and started giving them to him.

“The white ones are for Magnus and Julia, blue one for Lucretia. Taako has the purple sparkly one. You and Lup have red.” Ma listed. Barry looked down and saw the flowers, confusion written on his face. “Help me hand them out to everyone, lovey.”

He was still confused when he walked outside of the house and still confused as to what was going on. 

“Okay, let’s get them all sorted. Magnus, Julia, come here!”

Mama started to hand out the boxes, asking them if they knew how to put them on or not. She had also said that they were gifts from all of the adults. Merle and Davenport had just trusted her more to keep the flowers hidden up until the day of. 

“And, Lup. Here you are, love. Barry, help Lup put hers on while I help Taako, okay?” Ma left just like that, leaving Barry and Lup standing with two boxes of flowers.

“I can put it on myself, it’s just like a bracelet.”

“Nah, I-I can help.” Barry moved forward, coming face to face with Lup. The intensity in her eyes were intoxicating and he found himself lost in them. She cleared her throat and Barry began to go red as he looked at her outstretched left arm. He fumbled opening the box and nearly dropped the flowers several times before he slid the corsage onto her wrist. Barry could feel his face match Lup’s dress and he feared that everyone could see him reacting like this. No one called him out on it though. Magnus and Julia were too busy laughing as they kept failing getting the flowers on Magnus’s suit, while Lucretia was on the phone, probably with their reservations.

“Let me help with yours.” Lup stated, picking up the forgotten box from the floor. 

“No, Lup, I-I can do it myself, promise!”

“Just like you can get in your own contacts? Yeah, no, babe. Besides, someone is supposed to help you with this.” She opened the box much more fluidly than he did, a grace that she has always had. She started to put the flowers on his suit, adjusting every so often until they were perfectly straight on him. “You can’t move, okay? I might poke you with the safety pin if you do.”

Barry nodded, face red. He stayed completely still and was trying not to look at Lup as she pinned it on. 

“There.” She patted the flowers and smiled at him. They stared at each other, Barry feeling his stomach flipping just a bit as he saw Lup’s eyes soften just a bit. She stroked his face just a bit, before she turned away. “You look good, Bear.”

Barry just nodded, feeling completely dumb.

xOx

Prom was lame. In all the movies they made it seem like it was this magical thing full of promise, but in all actuality, it was really boring. It smelled of sweaty teens and there was a shoe pile underneath every table. Lup had danced for the first hour or two, trying to have some fun with it, but then someone tried to get a little handsy with her and she nearly burned his face off. 

Taako seemed to be having a good time. He was dancing with some guy that was in his chem class apparently. Lucretia was up at the stage getting ready to announce prom king and queen. Magnus and Julia were...somewhere? And Barry, well Barry was off in a corner talking to a girl. She tried not to feel jealous over it. Barry could do whatever he wanted. She wasn’t his keeper. She didn’t own him. Still, she felt a little bitter, especially seeing how easy Barry was laughing with this girl. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe the signs she thought she was seeing were off. Maybe he really did just see her as a friend. 

“Okay, we are going to turn it down for a bit for the announcement of prom king and queen. Are you guys ready?”

A big cheer erupted from the crowd and Lup smiled at it, joining in. 

“And your prom king is!” There was a stomping of feet in lieu of a drum roll. “Magnus Burnsides!”

A cheer went up in the air at the proclamation, and Lup couldn’t help but smile as the big guy nearly fell while trying to get onto the stage. He had to lower his head down considerably just to they could crown him.

“And prom queen is!” Another stomping of feet. “Julia Waxman!” More hollers and hoots as Julia made her way to the stage. They crowned her and Magnus swept her off her feet, twirling her around that their crowns both fell off of them. They were so happy which made Lup feel happiness swirl from within. Julia was good for Magnus. Everyone knew that. They were good for one another. Lup just hoped that Barry could see that they could be good together.

Lup put her head down, feeling a headache coming on. She had been up early that morning and she barely tranced the night before. She was too excited to see if Barry would do something. She closed her eyes and didn’t even realize she fell asleep until she felt a warm hand on her. 

“You okay?” Lup raised her head, looking into Barry’s eyes. She could feel her heart leap out of her chest at just the sight of him so near. 

“Yeah, just a little tired.” She answered. She looked around. How long had she been asleep for? There was considerably less people in the room than what she remembered.

“They’re about to play the last song. Do you...would you like to dance with me?” He was so sheepish that he ducked his head down. Lup smiled and nodded her head.

“I’d love to.”

He helped her up just as the last song came on. She recognized it as a Mitski song. Knew it because she had it on her playlist. They obviously didn’t really look into this song and see what it was really about. _ Two Slow Dancers _should not be played at a school prom. 

Barry and Lup made it on the dance floor, both leaving enough room for Fantasy Jesus and Mary Magdalene. They held hands awkwardly, shuffling their feet to the music.

“Did you hear back from the IPRE?” Barry asked suddenly.

“Have you?” He nodded. “And?”

“I got in.” 

Lup smiled, closing the distance between them, now hugging him and swaying to the music. 

“Looks like you can’t get rid of us.” She whispered in his ear. She felt Barry start holding her tight. They swayed back and forth with each other and all Lup could think of was when Barry’s lips were pressed against her own. How she longed to go back in that moment, to feel him all over again. She hadn’t done it right the first time. If she had, she would’ve put all of her love into it. Would’ve told him right after opening night in his room just how she felt about him. She had been so close. Taako had given her a whole ass pep talk in the car, had given them privacy. He had taken even longer in the bathroom doing his night routine. Still, she chickened out. She knew how Barry felt. She knew that he was in love with her, he had to be. She just hoped that he knew her feelings.

So, they swayed together. Lup put her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and pretending that she and him had confessed to one another. Pretended that they were dancing because they finally figured it all out and that they were happy and together. She burrowing her head into his neck, holding back the tears of imagining them together. She felt Barry nuzzling her head just a bit, tightening their connection. Even if this was all that was going to happen between them, it was fine. Just four kisses. That’s fine. It’s fine. She’s fine. 

_ To think that we could stay the same _

She was not fine. She was hungry. She was hungry for Barry. All of him. His smiles, his touch, his kisses. She needed them all before she imploded in on herself. She needed to outwardly say what she felt. She looked up at him, startling him slightly at the suddenness of it all. 

“Barry, I–” her throat constricted. It was too difficult to say it and just when she needed to say it to him the most it wouldn’t let her. These feelings that she had bottled up for him for so long just refused to come out when she needed them most. 

He furrowed his eyebrows and she wanted to kiss him right then and there. But, she hesitated. Why was she hesitating now? Why couldn’t she just say how she felt to him. Her lips would move and before she could embarrass herself even further, she shoved her head right in the crook of Barry’s neck. She breathed in his scent and memorized how he felt beneath her. She didn’t know what else to do. Couldn’t think of what else to do. She kissed his shoulder and hope that it would satisfy her need for him. It didn’t.

He stroked her hair and they swayed to the music. For all they were concerned, everyone else was gone and it was just them.

_ We’re two slow dancers, last ones out _

_ Two slow dancers, last ones out _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of the first half! Thank you all so much for kudosing, bookmarking, and commenting on this story! It really means the world to me! Each of you are all so kind, and I'm so surprised with how this story has been developing!
> 
> I will be taking a break for end of semester! I'm currently in hell week of tech and the play I'm in opens Thursday. I've been dying and crying all at once. To all my other theatre majors out there: We got this. You can do it. You're doing amazing.
> 
> To everyone else taking finals! You got this and are so amazing, I believe in you! Please be sure to not sacrifice any sleep for any last minute studying at 12 am. You need to sleep!!!
> 
> Two Mitski songs were playing in my head when writing this fic! Pink in the Night (which will come up again, lol) and Two Slow Dancers! Both of them are such bops and I love them.
> 
> Next half of the story is going to be college! I have a lot planned for it and I'm super excited to share it all with you guys! I'm planning to be back in 2020, but I could just wait until the semester ends and then resume my schedule. I may also post other fan fictions during my break from this one because I have no self control and a lot of ideas!
> 
> Thank you all once again and I can't wait to see you guys real soon!
> 
> If y'all are in/were in theatre in high school, what was the name of your theatre ghost? Ours was Susan.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College Year 1 
> 
> *Yeehaw*

Moving in day consisted of many things. The swearing, heavy-lifting, and figuring out where to put things were all things Lup could deal with. That was no problem. Mostly the heavy lifting because Magnus was helping everyone move into their dorms like the greatest person he is. What Lup couldn’t deal with were the sad emotions that were making their way in.

It was one thing when she and Taako packed away most of their old room. There were still some memorabilia in there since they would still be going back for breaks. It was another thing when Merle and Davenport were trying to figure out what belonged to which kid who was moving in that day. It was another thing when Mama brought lunch for everyone as they took a break on that hot summer day. It was a whole different story when it reached the end of the day and Merle, Davenport, and Mama Bluejeans were all saying goodbye to them until they visited again in around a months time just to see how they were settling.

She felt a wave of emotions while she was hugging them all goodbye. Suddenly, it had all just hit her and she realized she wouldn’t be seeing their faces every day. It was a different feeling when she and Taako would move around from family member to family member. They couldn’t wait to leave them. Couldn’t wait to finally be rid of them, just like the family couldn’t wait either. It was a similar feeling to when their Auntie had died and they had to move away from Mama and Barry. Had to leave the town they grew up in once and for all. That was what done it. Merle and Davenport’s home was the longest home they have ever known and now...now they were leaving again. 

She kept it together though. She wasn’t going to cry in front of them like this. It wasn’t anything permanent. They were going to come back and she was going to visit during breaks and they were only a call away if she needed anything. 

Still, while she was alone in her dorm room with just herself because her roommates were going to be arriving tomorrow, she couldn’t help but cry. The college had separated Lup and Taako for the first year (something about making sure they didn’t keep to just each other or some shit. It was dumb.) and she didn’t even get a dorm room with Barry. Maybe it was better that way. Scratch that, it was better that way. It wasn’t that she didn’t know how Barry felt about her at this point and vice versa. They both knew that they cared for one another and have for a long time. There was a silent agreement between them. They would see how this year pans out. See if they found someone in college and if not then maybe they’d actually talk about it.

It was stupid. It was hella stupid. There shouldn’t even be this much confusion at this point about it. They both knew, right? She liked Barry and Barry liked her. They should just get together at this point since that was what they both wanted, right? At the same time, there was still that inkling of doubt. It was stupid since it was so obviously wrong. They liked each other and that was it. Though, maybe she was just reading into things. Sure, they kissed and it felt fantastic, but that was for a play. It was different. Maybe if they kissed again she would be able to know? Would he want to kiss her again? 

They couldn’t continue this little dance. She knew this. She was sure he knew this. Maybe it was just because she was the only one who shared the interest he did? Maybe that’s why they gravitate to one another and not because they were in love. They were at college now. They would be able to meet people with like minds, and Barry would move on. They’re better off as friends they’ll realize. Then they’ll laugh about it in Barry’s old age. 

Right. Barry’s old age. She’ll still be a young elf. But Barry, Barry will keep on aging. 

That’s why getting together with him would be a bad idea. That’s what she decided on two years ago practically. Getting together with a human was off limits. Humans lives are fleeting and she won’t be able to do anything about that. She had talked to Mama Bluejeans about it. She had been adamant to stop her search for immortality, that it wasn’t worth the risk. Let things carry on with the natural course. Sure, there were ways to extend life, but to never die? The Raven Queen would cut you down before you even got close. That’s what happened to Gregor. 

_ “Just cherish the moments that you have now with them, lovey. That’s all you have to do.” _

So, it was better that they didn’t get together. If they found out they weren’t compatible, then they would break up. Then everyone in the friend group would be discombobulated for a while, and Lup wouldn’t want them to feel awkward about bringing Barry up. If they got together and ended up spending the rest of Barry’s life together, then Lup wouldn’t know what to do when he died which sounded needy as fuck. She wouldn’t think she would be able to move on after him. That’s disgusting.

This was fine then. Keep being friends, let each other find someone with similar lifespans. Still made her heart hurt. It sucked because Barry was just so easy to love.

A knock sounded at her door and she was tempted to just ignore it. She didn’t feel like answering it. She just wanted to wallow and fall asleep while doing that. Or maybe trance. It felt like a sleeping night though. 

The knocking wouldn’t let up though. It became more persistent which got Lup moving. She knew exactly who it was. She practically sprinted to the door and unlocked it quickly, barely letting the door creak as she thrusted it open. 

Taako was standing there, his blanket wrapped around him tightly. His face looked a bit puffy and gross and he was sniffling. It made her heart ache. She also knew that if she pointed it out he would lie and leave. She didn’t want him to leave her. 

“My roommate snores too much.” 

It was another lie. His roommate wouldn’t be coming until tomorrow and they both knew that. She didn’t call him out on it though. She led him inside and closed the door behind. She took him to her bad and they both sat there. Taako’s sniffling subsiding just slightly. He leaned on her, resting his head on her shoulder and gripping onto her hand. 

“Ko...I don’t know what to do.”

“Bout what?”

“Barry.” She started, twisting a lock of Taako’s hair just a bit. “I think we both know how we feel about one another but...I’m scared.”

“How so?”

“Human life expectancy.”

Taako was silent. She knew he was thinking it over. Trying to piece it all together in his brain as he went over the options. The limited options. The tool to increase life expectancy only gave them another 100 years if that. Lup would still be barely 200 when Barry would die. She needed to be guaranteed longer than that. 

“I thought Mama said that it was a bad idea to think about that.” He reminded, playing with her nails just a bit, chipping some more of her nailpolish off. 

“Yeah, but…” Lup sighed, not knowing where this was going. They both had talked to Mama about it. She had sat them down and told them that it was a foolish idea. She had made them promise not to go looking into anything. Life wasn’t meant to be forever. Lup knew that. It didn’t mean that she couldn’t try, right?

She often thought about her old dance partner. He would go on and on about the natural course of things. It was kind of annoying at the time, especially since she was really getting into thinking about committing death crimes. He really loved and respected the Raven Queen from the way she saw it. It was sort of weird. Sort of her style. But, he just wasn’t her type and she wasn’t his. Taako was definitely more his type.

“Sorry, you came in to be comforted, not be weighed down about feelings and all that gross shit.” She pulled him closer in the embrace and held him there. They tried to get the college to let them share a dorm, but they were being sticklers and said no. At least the first year they had to be separated. Then, they can start sharing a dorm. Hopefully they’ll be able to get an apartment somewhere.

She was also separated from Lucretia since they were foster sisters. She missed her. What she would give to be able to have her as her third roommate. Both of her roommates would be coming tomorrow so she could pick out whichever bed she wanted. 

Also, she hoped that they both would be chill with her brother and friends dropping in like...all the time. 

Barry and Magnus got lucky. They somehow scored a dorm with the two of them. Maybe the school thought that there was no way that this big of a nerd and a meathead could ever know each other. What they didn’t know. 

Classes wouldn’t be starting until next week. She had a whole week to get to know her bearings just a bit more and maybe everything would be fine. And everyone was for the most part. She had her brother next to her. It brought her comfort that he was here with her. The rest of the crew was also somewhere around the school, ready to crack up some form of mischief in the near future. Lup and Taako will probably turn Intro to Complex Magics on its head and make the professor scream. They couldn’t get into the more advanced class even though Taako successfully casted a polymorph spell on her when they were young. Something about the college saying they might learn something new. Unlikely. They’ll see how long they’ll last until they’re switched out to something more in line with their specialties. 

The school really did downplay their specialties. They weren’t even allowed in the advanced culinary class which was fair, but Lup and Taako knew how to boil a fucking egg. They weren’t that far below. Whatever, easy A. The only class they let them in were the advanced science classes because  _ duh _ . For that, they had Mama Bluejeans come in and throw down her recommendations. They were far more advanced than intro to biology and chemistry. They shouldn’t suffer with being in those classes. 

So, they were in the next class up, cleared the requirements the intro classes would’ve taken up and managed to share a class with one another. 

Barry and Lup will probably be graduating early due to clearing most of their pre-reqs during dual enrollment. It was a lot of work, especially since the community college was being immensely difficult to get their transcripts over so they could take the elevated courses. They eventually did, and Lup was left kicking herself for not taking Intro to Complex Magics at the community college.

Still, she will graduate in three years and so will hopefully everyone else due to their AP classes that they had to fight the school to accept. It was a lot, but it was damn worth it. 

Taako nuzzled his head further in her shoulder. He was about to fall asleep sitting up and honestly, his neck nor his back should be put through that torture. As gently as she could, Lup lowered them both down on her tiny bed. Taako stirred just a bit and made a noise of protest before settling in again and wrapping his arms around her. 

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She was going to start anew. Everything was fine. Barry and her were still friends despite their not so complicated feelings. She was surrounded by family at school and her heart was right next to her trying not to fall off the bed. Everything was fine and dandy. 

She felt herself drifting away, feeling a bit more relaxed. Still, that little nagging part of her brain told her things were not fine and she had to tell Barry how she felt for real, coming out of her mouth and not just in silence.

She squashed that thought away with a mallet and turned it into a fine powder.

oXo

The first few months of classes were a challenge to say the least. Even though he thought he was taking easy classes his first semester, there was nothing easy about actually time managing several projects at once. He could handle seven classes plus some extracurriculars in high school like a champ. Meanwhile, his four classes in college has him up all night practically and aged thirty years.

He has had several study sessions with people in his class for his bio class and he still feels like he is anything but prepared for the exam. He wanted to die. He thought he was good when he took the dual enrollment classes, but nothing prepared him for this. 

Lup was also in on those study sessions, looking just as dead as he did. Every time mid session came up, he could always see Lup with her hair all tousled, rubbing her eyes while downing another coffee. They hadn’t had actual time to talk to one another outside of class. In fact, the only person he talked to from their friend group was Magnus who was out a lot of the time to visit Julia. The most he was able to talk to Lup was clarifying if this was how to do something, and even then she would just look at him tiredly and shrug her shoulders because no one knew how to do anything. Everything is made up. Not even the smartest woman he knew could figure it out, they might as well curl up in a ball and cry. Maybe they can hope that the professor will pity them and not totally fail them.

“Hey, Sildar?” It took Barry a moment to realize he was being addressed by his actual Christian name. Being called Sildar was something he was so far removed from that he thought of Sildar Hallwinter as a totally different person. 

“Uh, yeah?” He turned around, running a hand through his graying hair. Another thing that this semester has done to him. Then again, premature graying runs in his family. Besides, Lup had commented that he looked dignified and legit as fuck.

The girl was fidgeting just slightly, not looking at him. She was cute. She had short curly brown hair and was about a foot shorter than him. She reminded him a lot of Lucretia who he missed talking to so much.

“I was wondering if maybe we can have...I don’t know? Go out sometime? I mean, you’re like really nice and super smart and I couldn’t help but uh be attracted to you? Oh, gods, I sound like a loser.” The girl rambled. She pulled at her curls just a bit in her anxiety and Barry felt sorry for her. Especially since he knew that he didn’t want to go out with her. 

“I don’t know. Exams are coming up and I’ve been getting in any bit of studying time I’ve been trying to get, sadly.” He told her, rolling his shoulder. Gods, he really did age thirty years in his first semester of college. He was going to be ancient by the time it was all over. Then there was his masters degree, and then there was his PhD. Oh Gods, he was going to be dust. 

“Oh,” the girl said simply. He really did feel bad for her. It took guts to confess to someone. Barry knew for sure that he has yet to have the guts to tell Lup. Outside of class, he hadn’t really seen much of Lup and she’s been spending more time in Lucretia’s dorm than her own. Apparently one roommate of hers was absolutely dreadful and she couldn’t wait until break so she could get away from her. She spent most of her time in Lucretia’s dorm since both of Lucretia’s roommates mysteriously disappeared and the college never assigned her new ones. She and Taako would hang out in there mostly since apparently Taako also had a dreadful roommate. His other one tended to be MIA. Taako said he was probably getting high on something.

“Yeah, I’m really sorry.” Barry didn’t know what else to say to the girl so he turned and saw Lup frantically put her hair in a bun as she focused on the work in front of her. Another student was next to her trying to explain what they were lost on. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her pencil was being chewed on mercilessly. Barry couldn’t help but sigh at the sight. She was so beautiful. 

“How about after exams and after break? I know that’s a long time, but I’d rather give you enough time to get situated again, ya know. If you want to, that is! I don’t want to force anything on you!” Barry could tell this was the first time she had done anything like this before and he felt so guilty. Gods, he didn’t want to crush her or anything but to go out with someone he didn’t really know about? He wasn’t so sure. 

“I just don’t know, I’m sorry. I really appreciate you going out of your way and doing this, but I just don’t know.” He wasn’t trying to be rude, but he really didn’t understand anything. He was so caught up in exams that he couldn’t really process anything just right.Right after a nap. His brain was turning to mush. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name?”

The girl startled a bit and just as he looked over to Lup who was starting to bounce in her chair as the student next to her was getting it. She very excitedly nodded her head and a big grin was beginning to form. 

“Oh! It’s uh, it’s Polly. I know, not as dignified as Sildar but, it’s my name.” The girl shrugged as she averted eye contact.

Barry sighed and shook his head. He really didn’t want to be rude to her, and it had taken guts to talk to him, he knew that. He knew that all too well. But, he just didn’t want to go out with her. He had his own problems at hand and if he ended up in a relationship with her, then he didn’t want to make her feel any sort of negative way because he wouldn’t be able to love her like he loved Lup. As Lup would say, that wasn’t very cash money of him.

“My name isn’t Sildar. Just call me Barry, okay? And I’m really am sorry but I just have to decline.” Polly furrowed her eyebrows just a bit but nodded her head. 

“That’s okay. I understand. Thanks for being honest with me, Barry!” She smiled at him and turned to leave. Barry just nodded tiredly. She waved as she began to walk away and Barry could barely pick up on it to wave back. Gods he was exhausted. He didn’t even know he was falling asleep standing up until he felt a weight on his shoulders startling him. 

“Hey, Barry Blue, wanna swing by Cretia’s room? Me and Taaks are cooking.” Lup was suddenly next to him and he couldn’t believe she was so close and he had just noticed. He could make out the bags under her eyes and see the new wrinkle in between her eyebrows. She seemed to be wearing yesterday's eyeliner which wasn’t like her. Lup was very particular about her skin care and did it every night and morning. She’s been trying to get Barry to moisturize more, but he can’t seem to find the time to. 

“Yeah, I guess so.” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. His glasses were smudged from constantly rubbing them against his face, but he can’t seem to find his glasses cloth and doing it on any other piece of clothing just seemed to smudge them even more.

“You okay, babe?” Lup faced him full on, putting her hands on his cheeks and checking him. A frown was on her face, and he could see that her lipstick was smudged just a bit. Lup would never let her lipstick get so smudged like that.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Are you okay? Your lipstick–”

“Oh! That! I uh. I spent the night at some guys dorm last night and uh...I was running late for the study sesh that I didn’t have time to actually look presentable? No big deal.”

Lup...spending the night at someone's dorm...makeup all smudged and not the usual Lup perfection and...oh. _Oh._ _Okay._

Lup must’ve seen the look on Barry’s face because her eyes went wide and started to quickly wave her hands.

“Oh no, Barry, it wasn’t anything like that! We didn’t even hook up, just made out on his couch for a bit. He was a really bad kisser, too. Too much tongue if you know what I mean. Felt like one of Magnus’ dogs were kissing me and that...gross.” Lup shuddered. “Anyway, we were both super trashed, that’s why I spent the night.” 

“Oh fuck are you–”

“Super hung over and trying to keep it together so no one knows? Oh yeah. Come on, I was promised with some greasy food tonight for dinner.” Lup pulled down the sun glasses resting on her head and slung her arm around his shoulders again as she led him to Lucretia’s dorm.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Oh, I’m 100% not okay. It’s fine, I have my bag for pukin and I took some painkillers before showing up. I’m sure it’ll be fine-ish. As long as I don’t puke in Taako’s presence, I’m fine.” She explained, removing her arm from his shoulder and moving down to his free hand and lacing them together. He could feel his cheeks start to heat up and his face involuntarily broke out in a smile at the contact. He might’ve not really talked to Lup outside of an academic setting, but he was glad that she was still comfortable enough to hold his hand like this. He gave a little squeeze which she sent back to him just as enthusiastically. 

This could be his only chance to ask her out before exams and then pack up to go home for the holidays. This could be the only time he spends some one on one time with her for a bit and he really shouldn’t pass it up because she makes him tongue tied at inopportune moments in his life. She leaned her head on his shoulder as best as she could as they walked, and Barry felt at least ten years be added to his life. 

“Hey, Lup?”

“Yeah, Bear?” She was quiet, probably trying to make sure her headache wouldn’t come roaring back and make her life a living hell. Or maybe she was nauseous. Out of all the times he had seen Lup hung over, she had always complained about being nauseous, but never puked. Still there were a couple of times where she rushed to the bathroom and he followed to help her with her hair just in case. 

Maybe this was a bad time. Lup wasn’t feeling well and...no. She wouldn’t have invited him to Lucretia’s if she didn’t want to spend time with him. He had to stop making up excuses. She was Lup, she would tell him straight up if she didn’t want to. 

“Would you like to...you know?”

“You know what, babe?” There was a slight tease to her voice and Barry had to keep himself from laughing awkwardly at her antics. Gods, he was so in love with her. 

“You know, do you wanna maybe. I don’t know? Would you–”

“Hey look, it’s Polly!” Lup interrupted suddenly. “Hey, Polly!” Lup waved the girl over enthusiastically. Polly for her part walked over very robotically and avoiding Barry’s eyes for very obvious reasons. Lup for her part looked super excited. 

“Barry, you have to know Pols, right? She’s like super cool.” At this Polly ducked her head, her cheeks darkening just a bit. 

“I...I don’t know about that?” She stuttered out. She seemed uncomfortable, something he saw that Lup sensed because suddenly Lup was over with her, putting an arm around her shoulders, smiling at Barry. 

“I think so. She’s like super smart too, Bear!” Lup smiled at him and he felt the world just stop right there and he’s never felt so much love before. “Maybe you should hang with her some more? I think you two would hit it off really well!”

Polly stepped back just a bit, doe eyes wide. 

“No, no, that’s okay!” Polly put her hands up. 

“You did ask him to hang out, right?” Lup cocked her head to the side and suddenly it fell into place. Lup was moving on from him. That’s what it had to be. She no longer had those feelings that he had just found out about and now she was done with him. Polly lowered her head just a bit and started to fidget with her fingers.

“I-I mean y-yeah?” 

Barry felt his world turning upside down. Lup no longer loved him. That’s what this was all about. She was trying to make it easier on him because she had to know how he felt about her. She was trying to soften the blow on how to tell him she was no longer interested and that he waited too long. He had slept on getting the best woman he could ever ask for. He really wished he slept last night instead of done this.

“Pols, you should give him your number, kay? I know you’re supes busy with exams right now, Bear. And then we go back for Candlenights. But, when we come back, right?” Lup was smiling so brightly and Barry just felt sick. Oh gods he really missed his opportunity. 

“I mean, only if he wants to.”

He was beginning to tune them out, static was clouding his thoughts and he felt so stupid. Gods, she no longer felt the same way anymore. Why was he acting like this? Lup could do whatever she wanted. It wasn’t like they were dating or anything like that. They were just friends and that’s all. Whatever he thought they had was obviously his imagination. 

“Yeah, here.” He said suddenly, shuffling a bit to get a scrap of paper from his books and a pen. He scribbled down his number quickly, feeling the pit of his stomach fill with guilt and distress. It’s fine, this was fine. Well, really it wasn’t fine for the moment, but it will be. It will all be sorted out. This too shall pass. He’ll get over Lup, he’ll be fine. It’s going to be fine. Everything was fine.

Polly yelped just a bit as he handed her his number. Her cheeks looked like they were burning and she accepted the slip of paper with a small thanks. He didn’t even hear whatever Lup and her were discussing because he was so far in despair that Lup no longer loved him like that. Or, maybe she had never loved him like that. 

Polly was apparently gone because Lup’s arm was over his shoulders again and she was leading him to Lucretia’s dorm.

“Polly’s great. I’m sure you two are gonna hit it off really well!” 

His mind went on autopilot after that. 

xOx

Now, why in fucks name did Lup do that? Maybe it was because Polly really was a good person who she had seen staring at Barry a lot during study sessions. Obviously Polly had good taste. Barry was fucking hot. Maybe it was because Lup felt guilty over something. All her makeout sessions with other people. She was hurting him and she felt guilty. She just wanted to give him something good, and Polly checked marked every single one of those boxes.

Maybe it was because she was giving up on him.

After all, it had been years and he knew how she felt. He never initiated anything in the past year of finding out, though. Maybe she had read him all wrong. Maybe he didn’t love her the way she loved him. She didn’t want to be rejected either. That would hurt her even more. Barry deserved someone nice and sweet. Everything that Polly was.

That was why when Polly had come up to her one study session and confessed how she felt about Barry, Lup was going to make sure it happened. Barry deserved this. He deserved some sort of happiness and it wasn’t like  _ she  _ was dating him. Her window of opportunity had closed in on her rapidly. If she really was smart, she would’ve just confessed to him the day before they moved into the dorms. Back when they were sitting in the grass of the playground, looking at the stars together. It had seemed he had wanted to kiss her. Maybe he did. But that was gone now. 

Barry didn’t deserve to be led around, she needed to let him go and let him become his own person.

That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. 

She had relented to Taako during break when she was feeling really out of it. Barry had told her that he and Polly had settled on a date on when they wanted to meet up and she had been feeling down about it. Taako knew. Taako saw. 

“You’re a fucking dumbass.” Taako rolled his eyes at her as he stroked her hair. 

“I know, but Barry deserves happiness, you know?” Taako mumbled something that she couldn’t quite make out and she propped herself up. “What?”

“I just said you’re a goofus.”

She knew he was lying but didn’t press on it. Instead, they switched topics and talked about a boy that had been in one of Taako’s elective classes this past semester. Apparently he was really annoying and super pretentious. He was also super hot. She knew that Taako caught mad feelings for him. 

She teased him for it, only to get a mouthful of pillow. They had laughed and for a second, she felt lighter than before. Only for a second though. Candlenights happened in a strange blur that she couldn’t quite remember, and suddenly, she was back at campus. 

Her roommate, Lydia, was still there and still awful, so she made a beeline to Lucretia’s dorm. With all Lydia’s talk about switching rooms the last semester, she still didn’t do it. The universe really was out to get her. She entered Lucretia’s dorm and flopped on her bed. Lucretia didn’t even look up from the journal she was writing in, just shifted a bit to make room for her. 

“What’s wrong?”

“What if you fucked something up super bad and there’s no way to reverse it?” Lup looked at her friend with pleading eyes, hoping for some words of wisdom.

“Erase everyone’s memories and try again.” Lucretia said, and Lup had no idea if she was kidding or not. 

“Creesh...what in the fuck?” Lup let out an awkward laugh and sat up on the bed. Lucretia smirked just a bit, closing her journal and setting it aside. She opened her arms up and Lup crawled in them. Just as they always did.

“Kidding,” she assured as she stroked her hair. Lup could’ve sworn that she was not at all kidding. She eyed her warily. “What’s really bothering you?”

Lup hadn’t told Lucretia about her crush on Barry. Not because she didn’t trust her, more so because she didn’t want a lot of people knowing in general. Taako was different. He was her other half. Her own heart. He would’ve found out one way or another.

“I don’t know. Maybe just thinking about mortality again and how everything sucks.” She nuzzled her head back onto Lucretia’s shoulder. Maybe she was feeling bad because she knew today was the day Barry and Polly were having their little hang out. She knew they were going to hit it off well. They were so alike in so many ways. She was probably a bit more compatible for Barry over her. Polly was calm and soft-spoken. Whereas she was super chaotic all the time. She nearly set fire to the lab for gods sake. It was an accident, obviously, but Barry deserved someone a bit more calm and relaxed than her.

She sighed against Lucretia. She missed hanging out with her and just being around her in general. While they were growing up, they would have scheduled days to just talk and goof off with one another. Now, they were both way too busy to even schedule something like that.

“Let’s have a girls night!” Lup popped up, nearly whacking Lucretia in the jaw with her head. “We haven’t had one of those in a while.”

“You’re not wrong, but I can’t help that you’re avoiding something, Lup.”

“Oh, of course, I’m just avoiding all of my reading that I neglected over the break. Oops, you caught me!”

“Lup.”

“Come on, Creesh, girls night, girls night, girls night!” She was trying to get Lucretia to stop looking at her with her lips pursed together in a frown and her eyebrows furrowed. If she were to look at her like that even more, then Lup would burst and confess everything to her. That’s the last thing she wanted. She didn’t want to spend the rest of the night thinking about Barry J Bluejeans and about how great of a time he’s spending with Polly.

Thankfully, Lucretia saw that and relented. She sighed and stretched.

“Okay. Wanna throw eggs at that one frat boy house? The one that wouldn’t leave us alone?” Lup knew that Lucretia sensed that she needed to let off some steam. Also, it’s perfect because the boys who lived there wouldn’t be back for another two days. They would never know that they destroyed their place.

“Thank gods, let’s go.”

oXo

Barry really tried to not enjoy himself while he was on the date with Polly. He had walked in on that thinking that he would hate it and be miserable because he has been in love with Lup for so long and she was the only one for him. No one else could ever come close to her. He was ready to get the date over with and leave it at that. Tell her that he appreciated the time they spent together, but he was just not that interested in her. He was going to tell her that he liked her better as a potential friend than partner. 

Except, once he really started talking with her and heard how enthusiastic she got when a subject came up that really interested her, Barry couldn’t help but be intrigued. There was a spark in her eyes that was just so interesting to see, something he didn’t expect to see from her since she tended to be quiet most of the time. 

Polly had really interesting ideas, too. She spoke of her theories in such a way that had Barry asking her for more. She was just really fun to talk to, especially about science. She was bright and seemed to relax immensely on talking about her favorite things.

It wasn’t just science they had in common. They shared plenty of other interests that only Lup and Taako knew about. That made him think just a bit more. She was really kind and smart. She had a kind smile and was just overall really cool to be around. But, there was still something off. Something was telling him that he shouldn’t take the plunge. That no, she wasn’t right for him and it’ll only hurt her in the long run. It was his loving Lup side coming out to play. The very thing that led him astray for so long.

He had to get over Lup once and for all. He knew that. She was going out with other people and having fun. She probably never felt the same way about him and he was just making it up. Lup just wanted to be friends, and that was okay. Friends was perfectly fine because they were great friends and he could love her like one. 

Besides, Polly was super great.

There was still something a little bit off with this whole situation. He just couldn’t place his finger on what it was. He told his brain that this was him moving on from Lup and Polly was really nice. Polly had a nice smile and laugh. Polly clapped her hands excitedly whenever he said something that she also thought was great. Polly would make anyone happy that she got in a relationship with, and he could potentially be one of them.

Still, something was off and he had no idea what it was. 

He walked Polly back to her dorm, holding her hand the entire time. An easy smile was on his face and she shared in that. They looked like a really happy couple, but still something felt strangely off.

It was probably because his brain was trying to tell him that he was supposed to be with Lup. He tried to tell it that he was supposed to be with whoever he wanted to. Polly was nice and great. They were so alike in so many ways, so why not? They would make a good couple and it’ll be fine. Besides, Lup was beyond him already. There was no getting her back. 

“I had a really good time tonight.” Polly’s voice was so quiet that he had a hard time hearing her. It was a lot different from hearing the twins or anyone else from their friend group talk. It was strange to tune his ear for such a meek voice.

“I had a really nice time, too.” Barry said it with such ease. He wasn’t lying and he couldn’t help the soft smile forming on his face. 

Polly’s eyes sparkled just a bit and she smiled again broadly.

“Maybe we can do this again sometime?”

“Definitely,” Barry surprised himself with saying it so quickly though. Polly giggled just a bit before giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

“I’ll text you to see when you’re next available then.” She promised, opening her door and sliding inside. “Thank you again. Have a nice night.”

“You too.” 

He waited until he heard the click of her door before sighing just a bit. He couldn’t help the smile on his face. He had another date with a girl. Okay. That was something. 

Still, a part of his brain was yelling at him for doing this. Telling him that it needed to listen to it. He promptly ignored it. 

oXo

Lup for once was in her own dorm room. It was so shocking that she forgot where she was when she first woke up this morning. Huh. Strange. She wondered when she stumbled in here after drinking with Lucretia. Maybe Creesh led her here because she didn’t want to deal with hungover Lup, which  _ fair.  _ Her head pounded so badly that she officially hated Drunk Lup. The Lup that said she was fine over and over again saying she could go in for another drink. Her liver was going to hate her and she wasn’t even 100 years old yet. 

She was so thankful that Lucretia had set up some pain killers and a large glass of water. At least someone still had her wits. Lup popped two pills in and chugged the water like she did the really bad wine just the night before. As far as she knew, she wasn’t so drunk that she started sobbing. Good on her, she did it.

The door to her room opened, and she was caught like a deer in headlights seeing Barry, who was just as shocked to see her in the room.

“So you are in here.” His voice was booming and the painkillers had yet to kick in. She felt like curling up and dying. 

“Barry, not so loud.” She groaned, flopping down on her bed. She heard Barry walking over and then the bed dipping. Barry started to stroke her hair and she had to hold herself back from sighing. 

“Are you hung over again?” His voice was softer and she really appreciated that.

“Just a bit. Creesh and I got wild last night.” 

“I’m pretty sure it was just you getting wild last night. Creesha seems fine.” Hearing that, Lup groaned again. Lucretia probably nursed her third glass of wine while she kept pouring some more. Fuck she’s smart. 

She flipped over, and immediately regretted it with how her stomach felt. Oh gods, was this going to be the time where she actually threw up? She probably shouldn’t have drank that water so fast either. Man, she was filled with great decisions this morning. 

She looked at Barry who seemed to be carrying himself a bit lighter. Why would that happen? What happened that would–oh shit. Yesterday was Barry’s hang out? Date? Whatever. She was just the worst person ever and completely forgot about it until now.

“How was Polly?”

She saw his face go through a mix of emotions and she could feel the pit of her stomach twist uncomfortably. She didn’t know what she wanted. On one hand, she wanted Barry to be happy, even if it wasn’t with her. On the other, she wanted to be with Barry. Gods, her window had closed. Why didn’t she confess to him before? Why were emotions so weird?

“She’s great, Lup.” He sighed. She felt the color drain from her face just a bit. “We’re going on another date next week.” 

Lup suddenly couldn’t breathe. Oh fuck. She and Barry were officially over. He liked Polly, and what wasn’t there to like? Polly was super cute and nice. She and Barry deserved that. She should be happy that her best friend was happy. Yet, here she was struggling not to cry and she was too hung over to be dealing with these emotions. Fuck. 

“That’s great, Bear!” She tried to sound happy. It’s what he deserves. Barry was happy and that’s all she could ever want for him. So what if it wasn’t with her? Barry had his own life to lead. It was also better this way since Polly was also human. They could grow old together, whereas she and Barry could never have the luxury.

“You think?” There was something in his voice, a slight hesitation. She pushed it aside. It didn’t mean anything. 

“Hell yeah! Lil Barry is growing up!”

She was being too loud and that was only causing her pain in her head. Still, she would rather have the pain in her head than the pain in her heart. Fuck, was this what heartbreak felt like? She wanted Barry out of her room. She wanted Taako to come swooping in and comfort her. She wanted to die just a little bit on the inside. Fuck, Shakespeare was right, teens are mellowdramatic and think one heartbreak is the end of the world. 

She chatted a bit with Barry before kicking him out, complaining about her headache. Really, she was just hurting too much and he was the last person she wanted to see. He looked a little disappointed when she asked him to go, but he complied. She waited at least ten minutes before getting her stone out and sending a text to Taako.

_ Lil Binch >:3 _

_ Twin Time. _

It was a simple two word text, but it got the message across. Five minutes later, Taako was over at her place and immediately took her in his arms. She sobbed for about an hour before she broke down and told him what was actually up.

“Gods, Lup, you’re such an idiot.” Taako softly told her. That got her crying even harder. That was true. Her heart hurt and she didn’t know what to do. Still, he held her close and rubbed her back. Gods, she was so stupid. She should’ve known better about her feelings and how she would feel. But, really she was thinking about Barry and his happiness. Barry deserved every bit of happiness and Polly could give that to him. They would be able to grow old and experience life together. It was better this way. She and Barry would never get that. This was fine. She had to let him go and she was. Everything was fine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hawyee, I'm back and feeling dead! Hope everyone had a rootin' tootin' holidays. I sure got way too drunk on Christmas. I was a mess. Rip. I missed all of you and I'm excited to be back on a schedule. Next chapter is already done and it's a lot. Consider yourselves warned. 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and Kudos and bookmarks, y'all are the best and keep me motivated to actually update this thing on time!
> 
> Wanna check out my instagram? I've been cosplaying as Lup for the past few months! You can find me at MoonlightxStars!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know what? Y'all deserve an apology for this next chapter...I'm so sorry.
> 
> College year 2

The end of the first semester of year two was looming over Lup as she poured over her textbook. Life was going great. She had two essays to write, her lab report, a project and presentation, and her music class to practice because she obviously had everything in her life under control! She didn’t know why she thought she could handle the music class. It was a lot more than what she thought it would be. But, she missed playing her violin and needed to muse over being a sad girl in the privacy of a practice room. 

A buzz came from her stone and she groaned. She knew exactly who it was from and she wanted to throw it across the room. Some guy that she hooked up with last month was trying to message her again. This was even after she told him to leave her alone. He kept saying how he felt a connection between them, and that she was the one for him. Gods, she told him no strings and here he was trying to put strings on her. She looked down at her stone and read the message. It was gross and not at all how you spoke to a girl that you were trying to force into a relationship. She blocked and deleted his number. 

Another buzz and another hookup guy. This time it was from a guy two days ago. Fingernail boy. She had to hold back her vomit as she thought about him. Everyone in the friend group had heard about him. 

Technically, Barry was the first one to hear about him. He was the only one home in the shared apartment and she had to say something about him. She was later than when she said she’d be home by and Barry had asked her where she’d been. She promptly told him she was nursing herself back to health from the worst time she had ever had. 

_ “Barry, his fingernails were so fucking long! I thought he was going to cut them before going to town, but nope! I had to stay in that bed for at least three hours after it was all done because the pain was awful.” _

Yup, after that, she had told herself that she wouldn’t have another hook up any time soon. A lot of the boys she had hookups with tended to be too clingy afterward, or just didn’t understand how to actually pleasure someone. So, nope, no more. It worked for some people, but she wasn’t one of them. She only started up with it as a way to forget about her feelings for Barry, which was a bad coping mechanism that she was well aware of. 

Taako didn’t know she was doing it as a bad escape. When she started it, he was happy for her. Telling her to do what her heart desired. She was sure if he did know her reasonings, he would be singing a different tune. 

She looked down at her stone, saw the text from Fingernails, cringed again, and blocked and deleted his number as well. She was too exhausted and too swamped with work that she didn’t even want to think about any of that. She really needed to study for this exam, especially if she wanted to graduate next year. She just wanted to go off and start her masters already so that she could one step closer to leaving. 

Leaving, running away from her problems. Gods, she was such a baby. She would only do it for a little while, just to get her bearings right and to give herself time away from Barry and his whole thing. She didn’t want to deal with that right now, but it was coming out.

Living with Barry had been a challenge thus far. Their plans were already set in stone before his whole thing and now, it felt awkward. Her feelings were still pretty strong for him, obviously, and seeing him with Polly being all happy and cute...she wasn’t jealous, no. But, she was  _ something _ and she felt like an intruder with him now. Now, every time she saw him it would pain her and she didn’t know how to stop it. She felt like such a loser over it. 

She voiced these concerns with Taako and he just shook his head and muttered something about how dumb everyone was. He was also spending less time with her. She felt a little isolated from everyone, especially since Magnus was living with Julia and Lucretia preferred to have her own place for a bit longer. 

She could feel everything crumbling around her and she needed to leave. She needed to get out and fast. She had this year and next year. She can get through that. She was fine. Everything was fine.

The section she was reading decided to confuse her and now she was crying. 

Fuck.

She was really breaking down because of this passage. Was this what her life was going to now? Was she really crying over this? No. She wasn’t crying over that. She was crying over how she felt she was losing touch with everyone she has ever held dear in her life. She was separated from her parental figures for most of the year, her brother was doing  _ something  _ or more so  _ someone.  _ Magnus and Julia were discussing about settling down and talking about getting married. Lucretia has been isolating herself a bit more than usual, and Barry. Well, Barry had a girlfriend now. Barry was no longer always there for any reason she may need him. 

Everything was changing and she felt like she was the one who wasn’t changing with it. She felt trapped, confined. She felt like she was in a dark room with no way to get out. She could say she was fine all she wanted but that was a grand old lie. She almost felt forgotten about, and that just made her feel like even more of a whiny baby. Who could forget her? She wasn’t an old umbrella that people could just forget. She was here, all here and–

And her notes were all destroyed thanks to her crying. Fanfuckingtastic.

Even though she knew that and saw that, she couldn’t stop the tears. Okay, fine. She had a lot on her plate right now, but that’s fine. She can take a break. She hadn’t been sleeping well for a while, and it has gotten to the point where trancing wouldn’t help. She needed sleep. She could also use a hug, but maybe later. She closed her text book and went to her bed and plopped down on it. Gods she was so tired. This was good for her. This is what she deserved. Her stone buzzed again and she swore to the gods that if it was that girl she hooked up with she was throwing something.

She didn’t get back up. She closed her eyes, ignored the persistent buzzing, and fell asleep. 

oXo

Barry was indeed feeling the stress of this year. He was also feeling the stress of keeping up with his school work and relationships. He spent more time with Polly, which he felt guilty over, than with anyone else. They had been dating for almost a year now and even though he assumed everything was fine with them, he couldn’t help but feel that it was all a lie.

Maybe it was just the residual feelings he had for Lup coming forth. He had loved her for so long and it would take him a long time to officially be over her. He understood that. Maybe he was wrong to get into a relationship with Polly. It wasn’t fair to her that he still had feelings for his best friend. She deserved more. She deserved someone who–

“Barry, are you listening?” Came her soft voice. She had put her hand on his, but he hadn’t even noticed that she did. Usually that would get him out of whatever headspace that he was in. 

“No, I’m sorry, I was lost in thought.” He confessed. It would be a bad idea to lie. Nothing ever came out of lying, especially if asked he was paying attention when he so clearly wasn’t. Polly for her part just smiled kindly and retracted her hand from his. 

“That’s fine. You’re thinking about the exams?”

He was thinking about them for a quick second before turning his attention back to Lup and everything. Gods, why was everything such a mess? Ever since he told Taako he was dating Polly, he’s been acting off with him. It was understandable. He was probably miffed at him for ditching his sister for someone else. Maybe that’s how he saw it. What he didn’t know was that Lup practically set him and Polly up. He wasn’t going to tell him that. More so to the fact Taako barely let him get two words in the conversation before announcing he was going to meet up with someone. He always told them not to ask who because it was none of their business. Barry had seen on several occasions how hurt Lup looked every time he did that. The way she bit her bottom lip and furrowed her eyebrows. She would wish him well and retreat to her room. Something has been up with her that he couldn’t quite place his finger on and it worried him. 

“Yeah, partially. Organic chemistry is going to end me.” It wasn’t a lie. Organic chemistry really took about 40 years of his life expectancy. Just when he finally fueled that up again, it was taken from him in a blink of an eye. 

“Right? And the professor isn’t doing anything to help out! I keep asking him if he can explain some things and he goes on a whirlwind explanation about his trips.” Polly sighed, rubbing her forehead. “Do you know if Lup gets any of this? She hasn’t been in any of the study sessions as of late and I could really use her help.”

That is true. The last time Lup had been in their organic chemistry was at the beginning of the semester. Then, she just mysteriously disappeared. No one knew where she went, Hell, Barry didn’t even know where she went. She was still in class but Barry rarely saw her beyond that and he lived with her. He may see Lup once at the apartment and she’s always talking with Taako in a hushed voice. As soon as they see him, Taako announces he’s leaving and Lup goes into her room for the night. It’s super frustrating and isolating. Especially since he found out from Merle that Taako has been visiting him more often with Magnus. Barry just felt replaced and unneeded. Why was he even sharing an apartment with Taako and Lup when they didn’t even want to spend time with him anymore?

This was something that they had been planning since they were kids. They’ve always wanted to live with one another, and finally it came. Only, they avoided each other like the plague now. It was so weird. Gods how Barry missed them both. 

“I don’t really know where Lup’s been if I’m being honest.”

“Oh. Don’t you live with her though?” Polly tilted her head just so and bit her cheek. Barry felt bad that he really didn’t feel anything. 

“Yeah but she hasn’t really been home recently. And if she is then she’s in her room. Only one who can sort of go in there is Taako but he’s also been avoiding the place.” He explained, tapping his pencil just a bit. He felt like his whole life was falling apart and he didn’t know how to stop it. The twins didn’t talk to him as much as they used to, and he didn’t feel like he could go to Lucretia and Magnus about it since they were also the twins friends. He also didn’t think he could go to Polly about it since she barely knew them. She had met everyone a couple of times, but he could tell she was uncomfortable with all of them. It also didn’t help that Taako was being a dick the entire night. 

“Huh.”

“Yeah. Huh.”

They sat in silence for the rest of their little meeting. Gods. Everything just felt wrong and he couldn’t place a finger on it. 

oXo

To say Taako was pissed was an understatement. He’s been angry all year and it was beginning to drain him. All the times he tried to get Barry and Lup together and then they both go and pull this. They were both annoying him because as smart as they were, they were both so dumb. 

He had thought he had drilled that into his sister’s head. Told her to just tell Barry about everything and how she felt. Told her to do it before someone else did. Then what did she do? She went off and decided to be a martyr in her own love life.  _ ‘Barry deserves someone better!’  _ Bullshit, she was better than everyone he has ever met. The fact that she thinks that Barry can even  _ find _ better is laughable. There was no one better than Lup. Not for Barry. She was his match. 

Then, when he thought he would just spell it out to Barry himself to ask his dumb sister out, Barry decided to date someone else. The absolute fucking nerve of him. For years he’s listened to this man pine after his sister and this is what happens? He doesn’t even get to see them get together after everything? Those two gave him some figurative gray hair and he was pissed. 

Lup went on and on about how Barry needed to find a good human girl so he could grow old with her. She went on about how she’ll be fine until she’s at least 300. Gods, she was such a bad fucking liar. 

That was why Taako took himself out of the situation altogether. He was going to separate himself, and if his dear sister tried to talk about Barry, he’ll just leave because he’s done with it. Done with helping those two figure their lives out. He started hanging out with Magnus more since he lived further away from campus and no one would guess that he went all the way there with his driving skills. Then, Taako found out that Magnus took weekend trips to visit with Merle and Davenport just to see his dogs. Taako began to accompany him on said trips, needing to space out his time with Lup and Barry. Taako chatted with Merle, actually made him edible food, and made comments about how gross he was for his thing for plants. It was good for him. Hanging out with the two of them was good. 

Taako then finally really started chatting to that one boy who was in his class the previous year and they were really hitting it off. He felt great. He was going on dates and having fun with him. This was the self-care he needed. He finally had someone to vent to about the whole Barry and Lup situation that was outside of their friend group, and he has never felt better. He’s been spending more time over at his boy’s apartment than his own recently and the separation has been going well.

There was also another thing that was great about this boy. He saw Taako as Taako. He didn’t see him as a pair of something. Sure, he knew that Taako had a twin, but as far as Taako knew, this boy didn’t know Lup. As much as he loved being part of a pair, he also loved just being Taako instead of being  _ ‘the Twins’  _ or  _ ‘Taako and Lup _ .’ This was good for him. Kravitz was good for him.

So, of course when he told him that he really should go back to his own apartment tonight to assure his sister he was indeed alive, Kravitz told him that it was perfectly understandable and hoped to see him the next day. Taako grinned and kissed him, assuring him that he was indeed seeing him tomorrow. 

He hasn’t been so happy in a while and when he was walking back to his apartment, he was sure no one could disrupt it. No one could. He opened the door and upon opening it, saw his sister with a nest of messy blonde hair and a cup of something in front of her. Her back was to him, but Taako knew something was up. He came up behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder. 

“You good?” He asked in the too quiet room. He felt like he was in a graveyard with how still everything was. Lup barely reacted to him. Instead, she lifted her head just a bit and looked at him with glazed eyes. She blinked a couple of times, but the bleariness and the obvious lack of trancing or sleeping was evident. She sighed, rubbing her eyes a bit.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just tired.” Her voice sounded rough and unused. She was scaring him.

“Yeah, no you’re not.” He grabbed at the other chair and placed it closer before sitting next to her. He took her hand and started stroking it. “Is there anything I can do to help? I can sing that song for you. You know how much you love that song.”

Lup gave him a puzzled look, before recognition lit up in her eyes. A small smile appeared on her face just a bit.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I would. I would sing  _ the song  _ just for you because you’re my favorite little sister–”

“I’m your only sister and I’m only like two minutes younger, dingus.”

“And it seems like you need it.” Taako stood up abruptly, looking at his sister dead in the eyes. “Lupine, I will literally sing you  _ the  _ song, all you have to do is say the word.”

“That’s not my full name, Taaks.” A bigger grin was on Lup’s face. He wasn’t going to ask her about what was really wrong. He had a feeling he knew what it was. Her classes had been taking a toll on her recently, and just a week or so ago her frustration about a specific class–something about magical items and making them–went overboard. The item she was making practically exploded right in front of her, causing it to ruin most of the lab. She had been put on probation ever since then and with exams on the rise, he could tell she was getting angry. This was her final project for this class and she couldn’t even make her magical item properly. 

He recognized a little glove in front of her. Menacing to look at if he was being honest, and not typically Lup’s style of magical items. She must’ve caught him staring because she sighed. 

“It’s supposed to change shape depending on your intentions with it.” She explained, not touching the claw like glove. “It’s supposed to change like fire.”

“Change like fire?”

“Like...fire is usually seen as something destructive and lethal. But, on the other hand, it gives warmth and it can be nurturing.” Lup sighed again, rubbing her forehead. “I’m not explaining this right at all.”

“No, no, I get it. So, this form is in what? The lethal and deadly stage?” 

“Yeah. But, with each person, it can change the shape. Look.” Lup picked the claw glove up again and immediately it changed. It was no longer so daunting to look at anymore. Suddenly, it was delicate and would make a really good fashion statement at a party. It was exactly Lup’s style.

“I call it the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet. It’s supposed to be a specific focus for evocation wizards. Too bad everyone who has tested with it ends up destroying something.” Lup gently put the gauntlet down again and it changed back into the claw like glove. It gave Taako the creeps. 

“Everyone except for you, right?”

“Well, yeah, I’m the one who made it so I know how to control it. Everyone else? Not so much. My professor thinks it’s too difficult to master and wants me to try again. Said if I destroy another part of the lab then he’ll have no choice but to suspend me. It just sucks because I’ve been working on this thing since the beginning of the semester and now I have to pull out another magic item focus.” Lup groaned, putting her head in her hands. 

“Except, it’s not really your fault for being an absolute genius. Everyone else just sucks and has fucked up morals.” Taako told her, picking up the gauntlet gently. It changed its shape back to the pretty jewels.

“As its creator I have to take full responsibility. I just wish I didn’t find out that all of my classmates were basically sadists.” Lup pulled at a sketchbook next to her and began flipping through the pages. Taako put down the gauntlet and looked at the pages as she stopped on one. It was a picture of an umbrella of all things. 

“Are you evoking endless rain showers with this because Taako does not like being wet.” That got a laugh out of Lup as she shook her head.

“No, it’s just another focus. This one doesn’t have a class specialty for the most part.” She explained, darkening some of her lines. 

“Are you really Mary Poppinsing this class, Lulu? Because I don’t think that’s a good look.”

“I mean I guess you can cast feather fall and look like her. Or maybe more so Princess Peach.” She added a name to the page and Taako had to stop himself from laughing. 

“Are you serious, Lup? The Umbrastaff? That sounds like it came straight from a D rated horror movie. Also, are you keeping this design? Because it’s ugly and you’ll look like a clown.”

“I happen to like it, thank you very much. Not everyone can have as refined taste as me.” Lup stuck her tongue out at him.

“Debatable. Why the fuck an umbrella though?”

This made Lup ponder for a bit. A bit longer than he thought she would take. He assumed she would’ve just made something up just to miff him, but she seemed to be taking her time as to why she chose such a common object. His sister was eccentric and tended to think a little outside of the box with a lot of things. But...an umbrella? It seemed a little too common for her.

“It just felt right, I guess.” 

“Lu...my own flesh and blood. I’m gonna tell you how it is. Nothing about this feels right. You’re gonna look like a flying clown nanny and end up scarring the kids you’re taking care of.” He told her, face deadpanned. Lup blinked at him for a second before busting out laughing. He didn’t think it was very funny, but he assumed that with how tired she was it made sense. She was laughing so hard, clutching her stomach with tears coming out of her eyes and Taako really couldn’t help but join in. His sister’s laugh was infectious and it had been way too long since they both laughed together. He missed it. 

Finally, Lup came down from wherever she was and wiped away her tears. She took a deep breath before sobering up and looking at him directly. She took his hands and smiled at him.

“Hey, Taaks?”

“Yeah, Lupa?” She gave him a look that very obviously read  _ ‘still not my full name, dingus.’ _ before clearing her throat. She took a shuddering breath and looked at him square in the eye.

“I just...I just want to say this. I know that we don’t say this very often, but Taako. I–” Lup took another deep breath. “I just...I want to say thank you. You’ve been through this with me the most, and I know that you get annoyed with me, especially this past year, and I just want to thank you for that. Taako, you’re the most important person to me. You know that, right? You’re my own heart and without you...I wouldn’t be here.” Tears misted her eyes a bit and Taako had to bite his cheek to stop the tears from pooling. “So...yeah. Thank you.”

Taako grabbed her and pulled her in close. Gods he loved her so much. He didn’t know where he’d be without her. Really, he should be the one thanking her. He’s missed just talking with her so much. He’s missed this so much. He felt like he had his sister back. It’s been so long that he felt secure in his relationship with her since he felt like he was just a venting wall for so long. Gods, he’s missed this. Nothing could take this moment away from him. Nothing at all. 

oXo

She needed to get away. It was far quicker than her earlier intentions, but with the pressure of her final project for her Magical Item Class, Lup could feel the pressure. She was only going to be gone for the remainder of the semester, no longer. She just needed a space that was far away from any distractions and that she could work on her final project in peace. The Fire Gauntlet had been a set back, she knew that. She knew that nothing that she could do at the moment would make it better to present it as her final project. Hopefully, what she was planning for the Umbrastaff would be different. Hopefully it was even possible. 

After her last failure with the gauntlet, she started looking into protection wards. All the destruction the gauntlet created really had her gears turning that maybe a focus could end up protecting its castor from an oncoming attack. She had ran this by Lucretia, only to find out she shared the same sentiment in a magical item. They first thought of a staff for it, but a staff was more so up Lucretia’s alley than Lup’s. Plus, the professor would know that it really wasn’t her idea in a magical item. Then, she saw her unused umbrella in the corner of her room and thought it was perfect to use. It didn’t rain all too often, and if it did, it would still function like a normal umbrella, just with extra abilities. 

Still, she didn’t know how the umbrella could possibly protect the castor. It had to be something more than just a shield. People can get through shields with enough force. Then what?

Maybe it can protect the castor by taking them into a pocket dimension inside the umbrella?

Okay, yes.

Getting out of the pocket dimension would be simple too. The umbrella can sense when the castor is no longer in danger and just spit them out. Perfect. Gods she was so brilliant. Of course there were a lot of steps that could go wrong in this. She would have to figure out how the castor wouldn’t perish in the pocket dimension in case they’re in danger for longer. Maybe set aside some provisions in there? How much could a pocket dimension keep inside? Well, she could test that with a mini-fridge and what not as she got further along. She had to start on it quickly. The end of the semester was looming, and she still had to study for her other exams. 

Lucretia somehow made it that she was able to turn things in online for her other classes, which was a blessing. She could do all of her exams online and then really work on her final project. She was already finished with her music class this semester, having did the final performance just in the past week. She was going to be fine. 

So, she worked on the Umbrastaff, only stopping when she had to finish her two exams. Then, she went right back to work. She figured out that she could put a minifridge in the pocket dimension and plenty of other snacks in case of disaster. Now to just incorporate it with the Umbrastaff, that was the issue.

She was trying to figure that out when her stone pinged. It was a text from Taako. She hadn’t really told him where she was going. She couldn’t be distracted from this, so she couldn’t say that she was staying in a weird inn thing called Wave Echo. She just couldn’t. She needed to be focused. She couldn’t have any distractions. She put her stone on do not disturb and went back to work. She left a note. He had to know she was going to be fine. And she was. She had only been in this weird ass place for two weeks, and with her grind, she’ll be done just in time for when the project was due. She would give her presentation on it and then pack up everything here and go to her apartment and proceed to go home for Candlenights. 

That’s where she’ll tell Taako why she left and that yes, Lucretia knew where she was up to, she just needed someone to know who wouldn’t get her off her grind. She’ll tell him that everything was fine and she ended up finishing her project. Easy peasy. 

So, on the day of her presentation, Lup walked into her class holding her creation that she crammed so much into given the time she was allotted to think of a whole new focus. She presented it to the class, told about all of its cool tricks, and even got to demonstrate the pocket dimension, coming back in the class with a bag of chips from her provisions. The class was astounded, and she knew that she saw some uncomfortable squirms when she super nailed her project. Well, that’s on them. They had this whole semester to think of something cool and they didn’t. It’s not her fault that she was amazing. 

She walked back to her lodgings feeling much lighter than weeks ago. She had time to clear her head and not think about anything but her work. Now, she was super excited about seeing her brother and Barry and didn’t even feel the sting that she typically did whenever she thought about him. Her life was turning around steadily. 

So, when she walked into her room seeing all of her clothes and belongings strewn around the room, she was confused. She was also super on guard, but she assumed it was nothing. Maybe she didn’t remember doing all of this because she had barely slept or tranced. 

Then, she saw someone looking through her drawers, throwing all of her things from it. 

“What in fucks name are you doing in here?” She asked, she braced her Umbrastaff, holding it close to her chest. The mysterious person turned around. Their face was covered to make sure she’ll never know who was stealing from her.

“Where is it?” Asked their gravelly voice. Lup was taken aback just a bit. Her brain was a little muddled, gods she needed to sleep.

“Where’s what?”

“The gauntlet you were making. I need it. Please, my presentation tomorrow and I have nothing.” The person pleaded. Nope, she worked hard on that thing, as if she’ll let this person take all of her hard work and commit academic fraud. That wasn’t what she was here for. 

“Well, have fun failing because that’s on you, my dude. Now get out.” She threatened, pointing her staff at him. She wasn’t about to let this lunatic take her defective magical item. The person didn’t relent, though. Instead, they kept looking even with her warnings. She shot a fireball to the left of them, hoping to deter their plans. They looked scared for just a moment, even going as far to look at her. Still, that didn’t stop them and they kept on their search. 

She really didn’t want to get physical with the person. They just seemed desperate, but they had all semester to work on their magical item. It wasn’t on her to give them something they didn’t work for. Besides, the gauntlet was defective and the professor knew it was hers. He would see that it was stolen and expel the student, or end up blaming Lup for even allowing such a thing to happen. She wasn’t about to do that. 

Lup stormed over to the person, grabbing them by the collar of their shirt. They were short, possibly a dwarf. She shoved them back and pointed her umbrastaff at them once again. 

“I said get out.”

“But you made two magical items! You could at least share!” The person protested. Gods have mercy on her. 

“I worked on two magical items. I put in the effort, not you. You don’t get to take credit for something you never even worked on!” She kept firm at pointing her umbrastaff at him. “Now get out or else you’re gonna get fireballed.”

Finally the person relented. They scrambled to get out and Lup felt that she could relax again. That was close. She turned her back, shoving her umbrastaff under her arm and began to clean up the mess. That was when she heard rummaging near the front room. Right where her school bag would be...right where she left her–oh fuck.

She turned around and saw the dwarf holding the gauntlet. She couldn’t see their expression behind their mask but she could practically smell their greed. The gauntlet was unchanging from the claw like shape and she could feel her heart in her throat. 

“Put that down slowly.” She tried to sound calm, but her heart was racing. She could feel her breathing start to quicken as she saw the dwarf begin to slide the gauntlet down their hand. “Don’t do that!”

It was too late. They put it on, and the mask that was concealing their identity turned to ash. Lup stumbled back as she recognized one of her classmates. He was older, having started college later in life as a way to strike inspiration in his sons. He talked gruffly about them, but she could tell that he had some love for them or else he wouldn’t be here. He seemed to have good intentions, so why didn’t the gauntlet change for him? Was it even more defective than she had initially thought. He raised his hand up and Lup raised her umbrastaff. She had to get that thing off of him, but every other time she had to sedate someone in order to get it off. She was all out of sedatives. She wracked her brain, she couldn’t cast calm emotions either, everyone always deflected it whenever she tried.

“Look, Cyrus, you don’t want to use that. Think about your sons and how they would feel when they learned their father abused his power. You don’t want that, right? Take the glove off and put it gently on the floor.” She instructed. This got his attention. His eyes softened just a bit and the shape of the gauntlet trembled just a bit. A hint of the jewels could be seen for a split second before it morphed back in the claw like shape again. He raised the gauntlet up and Lup had no choice but to cast magic missile at him to hope that he would come back to his senses. 

He hit the door, almost breaking it, but he didn’t falter. He raised the glove again and that’s when all hell broke loose. Fire erupted from the gauntlet, enveloping the room in thick smoke and red orange flame. Lup’s eyes stung and she coughed, gripping her umbrastaff tightly. 

“Cyrus, please!” She choked out, the smoke hurting her lungs. The room started to fall apart, everything catching on fire. All of her belongings catching and burning. This wasn’t how her end of semester was supposed to be. She was supposed to be going back to her apartment right now, explaining to Taako where she’s been and why she left. She was supposed to be showing him the finished product of the umbrastaff and showing the pocket dimension to him. 

Things started to fall down. Distantly, she should hear the fire alarm. Cyrus looked at her, clarity finally in his eyes. He tried to take the gauntlet off, but it wouldn’t budge. He was panicked as he was turned into the final stage. The corrupted never last long with it on. They turned to a statue of molten lava. She made sure of that. But now, she regretted adding that feature. Oh gods, she was killing someone. 

The room fell apart and just got more clouded in smoke. Lup couldn’t see anymore. She could barely breathe. She collapsed to the ground, tears in her eyes. She was killing someone and it was all her fault. It was all her fault. This was how she was going to die. She wasn’t going to see Taako ever again. She wouldn’t see any of them again and they will never know what happened to her. They probably won’t even find a body. 

She let out a broken sob. Who would’ve thought that she was the first to die? Certainly not her. She thought of Mama Bluejeans again and how she didn’t respond to her last text message about spending Candlenights at her home this year. Why didn’t she respond? Gods, Mama was going to think she hated her.

Lup closed her eyes, clutching her umbrastaff tightly in her arms. Darkness embraced her. 

xOx

Taako was on edge. Lup hadn’t so much texted him back in two weeks and only left a simple note saying  _ ‘Back Soon!”  _ in typical Lup style, she had kissed it. At first, Taako had thought nothing of it. She said she’d be back soon, and he assumed that his sister knew how that worked. He chatted with Lucretia and she told him that she was just getting some time away to focus on her project. That was fair. He was only a little miffed that she confided in Lucretia over him, but hey, it’s fine. 

A week past and Taako was always anxiously looking at the door every time it opened. It was always Barold who looked like he was about to keel over dead. He gave a half-hearted wave before going into his room to sleep off whatever happened. Gods, if Lup could see him now she would be doting on him like crazy. Or, more so that would’ve happened months ago when Barry wasn’t dating someone else. Taako was still agitated over that. 

On the eleventh day of Lup upping and leaving, Barry finally said something.

“Is Lup back yet?” He sounded unsure if Taako would answer him, and to be fair he had every right to be. In the process of being irritated with Barry, Taako had successfully iced him out in any conversation, especially with Lup. Taako was spiteful and petty, Barry should know that about him already. 

“Nope.” He flipped a page in the magazine he was pretending to read. He was feigning indifference and he had a feeling that Barry knew that he was. His leg was bouncing that was only noticeable to someone who actually knew him well. He flipped another page. A bit too quickly, but if Barry asked then he’d just say the page bored him.

“Oh.” It was simple and it vexed Taako that he didn’t say something more. “Do you know when she’ll be back?”

He bit his tongue in an attempt to hold back a retort. Obviously he didn’t know when she’d be back. She didn’t discuss it with him. Something happened to her that made her feel like she couldn’t say anything to him. 

“Nope.” Was all he said. It was the only thing he could reply with that wasn’t filled with malice. 

“Oh.” Taako bit back another retort. “I’ll be in my room then.” Barry retreated and Taako sighed. He glanced up at the clock. It was just past 12. Nearly 12 days since he had last seen his sister.

Eleven days, 17 hours, 33 minutes and 55 seconds.

Where was she?

oXo

Barry was besides himself. He didn’t know where Lup was, Taako was barely talking to him. He went to Lucretia to ask where she could’ve gone and she didn’t give a clear answer. Things were beginning to get tense with Polly, and he’s pretty sure he failed his organic chem exam. Things literally couldn’t get any worse. 

He’s barely gotten any sleep since he found Lup’s note on the kitchen counter. He knew things have been tense in the apartment, knew that everyone was starting to feel it. He didn’t know things were so tense that they drove Lup to go who knows where. What if she was hurt? Or worse, killed? He took a deep breath. Lup was smart. She could do anything she puts her mind to. She was probably just fine and just staying with a friend. It didn’t really help that he hadn’t seen her at all in any of the classes they shared together. 

He knew very little what Lup was working on this semester. Knew that she took orgo with him, knew she picked music up again, knew that she was in a magical item class since Lup was a genius with magical items. He also knew that she took advanced evocation. He asked all of her classmates to see where she could’ve gone, but her evocation classmates didn’t know, her music class had ended after the performance that she  _ was _ a part of, and her magical item class was on their own to finish their projects. Barry was literally left in the dark.

Polly sensed that he was in a different mindset and not all there. She tried to help him out, but she really couldn’t. There was nothing that she did that put him mind at ease. Gods he was wound up.

Apparently she didn’t tell Taako much either which was odd. He didn’t even realize that the twins relationship was suffering a bit since the tension began with him and Lup. He really didn’t notice that anything was amidst. This was all his fault, he knew that. 

He wondered if she finished her magical item or not. She was supposed to tell him whether or not the class was worth taking, but now...he couldn’t even think about that. Where was she? Why did she just disappear?

At around 3:30 pm on the 14th day she’s been missing (14 days, 8 hours, 52 minutes, and 23 seconds.) something happened. He didn’t know what it was, he was too busy looking down at his phone over the text message he received from his Ma. She was asking if they wanted to spend Candlenights over at her house this year since they had it at Merle and Dav’s the previous year. He didn’t know how to respond that wasn’t that Lup was missing for 2 weeks now and they had no idea where she went. He could hear sirens, but wasn’t that normal?

That was until he got a call. It was from Magnus. He picked it up. He didn’t even get to say a semi proper greeting before Magnus started talking.

“Dude, Wave Echo Inn caught on fire.” That called Barry out of his stupor. His brain processed the words. The shady inn that was far too close to campus caught on...fire?

“What?”

“It caught on fire. Me and Jules are like right by it. There’s firemen and everything.” He explained. 

“Is everyone okay?”

“I hope so. I’m heading down right now to see if they need anything.” Now that Barry thought about it, Magnus did sound a little breathless. Probably started his way over there as soon as he saw the smoke. 

“Okay, keep me updated on it.”

“Will do! Do you think–”

A beep blasted right in Barry’s ears, forcing him to take the stone away from his ear. He looked down at caller id and saw that Lucretia was calling. 

“Hey, Mags, I’m gonna call you right back. Creesh is calling.”

“Yeah! See ya!”

Barry said a quick goodbye and ended the call. He picked up Lucretia’s. Again, he didn’t even get to say a proper greeting before Lucretia started to talk.

“Barry, you and Taako need to go to Wave Echo Inn now.” She sounded manic and breathless, so opposed from her usual calm demeanor. 

“What? It’s on fire?” He was confused, why did he need to go towards the fire?

“It’s–it’s Lup. She’s been staying there these past 2 weeks–” 

Barry felt his whole world slow down. He couldn’t hear. He was only picking up on static. Lup. Lup had been staying at the inn. The very inn that was currently on fire. Lup was in there. Lup was...oh gods. He didn’t even remember getting Taako. He was suddenly there next to him and they were both running to the inn. Everything was blurring together. Nothing was making sense. Lup was in the inn. Lup was in the blazing inn. She had to be fine though, right? She was an evocation wizard. Fire was her specialty. She was fine, right? She had to be. As far as he knew she was pretty resistant to fire. 

_ But she’s not resistant to the smoke. That’s what kills.  _

He shook that thought from his mind. No. Lup was fine. She was resilient. She was going to be fine. 

But, when he and Taako got there, his hope was fleeting. The whole top of the inn was ablaze. Firemen were trying to get the fire under control, as they rescued the people inside. Barry scanned the people’s faces. None of them were Lup’s face. He could feel his heart in his throat as more people came out that wasn’t Lup. Taako had abandoned him entirely as he found a fireman, demanding to know where his sister was. 

Barry just watched as the hotel continued to be engulfed by flame, hoping that Lup somehow made it out and was running to their apartment. What if she was there now and there was no one to comfort her? 

The fire felt like it took hours to get out. But, when it was finally out, floor 3 to 7 was completely black and smoldering. If anyone was still trapped in those floors, they’d be–

No, don’t think like that. Lup was alive. She had to be. 

Another fireman came out with another person struggling to breathe and again it was not Lup. Barry could feel his anxiety going off. Where was she? 

“The fire seemed to have started in a room on floor 3.” His ears twitched and he turned around to see who was speaking. Barry saw the fireman holding two objects in some large bags. “This was all that was recovered. This one was on a molten lava dwarf. And this one? This one was on the floor. I’m surprised it didn’t catch on fire.”

Barry made his way over but was beaten by Taako who was looking worse for wear. 

“Can I see those?” His voice was hoarse and broken and Barry just wanted to wrap him up in a hug. 

“I’m sorry, but they’re being used for evidence.” Replied the fireman, keeping the bags out of reach. Taako let out a broken sob that caught him off guard. In all of his years of knowing Taako, he has never known him to show his true emotions so candidly.

“Please. I need to see them.” Barry knew that Taako didn’t even need to cast charm person to see the items. He was so broken. He didn’t see his sister walk out of that inn. He didn’t know where she was. The fireman sighed and grabbed a pair of gloves from an examiner and passed them to Taako to put on. He obliged and put them on slowly. The fireman gave him the bags.

Taako took a look at the smaller bag, opening up and revealing the gauntlet that Lup had been working on. He heard Taako whimper at the sight of it, careful not to touch it. He turned his attention to the bigger bag, opening it slowly to reveal an umbrella. Upon seeing it, he hurried his action, taking it out of the bag and looking at it with wide eyes. 

“She finished it.” Came a small voice from behind, Barry and Taako both turned to see Lucretia, disheveled and out of breath. Taako was immediately on his feet, pointing the umbrella at her. 

“You knew where she was the entire time and you didn’t say shit!” He screamed. His voice was breaking. 

“Taako, I’m sorry, but she told me not to tell. Please belie–”

“Bullshit! You knew where she was and you didn’t say anything and now she’s fucking gone!” Taako was screaming so violently and tears were pouring down his face. He stared at Lucretia long and hard, and Barry was suddenly reminded of the twins father’s piercing eyes. Taako looked like his father. A chill went down his back. “You took everything from me!”

Lucretia looked stunned, eyes pooling with tears, but she didn’t try to talk him down again. She looked remorseful and exhausted. She looked like she aged 50 years. 

Taako let out an animal scream and sank to the ground, clutching his sister’s umbrella. There didn’t have to be a body to have them know that Lup was gone. It started in Lup’s room. Her body was possibly only ash now. Lup was–Lup was.

Barry felt his heart breaking. It was all sinking in now. Lup was in that room. Lup was in that room that caught on fire. Lup couldn’t have gotten out. They had to pry open the door in order to get in. At least, that’s what he had heard. Lup was...Lup was  _ dead. _ Barry let out a sob. A sob that he didn’t think he could make. He could feel his heart hurting. Lup. The love of his life. It was always her. It would always be her. And now Lup would never know how much he loved her. 

Barry let out a scream of a dying heart.

oXo

Nothingness was a strange thing. She felt nothing. She saw nothing. She experienced nothing. Was she even  _ some _ thing?  _ Someone? _ Who was she? Where did she belong? What was she before all of this nothing? 

At least she thought. That was  _ some _ thing. She couldn’t hear anything. Was she supposed to hear? Was that something she was supposed to do? 

She didn’t know anything. 

She slipped away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said this was going to be a fluffy fic? 
> 
> Yeah I lied.
> 
> Thank my playlist for doing this to me.
> 
> Thank you all for reading, commenting, and bookmarking! Y'all are wonderful, and I definitely don't deserve you guys especially for this chapter!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath

The months after Lup’s death went by in a blur for Taako. Her funeral–which didn’t have a body –made Taako press his fingernails into the palm of his hands until they nearly bled to suppress his screaming–happened when the university let him, Magnus, Lucretia, and Barry on temporary leave due to the “ _ distressing circumstances.”  _ Yeah. Distressing. His twin sister was dead and he didn’t even have her body to bury. That was definitely  _ distressing _ . 

Everything after that became a blur. He would stay in their old room all day and just lay in her old bed. He was hoping to get at least some of her scent from the old bed, something to say that Lup was there and that she existed at some point in this time and that she was the most remarkable person he ever had the privilege of sharing the womb with. He had spent nearly 20 years with her by his side and now? Now she was gone. Without a trace. She didn’t have a body that wasn’t ash and most of her valued belongings were burned in the fire. He only had some of her clothes which he kept locked up to ensure they kept her scent. He only took them out any time he was having trouble sleeping which was every night. 

Everything and everyone moved sluggishly. He remembered how at her funeral Mama Bluejeans was sobbing, clutching at an old photo of Lup when she was probably around 15. Merle had went around cleansing Lup’s old stuff around the house, especially their room. Davenport had started to turn down every picture that Lup was featured in and Taako really had to keep from screaming. They wouldn’t even bring her name up half the time. It was always  _ “Taako, do you remember when you did this?”  _ No, he didn’t because that was Lup that did it. Or  _ “Taako, remember when you nearly set the kitchen on fire because you wanted to experiment with something?”  _ That was Lup’s idea and he was just there to help her out and laugh at the ultimate failure and they knew it. They were purposely erasing her from their lives. Why were they willingly trying to forget her? Taako had to keep from screaming and yelling and crying until he was red in the face. 

Lucretia avoided him like the plague. That was good. He didn’t want to see her. He probably never wanted to see her ever again. At least when he did hear her talking she actually spoke about Lup. She always avoided her using her name. Just using her pronouns instead of the name Lup and him had spent a game of rock, paper, scissors deciding on. Good. If Lucretia said her name, he was pretty sure he would scream at her saying she didn’t deserve to say her name. 

Magnus has been walking on eggshells with him ever since it all happened. During the reception part of the funeral, Taako had crumpled and nearly lost everything and Magnus...dear care bear Magnus had actually picked him up and cuddled him. He whispered that it was okay to cry low enough that only he heard. Taako didn’t let himself slip. Sure, the hug was nice to have, but he didn’t need someone telling him it was okay to cry. He knew it was okay to cry. He wanted to cry. But he couldn’t. For some reason he couldn’t cry for his sister. Someone who he shared the womb with. Someone who he was attached at the hip with. Someone who had been there for him every step of the way. His own heart and he couldn’t cry.  _ He couldn’t cry _ . He wanted to. How he desperately wanted to cry. This was the person he was supposed to have for at least seven centuries. Lup was supposed to be the only constant in his life while everyone else was just supposed to turn to dust. Now she was just dust and ash while everyone else was still here. And Taako, well, Taako will probably still be here when everyone else joined Lup in the astral plane. He’ll be alone for so long. 

He wanted to cry so badly but no tears came out. Not even when he screamed into his pillow at night, cursing at the Raven Queen for being so unbelievably unfair. How dare she take away his own heart. He felt hollow and bitter, but he couldn’t cry. 

Instead, Taako spent the days and nights in their old room, laying on his sister’s bed as he stared up at the ceiling. They had put stars on the ceiling when they were kids. He and Lup mapped out all of their favorite constellations and put them up on the ceiling so with nights even without stars, they’ll still be comforted by their constellations. A constellation that they had quickly both mapped out was The Twins constellation. They loved it for obvious reasons, and Taako could make out the constellation with quick ease. It didn’t make him feel comforted now. Instead, it reminded him of who he had lost. He wanted to change the constellation so badly. He didn’t want it on his ceiling on his ceiling anymore. He wanted it destroyed and gone.

He stopped for a second. If he destroyed this constellation though–a constellation that had brought both he and Lup so much joy at some point, and had used up a lot of their young energy in creating–then wouldn’t he be erasing Lup? He’d be erasing her just like Davenport and Merle were. He couldn’t forget Lup. She was a part of him and he couldn’t forget her. How could he forget Lup? She was his everything and he was her everything and now...now he was the only one left. 

He curled over to his side, ignoring the still sparkling lights of their constellations. Instead, he looked out the window. Lup had insisted she’d get the window spot from their room. He had fought with her at first because  _ he _ wanted the window. Eventually, she suggested a plan that they’d both get the window, they’d just switch off every other week so they each got a turn. Eventually, Taako got tired of the constant switching so he just gave up and let Lup have it two years into doing it. He knew it was her long con, but it didn’t really matter in the end since they ended sharing a bed most nights anyway. So she was foiled by that.

He was looking out the window when he saw a shape just in his front lawn. It was obviously a person and they were just sitting there looking up at the sky. Taako knew from the larger blob of a shape that it was Barry sitting there. He hadn’t seen him since the funeral. Taako had refused to go to the Candlenights celebration that year. Merle and Davenport let him stay home but only if there was someone there with him. They were nervous they he was going to do something. Not sure why, it wasn’t like Taako tried anything like that before. Still, Magnus had offered to stay over with Julia and they had sat awkwardly in Taako and Lup’s old room. 

Taako didn’t really think much about how Barry must’ve felt with everything that happened. He had heard him screaming when they found out that Lup was indeed gone. He had seen him at her funeral with a quivering lip as he tried to hold back from breaking down as he held onto Mama. Other than that, Taako hadn’t really seen much from Barry. He had to admit, he did miss him. Also, everyone else was annoying him in this house. At least Barry wouldn’t pretend that Lup hadn’t existed. 

Gingerly, he got out of Lup’s bed. He was shaky he realized. He had been skipping out on meals and food in general. He just hadn’t had the appetite and every time he did eat he wanted to throw up immediately after. He probably looked terrible. His hair overly greasy and bags dragging his eyes down. He probably lost some weight too which couldn’t be a good look on him. Still, he opened their old window with only minor squeaking and climbed down the familiar path that he and Lup had forged over the years. He nearly fell a couple of times from weeks of not getting out of bed, but he eventually got himself down with little injury. 

He padded down the dew filled grass, the ground tickling his feet with unwelcomed coldness. He still pressed on towards his oldest friend. He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t want to talk, or more like needed to talk. 

It was cold out, Taako knew that. It was nearly January, and he was just surprised there wasn’t any snow coating the ground. He was probably going to get hypothermia. Well, if that was how he was going to go then Lup was going to make fun of him to no end about his demise. He could probably get a jab in there about how she literally got smoked. Of course the way they both went out was slightly in part of extreme temperatures. 

It wasn’t that extreme though. It was cold to him but not so cold to the average human. Which was probably why Barry J Bluejeans was out in this weather in nothing but a light jacket, white long sleeved shirt and a pair of sleep pants. 

Taako came up right next to him, taking the spot on his right side. Just as he always did if Lup were still around. She would take the left and together they’d poke his face until he told them to stop. Even then they’d keep going sometimes. So, in an effort to make it seem normal, he poked Barry’s cheek. He didn’t react at first, obviously lost in thought as he gazed at the sky, but then after a bit, Barry jumped nearly a foot in the air and looked at Taako with wide glazed eyes. He sniffled and rubbed his nose a bit before he fully realized who was next to him. 

“Taako! What are you doing out here?” Barry appraised him for a quick second, eyebrows going up to his remaining hairline. “Don’t you know how cold it is?”

Taako waved him off.

“I’m fine, promise.” He tried to say it casually, but his voice came out raspy and harsh. He hadn’t exactly been talking a lot since Lup...did that thing. He’s been mostly screaming into his pillow, so that checked out. 

Barry raised an eyebrow on him and started shuffling around. He was taking off his sweater. Gods above help him. He shoved it at Taako and he knew that he couldn’t say no to him. He was like a giant teddy bear who wouldn’t hesitate to tell him how dumb he was being for not taking his sweater when he was wearing what was his sister’s old summer sleep clothes. He didn’t want to crack out her winter ones just yet. Those were on an especially bad day since they smelled the most like her. 

He shrugged on Barry’s sweater on haphazardly, but once it was on, he was begrudgingly grateful for it. It was warm and it smelled faintly of Lup–

Oh.  _ Oh. OH. _

This was the sweater that he reserved specifically for Lup in case she got cold somewhere. Barry didn’t think that  _ he _ knew that. He had it reserved for Lup because she had offhandedly said how she loved this sweater of his. Maybe it was because it was sweater that Barry wore on a regular basis during their time in high school, and when he grew out of it, it became his go to sweater for her. Now he was wearing it again.

“I see,” Taako murmured. He knew Barry heard him because he just sighed, putting his head on his knees. He looked even paler than before in the dim light of night. More worry wrinkles were sketched out on his face and it seemed as though he hadn’t shaved since her funeral. He was tired. It was evident on his face. Something told Taako that he also couldn’t sleep at night. 

“Ma has been crying non-stop since she found out.” He said quietly. He toyed with the grass a bit and Taako watched as he ripped it up. He was holding things back and trying to cover it up with how Mama was feeling. Taako knew him better though. He also knew better to not press him on it. He wouldn’t like it if someone told  _ him  _ to open up about this. How could he? He could talk about Lup no problem, but when it came to her death? No. That was a whole other can of worms he didn’t want to talk about. It was the same way when Auntie died. Merle had tried to send him into therapy, but he wouldn’t budge. He could just talk it out with Lup when he was ready. He didn’t need a therapist who didn’t know anything about what he was going through and only mocked sympathy. 

He was being unfair to therapists though since they actually helped Lup when Auntie died. That was how they were. Lup could open up to anyone with enough prying. Taako was a closed book. The only way to pry into his feelings was by knowing him for a stupidly long time.

It was unfair to unload all of it on Lup though. She was just a kid back then, too, but to him, she had all the answers. He was the older sibling, but next to her, he felt dumb. Emotionally dumb. He didn’t know how to let go without her. Now he was without her.

“It’s just not fair, you know?” Barry announced suddenly, clutching the grass in his hands. He was burning a hole in his sleep pants that looked like denim. A joke gift that Lup had gotten him a few Candlenights ago. “She still had her whole life ahead of her and she’s just ripped out?”

Taako knew that Barry needed this. He knew that Barry needed to get it all off his chest and he let him. He kept quiet and let Barry rant.

“By the gods, I was supposed to be the one to go before most of you! I know this. With human life expectancy and all that other shit, I was supposed to go first. She was supposed to have seven centuries. I was supposed to fade from her memory over time and–and she was supposed to find someone she deeply loved and cared about that she could actually spend her life with. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.” Barry pulled his knees closer to himself, tucking his head away. Barry’s declaration of Lup finding someone she cared for and loved deeply caught Taako off-guard. He had known his sister. He knew that one: Lup would never be able to forget Barry J Bluejeans no matter how many years went by. Two: Lup would never find someone that she cared for and loved more deeply than Barry. 

“Gods, you and Lup both are so dumb” Taako grumbled, pulling the sweater in closer, sniffing for traces of Lup’s scent. A strange mix of gardenias and wood smoke found his senses and he relaxed just a bit. 

“What do you mean by that?” It sounded more aggressive than he was used to from Barry. Though, Taako knew that he was going through some shit. He sighed. Lup was going to kick his ass when he finally joined her in the astral plane. 

“What I mean is that she had the same problem.” Taako explained, cringing just a bit on the past tense. She was already a past tense. She was no longer. “The whole life expectancy thing. Lup would lament over how she would just get about 100 years with you if she were lucky. Kept saying how you deserved someone to grow old with. That’s why she never did anything about her feelings for you.” 

Barry looked at Taako, eyes wide behind his glasses. He blinked once, twice, three times before he looked away to the house across the street. 

“So she really did have feelings for me.” He murmured, hands ceasing at pulling grass.

“Yeah, of course she did, dumbass. She was full on in love with you.” He clenched his teeth because how dare Barry not know that Lup had feelings for him. He didn’t know about her blatantly obvious feelings for him and he wanted to shoot some magic at something to get his frustration out. He was letting them take their time and this is what happens. He should’ve just told Lup right after the beach day they all had years back. If he had, she would probably still be with them. Maybe if things were different, they would be sitting in this exact spot laughing and pointing out constellations. Taako would probably gag as they started to get mushy with one another and shout to get a room. Lup would’ve stuck her tongue out and would probably take Barry’s face in her hands and full on kiss him. This would’ve taken Barry by surprised, but probably delve into a full on make out session to which Taako would yell at and retreat back inside, his sister’s laughter ringing in his ears.

Instead, his sister’s laugh was only a memory with some videos saved onto his stone. He had tried to listen to her laugh the other day, or was it last week? He couldn’t remember. Whenever it was, he couldn’t do it. He got a few notes in her laugh before he had to turn it off and curl up in a ball as his too dry eyes were thirsty for water. The tears never came and he ended up getting a headache which he tried to sleep off. 

“I thought I had read it all wrong.” Barry whispered. Taako wanted to slap him. How could you read it wrong? Instead, he goes off and gets himself a girlfriend that wasn’t his sister. “Lup introduced me to Polly. Practically forced her on me. I thought she didn’t love me like that.” 

Practically forced caught Taako’s attention. He whipped his head to Barry and furrowed his eyebrows together. 

“What do you mean by that? By  _ practically forced? _ ” He had a feeling what Lup’s reasoning was. It was probably her typical way of how she matyred herself and her happiness for the hopes that Barry would find someone that he deserved. Someone to grow old with. Gods how he hated that. She was sacrificing her own happiness and in return also Barry’s. So what if they couldn’t grow old? Now Lup would never grow old. The irony of it all.

“I mean, she introduced me to Polly. Had me hang out with her which ended with us dating.” Barry sighed and rubbed his face. “She’s been really great about this, too. Making sure I’m okay and all that. She comes over practically every day to bring over something to make sure we eat and I feel bad.” 

“You feel bad?”

“Yeah, I mean. I feel like I’m almost using her? She’s been great to me, but there’s just something a little  _ off _ about our relationship. There’s always has been and–”

“You don’t love her.”

Barry looked at him incredulously, mouth slightly agape. He had on his typical fish look that Lup would lovingly tease him about. Barry started to stutter out an explanation a response, Taako raised his hand up. 

“You don’t love her  _ romantically. _ You love her platonically. Gods, I can’t believe how long it took you to piece  _ that _ together. Are you really that dense, Barold?” Taako leaned back on his hands and turned to the sky. He could make out the big dipper, an easy one that he would always point out to Lup on their excursions. He continued looking until he came across a collection of seven stars. Technically, they were called the seven sisters, but he and Lup had been going through a bird phase and gave each one of them a bird. The two closest to one another they had always seen as the twin stars. He swallowed, feeling the growing lump bob around, refusing to be diminished.

The seven birds in Taurus. He bit his cheek. Lup had liked Taurus even though it was an earth sign. She said that she liked the bull and could applaud its stubbornness since she knew someone close to her who was just as stubborn. He had stuck his tongue out and pushed her gently and called her right out on her bullshit too. She was just as stubborn as he is. 

“I guess I’ve always been dense. Especially when it came to her.” Barry’s voice caught on some emotion and Taako turned to see him cupping his face with his hands. His shoulders were moving with every breath he took and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Barry was crying. Taako moved over and wrapped his arms around him, putting his head right on top of Barry’s. Something he did with Lup all the time whenever she was crying and vice versa when he was. The familiarity of it all had his breath hitch and make him bite his lip to suppress whatever he was feeling. This was Barry’s turn to be crying. Taako had his time and he wasted it on too dry of eyes. Gods he was a monster. He couldn’t even cry for his sister.

“Gods, Taako, I’ve been so dumb, and now it’s too late. She’s gone and she’ll never know.” Barry sobbed, reciprocating the hug from Taako. Taako stroked his head, trying to reassure him that it was okay and that he was here. Lup would never know. Barry was right. She only had those kisses from that high school play with Barry that she reminisced about so often. How she always said she didn’t kiss him right and if she could do it over she wouldn’t stop. He shoved at her and said how gross she was. She shoved him back and told him he’d understand one day. She was right. He did understand and she never even met the guy who made him feel that way. All because he was feeling so happy as being seen as just Taako.

Now he’ll be just Taako forever. If he were to meet new people once everyone else was dead, they’d never know that he once had a twin sister named Lup. They’ll never know her radiance and how caring she was to everyone. They’ll just know Taako. Bitter Taako, who if he could have one wish in the world it was to bring his sister back. He was just Taako now and it terrified him. No more  _ ‘tell the twins this’  _ or  _ ‘Taako and Lup that.’  _ He was just Taako and he didn’t know how to handle that. He could handle it just fine when he had the choice, but now that choice was gone and he didn’t want that. He wanted the choice again. He wanted Lup back. 

He couldn’t help it. He couldn’t stop himself. He knew that this was supposed to be about Barry right now and how dumb he’s been, but he’s also been dumb. He’s also been trying to suppress screaming at everyone for way too long. 

“They’re trying to forget about her.” He sounded so weak and miserable. He thought back to when he last saw Lup. That was the last time he ever talked to his sister. If he had known...he would’ve made it even more special. He would’ve talked her out of going. Promised that he could help her finish it and that she didn’t have to go and  _ please gods, don’t go. _

“Who?” Barry sniffled just a bit, still clutching onto Taako for dear life. 

“Davenport and Merle. Hell, I even think Magnus is trying to forget her sometimes. Davenport’s been going around putting any picture of her faced down. Merle cleansed our fucking room and is already talking about sorting her stuff to give away. They’re even talking about getting rid of her first pointe shoes and I refuse to let them.” Taako ranted, the lump in his throat growing tighter, making it harder for him to talk. “I get that others have different ways of coping, trust me, I know. That’s what our therapist said after Auntie died, but I can’t help but think they’re going around this all wrong.

“Why would you want to forget Lup? She’s...she’s unforgettable! They’re treating her as if she didn’t spend fucking years with them! Like she was temporary or some shit and Lup’s not temporary! Lup is–was–was–”

Something happened to him and he didn’t know. Suddenly, he pulled himself away from Barry and started to fling magic out at the tree he and Lup used to play on as kids. He flung his magic at it, not caring what he was hitting or wasn’t. He was hurting and he didn’t know what else to do about it. He didn’t even realize he was screaming until everyone else from the house came running out, trying to pin him down. Merle casted calm emotions on him quickly and Taako challenged him on that shit. How dare he try to calm him down? He didn’t need to calm down. He needed to get whatever it was off his chest so he could potentially move on from this hurt. He won’t be able to move on from this hurt though. 

“All right, all right, Taako, look at me. What’s going on?” Merle put on his fatherly voice, Taako knew it all too well. He would use it on him if he was sent to the principal’s office or if he talked back to the teacher. Used it on him when he got a poor grade on his progress report. Used it on him if he was caught sneaking out with sketchy people. Lup and him normally had a snitches get stitches policy, but when she couldn’t talk him out of going, she normally went to Merle because she “worried about him.” She was right, as per usual. 

Still he didn’t want to tell Merle what was going on. He didn’t want to unleash everything he’s been penting up these last two months since she’s been dead. He could hold it in. No one needed to know what he was feeling. 

Except, Merle took his face in his hands and looked at him straight in the eyes with his one eye. Concern was etched into his features and Taako nearly crumpled right there. As annoying and weird as Merle is, he was still one of the only stable father figures he’s ever had. 

“Come on, buddy, you can talk to me.”

For some reason, that got him. Maybe it was from lack of sleep, maybe it was being emotionally strained, or maybe it was because of the tone Merle used. Something so comforting and forgiving that eventually broke him. 

The dam blocking his tears finally collapsed.

“You keep trying to forget her.” His voice was raw and it hurt when he talked. He could imagine Lup there, rubbing his shoulder as he let it all out. “All her pictures, the stuff that she left here...you’re trying to get rid of any trace that she was even here, and you can’t do that! Lup was here. She was and you need to stop trying to forget her.” He was so emotionally drained that he barely even fathomed what he was saying. It was sort of spilling all out. 

Merle looked down, his eyes wrought with pain. It was such a strange emotion to see on Merle since he was normally joking around or yelling about something. He’s never been so openly pained with any of them before. Maybe with Dav, but that was different. They were partners. 

“Come on, Taako. Let’s get you to bed. We can talk in there, okay?” Merle led him to the front door. Taako didn’t see Davenport or Magnus. They were probably trying to smooth out the situation with the neighbors as to why they were woken up at 2 am by screaming. “Barry, you’re staying the night. Come on. I’ll call your mother in the morning.”

Taako heard Barry shuffle behind him, sniffling as he did so as he cried. Merle squeezed his hand just a bit. 

“I want you to know that we’re not trying to forget her. We’re just...we’re adjusting.” Merle told him quietly, leading him in the house. They passed by a table of pictures. Most of them were turned down. Taako clenched his teeth. 

“Then why are all her pictures turned down?” There wasn’t any malice behind his words. He was tired. He was sure Merle could sense it too because he just shook his head. 

“Dav only did that because he was having a hard time. Any time he saw them he’d just break down. We’re all trying, Taako.” Merle assured. Taako guessed he wasn’t here when Merle and Davenport found out about everything. It also took them a while to get back to their old home in the first place. They were questioned relentlessly, being asked why such a student would start a fire in the first place. Taako had seethed, telling them over and over again that Lup would never set fire to a whole inn that would endanger everyone inside. She wasn’t like that. She was kind and cared about other people. She had been the better twin while he had inherited their parents fucked up personalities and tendencies. Lup would always affirm him that he was nothing like their parents. Taako couldn’t help but think she was just saying that to make him feel better. 

They creaked their way upstairs, Taako spotting Lucretia leaning over the railing just slightly. Her eyes went wide in spotting him and she immediately ran back to her room, he heard her door close gently.

“You’re gonna have to make up with her.” Merle advised. Taako nearly tripped on the stairs at the notion of making up with her. 

“Why? You know she’s responsible, right? Lup’s dead because of  _ her _ negligence.” There was a bite in his tone that only made Merle sigh with exhaustion. 

“She’s not responsible, Taako, and you know it. Lup’s death was an accident. It was nobody’s fault.”

“Except for Lucretia not telling anyone where she was going and that guy that was somehow in Lup’s room wearing her magical item.” Taako knew his sister. She wouldn’t just give her dysfunctional magical item to anyone unless she knew they were okay. That guy obviously was not okay. 

“Lucretia was only doing what Lup told her to.”

“So now you’re taking  _ her _ side?”

“I’m not taking anyone’s side. I’m saying that Lup dying was an accident that no one could foresee.” Merle shook his head. They got up to the top of the stairs and he steered him toward their old room. “Know that we’re all hurting. Probably not as much as you, but we’re all feeling her absence. Talk to Creesha.” 

Taako opened his mouth to speak and Merle held up a hand as he opened the door. 

“I’m not saying now, I’m saying eventually. She’s your family, Taako, and you can’t be mad at family forever.” Merle gently nudged him inside the room, followed closely by nudging Barry in as well. 

“She’s not  _ my _ family, Merle, not anymore.” He spat the words at Merle. He crossed his arms defiantly. He would never forgive her. Not when she took the one thing that mattered to him for all eternity away. Merle just shook his head as he turned away. “I thought you said we were gonna talk about this?”

“We’ll talk once you sleep. Trust me, Taako. Ya need it.” Merle left with a mutter about something that Taako was too tired to make out and went back down the hallway to the stairs. Taako took a deep breath before closing the door. He turned to Barry who was now looking at the remaining knick knacks that Lup had left here. His gaze went to a framed photo on her nightstand of all five of them playing a game. Taako knew that picture. He stared at it often since she framed it. They were playing a card game, which one was lost to him by now, but he knew that her mouth was wide open mid laugh with her arm around Barry, holding him close. Taako was sitting in Magnus’s lap, a sly smile on his face as Magnus had the biggest grin known to man on his. Barry was red in the face, looking at Lup with longing that even the camera could pick up on. Meanwhile, Lucretia was smiling politely, her hands were barely noticeable, meaning it didn’t pick up on the fact that she was definitely looking at Magnus’s abandoned cards. 

That had been a good day for them all. Too bad it was no longer. 

“Okay, bedtime, Barold. Some rules: No sleeping on Lup’s side.” Taako was trying to be more like himself. His eyes wanted to produce tears, but he tried to hold them back. Barry only nodded as he put the picture down and went to Taako’s side of the room. Taako went to his bed and plopped down on it, the springs barely creaking. He slapped his bed for Barry to let him know they were sharing his bed tonight. Lup’s scent was beginning to disappear from her bed covers a bit too quickly. He’ll soon have to get her bedsheets that she had at the apartment. 

The two of them adjusted on the small bed to make sure they both fit. It was going to be an uncomfortable nights rest, but it beats being alone. Taako adjusted one last time, an arm over Barry to keep him from falling off. Barry also put an arm over him and they clung to each other. Barry’s whole body was shaking as he cried himself to sleep. Taako made sure he was fully asleep before he too started to cry, but by then someone had repaired the dam and nothing came out. He had a fitful night's rest. 

oXo

Maybe she was cold? Was she cold? What was cold? She heard muffled voices earlier. Who were they? She’s never heard their voices before. None of them had a voice that she was trying to listen out for. None of them sounded like the voice she sought out. Gods, she was tired. 

She slipped away.

xOx

The marker for month five since Lup’s death hit Barry like a whirlwind. He couldn’t believe that it had been that long already since he had last seen her. When it crept up on him, he didn’t know what to do except to just stare at Lup’s old graduation photo that Ma had sitting on her picture table. Ma had taken up dusting it methodically any time it got a speck of dust on it. She cleaned it often, always lighting a candle after she was done cleaning it. It was always a scent they associated with Lup. Sweet gardenias or a warm hearth smell. The gardenia candle was going to have to be replaced soon while the warm hearth was more or less not used. Ma couldn’t stand the smell of burning firewood anymore. She’d always have to leave the room if even a smell remotely close to it wafted in. 

For some reason, the smell of firewood still comforted him. He felt like a monster since Lup had died due to a fire. How could he still be comforted by the smell of fire when it took someone so precious from him? Then again, fire had always been Lup’s specialty. She made fire beautiful and graceful and loving. It was strange. Fire destroyed her and yet...yet he still couldn’t see it as malicious. It was the smoke that kills, so how could he see something that Lup was able to control so well with distrust?

He stared at that picture for some time, gazing into her eyes, wishing that he could see her in person. He wouldn’t even know what to say to her if he could see her again. He’d probably spend the entire time mapping out her face, memorizing every detail that was erased in the overly airbrushed school picture. All he could do was stare into her eyes that didn’t stay so stagnant like they did in the picture. His face would probably look like a fish and she would probably tease him about it. He wouldn’t mind it though. He would take any teasing from her if it meant he could hear her voice again. 

He sighed as he ripped his attention from the picture and to his stone. Polly had texted him earlier, asking if he wanted her to come over. He didn’t know how to respond because he felt  _ terrible. _ He finally understood what felt so off the entire time within their relationship, what was eating him alive on their first date. He didn’t feel romantic love for her. He knew that now. Yet, he didn’t know what to  _ do.  _ Of course the obvious answer was to break up. He should break up with her, explain that he just didn’t feel romantic love with her and that he was sorry for leading her on in the first place. Tell her she was a sweet girl and deserved much better than whatever he could ever give her. He knew he should tell her this, but he couldn’t for some reason.

He was a coward. That’s for sure. He couldn’t even tell Polly how he truly felt and that he’ll never feel that way for her. He was just going to keep leading her on like an asshole. Fuck. 

A door creaked and Barry looked up, glad for the reprieve. Ma came shuffling out her room, robe on tightly and glasses on just askew. Her hair was brushed today which was progress. After the funeral, Ma had been either cleaning excessively or in bed. It worried Barry, but he also knew that she was trying. He had to try to help. They were all still feeling it. Ma had lost someone equivalent to a daughter to her after all. 

“Hey, baby.” Ma’s voice was hoarse from how rarely she used it nowadays. Gods, was this ever going to get easier?

“Hey. Polly brought over some green bean casserole the other day. I think it’s still good.” Polly had been making sure that the both of them still ate by bringing over dishes whenever she could. She also made sure she was a good shoulder to cry on for any reason. She really was doing her best given the circumstances, and Barry couldn’t thank her enough for it. He kept saying how she didn’t have to do these things for him, yet she always assured him that she was more than okay with making sure they got something in their stomachs or talked to someone on the outside. She truly was a gem.

“She’s a nice girl that Polly, but I’m not hungry right now.” Barry nodded solemnly at his Ma, concern etching into his face. She’s been skipping more than actually eating recently and it concerned him. Then again, he was the same way right now, pouring over documents trying to find anything about the astral plane. 

Barry nodded solemnly, mouth pursed in an attempt to stop him from talking. He was worried for his Ma. He really was, but he knew if he brought it up she would just wave him off. Instead, Barry bid her a quick  _ love you _ and went up to his room. He had to get back to studying those texts. 

A dark thought had crossed his mind a month after Lup’s death. Maybe he could get her back. He could take her from the astral plane because surely it had been a mistake for Lup’s life to be cut short. She was supposed to still be here. If the Raven Queen accuses him of death crimes, then he was sure his defense was strong. Of course there was an issue of getting her a new body because her old body was very much gone. Where was he going to get her a new one? He knew that she wouldn’t want to look different from how she did originally. He would also feel bad about getting a sample from Taako to try to make her a new body. She’d just have to go under those changes again.

He didn’t know what to do though, except gruel over the forbidden texts in his Ma’s library. Usually nothing was off limits for Barry as long as he promised not to practice anything. That was Ma’s one rule when he was delving into necromancy. He could learn about it, but he couldn’t practice it. Very difficult concept for a teenager to understand, especially when there was another teenager who was also super interested in it. 

Those had been the baby books though. Everything else, that was locked away by some form of magic that was made when Barry was an infant. Meaning, he was able to crack in immediately. Ma wasn’t in the state to check the security of the sacred texts, so he’s been able to get away with it so far without her knowing. He’s been learning about the astral plane. A way to potentially get in even when you’re still alive. A way to get a soul out. 

Barry had remembered an old story about a mortal who went into the astral plane to retrieve his wife. Istus had somehow swayed the Raven Queen in order to let them have a chance of making it out and the Raven Queen had agreed to it. He was able to have his wife  _ if  _ he didn’t look behind until they both made it out of the astral plane. They were so close, but just at the rift of the mortal world and the astral plane, he had turned around because he was still too afraid that what the Raven Queen had promised was false. Of course it wasn’t, and his wife was lost to him forever. 

It was just a story. He didn’t think it was real, but if it was...maybe he could get Lup out. He wouldn’t turn around, he doesn’t think he would. If there was a way without committing death crimes, he was willing to try it. If not, well, he had a backup plan on getting her out and it involved a lot of sneaking. 

He couldn’t really tell anyone about his plan. They might be against it, but if there was a way to get her back then Barry was going to try it. He needed to. It was obviously a mistake that Lup had perished in the fire in the first place. She wasn’t supposed to be dead. Lup was supposed to be here with them all. He knew this. So why would the Raven Queen even make such a grave mistake such as this? 

Barry poured over the books, taking down as many notes as he could. How would he be able to get into the astral plane in the first place? It’s never been done before–except for in myths. He combed through his hair, trying to understand anything. He wasn’t on a time crunch, not that he was aware of. The school was being very generous in giving everyone affected by any of the deaths at the inn to have an automatic two semesters off. They also made sure that affected students who were at the inn when the fire occurred would automatically pass their classes because of how distressing everything was. This also included anyone who was affected by any deaths. An automatic A in orgo...he would’ve liked it a lot better if the situation wasn’t so...how did the university put it?  _ Distressing? _

Barry wanted to laugh when he heard that reasoning. Yeah, no shit it was distressing. It was more than just distressing. Everyone in their lives were in shambles. Taako has lost so much weight in the past months, Ma was compulsively cleaning, Lucretia wasn’t meeting with anyone, Magnus was putting everyone else's needs in front of his own, Davenport can’t even look at any pictures of Lup, Merle was avoiding saying her name, almost as if he forgot it, and him?

Well, what about him? 

Oh, right, he was trying to use fucking necromancy in order to get her back. Even looked into old folklore as a possible solution. 

He banged his head on the book and groaned. As if that was going to help him. He was going crazy in an effort to bring her back and chances are it wouldn’t even work. He had to give up and move on. Lup was dead. That was it. She was dead and there was nothing he could do about it. Obviously the Raven Queen didn’t make a mistake. The Raven Queen  _ doesn’t _ make mistakes. It really had to be Lup’s time to go if one of the Raven Queen’s Reapers passed a scythe through her. 

He groaned in frustration. It just didn’t sit right with him. Lup dying was just not possible. Or it shouldn’t be. Elves had at least 700 years to their life expectancy, and Lup only got barely 20 years. It just didn’t sit right with him that she didn’t get at least a century under her belt. 

Maybe he was deep rooted in the denial part of grief, but there was just something  _ off _ about it all. Yeah, it was Lup’s room, it had her things in it, that was obvious, and yeah there was no way for her to escape if she were in it. Still, there was something not adding up for some reason and Barry couldn’t explain it for some reason. Lup just couldn’t be dead for him for some reason and he couldn’t explain it. He couldn’t even explain it to Taako who he tried to, but every time he got close, he closed up. Taako didn’t need anymore grief, especially if he thought his sister wasn’t dead after all and she was just hiding somewhere. 

Where could she be hiding though? Why hadn’t she come back to them if she were hiding? The threat was over. She was supposed to come back now. Unless...unless she had some sort of amnesia. Oh gods, what if she lost all her memory and was now wandering around helpless? What if she didn’t even know her own name let alone that she had a family waiting for her to come back? 

He leaned back in his chair, hands rubbing his face. He really was in the deep set of denial. He had to know that Lup was never coming back. She was gone. There weren’t any redos. Lup wasn’t coming back ever. 

That didn’t help him in hoping that somehow he was wrong. Somehow Lup was somewhere out there trying to make her way back, but not knowing how to. 

He pulled his hands back. He was being unreasonable. There wasn’t anyway that Lup was coming back. He had to get that into his head. She was but a memory now, and he had to cherish the memories that she gave him. He had to live with the fact that he never got to tell her how he truly felt. This wasn’t a game he could just go back to his last save point. He had to live with the choices he’s decided for the long run. That’s what being an adult was all about, wasn’t it?

His eye caught on something suddenly. There. A folder hidden behind some of his books, the edges old and bent. He stared at it for a second, perplexed as to what it was. He sat back up, reaching for the discarded folder, eyebrows furrowed. He was careful trying to be careful to not disturb the other books blocking the folder, but he should’ve known better than that. He grabbed at the folder, bracing the books, just for them to just topple in his hands like dominos. He grit his teeth. It really was no big deal, but everything had given him an edge as of late and that included books that just toppled over.

He let the betrayer of books fall, making a mental note to deal with them later. He flipped over the folder in his hand, not really knowing why he had it in the first place. When did he get this? He frowned, flipping it open only to just stare at the contents.

_ Salut D’amour  _ stared back at him. The notes teasing him as he stared aghast at it. Some passages were circled in it, telling Barry what he needed to practice on. Another note was to listen to Lup at a specific part. He never got to play with her, but he still made the note as if he would. His attention caught to the scrawling half print half cursive that was Lup’s handwriting. It was just something simple. He really shouldn’t be tearing up at the sight of it. But, there he was, crying at the sight of Lup’s way of writing his name. He traced over her letters and little exclamation point she added. 

He felt his heart begin to hurt as he stared at her handwriting, his stomach churning. Oh gods, he feared he was going to be sick. He shoved the folder away and put his head between his legs as he breathed raggedly. Oh gods. Oh gods. Oh  _ gods. _ Why did seeing her handwriting illicit this response? What happened to him that made that happen? It wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen her handwriting since her death. Most of her old notebooks that held all of her notes and some books that still had her commentary in it. But...seeing his name in her handwriting. That did something. That made him  _ hurt _ . 

He tried to breathe in deep but he couldn’t. Was he really going through this right now? Was this really how he was going to be spending his time? 

His hands were going through his hair rapidly, trying to bring him out of whatever he was going into. No, he was fine. It was just her handwriting. It was just his name in her handwriting. It was just the love of his life’s handwriting that spelled out his name. Oh gods, he was losing it. 

Then, suddenly, a hand on his shoulder and an urgent call to him. He looked up, dazed. It was Polly, large doe eyes filled with concern. 

“Barry, are you okay?” She asked, her tone kind and soft. He didn’t really know how to respond. Was he okay? No. He wasn’t. He knew that. He wasn’t okay and oh gods, he’s been letting Polly bear the brunt of all of this. She shouldn’t be doing this for him. She wasn’t his therapist that he was currently lacking in. She was his girlfriend that he didn’t really feel for romantically and oh  _ gods _ he was using her. He was using her while he was pining over another girl. A girl who was dead. 

He shook his head, afraid to even use his voice for the fear of it betraying him. He heard Polly sigh a bit before patting his knee and looking at the desk to see what could’ve gotten him in this position. He heard the shuffling of the folder as she took it out delicately and with care. She hummed as she looked in the contents.

“Salut D’amour Op 12 composed by Edward Elgar.” She read, “were you going to do this duet with Lup?”

He nodded his head mutely as she flipped through the sheet music, her humming ceasing as she went deeper into it. 

“I see,” she murmured, putting down the folder and taking a few steps back from Barry. He looked up, eyes feeling like they were about to fall off due to lack of sleep. Polly stood there, a frown on her face. “I’m glad you feel the same way.”

“What?” 

“Barry...I’ve been meaning to bring this up for a while now, but the timing was never right, and now Lup is gone and everything is messed up and–gods I can’t believe it took me so long to realize this. Barry...I’m not...in love with you?” Polly confessed, the last line coming out in more of a question than a statement. Her eyes went wide just a bit as she realized what she said. “W-what I mean is that I’m not in love with you  _ romantically _ . I thought I was, but it really was just admiration, and oh gods, you just lost someone, and now I’m asking to break up and this is terrible?”

To be honest, Barry had no idea what was going on. His mind was way too sleep deprived to keep up with what Polly was saying, and that made him feel even worse because she’s been so good to him. So, Barry did the only thing he could do which was.

“What?”

“I’m asking for us to break up because Barry...I don’t want to make assumptions, but you obviously were never into me. And I had confused being in love with someone with just admiring them and now that I know that, I know that I have no romantic feelings for you.” Polly explained, wringing her hands. She was avoiding eye contact and she seemed nervous as to how he would react. 

Barry thought for a moment. Yeah. He only felt platonic towards Polly. That was very much clear to him. Now, she’s saying she only felt platonic towards him and yeah. This was okay. This was fine. Polly was making it easy on him. She did the actual hard part of admitting that there never was any real romantic attraction there. She was braver than him, that’s for sure. 

“Yeah, Polly, I’m sorry, I never felt that way towards you, either.” He admitted, rubbing his face a bit. “It actually took Taako to spell it out for me.”

That got a small laugh out of her as she tucked a strand of curly black hair behind her ear.

“Well, I’m glad we got that sorted. So, break up?”

“Break up.”

Polly nodded, wringing her hands some more and teetering on her heels just a bit as she pursed her lips together. 

“You were in love, though. Well...still are, right? You’re in love with Lup.” 

To hear someone from the outside of their broken up group say it to him caught him by surprise. Sure  _ he  _ knew that he was in love with Lup. Taako knew. His Ma knew. He was sure that Lup had known and was just waiting for an actual confession. But everyone else in their friend group? As far as he knew, they had no idea about his feelings for Lup. But Polly knew. She had somehow cracked the code before anyone else in their friend group. He guess he really wasn’t hiding it from anyone, everyone had just been in their own little world to pay attention that Barry and Lup had serious feelings for one another. 

Still, just hearing his now ex girlfriend call him out that he was in love with his best friend–his dead best friend–was...a lot. He sank into himself and put his face in his hands again. 

“She didn’t know, did she?” Barry shook his head, trying to form words but not knowing how to. He assumed Lup knew, just like he knew that she had feelings for him. Taako had let the cat out of the bag 2 months after Lup had...yeah. He also told him that she was going to kick his ass when he finally made it to the astral plane for telling Barry in the first place. He felt even more stupid for thinking he was wrong. Of course Lup had feelings for him. It was right there at prom. Right there at the beach day. Right there in front of his face this entire time and he was constantly going back and saying that there was no way that Lup could ever love him. Plain old Barry, who could love him like that? Surely not someone like Lup who was iridescent.

“She–I had a feeling at least–knew how I felt, but she was waiting–”

“For an actual confession. I see.” Polly pursed her lips together. “Well, thanks for telling me what not to do when I find someone I actually like romantically.”

Barry let out a short chuckle which surprised Polly just a bit. Her eyes went wide as her face darkened just a bit from embarrassment. 

“Oh, gods, that was rude, wasn't it? I’m–”

“No, no, Polly, it’s fine. You’re right. You shouldn’t hold onto feelings you’ve had on the same person for fifteen years.” Polly blinked just a bit and then let out an exasperated sigh. 

“You’ve loved someone for fifteen years and you’ve never told them? Gods, Barry...I’m sorry, but that’s high key dumb?” 

“Super high key dumb.”

“And now you’ll never be able to tell her?” 

“Yeah...I–I won’t be.” 

Barry crumpled at this, letting sorrow take him as Polly wrapped him in a hug. Gods, he needed a therapist. 

oXo

She felt something twitch. Was she twitching? She suddenly felt more something than before. She was being moved? Was that something she could do? She opened her eyes. Eyes! That was something she could do, she could open her eyes. 

She finally felt more energetic than before, almost like someone had recharged her. She looked around. It was only black though. How could she tell if her eyes were open? She looked down and saw hands...her hands. She could see things. Why wouldn’t she put lights in here though? Why was it so dark?

There was a voice. A voice that she’s longed for. 

_ “It was Lup’s so now it’s mine. She would want me to have her weird Mary Poppins umbrella.”  _ There was something off about his tone though. Why did he sound so despondent? Why did he sound so far away? 

_ “Are you sure though? You’ve barely been in therapy for two months, Taako.” _

Therapy? Why would Taako need therapy again? What was going on? Wasn’t she supposed to be let out? Wasn’t the Umbrastaff supposed to spit her out when the coast was clear? Why was she still in here. 

_ “I’m fine! It’s what she would’ve wanted. Something to remember her by.” _

Remember her by...past tense...oh  _ gods no. _ They thought she was dead. Oh no, no, no,  _ no.  _

She did the first thing that came to mind. 

She screamed. She screamed at her brother to let her out, that she was in the umbrella, that she was fine. That she was still here. She screamed until her throat felt raw and until tears drenched her face. How much time had gone on with them thinking she was dead? 

_ “Love you, Lu.”  _ She heard a soft whisper. No, no, no, no. He couldn’t hear her. 

He couldn’t hear her and he’ll never know she was stuck in the umbrella.

Why the hell wasn’t it letting her out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do u ever just like to hurt yourself? because mood? Follow me on Tumblr @moonlightxstars! I don't do much except for crying about everything! 
> 
> Also, delving into different processes of grief is hard.


	13. Chapter 13

Month seven of Lup being gone had the forensics team giving Taako Lup’s umbrella. They had said it was because it seemed like it was just a regular old umbrella with a fire resistance. Nothing of interest. They were still doing tests with the gauntlet, careful to not actually touch it as far as he was aware. Seeming as he didn’t hear anything about  _ their _ lab exploding, he assumed they were treating it with great caution. 

Merle had opposed him having the umbrella before. He did just start therapy, and Merle was apparently worried that it would be a set back for his progress. Like hell he wasn’t going to keep his sister’s umbrella. He promptly told Merle to stuff it. He remembered what she said about it being a focus. He scoffed, a regular old umbrella? That’s really the only thing that they saw? Sure, Taako assumed that they were smart, but Lup was obviously smarter at hiding something like it being a magical item. Gods, they were dumb. 

He was still a little afraid to full on use it, though. He couldn’t explain it, something just felt so wrong with using it. He didn’t know what exactly it was. He examined the thing in his hand, turning it over, inspecting the curved handle. Even with her constrained time, Lup still put in time to make it beautiful. She had etched some sort of spell into it, the symbols he remembered vaguely of what their Auntie had taught them. A symbol for detection, safety, release...and then another incomplete one. It looked to be the same pattern of release, but slightly different. A mix between detection and release...but it wasn’t complete. That didn’t seem like Lup, though. Even if Lup didn’t have enough time to do something, she would make time for something. She wouldn’t just let it incomplete like this. She prided herself on her work. 

So why was this pattern not complete?

Did Lup forget that she didn’t complete it? Could be since he was sure that she wasn’t sleeping or trancing correctly. Probably sacrificing everything so she could finish her project on time. There was no way that Lup had overlooked this, though. She would analyze over and over again if it were really complete, especially since she already had the gauntlet to worry about. She wouldn’t overlook something like this. She would be meticulous to make sure that everything worked properly and soundly.

He scraped his thumb over the handle, inspecting it closer, trying to see what could have went wrong and...right there. Right where the strange symbol was there was a slight burn mark right in the middle of it. It was so slight and blended in so cleanly that he would’ve missed it entirely if he hadn’t been inspecting it. The rune was partially burned, disrupting the magic in the handle. He wrinkled his nose tossing the umbrella between his hands. It probably got that slight scorch mark from the fire. He knew that Lup probably made the umbrella more flame resistant, especially with her time crunch. To make something completely flame immune required too much magic, and she probably used most of her magic finishing up the damn thing. Gods she was dumb sometimes. He set the umbrella down again and stared up at their ceiling. It still had all of their stars on it having fully decided that he couldn’t get rid of them. It was something Lup left behind, he wasn’t about to destroy it out of rage and grief. His therapy was going well which seemed to give Merle some peace of mind. He was even able to go the whole night without holding onto one of Lup’s clothes to help him sleep. It was slow moving, but it was still progress.

He felt something jump on his bed and curl next to his legs. He caught sight of Sir Better than You nestling in close to him, closing his eyes. The old cat had been extra cuddly towards him as of late. Maybe it was because he also missed Lup, since she always had a way with cats, or maybe it was because the cat had sensed his mood and decided this was how he was going to treat ol Taako. To be honest, he really liked it. The comfort that he got from the old cat was a great way to let things go for just a bit, forget that Lup was gone, and pretend that she was laying down on the bed opposite of him reading a book while adding her little commentary with each line she thought was exceptionally funny or dumb. 

On days like this, he would turn over to her, catching her shoulders moving up and down as she silently laughed, shaking her head as she highlighted and added a little something. It was always with books that she and Barry both read. She would turn the book over to him so he could read her commentary and vice versa. They were so dumb about everything, especially when it came to love. Of course, he wasn’t any better since he had been more or less ignoring Kravitz every time he texted him. 

He didn’t do it on purpose. At first, Kravitz let him have his space. He was grieving and lashing out on anyone who tried to comfort him in the slightest. Bless Kravitz for understanding that he simply needed to be alone for a while without anyone bearing over him. But, of course when that sort of passed, Merle immediately put him in therapy because he was lashing out way too often. He needed some place to channel that, some place to  _ help _ him channel that. Which was why he was in therapy and had been going there for two months now. He wasn’t trying to make Kravitz hate him, on the contrary, he wanted to be better for Kravitz. He wanted to get this therapy over with so that he could channel his grief better. So that when he was ready to come back to Kravitz, he wasn’t lashing out at every possibility. 

He guessed it was because he didn’t want Kravitz to walk on eggshells around him. He didn’t want Kravitz to feel like  _ he _ had to do something in order to make him whole again. Taako wasn’t about that life. He didn’t want Kravitz to be his knight in shining armor ready to save poor defenseless Taako. This was a partnership and he refused to let Kravitz to save him from his own peril. He just wanted Kravitz to be Kravitz. 

Which was why therapy had been so good for him so far. In the beginning, he might’ve assumed that he wanted that from Kravitz. Someone to rescue him from his own mind. But, if therapy had taught him anything it was that it wasn’t fair to put that sort of pressure on someone like that. That was something he had put Lup through after their Auntie had died. She was the stable twin, she was the one that would set things right again. Except, Lup was also 10, he shouldn’t have put everything on her because he refused to talk to anyone else but her. He was learning, that’s all he could ask for. 

So, when a knock sounded at his and Lup’s–no his door, he was taken aback. It was a Wednesday. He didn’t have therapy today, so why would there be knocking on his door? He didn’t even call for the person to come in, they just tentatively opened the door, peeking their head in. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to recognize Kravitz at his door. His dark eyes were wide as he peered in, perfectly contrasted by the white patches around his eyes.

“Taako?” He called hesitantly, he tapped the door frame just a bit as they made eye contact. He sheepishly ducked his head just a bit, embarrassed for no reason. Taako could feel a smile creeping onto his face as he saw him getting flustered. 

“Hey,” he was unmoving on his bed, refusing to look over to his sister’s empty bed. If he could imagine hard enough then Lup would be there, stifling a laugh as she texted Barry about how embarrassed Kravitz looked. With his attention not directly on her, she would be making faces at him, probably making kissy noises just to make Kravitz feel even more embarrassed. 

“Sorry, Magnus said you were up here and you weren’t answering your stone, and I just–I got worried?” He was so cute and Taako was so in love with him. 

“So you decided to come over to see how I am?” Taako inquired, raising his eyebrow up just a bit. He sat up just a bit more, crossing his arms just a bit. It wasn’t like Kravitz hadn’t visited him before. He had seen him a handful of times before he started therapy and that’s what really solidified that he needed it. Kravitz didn’t deserve the silent treatment from his grief. Even though he would be more than understandable and would comfort him. Still, he didn’t want Kravitz to put himself out more than he needed to. 

“Yeah,” Kravitz stepped into the room, closing the door softly behind him. He teetered on his heels just a bit, his hands pulling on his dreads in a nervous manner. Gods he was perfect. Taako opened his arms up to him, waving his fingers just a bit to beckon him forward. Kravitz for his part, hurried over to him, collapsing into his arms as Taako embraced him. “Missed you, love.” 

Taako scoffed good naturedly, burrowing his nose in his hair. 

“Natch, babe.” He sighed contently, imagining Lup there once more making noises of disgust. He could practically feel the pillows she would’ve aimed at them, telling the both of them to get a room that wasn’t near her. “I’ve missed you, too.” 

Taako snuggled deeper into Kravitz’s embrace, trying to block out the ghost of his sister and what she would’ve done if she were still here. He was trying to get his life back together as much as he could without his sister, and if he kept thinking that she was there, then he would never get better. He would never carry on with his life and will forever be seeing his sister’s ghost everywhere he goes. Forever haunted by her. He tightened his grip on Kravitz, trying to pull him closer. 

“You’re thinking about her?” Kravitz stroked his hair just a bit, calming him.

“Yeah,” Taako sighed, nuzzling his face into the crook of Kravitz’s shoulder. “I’m getting there. The therapist I’m going to says I’m making great strides and everything. It still hurts.”

“Of course, love. It won’t ever not hurt.”

“Gee, thanks, babe.”

“What I mean is, she was closer to you than anyone else. Of course it’ll still hurt and–” Kravitz stopped short, looking down at the bed and noticing the umbrastaff. “What’s this?”

“It was my sister’s. She made it for a class.” Taako explained, not unraveling himself from Kravitz. Apparently he had other plans though, since Kravitz scooted just a bit away from him to inspect the staff closer. 

“Most unusual. You always did fail to tell me her name.” Kravitz picked up the staff carefully, bringing it to his face to look at it more closely. “It just looks like a normal umbrella.”

“Sort of her specialty. Making any common item cool as shit.” Taako thought back to what Kravitz said just previously. He had failed to mention Lup’s name? How could he ever do that? Lup was apart of him and–right, Kravitz was his outlet of being seen as one person. He had said he had a sister, naturally, it came up, but never went into specifics about her. He floated around her name, and now he felt even more miserable about it. Lup deserved to be known, not hidden away. “Her name was Lup.”

Kravitz startled slightly, looking at him with wide eyes, his eyebrows pulled together just a bit. He seemed to be thinking about something, what Taako didn’t know. That was until he slammed the umbrastaff down against the bed.

“I knew you looked familiar!” He announced, hands going to his dreads. “I didn’t want to assume, but oh gods. Lup?”

“Yeah?”

“Gods, she was my dance partner back during winter session! I was wondering what had happened to her after her ankle...gods, to think she was so close and now. Fuck.” He looked down at the abandoned staff somberly, his lips frowning that Taako so desperately wanted to kiss better. 

“She was?” Was all he could say about that. After the accident, Lup didn’t want to talk about dance again. Refused to even do anything about it. He knew that she was hurting about it, knew that she missed it. He also knew that she secretly used her barre and went on demi-pointe to check her ankle strength. He never told her that he knew that she did that, didn’t want her to deny it or to apologize for trying to get back into it. He could tell that she missed it. Could tell when she was seemingly alone in the kitchen and she would do simple exercises around the place. She would hum songs around the house, her feet doing some footwork that always left Taako semi jealous. He didn’t have the patience for ballet, though. That was all Lup.

“Yeah. Gods, she had a lot of potential until she broke her ankle. Companies don’t like it when elves break their bones because it takes them forever to fully heal. I could tell they were really looking at her to take on as an apprentice.” Kravitz began to play with his hair just a bit, looking around the room a bit. His eyes scanning Lup’s side of the room, taking it all in. 

“So, what about you? You’re not dancing.”

Something about that made Kravitz get a little antsy. Taako couldn’t explain as to why he would get that way. It made no sense to him. It was a simple question as far as he was aware of, nothing too bad. 

“I’m...well, I was an apprentice but then I was put on permanent leave?” Why did this man sound so unsure on whether or not he was put on leave? It didn’t make any sense to Taako. In fact, it sort of irked him a little bit that Kravitz was being a little cagey. But, hey, he could be cagey too, so maybe Kravitz had a reason to do that. 

Instead, Taako nodded and took Kravitz’s hands in his. The coldness in his hands had always shocked him. Taako had brought it up at one point, to which Kravitz just explained that he had poor circulation in his hands. Something about it being genetic and he couldn’t really help it. Not even if he were super thick mittens could it stop them from getting cold. 

“She talked a lot about her family. Especially about her twin brother. Didn’t say his name for some reason though. What is with you two about never giving out names?”

“Kind of had to be a little cryptic, babe. All part of our glorious charm.” Taako grabbed hold of Kravitz’s face and kissed him gently. Gods had he been missing those sweet lips. “So, tell me why you’re really here, hot stuff.”

Kravitz chuckled a bit at that, holding his hands so gently that Taako had to keep himself from getting too giddy. To think that Lup had one point danced with this man. Now that must’ve been something. He was lowkey jealous that Lup got to dance with him. He wondered how it was to be safe in Kravitz’s arms mid flight like that. He would possibly feel just like how Kravitz held his hands. He’d feel safe and comforted and more at peace with himself than he had been in such a long time. 

“Can’t I visit my boyfriend because I’m semi worried about him?” He asked, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Taako sighed contently. 

“I guess so, but I know that’s not just the reason as to why you’re here.” He knew that he was smiling and he could genuinely say that he was feeling happy. Happier than he had in months. However, he could still feel the presence of the ghost in the back of his head, haunting him, asking him to pay attention to her. The ghost wasn’t real. He had to know that. That’s what his therapist had explained to him. The ghost wasn’t Lup. Lup was gone and he had to veer away from unhealthy coping mechanisms. 

“I was thinking about taking you out tonight. Maybe go do some painting or pottery?” Kravitz suggested, caressing his knuckles. Taako smiled, putting his forehead up against Kravitz’s. It was cool to the touch, but that was probably just because Kravitz tended to run on the colder side. 

“That sounds perfect,” Taako smiled, tightening his hold on Kravitz. He could practically hear Lup’s voice in the back of his head yelling at him to get a move on. To leave her alone so she could go back to texting Barry. In this universe, Barry and Lup were together. She was probably texting him to come over since she would have the room to herself and most of the house. Merle would’ve been at work. Davenport probably in the shed working on his car. Magnus would be leaving shortly to visit Julia, and Lucretia–forget about Lucretia. She was the reason why Lup wasn’t here. 

His therapist would’ve tutted her head if she heard him say that. She would explain that it wasn’t a good idea to hold a grudge on Lucretia, that he had to talk to her in due time. He would always agree in the moment, but really, he had his hand behind his back crossing his fingers. 

“Do you want to bring her umbrella?” Kravitz asked. Taako looked down at the umbrella, not knowing what to do. It wasn’t going to rain as far as he knew. Why would he need to bring it? Besides, it would probably be a bad idea to tote around your dead sister’s umbrella. Even though it was a cool magical item. He doubted he was going to be fighting anyone, so why bring it? It was just an extra thing to carry and it would be dumb to. Nah, Taako would rather have his hands free today. 

“I think I’m gonna leave it. Don’t really want to be left holding the whole time we’re out.” Taako got up from the bed and stretched out. Sir Better than You, finally realizing that his spot was now ruined, jumped off the bed and over to Lup’s side of the room where he jumped back on Lup’s bed. A few months ago Taako would’ve shooed the cat off her bed, but now, he let him stay. No one else was going to use it, and Merle had been talking about actually getting rid of the old twin beds in the room and adding in a queen. Something to give the room a bit more pizazz as he said. 

He bonelessly put on his shoes and put a large sheer jacket over top. It was sort of ugly, but Taako could work with ugly. He could make even the plainest of clothing look like a million dollars. It was the best gift his parents had given him. 

“Ready, handsome? Taako’s ready to get his paint on.” It was still technically illegal for him to drink, however, a little magic could fix that problem right up for him. Besides, painting and drinking sounded like the best combination of things. Who knows what his creative juices could get up to while intoxicated. The world was so full of possibilities!

“Always ready for you.”

“Sap,” Kravitz chuckled, getting up from his bed and extending his arm to him. Gods, he was such a gentleman. How did he get so lucky?

Kravitz had just opened the door when they both heard something rattle from behind them. Taako was just about to chalk it up to the cat demanding attention, but Kravitz had turned around to inspect the sound. He gasped, taken aback from whatever he saw. Taako quirked an eyebrow, turning around with him. The sight before him left him speechless.

The umbrella was rattling about on the floor, demanding attention and to be picked it. It glowed just a bit, almost like it was about to set off a spell without a castor. How in the hell it was doing that was beyond him. He had barely used the thing, just did a minor transmutation spell when he had first gotten it. There was no way it still had some of his energy embedded in there. So how could it be doing that?

“Taako, do you?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you going to?”   
  


“Yeah, I’ll pick it up.”

He probably shouldn’t sound so nonchalant about an obviously possessed umbrella that could shoot magic at any second, but he did. He didn’t know how to react to it. It was beyond him, something he had never experienced before. He had the umbrella for a couple of months now and it has never done anything like this before. It alarmed him a little bit because he wondered what else it could do. What other things could this umbrella do on its own? What did Lup  _ do  _ to it?

He gingerly walked closer to the umbrella, careful not to alarm it as he made his way. It continued to rattle violently on the floor, picking up some air as it screamed for attention. Maybe that’s what it wanted. Maybe Lup had made it with him in mind. She would do something like that just to grate his gears a bit. Tentatively, he picked the thing up, the handle uncomfortably warm to the touch. Almost immediately, the thing calmed down and settled in his hand. The handle cooled from its temper tantrum, and Taako was just left with a now tempered umbrella and a very confused boy.

“Seems like it wants to join us?”

Kravitz just nodded, eyeing the thing suspiciously as Taako walked back over to him, the handle now on his arm. He didn’t know that the umbrastaff was capable to come to life like that, especially without a castor. What else did Lup put in the thing? A casino pocket dimension? Pft, yeah right. Lup hated creating pocket dimensions because they took up way too much time and energy. That would be the last thing she would do. 

oXo

There were a lot of things that Lup had learned while being stuck in the umbrastaff. One: all of her needs just conveniently dissipate. Maybe it was because it was trying to make her feel less alive and more apart of the staff itself. Who knows. But, she was glad to find that the mini fridge idea was a total and utter waste of testing. Wonderful, perfect. That didn’t take four days of her precious time to figure out. Two: she could talk through the umbrastaff by channeling a lot of her magic through it. That little fact was especially useful since Taako almost left without her. 

It wasn’t that she wanted to go on the date with Taako and Kravitz, because  _ ew.  _ It was more to do with the fact that she didn’t want to be alone. Taako had left her alone in the room before. Sometimes he left her to go to his therapy sessions or to just leave the house in general. It was scary and isolating every time he did. Barely anyone came into their room, mostly because no one else wanted to be reminded that one of them was gone. What they didn’t know was that she was right there. If they could just open their ears and listen to her then they would know. 

Another thing that she figured out was that she was very much trapped. She had tried to release spell, tried to activate the release manually through where she was, but nothing happened. The only explanation for that was–but there was no way. No way that one of her runes got messed up. She checked everything ten times to see if it was absolutely perfect, and for the most part, it was. No way one of her runes got messed up. 

But it wouldn’t explain anything else. Whether she liked it or not, one of her runes got damaged somehow and she was trapped. Unless someone broke her out. That was only put in for in case of emergencies. So far though, no one has been able to hear her at all. 

The amount of times she had screamed at them had left her voice hoarse and only made things worse for her energy. Needless to say, this fucking sucked. 

It also didn’t help that she barely heard Barry’s voice this entire time being stuck in the staff. Every so often he’d appear and all she wanted to do was get out so she could be with him. However, he had barely made an appearance, whether it was because he was avoiding being around the place that reminded him of her, or Taako just not spending time with him anymore because it hurt too badly. She fisted her hair, stomping her foot. It was all too much. This was when they needed to be with one another the most and they were avoiding each other? Why in fucks name would they do that? They really were her dumb boys.

At least Taako had Kravitz it seemed like. Kravitz. She was shocked when she heard his voice for the first time, thought her ears were going on her. But nope, there was Kravitz shacking it up with her dingus of a brother. She was glad that Taako had found Kravitz, he was a nice guy and had actually helped her the most when her ankle had broken. Huh, the last time she heard something about him, he was in a train accident on his way to the theatre and in critical condition. She was glad that he made it out alright. 

That still didn’t help her, though. She was currently pacing in a too dark room with no way out. She shuddered at the darkness. She had never really been a fan of the dark if she were to be honest. As an elf who has night vision, it seemed pretty stupid to be even the slightest bit worried about what creeps in the night. Still, she didn’t like how sometimes her night vision played tricks on her sometimes, making her see more shadows than normal. Besides, this was a different kind of darkness. It was something she couldn’t really see. Even if she lit a little fire, she would only be able to see her hand lit up and then barely anything else. She felt as though someone else was creeping in this pocket dimension with her, making it harder and harder to breathe with each second she spent trapped in this thing. 

She needed her family again. She needed to hold them in her arms and  _ feel _ again. Something other than dread and misery. She needed Taako again, holding onto her tight and not letting go. She needed Lucretia and Taako to talk it out so Taako can forgive her because it wasn’t Lucretia’s fault. It was her fault for making her hold out on a secret code they made when they were kids. 

_ “You can’t tell anyone, kay, Creesh? Remember: sister secret!”  _

Gods, she was so dumb and now Taako was blaming Lucretia for everything and that wasn’t right. That shouldn’t be how this all went. She was supposed to be with them right now. They were supposed to be starting classes soon. Lup was supposed to be graduating this year, but instead she was trapped in this fucking umbrella and–

She had no idea that she was sobbing until she was. Suddenly she was hyperventilating, feeling everything close in all around her. Oh gods, was she ever going to get out of here? Was she going to die in this pocket dimension without anyone knowing that she was here to begin with? She collapsed to her knees, hands buried in her hair. How was she going to tell everyone that she was here? That she needed their help to bust her out?

She curled in on herself, feeling everything crash down all around here. They couldn’t  _ hear  _ her. How else were they going to know that she was here? This was probably going to be her new prison. Her punishment for her hubris maybe. She could only hear the people that she loved. She wouldn’t be able to interact with them, and they wouldn’t be able to hear her. They all thought she was dead. 

She screamed, putting everything she had into one burst of magic. Something to get their attention. Maybe if she channeled her magic again, they’d be able to get her message? It was worth a shot. She shot her shot.

_ “Taako, is everything alright with that umbrella?” _

_ “I think so? I don’t know why it’s acting like this. It has never done this until today.” _

Lup heard a gasp, her ears pricked. Yes, please, she’s right here, please notice that she’s here. 

_ “Taako, isn’t that your sister’s name?” _

Oh, please gods, please, let Taako know. Please let Taako know that she is right here and waiting for him to let her out. 

_ “Yeah, it is her name. I guess staff know its creators name? Good on you staff, thanks for the reminder.” _

No, no, no,  _ no.  _ Please, no. Taako, please think again. Please, oh gods, please. Listen to her. Listen to what was written. She’s right here, she’s right here waiting.

_ “Come on, Krav, I think I need to head back before everyone starts worrying about me” _

Lup couldn’t listen anymore. He didn’t know. He didn’t know that she was right here waiting for him.

She curled in on herself, her energy spent.

xOx

Month ten of Lup being gone crept up to Barry like a bad nightmare. Everyone has been moving so sluggish to him, even if they haven’t really. He doesn’t know what to do. He isn’t in school since the university has him on mandatory leave. He was going to therapy, though, so that was good he assumed. Ma was worried about him, and he was sure if everyone else back at that house were to see him, they would be scared too. He was staying up all night not able to sleep, and the rest of his time was spent either at therapy or trying to make him feel like a regular human. 

He had gotten better at eating at least. He was now eating more than one meal a day which was progress for him. Take every day one moment at a time. That was all he had to do. That’s what his therapist was telling him to do, at least. He was fine, He just needed to take a deep breath. This will all come to pass and he was going to be fine. 

Even saying that didn’t make him believe any of it. Instead, he sat in bed, staring at the ceiling that Lup and him had spent hours looking up at, pointing at the different shapes in the ceiling and spinning their story. How he longed to have that now with her once again. He sighed as he picked up a book from beside him.  _ Dracula _ was a book that the two of them frequented back to, always picking up on more details that they had overlooked before, discovering new jokes that went over their heads when they were younger. Lots of Lup’s little scribbles were in there, along with his. Each of them getting more and more excited at the book went on. 

He could stare at her handwriting all day. The sloppy half print half cursive that she used to do got even crazier whenever she got excited. Most of the time, the loops would take most of the words, making what she was saying unreadable. To Barry, that didn’t really matter. He just enjoyed seeing her excitement in her writing. He also liked to look back on his own notes and see that Lup had written comments directly to him. Most of the time, it was her agreeing with what he said, and adding her own input about it. How he loved it. 

He sat up, letting the book drop back on the bed as he stared at the old keyboard standing abandoned. He hadn’t had the heart to play it since Lup died. He just couldn’t, not when his old duet partner wasn’t with him anymore. Gods how he missed her and her overall presence. What he would give to have it back. To have her back. He’s never wanted something more in his life. 

Barry felt the weight of the world on his shoulders again as he reminisced about his time with her. How he’ll never stop kicking himself over the fact that he never got to say how much he loved her. That he never got to say that he could picture them  _ together. _ He had spent a lot of his time imagining what their wedding would be like, if she would have him for a husband. Had even began looking on fantasy pinterest for ideas. He was sure if Lup had ever found out about that, she would’ve made fun of him to no end and call him a creep. It would be in a joking manner, but Barry would still feel the sting of being called that by her. 

Also, he refused to admit that he thought about their potential future kids.

He couldn’t help it. He had grown up with the twins, knew what they were like and knew that he wanted to have little minis of Lup running around pulling pranks on everyone. He wanted that more than anything. He had talked about having kids in the future with Lup before while they were getting community service hours and helping out a local kid group with their sports team. Lup had worked so well with them and seemed to care for each of them so much, that it was hard not to notice the soft spot she had for kids in general. Hell, any time they went out to a grocery store she had always made direct eye contact at a baby and cooed at them. Which was why Barry had even brought up the subject of having kids in the future. Lup for her part just became quiet and shook her head.

_ “Barry, I can’t  _ have _ kids, remember?” _

He tended to always forget that fact about Lup, especially when it came to conversations such as this. However, he didn’t know when to stop.

_ “But isn’t there a way to you know, do that? Your Auntie was teaching the both of you a bit about it?” _

_ “Yeah, there’s that, and at first I would’ve jumped at the opportunity if it insured I would be able to pop a few kids out, but it’s dangerous. There’s more of an increased chance for miscarriage and still birth. Infertility, hemorrhages. It just doesn’t seem worth it.” She paused there, looking out as the kids played, a wistful smile on her face. “But, yeah, I would like to have kids, and hey, there’s always kids who need to get adopted.” _

She was right about that, and no doubt was thinking about her and Taako when they were growing up. Still, call him selfish, but the idea of a child that looked like a mix between him and Lup...now that would be something. 

Of course he was going into creepy territory again. He had never told Lup just how he felt, and now he was still trying to play out what their kid would look like? Yeah, that’s something he’ll take to the grave. Even with that being said, he still couldn’t shake the image of a half elf child with dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes. Maybe a twin? Would that be too much? He really should get out of this mindset because no matter how much he imagines those kids, they’ll never exist. One reason was that Lup really didn’t seem interested to undergo that procedure, which was 100% her choice, obviously. And, even if she were willing to do that, she was still dead. Nothing could change that. 

So those two perfect kids that kept creeping into the back of his mind were only a fantasy. They’ll never exist because the mother was already gone. 

He couldn’t believe that he was only 20 and thinking about having kids. What kind of weirdo was he?

A ringing caught him off-guard. It was muffled due to weeks of clothes burying it, but he definitely heard his stone ringing. Who could be calling him, he had no idea. Polly was back at school, starting to stress over finals coming up shortly. Taako didn’t call him unless he had a really bad night, which he was having less and less ever since Merle let Kravitz stay some nights in Taako’s room. Lucretia was on radio silence from everyone, barely coming out of her room for meals. Magnus started spending more time over with Julia, and Merle barely knew how to use the stone. Only Davenport was competent at using it, but he only sent text messages. So who was calling him?

He dug around the clothes, trying to locate his ringing stone. It took a couple of precious seconds before he located it in a pile of dirty jeans. Lup would’ve made fun of him relentlessly over it. He checked the id on the stone, only to see it was Magnus calling. He accepted the call, pressing the stone up to his ear. 

“Magnus, bud, what’s–”

“Dude, you have to come over here right now. Bring Mama with you.” Barry could make out some yelling and crying in the background and his stomach dropped. This was when he found out that Lup was gone. Who was gone this time? Was it Lucretia? Oh gods, not Lucretia. 

“Why? What’s wrong? Magnus, is everyone okay?”

“Everyone’s fine, it's just...Lup. Lup’s here?” 

Barry dropped his stone and immediately rushed out of the house, grabbing his Ma on the way out. He didn’t even tell her what was going on, just that they both had to go to Merle’s place.

“Barry, what’s going on?” Ma asked. She was barely dressed for an outing, just in her oversized sleep t-shirt and pajama pants that she got from Lup one year. 

Barry barely had time to answer, he placed her in the passenger seat and ran to the drivers side, fumbling as he put the keys in the ignition. His heart was beating a mile a mile. Lup was there. Lup was at Merle’s house. How was she there? Was she alright? He was making unintelligible answers, he knew that. He knew that his Ma’s patience was running a little thin. He could almost picture her trying to hold it all in. 

“Lup,” was all he could muster out as he put the car in reverse and started to drive the 45 minutes to Merle’s house. 

“Lup? What about Lup?” He had piqued Ma’s interest. He could sense the how her body froze in place as she tried to make sense about what he could possibly mean. He was being cruel and not answering as he sped his way to her. “Barry Joab Hallwinter, tell me what is going on!”

There was desperation in her voice and the use of his full name like that startled him slightly. She never used it. 

“Lup’s at Merle’s house.” Was all he had to say before Ma burst into tears thanking whichever god listening. 

The 45 minutes seemed to take forever before he pulled up to Merle’s old house. He had barely put the car in park and turned it off before he was out of the car, Ma hot on his heels. He sped inside, quickly opening the always unlocked door. He was sprinting as he got closer to the crowd of people gathered around the small living room, huddling over the old overstuffed loveseat. 

There were two people on the loveseat. Two elves with identical blonde hair. They were both tangled in the others embrace, crying like he had never seen them cry before, and he was just standing there, stunned by it all, because there was Lup. She was right there. She was here. She was alive. 

“Barry and Mama are here!” He heard someone announce, and immediately Lup whipped her head up, finally catching his face. He felt like he was dreaming. No way this was real. No way was she real. Lup couldn’t be here. There wasn’t any way.

But she was here because she was suddenly standing and making her way over to him. Her hair had grown out and she looked like she had just showered. Her eyes were watering with fresh tears as she looked at him, memorizing every detail of his face and he did the same to her. He was stunned, looking more and more like the fish she always teased him about looking like. It only lasted for another couple of seconds before he surged forward, quickly embracing her and holding onto her tightly. He felt her sag beneath him, exhaling so contentedly that he didn’t know how to function. 

She was here, this wasn’t a dream, she was right here in his arms. 

He felt like he only got a few seconds with her because all of a sudden she wasn’t there anymore and he could hear Ma’s elated screaming. He turned to see that Lup was now being rocked by Ma as she whimpered into her shirt. She kissed Lup’s head repeatedly, holding onto her tightly as if she was going to lose her again. 

Barry turned from the moment, allowing them to have it. He looked at the loveseat to see Taako still sitting there, awestruck. Magnus was rubbing his back and just making sure he was okay in general. Barry made his way over to them, still not believing that this was all real.

“How is she–but the–and the–”

“She was inside the umbrella.” Magnus informed, rubbing little circles into Taako’s back. “Taako forgot that he put it on the loveseat and he and I kind of broke it when we sat on it.”

“So this isn’t a dream?”

“If it was a dream then the gods are cruel and I’ll storm down the astral plane.” Taako said, still sounding stunned at everything that had happened. One moment Lup was gone and now she was here. It was truly a dream come true. Barry sat down on the arm of the loveseat, not knowing what else to do as he heard Ma’s cries over Lup’s return. 

oXo

The months following Lup’s return come in go. Suddenly she’s there and no one can get enough of her, for good reason. Barry had been spending every night at Merle’s house, taking shifts on Lup Watch Duty. Taako had been sent away the last couple of days, especially since Lup had gotten more and more irritated with everyone crowding her all the time. She never outright said it, but Barry could sense that she was thinking it. Could tell in the way her shoulders tensed just a little anytime someone was being too overbearing. Could tell by how she never said exactly what went down in the umbrastaff and how she managed to survive there for 10 months.

He felt bad for being part of the reason for her discomfort, but he couldn’t help it. She was gone for 10 months and they had all missed her. They were just afraid that she was going to disappear again.Yeah, they were going overboard on it, but still.

So, he was on the couch downstairs sleeping instead of being in the guest room where Lup was. Merle had got rid of the twins old beds and replaced it with the queen bed. Taako was out at Kravitz’s apartment so he could give Lup some space. Magnus was with Julia, Lucretia has been making herself even more scarce and was hanging out somewhere Barry had no idea. Merle and Davenport were out somewhere, too, so it was just him and Lup all alone at the house. He had promised Taako that he would watch over her and make sure to check in on her every hour or so to prove to himself that she was still there and present. He was always nervous that suddenly she’ll be gone and it was all just a dream and she really was gone. 

So, Barry sat on the couch, reading a book. He was going to turn in after this chapter, an alarm on for every three hours to check in on Lup. He was getting a little less excessive, that past few nights he was checking in on her on the hour. She had made a noise of discontentment every time he walked in, so he figured that he should give her some more space.

Just when he was about to close his book for the night, he heard screaming. It sounded like it came right out of a movie with how blood curdling it sounded and it set Barry through a loop. Lup was in trouble, something had happened. Someone broke into the house and Lup was hurt. He shot up to his feet and charged into the small guest room, nearly busting the door off its hinges as he looked around for Lup. He turned the light on and saw her thrashing about on the bed, her eyes still closed from what he could see, screaming like no tomorrow. 

Barry rushed over to her, throwing himself over her to make her stop thrashing as he held her in his arms. For a moment, she thrashed more violently, screaming right in his ear until he started to coo at her, rocking her back and forth. She stilled in his arms, her screaming turning into crying as she realized where she was. She clutched Barry’s night shirt, crying into his chest.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here.” Barry whispered, positioning himself to sit on the bed with her as he rocked her. She whimpered as she nuzzled closer into his chest, her grip not lessening. “What happened?”

It took her awhile to answer. Her breathing was ragged and her body was trembling so much that Barry’s heart ached. Seeing the person that he loved hurt this badly...gods, he just wanted to make it all better for her. 

“It was dark. All dark. I was back in that place and there was no way out.” She whimpered, pressing herself closer to him. He tightened his embrace, stroking her hair as he rocked her back and forth, trying to comfort her. It was the first time she spoke about what it was like inside the umbrella, he was going to let her take her time with it. “It was all too much. No one knew I was there, Barry, and I thought–I thought”

She choked on that last line as she buried her head even further into his chest, crying and shaking. Barry just sat there, his arms around her, trying to soothe the person he loved so desperately, trying to take away her pain. She sobbed into his shirt, soaking it with her tears, but Barry didn’t care. Who he cared about was laying right there in the bed with him, crying her eyes out. He was more than glad to be her tissue if it meant that it made her feel comforted and here. 

“I was so scared.”

He held her closer, letting her sobs become hiccups. He didn’t know how long they were like that. Ten minutes? An hour? It didn’t matter. What mattered was Lup and that she was here still. After a while, her grip loosened and her breathing evened out. She seemed to have gone back to sleep, and not wanting to overstay his welcome, he gently laid her back down on the bed and put the covers over her. It wasn’t the best way to sleep, but he put on the lamp on the bedside table so she didn’t have to be in the dark. It was a temporary fix. He was probably going to go out to the store some time tomorrow to purchase a night light for her. 

He faced Lup’s sleeping form, her mouth open just a bit, clutching at the blanket to keep her comforted. He smiled down at her. He didn’t know what made him do it, but all of a sudden, he had pressed a kiss to her temple and stayed there for just a moment. He didn’t think he just did.

“I love you,” he murmured to her. It wasn’t like she had heard it. She was fast asleep, so he was fine. He turned to go back to the couch when there was suddenly a hand on his wrist. 

“Stay,” came Lup’s voice, raspy and weak from her crying. Barry turned to see her, her eyes drooped down from the weight of her tears. “I don’t want to be alone.”

Who was he to deny her? She had asked him to stay. It would be rude to tell her no, especially after all she had been through, and truth be told, he wanted to. He wanted to hold her in his arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay. Still, he had to be sure that this was what she wanted. 

“Are you sure?” 

Lup nodded, practically pulling him down to be with her. He had heard the lady, and he wasn’t going to deny her any longer. He went around on the other side of the bed and laid down. Except, now he didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what was appropriate anymore, and he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. Sure he comforted her just a bit ago, but that was different. Lup had been screaming and the only thing he could do was hold her to tell her that he was right there, that she wasn’t alone anymore. So, instead, he laid on the bed stiffly, not knowing what to do with himself. 

Lup for her part turned over to him, locking eyes with him. She smiled weakly at him as she took hold of his hand. She clung onto it like she was never going to let go, and for his part, Barry was sure as hell that he was never going to let go. Not now, not ever. He smiled back at her, watching as she sighed, content that he was right there beside her. Her eyes drooped closed and Barry joined her in dream land.

oXo

It was the smell that had woken her up. It was so comforting and relaxing that she just wanted to keep sleeping right there. A musky smell, mixed with fresh coffee with a hint of  _ something  _ that she was never able to place. Whatever it was, it was comforting and made her feel like she was home again. Still, it was so potent that it alarmed her. So much so, she startled awake, only to find herself wrapped in his embrace. 

She was practically on top of him. Somehow throughout the night she had made her way onto his chest and just stayed there. It made her feel so safe and cared for that she didn’t want to move from this spot. Besides, he had said that he loved her last night. The way that he said it sounded so different from how he normally said it and maybe there was something there. 

She shut her eyes and played pretend for a bit. They were together, married even, waking up late on a lazy Sunday. She pretended that she could hear giggling from the doorway and if she imagined hard enough, she could practically see the kids in the doorway peeping in, going over their plan once more on how they were going to wake them up.

Kids. She had started to want them more and more as of a few years ago when Barry first brought it up to her. She had read up on the risks of doing that spell and when she saw them, it didn’t seem like it was worth it. She had only heard of a few success stories with it, and all of them had done the procedure when they were still very young. She was still a child according to elvish law, but still. 

She wanted to be someone’s mama one day. Obviously not now, but one day. She wanted to be someone’s mama the way that Mama Bluejeans was her mama. She wanted to be like Mama and have someone look at her the way she had always looked at Mama. Dependable and a stable force in her upbringing, she wanted to be that way to someone. Also, as she thought about it, she and Barry would make cute kids. Like, super cute kids. 

Still, the risks of it not even happening loomed over her head. It was too overbearing. She had to give it more thought before even going fully into it. Also, she and Barry weren’t even together. Fuck, he was with Polly and she was all over him like this. Oh, fuck.

She pushed herself off from him, immediately holding herself as she looked sheepishly at Barry’s sleeping form. His eyebrows furrowed together as his body adjusted to the missing weight from his chest, and he seemed to be looking around for her. When he found that he couldn’t find her, he opened his eyes, blinking blearily at her. He caught her looking at her and noticed the uncomfortable expression on her face before practically flying up in bed, his eyes wide.

“Oh gods, did I do something wrong? Was I snoring, gods, Lup, I’m so sorry.” He hurried, eyes wide with guilt. Lup immediately started shaking her head, trying to get him to come down from the guilt.

“No, no, it was nothing like that, it was me. I’m sorry! I can’t believe I asked you to sleep next to me when I knew you were dating someone, gods I’m so fucking dumb.” She ranted, raking her fingers through her hair. 

Barry was so silent that she turned to face him again. He had a questioning look on his face and his head was turned at an angle that made her want to kiss him to the end of time. Barry was dating someone she had to remind herself. 

“Me and Polly broke up.” He told her matter a factly. Lup froze in place as she looked at him, eyes wide.

“Oh.” She answered dumbly.

“Yeah. It was a mutual thing.”

“Oh.”

She faced Barry more, feeling her heart start to take flight at the news. Gods, she was awful. She was elated over the fact her best friend and his girlfriend had broken up. How much of a low life could she get? Besides, she shouldn’t be in a relationship right now. She had just gotten out of the umbrella, she was no way emotionally ready to surge forward into a relationship like that. It wouldn’t be fair on Barry. She needed time to figure herself out again. 

She took Barry’s hand, tasting vomit as she tried to piece together what she was going to say. She took a deep breath. 

“Barry–”

“I know. You don’t have to say it. You have all the time in the world.” Lup’s face broke into a smile as she tightened the grip on his hand. “I’ll wait for you until the end of time. Even longer than that.”

She wrapped Barry up in a hug. Gods, how did she end up with such a perfect person in her life? She knew now that she was being silly for putting her love aside for the hope of him finding someone to grow old with. She realized that life was too short to push her love aside for so long. Barry was her match and he was hers. She knew that now. And, when they were both ready to take that step together, then she knew that they were going to be the best versions of themselves for the other. She held him tightly, not wanting to let this moment pass. She was safe in his arms and she was so full of love for him. He was the light at the end of the tunnel, her beacon that she would always find her way back to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spent the entire day trying to make sure this got posted today! I did it, Mom. Anyway, thank you all for all of your love for this fic! I feel so lucky to have such wonderful readers such as you all! If there are any mistakes in this, I am so sorry, cha girl pulled an all nighter and didn't have time to proof read anything. Will probably edit everything after I finish this labor of love. That being said, I do have to talk endings, and it pains me to do that! I think I have around one or two more chapters with this fic, and then it'll be all over, so thank you all for your love and support, it has really touched me when I first started this fic and really motivated be to finish! I love you all so much and feel so touched that you love this fic as much as I do (no matter how many crying fests I've had over this thing.)
> 
> I do sort of plan on doing a series of one-shots for this universe because I can't get enough of Barry and Lup and I probably need to seek help **peace signs**
> 
> If y'all want to interact with me follow me on my Tumblr! @moonlightxstars I normally just shit post and talk about how I don't get enough sleep at night, oopsies. If you really want to interact, I'm super active on my twitter @MoonSympathizer I'm a major sad girl over there. If you wanna follow some of my cosplays check me out on my insta @moonlightxstars I barely ever post, but you may catch me crying about making stuff since con season is coming up for me (gotta do at least two costumes for Megacon and doing things I have never done before, help me god)
> 
> That's it, my plugins are done. Catch us next week for maybe the ending for this fic. Haven't decided yet!
> 
> Thank you all so much once again, you all mean the world to me!


	14. Chapter 14

Taako stared at Lup for a while. She had just told him what was going on between her and Barry and he hadn’t said anything for the past five minutes. It made her nervous and caused her to squirm. She had to explain to him why they weren’t together and what they were going to do about it. He had been asking ever since she and Barry had been ultra giggly around each other, and a few more stolen glances at one another that they both recognized this time. They both loved each other. Just knowing that, Lup felt lighter and overall just better. She knew she had to work on things before moving forward, but knowing that they both felt the same way kept her assured. 

“So, you’re waiting until you get some therapy in before going full on in it?” He asked, his hand resting on his chin as she stared at her. She nodded, tugging at her hair just a bit as she met his gaze. She felt a little self-conscious of what Taako would think. She was afraid he was going to not like what she and Barry had mutually agreed on. He had been an advocate for her and Barry’s budding relationship. Had constantly given her pep talks over how she could confess to him. Now, she was telling him that she was waiting even longer. 

In all the stories she had read when she was growing up about love, the two lovers always came together after a traumatic event that made them realize that they would rather be together than have to spend any other time apart again. After going through what she went through, she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to get into a relationship, especially with someone she loved and cared for, and then watch it all fall apart because nothing was solved. The lovers never went anywhere for help, and they end up taking things out on each other. She didn’t want that. Barry meant the world to her and to lose him because she was damaged wasn’t something she wanted. 

Taako nodded, shifting a bit on the bed.

“Okay, yeah. That’s a good idea.”

The comment took her by surprise. Maybe it shouldn’t. Taako  _ would _ want her to be okay before she jumped into a relationship. Especially one with Barry who he cared for as well. 

“Really?” She needed the validation, just to know that he really felt that way as she tugged on her hair a little more. Taako raised his arms up, opening them wide for Lup to come into. She smiled as she moved over to Taako, holding him so closely. She missed this. For ten months she missed out on this, and now it was back and she loved it so much. Taako embraced her, falling back on the bed so they were both lying on it. 

“Yeah, I think that’s the best idea for you right now. I’m glad you two aren’t just nose-diving into it,” he explained, burrowing his face in her hair. “At the same time, I’m a little peeved at Barry. Did he really say that he loved you when he thought you were asleep?”

Lup bursted out laughing, feeling her heart swell. When she heard those words murmured by Barry she felt so elated and so excited. It was obviously different from the other times he had said it. It was tender and meaningful and just so full of love that made her  _ know _ . 

“Yeah. Gods, after so long of him knowing us you’d think he’d know when I’m actually asleep. Takes longer than that.” She smiled, feeling a bit of warmth creep on her cheeks. She tightened her grip on Taako a bit just thinking about Barry and his sweet words to her. She felt Taako stroking her hair a bit, something that she did back as a comfort thing more than anything. One thing in the back of her mind erupted full front. Something that had been irking her for a while now, but was too unsure to bring up to Taako. Lucretia. Where has she been the past few weeks? Granted, it was a couple of months since she came back, Candlenights creeping up again. It was the lack of her sister’s presence that set her off as strange. She had barely said anything to her since she came back, hardly making an appearance. Instead, she’d avoid her altogether, making Lup feel like she hated her.

“I do have to ask, though, Taaks. What’s going on with Creesha?” Taako made a disgruntled noise as he pushed some hair out of his face. 

“Yeah, let’s not talk about her.” Taako’s voice was filled with a strange venom that she had barely heard from him regarding their family. He loved everyone, no matter how many times he tried to deny it. It threw Lup off when she came back. From what she knew about the relationship between Lucretia and Taako, they had been fairly close while they were all living together. Taako had helped Lucretia with her campaign for school president and Lucretia tended to help him frequently with his writings for school when he needed someone to proofread his work. He also got more of the funnier reactions out of Lucretia over the years. So, when Lup had came back and they were no longer talking, she didn’t know what to do. It caught her off-guard, and when Lucretia just so happened to be in the room with Taako, he had made it apparent that he didn’t want to talk to her. 

“What happened?” Lup pressed. Usually she wouldn’t do this. She wouldn’t try to force him to talk about what happened, but this was all too much for her. She felt Lucretia drifting more and more from the family and it scared her. Lucretia was an important part of the family, and to suddenly have her not as present in the family function alarmed her.

“Nothing happened, Lup, drop it. Come on, let’s go make some dinner, cha boy’s hungiee.” He was trying to deter her from thinking something was off. The use of ‘hungiee’ was evidenced enough. They barely used it unless they were really trying to cover up some of their feelings. That was a sign for some serious shit had gone down while she was stuck.

She knew if she pressed again, Taako would probably be trying to keep anger out of his voice so she wouldn’t think he was mad at her. He had been overly cautious over how she felt since she came back which could be a little overbearing sometimes, especially since everyone was doing it to her. She wished that they would just treat her the same way as they always did, but she also knew that they had gone through some serious grief as well. So, instead of pressing on, she untangled herself from her brother’s arms and got out of the new bed, stretching a bit as she did so. They were technically no longer sharing a room with one another, most of Lup’s belongings now downstairs in the guest room. She was still more often up in their old room, though, sharing the bed if the night was bad enough. 

“What’s on the menu tonight, chef?” She asked, trying to sound a little more light-hearted than she felt. She was going to get to the bottom of why Lucretia and Taako were no longer talking. It was important. They all needed to be together.

“I was thinking a ratatouille with some nice bread, chef.” he answered, stretching as well as he got out of the bed. 

“You’ve been watching _Ratatouille_ again?”

“What can I say? I like a good crackle.” Lup chortled a bit at that and rolled her eyes. To be fair, it was a stand up movie with a lot of dishes she wouldn’t mind tackling with Taako one of these days. “Is your lover boy coming over?”

Lup had to resist the urge to pick up a pillow and throwing it at him. Technically, Barry wasn’t her boy  _ yet. _ But, he will be once they were both ready to take that step forward. Barry had said that he would wait for her forever if he had to. Now, Lup didn’t want that to happen, she felt that they had both waited long enough, but the sentiment was there and she felt reassured that they were in no rush. 

“No,  _ Barry _ has to do somethings to get reinstated in the school. Which, speaking of, I gotta change the fact that I’m very much not dead.” She padded her way to the door, not bothering to look at Taako. “What bout you, is  _ your _ lover boy coming over? Would really like to know more about the boy my dearest brother has been shacking up with for near a whole fucking year.”

Lup tutted her tongue. She had gone on and on about her own flesh and blood keeping something so much as a  _ boyfriend  _ a secret from her. After all they had gone through together. She meant it mostly in jest, but after a couple of times of making the joke, she had seen how uncomfortable Taako had gotten. He had told her that he didn’t mean to keep Kravitz a secret, it had just happened. Now, she only made the joke once every so often since Taako told her it was fine if she still made the joke, just not every time Kravitz was mildly brought up.

“Nah, he has some sort of work related thing going on. You know, it’s weird because I can never be sure about this man’s hours. Like, they seem kind of all over the place?” They walked down the stairs together, shoulder to shoulder as they could get on the narrow staircase.

“Huh, weird.”

“Hell yeah it is. I thought he worked the graveyard shift, but then he got a weird call from his boss in the middle of the afternoon. Threw me through a loop.” He waggled his eyebrows at her at the bad wordplay.

“Hahaha, very funny. I’m so glad my dingus of a brother didn’t forget his dearest sister’s name or anything.” 

“Oh, how could I ever forget my sister’s name? Come on,  _ Chalupa _ , give me more credit.” At that, Lup elbowed him in the side, huffing a bit. 

“You know full well that isn’t my full name.” Lup shook her head at him, tutting her tongue as he groaned from where she elbowed him. 

“Lup!” He whined as he rubbed at the spot where she got him. She knew that he knew that he deserved the jab. He tended to always purposely say the wrong name as a small joke to when they were younger. It was initially meant to fuck with people since they always thought she had a full name that wasn’t just ‘Lup.’ Everyone had always questioned what it was short for, which was none of their goddamn business. She was just Lup and that’s all they needed to know. 

“Serves you right, dingus.”

“Still, that hurt!” With that, he elbowed her back which caused Lup to yelp. It was a sharp jab right in her rib. She elbowed him back in retaliation. Thus began a war of jabbing the other with their elbows. Which then escalated to little pushes once they were both safely off the stairs. Magnus sat at the kitchen table working on some wood project. Merle walked in, obviously scavenging for something to eat. He slowed once he saw the twins fighting. 

“Who started it this time?” Merle asked Magnus in a stage whisper. It was meant to evoke one of the twins to defend themselves in an effort to make it seem it was the other. However, neither of them were listening to him, too engrossed in making sure the other got what they thought they deserved. 

“Think it was Taaks this time. Something about a real name?” Magnus answered, not even looking up from his carving. 

“Oh, this argument again. Okay. Know what they’re making?”

“Nope.”

Merle nodded at this, turning to the twins who were now wrestling the other on the couch. 

“Hey, don’t make me get Dav to break this up, you two.” At the mention of that, the twins sprung apart, making it seem that nothing had happened between them. They didn’t really listen to Merle if they were play fighting. Didn’t see the use to. They never got too hurt while doing it, and besides, sometimes Merle even encouraged the rough housing every so often. However, once Davenport got involved with it, yikes. They had play fought once before when Davenport got involved to separate them, and they had felt so guilty over it that every time Dav was brought up as a way to get them to stop it, they immediately did so. “What’s for dinner?”

“You’ll find out, old man.” Taako answered, inspecting his nails for anything broken. 

“Ratatouille.” Lup answered, smoothing her hair down and putting it up in a ponytail to prepare for cooking. Merle just nodded, turning to leave. It was around the time that he went out to water his plants, among  _ other _ things. He stopped when he got closer to the door?

“Are Billy and Kevin coming over?” He asked. Lup had to refrain from smacking her forehead, and she saw from the corner of her eye how Taako did smack his forehead. 

“ _ Barry  _ and  _ Kravitz _ , old man.”

“Is your memory really going that bad? You’ve known Barry for fucking years now!” 

“Touchy. I was just asking, and in case you don’t know, I have to keep up with a lot of names, so forgive me for forgetting.” Merle stated, putting his hands up in defense. He turned to Magnus. “Is Judy coming over?”

“Julia, and no. I’m going over to her house for dinner which is why I have to finish this.” Magnus answered, waving his carving in the air slightly. Merle nodded.

“So, are they coming over or not?” The twins shook their head. 

“Barry’s working on some school things.”

“Kravitz actually has a job.”

Merle nodded, leaving the scene to go outside to do whatever he does with the poor plants. They really didn’t want to know at this point. They had walked in on it once when they were younger and they never again wanted to see it. They really wished they could get it erased from their minds sometimes, though. They both shuddered at the shared thought. No more would they think about that. They both moved to the kitchen and started to get the ingredients out for what they’ll need. 

“We should’ve made the bread earlier, Taaks.” Lup said, looking down at the old recipe for bread that their Auntie had. To be honest, they had the whole thing memorized by now, but it was comforting for the both of them to see her old handwriting telling them what to do and how to do it. It almost felt that she was still there, teaching them how to bake and cook all over again. She could almost feel her auntie’s hands guiding her through making the bread, instructing her softly on what to put in first. 

“Yeah, you’re right about that. Rising is going to be a bitch.” Taako chopped the vegetables up, glancing at the old recipe every so often of what to do. “It’s gonna be a late dinner.”

“I mean, dinner is dinner no matter how late you have it at, as long as you eat it’s fine.” Lup shrugged, remembering some of the words Auntie used to say to them when they were younger. She’d say it whenever the twins were upset over how long it was taking them to cook dinner, not as quick as how their Auntie would do it. She’d tell them that it was fine and that they were still learning. As long as they ate, she was happy, no matter how long it took them to make it.

Taako nodded at that, continuing to chop the vegetables and putting them on the baking sheet with all of the sauce he put on prior and tossing them. 

“Yeah, dinner is dinner.” Taako agreed, running the vegetables through the oil concoction he had on the baking sheet. Lup smiled at him, turning back to the bread to be. Things might not be 100% fine right now, but they will be. Things will be looking up for all of them, they just had to be patient in the long run and withstand anything that was to come. 

oXo

Dinner ended up being much later than either twin anticipated. The bread wouldn’t rise for the longest time, causing them to be behind schedule. The vegetables had been ready for the longest time, Taako having to put them in the oven just to make sure they were kept warm. Still, they had dinner, and with how long it took them to make it tonight, Barry had come over after finishing up what he had to for the school. 

They were nearing the end of dinner, Barry’s hand in hers sneakily under the table (it was quite obvious to Taako that they were holding hands, he kept making faces at them.) When Lup decided to bring up what she’s been wanting to bring up to the whole family for a while now. Now that everyone (minus Magnus) was here, she thought it was as good a time as any. Mama Bluejeans already knew since she talked it over with her first before anyone else. 

“So, I was thinking,” Lup began, squeezing Barry’s hand a bit, feeling the flutters in her stomach arise when he squeezed back. The others had placed their forks down and looked at her expectantly. “I was thinking about going back to school next semester.” 

The forks clattered against the plates. Merle started to cough dramatically as he swallowed a piece of his food the wrong way. He grabbed his water cup and chugged it down to cease the coughing. Davenport raised a bushy eyebrow, his face dripping with concern and doubt. Taako was glaring daggers at her, crossing his arms over his chest and shaking his head. She felt Barry’s hand still and grow a little clammy. Only Lucretia seemed to be unbothered by this, calmly drinking from her own water cup and picking up her fork and eating the remainder of her food. 

“Lup, are you serious?” Taako said between his teeth. She knew that he wasn’t going to be happy with this new development. She knew it was only because he was scared for her safety and that he was afraid something like before would happen again. His anger was really just his panic and fear coming out, but that didn’t stop her from being a little perturbed from his reaction. 

“Of course I’m serious. I want to go back to school and get my degree. It’s really important to me that I do.” She squeezed Barry’s hand once more before taking hers out and crossing his arms over her chest. She should’ve expected these shocked reactions. But, she had made up her mind. She  _ will  _ go back to school and she  _ will  _ be going back next semester. She had a meeting scheduled with her counselor later this week about how she would go about reinstating herself. She had spoken to them on the phone around a month ago just making sure that she could do this. They said it was not a problem, and they didn’t even blame her for what happened. That didn’t mean that she didn’t blame herself, but still, she needed to get better. She needed to  _ be  _ better, and one way to make sure that she was better was by going back to school.

“Yeah, Lup, I understand that, but what about your therapy sessions? You know how you get, you start focusing on things and forget about your health.” Taako accused. 

“I’m still going to therapy, don’t worry. And I’ll be sure to care about my own health as well. Don’t worry.” Lup assured, reaching across the table and taking hold of Taako’s hands. They relaxed considerably once she put her hands on them, and he could see him sag a bit underneath her touch. 

“But is this really a good idea, girly? You’ve only been going for two months. Don’t you think that you need more time?” Merle asked, pinching his eyebrows together, concern gathering at his features. They were all just afraid for her and for good reasons. They were just trying to look out for her and make sure that she was going to be okay and that nothing will happen to her again. 

Davenport nodded, looking at Lup with nothing but care and concern. 

_ ‘Is this really what you want to do?’  _ He asked. Lup nodded, removing her hands from Taako’s.

“ _ Yeah. It’s always been important to me to get my degree, and I’d rather finish what I started now before waiting 200 years and not remembering what I learned _ .” She explained, her hands moving rapidly along with what she was saying. Davenport just nodded, his eyes welling up with pride and love. She knew that he would let her do what she really wanted and he wouldn’t hold her back no matter what. The extra privates for dance even when money was tight was proof enough of that. Her eyes welled up and she smiled at Davenport.  _ ‘Thank you. I love you.’ _

Davenport smiled at her and repeated the last gesture. Merle looked between them and shook his head. It seemed he was in a fatherly mood.

“I just don’t know, I’m still worried about everything that has happened.”

“I think it’s an excellent idea,” Lucretia piped up, setting down her fork and folding her hands on the table as if she were a principal at a school. She steadied her gaze on everyone as she took a deep breath. “I think Lup should go back to school if that’s what she wants.”

“Yeah, I don’t care what you think.” Taako grumbled under his breath. 

“Taako!” Lup warned, kicking him under the table directly in his shin. Taako hissed in pain and then promptly stuck his tongue out like a petulant three year old. 

“It’s true, I don’t care what she thinks. What she thinks is irrelevant!”

“I don’t care if you don’t care what she thinks,  _ I  _ care what she thinks. Gods, what is going on between you two?” Lup collapsed into the chair, exasperated at her brother’s petulance and mean spiritedness towards Lucretia. She still had no idea what was going on and by this point, she was sure whatever it was she didn’t want to know. What could Lucretia have done to evoke such cruelty from Taako?

“It’s fine, Lup, really,” Lucretia put a hand up, avoiding eye contact from Taako. “In fact, on that note of change, I’m thinking about moving out soon. I have enough money saved up to rent a small apartment near the school so I too can go back.” 

Lup felt like she had whiplash going on. Lucretia moving out? Sure, there was a time where they all knew that they had to move out soon, but she didn’t expect Lucretia to be the first to go. She seemed comfortable with her life in the house still, comforted by all the people that she loved and cared for. Now, she was going to be moving out? She had barely had any girl time with her recently, most of the time, Lucretia was avoiding her and now she was moving out? 

“Wait, Creesh, why?” 

“It’s better this way. It’s been getting a little too loud around here and I’ve grown accustomed to being alone. I’ll have a better time making sure that my work gets done.” She explained, totally stone-faced. Something was going on and Lup could feel it. Lucretia didn’t really believe the words she was saying, she knew her well enough to know that. There was a slight twitch in her cheek that gave how she was really feeling all away. She cleared her throat, gathering her dishes up. “I’m afraid this isn’t up for discussion. I’ve already put the down payment on the place and I’m moving out by the end of the week. Thank you for dinner, it was delicious.”

Lucretia stood from her seat, carrying her dishes to the sink. She rinsed them off and promptly put them in the dishwasher before going back upstairs to her room. Lup waited until she heard her door close shut before turning to Taako.

“I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but I’m going to find out. Creesh shouldn’t feel the need to move out.” Lup told him sternly.

“You heard her, she can’t stand how loud it's been getting around here.” Taako waved his hand flippantly, not looking at her.

“You know full well that she was lying.”

“So what if she is? It doesn’t bother me any.”

Lup could feel her blood begin to boil. Lucretia was still a member of this family, how  _ dare _ he. Still, she noticed a slight nervous tap of his fingers against his upper arm, saw him trying to hide that he was biting his cheek. He was all talk. Even though he was mad at Lucretia, he still cared about her.

“Okay, fine. Be that way. I’m going to go check up on her.” She announced, getting up from the table and following Lucretia’s suit of cleaning off her dishes and putting them in the dishwasher. She was halfway up the stairs when she heard Barry’s voice. 

“Oh, uh, Taako, you need help with the dishes?”

oXo

“Come in.” Lucretia’s voice sounded muffled through the door. Lup took a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever came her way before she opened the door. In the room was Lucretia, going around the room packing up whatever she wanted to bring to her new place. Her room had always been kept tidied and minimalist, something Lup sort of envied about her. It wasn’t her fault that she was more of a hoarder when it came to certain items. She had an emotional attachment to the macaroni art she made when she was 6. 

“Hey,” Lup waved her hand even though Lucretia wasn’t paying any attention to her. She had grabbed one of her art easels, folding it up and propping it up against the bed. Lucretia looked, seemingly startled for a split second before a rigid smile appeared on her face.

“Hey,” her voice sounded tight and forced and Lup just wanted to pull her in a hug and say that everything was okay. She didn’t have to worry about anything, she didn’t have to move away. Everything will be fine in due time. She needed to know what was going on first, though, needed to know what had made Lucretia feel so distant from everyone when she was usually so happy being around her family. Lup leaned up against the doorframe, watching as Lucretia once again began to busy herself with moving around her bare room, packing away her paintbrushes neatly in their respective places.

Lup sighed, not liking to be ignored by one of her dearest friends as she watched her bustle about. She quirked an eyebrow at her as she continued to overly busy herself so she didn’t have to pay Lup any mind. 

“Creesh, what’s going on?”

This caused Lucretia to pause for a second, her hand stopping as she was about to put another paint brush away into the organizer that Davenport had gotten for her for Candlenights around five years ago. She still used it and it still seemed it was in prime condition, minus the various paint splatters that decorated it. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” Lucretia responded after a slight uncomfortable pause. It sounded robotic and so out of character for her that Lup’s heart clenched. She loved Lucretia and to see her like this made her want to cry out and demand what was going on. She didn’t want to be kept in the dark anymore. 

“Lucretia, please,” she begged, feeling like her body was about to give out. Her voice broke and she could tell that Lucretia was feeling the separation too. They might not be as close as she and Taako, but Lucretia and her had a special relationship that not even Taako could breech. A relationship between sisters.

Lucretia sagged just a bit, dipping her head down and looking like she was crumbling right before her eyes. Lup rushed over to her, putting her arms around her and coaxing her on the bed. They sat down together as she felt Lucretia’s body begin to shake. Tiny sobs escaped from her as Lup cooed at her, rubbing her back.

“It was all my fault.” Lucretia sobbed, gripping onto Lup’s sleeve. Lup furrowed her eyebrow.

“What was, Creesha dear?” Lucretia took a deep breath, something she did to try and calm herself down, she was still holding onto Lup for dear life and Lup had to bite her cheek from joining her in crying. She hated seeing Lucretia like this.

“You going missing and no one knowing where you were. I know it was. Taako has every right to be blaming me for it, which is why I have to go. I have to because Taako’s going to be hating me forever and I don’t want to–” 

“Lucretia, I’m going to say this and I mean it in the best way possible, but what the fuck?” Lup was trying to process it and it was the one thing that came to mind when she was telling her everything. Lucretia hiccupped, turning her head up to Lup. She gave her a questioning look, confused. 

“What?”

“What I mean to say is, it’s not your fault. I don’t care what Taako thinks at the moment, because I’m pretty sure he’s trying to shift blame from me to you. It wasn’t your fault though.  _ I  _ told you not to tell anyone where I was going.  _ I’m _ the one who ghosted everyone by not answering my stone. I shouldn’t have put that all on you and I’m so sorry for that. I need you to know that it isn’t  _ your _ fault. It’s mine and I’m more than okay to say it was totally on me. Besides, I heard from Barry that you immediately told him when Wave Echo combusted. I’m so sorry for putting that all on you.” Lup placed her head on Lucretia’s holding onto her tight. She heard Lucretia sniffle just a bit before letting out another sob and she burrowed her head into Lup’s chest, crying. Lup rocked her like she would a baby, humming a little bit to her.

“I missed you so much.” Lucretia sobbed, gripping onto Lup’s shirt. Lup stroked her hair, pressing a kiss to her head. 

“I missed you, too, Creesh.” She continued to hum to her until Lucretia’s grip went slack on her and she seemed to have fallen asleep. She wasn’t about to leave her though, she missed out on Lucretia cuddles for far too long. Instead, she laid them both down and fell into a trance next to her. 

It didn’t feel very long when she was broken out of her trance to see Taako looming over her, arms crossed and a frown present. 

“What?” She whispered so she wouldn’t wake Lucretia. For Lucretia’s part, she shifted slightly, nuzzling her head further into the crook of Lup’s shoulder. 

“Are you serious?”

“What do you mean?” Lup was getting tired of her brother’s anger towards Lucretia. It wasn’t justifiable in her eyes. She simply told Lucretia not to tell anyone where she was going and she had kept her promise. It wasn’t Lucretia’s fault for what happened. It was mostly an accident, but more so Lup’s fault since she made Lucretia make that promise in the first place. 

“She’s the reason why you–”

“Nope, nope, nope, Taako. No. She’s not the reason why I went missing. Lucretia just did what  _ I  _ asked her to do. She has no part in what happened to me. Plus, she told you right away when things went awry. You shouldn’t be blaming her. If you want someone to blame, then blame me.” Lup told him, holding onto Lucretia tightly as if to protect her from Taako’s wrath. 

Taako huffed, biting his lip as he looked down at them. 

“I’m still not forgiving her.” He said stubbornly. Lup sighed. If she had a hand that was free, she would pinch the bridge of her nose. 

“Taako.” She was tired of them not getting along, but she knew that Taako won’t change his mind no matter how many times she said that it wasn’t Lucretia fault. He was stubborn and set in his mindset that Lucretia was somehow the villain. 

“Look, fine, I won’t be outwardly mean, but I won’t be friendly with her.” 

Lup just sighed again. She knew that it would take Taako a long time in order to forgive her fully, if he ever did. She just wished that he would actually listen to her when she said it wasn’t Lucretia’s fault at all. Though, she also knew that he was trying to project all his anger on her for leaving without a word. It still didn’t feel right to have it all on Creesha though. 

“Taako.” She warned again. Taako threw his hands up.

“Look, I already told you what I’m doing and I’m not changing my mind. I guess you’re sleeping in here tonight.” He declared, moving to the exit of the room. He turned, expectant of her answer. 

“Yeah, I am. Did Barry leave?”

“Nah, decided to stay the night. He’s downstairs in the guest room.” Taako shrugged before leaving, shutting the door behind him. Lup sighed, suddenly exhausted with everything and everyone. She wrapped Lucretia tighter in her arms and fell back into a trance. 

xOx

Everything seemed to move so fast after Candlenights for Barry. One moment, he was with his friends and family and then the next, he was back at an apartment he was renting with Lup, moving things into his room. Taako had decided to take this semester off and would be going back to school the following year. He said he needed to be at home for a bit.

So, it was Lup and Barry moving in with one another. He didn’t know how he would fare, knowing that Lup felt the same way about him. He assumed it was like how he was spending time with her now. Stolen glances, secretive hand holding that may seem innocent to the outside person. To both of them (and to Taako) it was innocent to an extent, but it also held a promise. One day, they’ll be able to hold each others hands and not let go.

That small promise that they made to each other made Barry’s heart soar under the possibilities. To be with Lup and not having to worry about anything else that may come their way was more than he could ever hope for. Now, he was sharing an apartment with her. Sure, it was for one semester and it was until Taako came in to join them for next year. Still, a whole semester with just Lup? Gods, that was more than he could ever ask for. 

The first day after move in day, Lup popped her head into his room, a soft smile on her face. He couldn’t help but smile back at her, feeling giddy at just the fact that she was here and she was smiling at him.

“Hey, I made some dinner for us tonight. Nothing too special, just some spaghetti with red sauce.” Her smile didn’t disappear from her face, and neither did his. 

“Sounds great!” He enthused a little too vocally. He might be getting too far ahead of himself, but he couldn’t help but be excited. Anything could happen this semester with just the two of them and he was excited to see what could happen. Lup teetered on the balls of her feet a little bit when he didn’t get up right away. Her hair was in a messy bun on top of her head, coming down slightly from the day of work. “You want me to come out now?”

He wasn’t doing anything too important, just organizing some of his books before the semester started. Lup didn’t have to say anything, her smile only grew bigger as he hit what she wanted directly on the head. She giggled just a bit as she nodded. She teetered again on the balls of her feet as she bit her bottom just a bit, almost nervous. He smiled at her and scrambled up to his feet, stretching a bit as he walked towards her. He could almost see the moment in Lup’s eyes when she realized his stomach was exposed for a few seconds. Could see the mischievous glint in her eyes and he knew there was no stopping in what was coming next. 

Suddenly he was hunched over being tickled by her. She did this all the time whenever he exposed his stomach enough for her to hit him right in the spot that got him the most. Had perfected how sneaky she was about it over the years, and perfected defending herself from him tickling her back. Just as he was about to regain his senses over being ruthlessly tickled, Lup took off running like a mad woman back to the shared living space. She was giggling madly as he tried to take off after her, trying to corner her just enough to get her back. 

They played a little game around the couch of Lup taking off in the opposite direction just as he was able to get close to her. Just when he thought he had the smart idea of just climbing over the couch, Lup was one step ahead of him by ditching the couch and going directly into the kitchen. He huffed, already exhausted from their little game, but he could tell that Lup was anything but that. Gods she had more energy than a three year old sometimes. Still, he felt so happy that he was able to do this with Lup and so elated that she was having a fun time like this. 

“Come on, Lu, it’s only fair.” He walked towards her as she pressed herself against the wall of the kitchen. Her cheeks were a little red and her hair was now flopping down to her shoulders. She was laughing full on now, her smile overly contagious. She made no attempt to move which only put him a little on edge. Normally it meant that she was planning something. 

“How so, Bluejeans?” She challenged, a glint in her eyes. Gods, he was so in love with her, and she knew that she had him beat. He stood in front of her, a smirk on her face as she stared up into his eyes. He was lost in hers, almost forgetting what he was doing over here in the first place. “Barry,” she whispered to him softly. He knew that she knew that she had him beat. 

Maybe it was the way he was looking at her, but he saw her exhale dreamily just a little bit as she stared at him. How didn’t he know sooner how she felt about him? It was clear as day now that he was looking at the besotted look on her face. He relaxed upon seeing her, feeling his heart begin to fill up with so much love and adoration for her. He didn’t expect what happened next, maybe it was because he had assumed that she was done with the game, but to Lup, she wasn’t. Next thing he knew, his face was full of sauce and he had a stupid expression on his face.

Lup stifled a laugh as she looked at him. He could only assume what he looked like. He looked at Lup in a mock betrayal, forcing her to cover her smile with her hand. Only to forget that she still had some sauce on her hands, getting it all over her face. Barry burst out laughing when he saw her stunned expression when she realized what she had done. She mocked an offended gasp. 

“Barold J Bluejeans, are you making fun of me?” She asked, her tone seeping into more of a laugh than actual hurt. Barry laughed as he grabbed a napkin from the counter, wiping Lup’s face down with it just a little. She grabbed hold of his hand with the napkin in it, forcing him to stop as she stared up at him once more. She smiled and his heart picked up in its rhythm that he was sure it was going to jump right out of his chest and fit neatly into Lup’s hands. She took her free hand and caressed his cheek just a bit and he felt himself sag beneath the touch, his legs feeling like jelly. 

“I love you,” she whispered to him softly like a prayer or a wish or whatever it was. All he knew was that his brain was going into overdrive and he had to keep from falling on the floor. 

He opened his mouth to repeat the sentiment, only to experience the ultimate betrayal that was his stomach demanding food. They both looked at each other for a second before breaking down laughing right then and there. Lup gripped Barry’s wrist to prevent from falling roughly on the ground while Barry did his best to keep her upright in the midst of his laughing. Yeah. This was going to be a good semester alone with Lup.

oXo

They were about three months into the new semester and Barry could feel that the time he had off was taking a toll on him. It had definitely taken a long time to be fully back in the swing of things, and the first few months back in class, he was relying on the adrenaline of being back alone. Now that he was settling back into the routine, he could feel his body begin to ache as an oncoming cold started to sink its dirty claws in. That couldn’t be good. 

Lup had been sick the week prior, but she kept assuring him it was a minor cold that did turn into a full on stomach bug. He had stayed by her bedside making sure she was okay, cleaning out the bowl she threw up in and making sure she still got her fluids in. Now, it seemed Barry was beginning to get the same bug just as Lup was finishing out hers. 

“Hey,” Lup sniffled, her nose still congested and sounding nasally. Her hair was up in a bun like it was for the past week and her glasses were slightly askew on her face. Now that was a shock to Barry. He didn’t even know that Lup had glasses until a few months ago when she casually said she needed new glasses after her old ones were lost in the fire. She had also mentioned that she needed new contacts since her old ones were obviously gone.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” He asked, rising up from his bed to walk her back to her bed so she could rest. She wrapped her blanket tighter around her as she shook her head. 

“Nah, I’m going to class like this. Can’t miss anymore, only so many days I can miss, ya know. Also, I high key have a therapy session today.”

“Don’t tell me you’re  _ driving _ to your therapy session when you’re still sick, Lu.” Lup waved him off, pulling the blanket tighter. 

“Babe, I’ll be fine, honest. It’s a short drive!” She argued, leaning up against the door frame. Barry shook his head. He may have the oncoming of a sickness coming, but it was better than Lup’s ending of a sickness. She couldn’t drive like that and she knew it. 

“Yeah, I don’t think so. I can’t stop you from going to class, but I can stop you from driving and have me drive you in insead.” Lup began to shake her head, making her way towards Barry. 

“Bear, I can’t ask you to do that. Trust me, I’ll be fine”

“Lup, I do trust you, it’s just I don’t want you to potentially endanger yourself. Let me do this, okay?” Lup sighed at this and then met his gaze, a soft smile appearing on her face.

“Okay, yeah, seems lit. When I come back from class we can go, okay?” Barry nodded and Lup once again smiled at him, walking over to him and pressing a kiss on his forehead. “Thank you, Bear. I’ll see you after class, kay?”

“See you after class.”

After Lup left for class, Barry felt his health go from around 78% right down to 43% in the matter of seconds. Suddenly, he was shivering and feeling hot all over. He took a deep breath. It was going to be fine. He can still drive Lup to her therapy session because she  _ wanted  _ to go which was good. He was still going to therapy every other week and it was still going well for him. 

He decided to take a nap. Maybe that way he can fight off whatever bug was ailing him. If he slept some of it off it could help. He hadn’t really been sleeping very well, deciding to instead study instead of sleeping. Also, he was taking care of Lup throughout the night instead of sleeping. It was against Lup’s will, her always telling him to sleep, saying how important it is for humans to sleep. He ignored her protest, especially when she then threw up into the bowl he brought her, Barry holding back her hair as she retched into the bowl. He rubbed circles into her back, making sure she felt as comforted as possible. 

He felt that he was only asleep for a second before he felt a pair of cold lips on his forehead. He startled awake at that, nearly jumping out of bed. 

“What happened?” He asked, not knowing entirely where he was for a second. He heard a tut as a pair of cold hands pressed against his forehead and a sigh. 

“Yeah, you’re not going anywhere today. Stay in bed, I’m making you some chicken noodle soup.” Lup said, pressing him back in the bed and throwing more blankets on him. 

“Lup, no, you have therapy–”

“Yeah and my therapist said I’ve been making good progress. I’ll just reschedule a session later in the week when you’re feeling better, babe. Now, relax. I’m getting you a bowl to throw up in and a bowl of soup, okay?” She pressed a kiss onto his head before leaving again into the kitchen. He laid down fully on the bed again, sighing against how his stomach was churning uncomfortably. He really hoped Lup would hurry with that bowl before he unleashed it all over the carpet.

Lup came in again just as he started to dry heave, moving himself over the side of the bed.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Lup said hurriedly, rushing to sit down on the bed so she would catch whatever was going to come out. 

He heaved into the bowl, feeling tears start to gather in his eyes as his body panicked for air. Gods, he hated this. Lup stroked his hair as he continued to heave. 

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” Lup coaxed, comforting him the best she could. When he finally finished, he laid back down again breathless. He felt sweaty and his mouth tasted rancid. Lup put the bowl down for a second, tucking him into his blankets once again. 

“I don’t think food is a good idea right now. I’ll get you some water and gatorade though.” She promised, taking the bowl up again and carrying it out to get cleaned. Gods, he really was doing this to her while she was still sick. Why did he have to get sick now? Why couldn’t it have waited until never? He didn’t have time for this, he had a test this week.

Lup came back with a water and gatorade, propping him up and making sure he took small sips of each so to not upset his stomach. She also brought in some medicine, forcing it down his throat even though he hated the stuff. She set both bottles down and caressed his face lovingly, smiling softly. 

“My how the tables have turned.” She joked, nestling next to him on the bed. She laid beside him, stroking his face lovingly. 

“Lup, I’m gross and sick!” He groaned. He really didn’t want her to be put out by taking care of him like this. 

“So was I, Bear, and where were you? Right beside me the entire time. Now it’s my turn to take care of you.” She booped his nose a bit before shifting to be on the inside so he could have easy access to the bowl in case his stomach once again betrayed him. She snuggled closer to him, nuzzling her head into his back. He really didn’t think he could be more in love with her, but there he was, growing more in love with her. 

Maybe with Lup beside him he’ll be able to get to sleep easier, and in doing so, better quicker. He sighed contently as he closed his eyes, falling asleep to Lup playing with his hair. Yeah, even with this sickness, nothing could beat this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hi, what's up, I'm actually writing fluff like how I promised in the beginning how this fic was gonna play out. I did it, Mom. 
> 
> Anyway! Surprise, this is not the end! I decided on one more chapter because I have no self control *peace signs.* I also wanted to write some fluff before I ended things and this is what came up, also I'm in love with Lucretia, but that's nothing new. 
> 
> I'm so sorry I haven't been replying to comments from the last chapter, I'm the absolute worst and will be making up for that shortly when I have the time!
> 
> Just so y'all are aware, I am in my colleges production of A Midsummer Night's Dream where I'll be portraying Helena! I'm super excited about that and the potential pretty dress I'll be wearing. Y'all, is it proof enough that I'm a theatre major? Save me. 
> 
> Little plugins! If you want to follow me on Tumblr, I'm @MoonlightxStars. I'm posting a lot of pictures of my cats and by a lot I mean the last two days I shared two cat photos. If you wanna see my (7, Jesus) animals, go follow me on there. I also sometimes post cosplay progress on there and scream into the void. I also scream into the void on twitter @MoonSympathizer. You'll get quality content like how I hemmed the raw edges of my skirt on the wrong side and how I can't replicate one of my sleeves *peace signs.*
> 
> That's it for my plugins! Thank you all so much for all of your love and support with this fic, and I can't wait to deliver the finale (whoops, this time for sure) next week! See y'all then!
> 
> (Also, if any of you want the link to my playlist I listen to while writing this, tell me! I'll send it right over so you can all see what sort of sad girl I am.)


	15. Chapter 15

The wind was biting into her cheeks, numbing her nose, stinging her eyes with whiplash. The air stung her lungs with an uncomfortable sharpness, but she couldn’t careless. She had to get this idea across and  _ fast. _ Her music professor had given her the best news she could’ve ever hoped for, and if she wanted to pull this off, she had to get to practicing now. It was later in the first semester, finals coming up way too quickly, and after busting her ass last spring and even taking extra summer classes, Lup was on track to graduate in Spring. Which, yeah, that was great and everything, but what she was really excited for was the hope of a spring concert.

She already knew she was taking music next semester. It was a great outlet for her to put a lot of her pent up fears and reservations into. Her therapist had applauded her for taking it up and utilizing it for those purposes. In the earlier sessions, if she was having a hard time expressing what she was feeling and how it was affecting her, she would bring in her trusty violin to hash it out. Things seemed to come out easier after that. 

After a full year of therapy though, Lup had never felt better. She seemed lighter, like a weight was off her shoulders. She still got anxious in cramped dark spaces, but she had the tools she needed in order to ease those anxieties so she could continue on her day. 

She thought about going to the labs. Maybe he would be there for some extra study time. With exams coming up, Lup thought that maybe she should also be in the labs getting in some extra practice and study time in. It was Friday, though, and the labs were closed early. He also wouldn’t be in the library today due to it being a bit more populous than usual on Fridays. He would be at home. He would be at  _ their  _ home. 

Thinking about that made her giddy. They were testing things out still, after last semester alone together, they had gotten exceptionally closer and it was hard to ease up on the giddiness of it all when they went back home for the summer. It wasn’t anything so extraordinary. Casual touches here and there around the kitchen. Lup teaching him how to properly hold a knife and teaching him basic recipes. How to work around the kitchen in general than making just Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, to which she really didn’t mind. As gross as the fake ass powdered cheese was, it was still a guilty pleasure. It was a comfort food in many ways since none of their relatives before Auntie actually knew how to provide for them. She and Taako ate that stuff so often, but even then she didn’t tire from it. 

The good news about them spending an entire semester together was that they  _ talked. _ They talked about their feelings for one another and hit the tip of the iceberg about a lot of things. Lup still didn’t confess how long she’s been harboring these feelings for him, sure to be embarrassed once he realized that she’s been in love with him since the seventh grade. She was sure he would tease her about it if he were to find out. He also didn’t confess how long he’s loved her for and she wouldn’t push him on it if he didn’t push her on it. It was the little things. They were talking about it more which was more than they had ever done. As long as they were talking about it they were good. 

Still, the giddiness and the sheepishness they would share with one another when they were back at Merle’s house if one of them “accidentally” brushed their hands over the other’s was overwhelming. She also knew that it got on Taako’s last nerve if he were to catch them doing it. It had also gotten to the point during the summer that they were always with one another. If Barry was at his house, then so was Lup and vice versa. They normally slept in the same bed at this point. They would have to wake up early in the morning to creep back to where they were supposed to be in case Merle or Davenport were going around making rounds to check if everyone was accounted for. They had started up that again once Lup had come back, just to make sure everyone was fine. 

Mama Bluejeans kept giving looks if she would catch them holding each other’s hands. It was completely normal for them to hold hands with one another, they’ve been doing it since they were kids. But, it was slightly different. Barry had this thing where he would caress her knuckle with the pad of his thumb. Every time he did that, Lup swore she was going to melt.

Which was why she needed to find him. She needed to ask him if he was willing to do a duet with her. This was going to be it. This was how she was going to tell Barry that she was ready. She  _ wanted _ to move forward with him and be with him. She didn’t want to wait anymore, she just wanted to be with him. Which, granted, she could probably just tell him that she was ready to be with him right now instead of waiting until the end of spring semester. However, that felt anti-climatic. If she were to just tell Barry that she wanted to date him it would feel so lackluster to her. Barry didn’t deserve a lackluster confession like that. He deserved her  _ telling  _ him. With music. With something they had always wanted to do since they were in middle school. Besides, she’s loved him for 15 years now. She could wait another few months. She was more than patient enough to do that for him. 

She sprinted to her apartment building, barely registering the sharp pain in her lungs and the way her fingers were going to be ice cold for an hour or two. That’ll suck when she’ll have to prep for dinner. Lup knew she didn’t have to wrestle for her keys buried in her purse somewhere because they never locked their door anyway. Didn’t feel the need to lock it. If people really wanted to steal from them, then good luck.

She stormed into the apartment, throwing open the door roughly, hearing it crash into the soft padded wall. They had Magnus-proofed the apartment when they had moved into it together. 

“You know, sometimes people actually walk through the threshold of their dwelling with a more dignified air, sister dear.” Taako didn’t even flinch at her entrance, just calmly sat at the kitchen table flipping through the textbook he was studying. He had taken summer classes with her and taking even more classes this semester just to be sure that they would graduate with each other. Apparently he was right on track, but Lup still worried about his burnout. Right now though, she wasn’t worried about that for once.

“Where’s Barry?”

“Hi, yeah my day was great. Stunned everyone with how fucking great I am with any high level spells. My professor basically said I passed the class and didn’t need to come into the final exam because I’m  _ that _ great. So glad that my dearest little sister cares about how I’m doing. How was your day, Lulu?” Lup whipped her head back at Taako groaning indignantly. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to know what Taako was doing and how his day was going, but right now she had a plan and she needed to execute it. 

“That’s great and everything Taako, and I will definitely talk to you more about all of that after my convo with Bear. Where is he, you know?” She ignored the little tidbit about him calling her his little sister. She might’ve been born second, but she was sure that it was only because Taako pushed her out of the way because he was that impatient. Taako sighed dramatically, draping himself against the back of his chair as he put a hand on his forehead. 

“Alas, my goofus of a sister is once again ditching her poor ailing brother as he studies for this dumb math test. Who even needs this math anymore? Not me, math sucks, it changes all the time. I’m gonna be a renowned chef. The only math I need are measurements, and the jury’s still out on that one, by the way. Maybe I need it for transmutation? No, because I’m already a bomb ass transmutation wizard. So, why must I–”

“Taako.”

“Fine. Let me wallow in numbers and shit. Barry’s in his room–your room? You two are totes sharing now, I know that, no need to deny, Taako knows.” Lup could feel her cheeks heat up at that. They tended to swap rooms at this point, whichever one was more convenient. Sometimes they would stay up all night talking in Lup’s room and crash there, other times they would be caught up with something school related and crash in Barry’s. She didn’t see the problem in it, and there wasn’t an ulterior motive behind it. Besides, it wasn’t Taako’s business. Lup doesn’t talk about how he shares a room with Kravitz. 

“It’s still Barry’s room.” She said a little too quickly. She bit her tongue as she screamed in her head at the look Taako was giving her. “Anyway, have fun with your numbers. I’m sure Kravitz will be home soon to help you ‘study.’” Lup retreated quickly after that, hearing an undignified noise from Taako and the sound of a rubber eraser hitting the wall, narrowly missing her. She ran into Barry’s room, closing the door quickly laughing just a bit. 

“You okay?” It sounded like Barry was trying to hide his amusement by their shenanigans, something that had Lup smiling as she turned around to face him. He was sitting at his desk, a textbook propped open and his laptop showing an outline for banned necromantic rituals for his class. Lup always thought it was funny that they were still being taught banned rituals. It was definitely a sure way for disaster, especially if some students were curious over why they were so banned in the first place. Some things were banned for obvious reasons, like becoming a lich. Obviously, that was banned. But some were banned because it was just too creepy or too complicated to do. This class was designed to steer people away from them and Barry had spent most of the semester ranting over how the whole class was just a warning about not becoming a lich.

“Yeah, Taako’s just being Taako.” She waved a little at that. The real reason why she was in here caught up to her, making her start jumping on the tips of her toes, a smile barely contained. “Anyway, Bear, you signed up for music next semester?” 

Barry chuckled a little at her enthusiasm, Lup catching the way his eyes lit up and softened when looking at her. She could feel a dopey smile start to form as she continued to look at him. He was just so good.

“Nah. I can’t manage it next semester. One of my old professors asked if I could TA their class and from the looks of it, it’s going to eat up most of my time.” Barry said, scrubbing his hands down his face. Lup would be lying if she didn’t feel her heart go to the pit of her stomach. Finally the professor was allowing them to have solos pieces and duets, and she finally thought that maybe this was the time. It was fine. This was fine, Barry was busy, they could always talk about them being together some other time. “Why?”

Now, she could lie and say it was nothing, but she really didn’t want to do that. Barry would be able to see right through her and she didn’t want him to feel that she was keeping things from him again. He’d only get anxious.

“Eh, the music professor was allowing solos and duets next semester for the Legato concert. Thought I could interest you in doing a duet together.” Lup tried to shrug it off like it was no big deal, but she could see the fight in Barry’s eyes. He was considering something as he drummed his fingers against his thigh.

“Do we have to be signed up for the class to participate? Like if you were signed up and asked me to accompany you, would that be allowed?” He asked and Lup could feel her heart begin to pick up. He wanted to do this. He wanted to perform with her. 

“I don’t see why not.” Lup was barely containing her smile. She could see Barry matching her in the sentiment, making her crack from it all. She let out a shrill squeal, launching herself at Barry for a hug. He caught her with ease, knowing her well enough to know exactly when she’d launch herself at him. He wrapped her in his arms tightly and suddenly everything in the world felt right. She nuzzled her head into the crook of Barry’s shoulder, feeling his sharp intake of air as he began to rub circles into her back. 

“You wanna know what song I was thinking about?” She asked, tightening her hold on him. She felt Barry’s slight chuckle reverberate through her whole body and she couldn’t help but try to snuggle in closer to him. She just couldn’t help it. She felt so safe in his arms, like nothing could harm her. Her love for him was so outpouring for him, that she was sure that he knew exactly just how she felt about him and how much she cared and respected him. 

She felt him kiss her head and a hum from his chest.

“I have an idea.” He mumbled into her hair. After a moment of pause, he started to hum. It was a familiar part, one that she had listened to a lot when she was researching the song. Listening to the different variations of the song, wondering how she would pull it off like the rest of the players of such a beautiful song. Except, it wasn’t the part she knew well, the part she could play in her sleep. Instead, it was the accompanying line. She sighed contently, closing her eyes to his chest reverberating the line. It got to a part where she finally joined in with her line and she could feel Barry tighten his grip on her. 

She could get used to this. Actually, she was used to this. She was ready for this to be a daily occurence. Her in his arms, snuggling with him as they hummed a song that she’s had in mind since senior year. 

She was content. 

xOx

Barry was on cloud nine if he was being honest. He had been rehearsing with Lup, finally putting together the piece they had been wanting to do for so long, and he had never felt so alive. The first few rehearsals were rough. Neither she nor him had looked at the sheet music all the much for more or less a year. They had laughed at their mistakes with one another. When Lup’s string popped mid playthrough with no warning, they had stared at one another stunned before cry laughing at the mishap. They hadn’t been able to come down after that and ended up just talking to one another about nothing really.

He loved that he was able to talk to her like this. He was speaking so freely and the smile on his face was so easy. Lup just made everything easy. She was so easy to love and she very much reinvented him. He often wondered where he would be without her, and he had been without her before. During the years she was gone back when he was younger, his social life went right down the toilet. Sure, he had people interested in being friends with him because he had been friends with Taako and Lup. That had to mean something. Taako and Lup didn’t just hang out with just anyone. If he was friends with Taako and Lup then there must be something interesting about him. Why else would the twins spend most of their time with him? Except, the kids all left before they even got to know him. They thought he was too boring, too sheepish, and all together uncool. Why would the twins ever spend time with him? It started going around that they had left because they didn’t want to hurt Barry’s feelings by simply telling him they didn’t want to be friends anymore. That he was the reason why they left. 

If they could see him now. He was in a practice room with Lup, howling with laughter. Lup’s bow had been begging for rosin, causing an unpleasant shriek of her strings which caused Barry to play the wrong note. Lup had sworn under her breath, looking at her bow as if it had committed a massive crime. To be fair, it had. How dare it need more rosin when they were midway through the song, having gone far enough that they both thought they would finally finish the piece without stopping for the first time. Then, they made eye contact with one another and all bets were off. They had started to laugh rigorously over their misfortune and mistakes. Lup slid down the padded wall, violin safely in her arms as she laughed. Tears ran down her face and Barry couldn’t help but join in with the same enthusiasm, his head in his knees as he laughed. His stomach was aching, but he couldn’t careless. He was delirious and so in love with the woman in front of him.

“Oh fuck, I think we’re done for the night,” Lup said, laughing still so contagiously. Barry nodded, not trusting himself to speak in case all that would come out would be more laughing. He was still laughing when she was done packing up her violin, nudging him with her foot. “Ready?”

He once again nodded, looking at Lup like she had placed the moon in the sky. She was just so radiant. How couldn’t he love her? She smiled at him, and that smile, gods that smile, sobered him right up. She reached her hand out to him, and he greedily took hold of it. He jokingly pressed her knuckles to his lips which got a breathy laugh from her. She squeezed his hand and he squeezed back and suddenly, they were leaving the practice room hand in hand, Lup pressed up against him as close as she could be that wouldn’t get in the way of their walking. 

“Candlenights is coming up soon.” She put her head on his shoulder with ease and he couldn’t help the bright smile forming on his face, nor how his cheeks felt like they were going to catch on fire. 

“Yeah,” it sounded so dumb, but he couldn’t help but agree with her. “So are exams.” Why did he have to bring up exams? 

Lup was apparently feeling that mood because she groaned, pressing her forehead to Barry’s shoulder before kissing it softly. 

“Why did you have to bring up exams, babe?” She bemoaned, resting her head again on his shoulder correctly. He chuckled at that, resting his head on hers for just a moment so he wouldn’t fall and bring them both down to the ground. 

“Because exams are before Candlenights?”

“Nerd. Yeah, so Candlenights. Where are we celebrating it? Because I’m down on spending it over at Mama’s house since I missed out last year.” How she said it was so casual that it took Barry off-guard for a second. He barely remembered last Candlenights. It seemed so far removed from him that it almost seemed like it happened to someone else. What happened last Candlenights? It was mostly somber. That’s what he could remember. After an hour or so of trying to be festive, they had put on a movie so none of them had to stare awkwardly at one another. Barry left 15 minutes into the movie and went straight to bed. He didn’t have the energy anymore to do anything else. 

To have a redo of last Candlenights seemed in good taste for the most part. In fact, he would love a redo. He was going to go shopping when they all got back, having saved some money from his job in order to afford something a little more special for Lup than just their classic gag gifts. Especially now that they were performing together, it would be nice to give her something that she could wear to the performance. It would be something simple, but hopefully something nice for her to wear. A pair of earrings maybe? She’s been looking for earrings recently, so maybe. 

“Bear?” 

He was brought back to her suddenly, her eyebrows pinching together just a bit. 

“You okay?” He smiled warmly at her, feeling his heart feel so light and so full of love and joy for her. 

“Never been better,” he answered truthfully, giving her hand a little squeeze. She reciprocated the squeeze fervently, lacing their fingers together that had his stomach flipping and jumping for joy. They might not be dating officially yet, but he had never felt so lucky. Just knowing that Lup was indeed in love with him and will always love him made him feel like he won the lottery. 

Loving Lup was just so easy for him. He felt like he was born to love her. If soulmates did exist, then there was no doubt in his mind that Lup was in fact his soulmate, and to know that she shared that with him. Gods, he was the luckiest guy in the whole world. No, he was the luckiest guy in all possible planes and dimensions. He wondered what other iterations of Barry were up to. He wondered if they were as lucky as he was. Hopefully, they had all found their Lup’s and gotten together with her already. He hoped they were a little less dense than him.

“What do you think Taako has on the menu tonight? I’m starving.” Lup announced, sighing a bit. Barry chuckled at her and shook his head. 

“You know that he’ll want you to cook tonight. It sounded like Kravitz actually had a day off from his job. Where does he work anyway? He’s always super cagey every time I bring it up.”

“Hell if I know. Also, I don’t care if Kravitz finally has for sure a night off, Taako has made me cook for the past two nights now. Granted, I love cooking, but we’re supposed to be a team, ya know? Just find it rude that he left me to the dogs the past two days because he was having date night.” Lup ranted, tightening her hold on Barry’s hand. “Sorry that Kravitz had to bail two nights in a row.”

“He’s just trying to make time for his boy.” Barry softly squeezed her hand to let her know to ease up on the pressure. She took a deep breath in and slowly released it, loosening her grip. 

“You gotta point there. Still sucks.” He hummed in agreement, pressing a kiss on Lup’s head. 

“I can help with dinner if you like,” he offered. Lup seemed to perk up at that. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, I’m nowhere near you or Taako’s level, but I do now know how to not burn water. All thanks to the most beautiful girl in the world.” Lup hummed at that, pressing closer to his side. 

“Love that,” she sighed just a bit, a slight giggle escaping from her. 

“What?”

“Just thinking about how dumb we are” She smirked up at him, eyes glinting in the dim light of the street lamps. 

“Yeah, we are the smartest dumbasses, aren’t we?”

“Oh for sure, babe. For fucking sure.” They walked comfortably in silence after that, making faces to one another that they assumed no one would notice as they walked passed them back to their apartment. Even if they could decipher what they were telling one another with their eyes, so what? They were in love, and if anyone felt disgusted by that then...oops? Sorry about that. He was just with the most gorgeous lady in the universe, he couldn’t help it.

xOx

With Candlenights now in full swing, Barry couldn’t help but feel slightly overwhelmed. He knew that his family was loud, he was friends with Magnus for gods sake, being loud came with the territory of joining the family. Still, he couldn’t help but feel hyper aware of everyone bustling around Ma’s small kitchen. Taako and Lup had taken up most of the work in the kitchen, making the most delicious of smells that graced the entire downstairs of the house. Ma was running around making sure everyone was comfortable, had something to drink, or was checking in with Lup and Taako to see if they needed anything at all. 

Maybe he was aware because he hadn’t had a lot of time with Lup alone. Since she got here at 10 am with her cooler, she had been in the kitchen with Taako. It was around 2 now and dinner was being served at around 3. That was what they had said after all. His pocket burned with the gift he had gotten Lup just a few days ago. He thought they were pretty, but now he was starting to worry that they weren’t and his taste was totally off base. He knew that she wouldn’t laugh at him for it. She would tell him that she loved them even if it was a lie and then probably never wear them. That was the worst option. He’d prefer it if she just laughed at it and him and ruffle his hair like a child. 

Maybe if she really hated them then she would only wear them around him to make him feel better. That seemed like the right option for her in case she did hate them. Oh gods, she was going to hate his gift to her. Well, he still had the gag gift if everything went to shit. He sort of didn’t want to be in front of everyone though when he gave her the gift, though. It’d be awkward if she had to force a smile to hide her disappointment. Gods, she was going to hate this gift and he fucked up. He should’ve just stuck with a gag gift this year. 

At the table with him, drumming his fingers on the table was Kravitz. He seemed to be in a state of shock and very out of place with everything going on. Now that he thought of it, this was Kravitz’s first holiday with everyone. The poor guy probably didn’t even know what he had gotten himself into. His eyes would dart to the kitchen every time the door would open, hoping to catch Taako’s eye from the looks of it. Every time it wasn’t Taako, he seemed to deflate and go back to finger drumming, looking around anxiously like he didn’t know what to do. 

To be fair, when Barry had first met everyone else, he also didn’t know what to do. He was overwhelmed by how boisterous Magnus was and was immediately looking to Lup and Taako for help. Taako unhelpfully shrugged at him while Lup squeezed his shoulder and told him to take a deep breath and join in. It was scary at first, but no one there was going to judge him. 

_ “And if they do, I’ll just beat them up for you.” _

She had winked at him that day and he was sure nothing in the world could top that. Lup winking at him? Gods, that was the best day of his 12 year old life. 

So, he understood where Kravitz was coming from. He was trying to get assurance by the one he knew the best, but the one he knew the best was currently out cooking the entire neighborhood. Any extra food they had they rationed off, and then the leftovers from that would go to homeless shelters. Barry had been doing that with his Ma for years and to welcome everyone else into the little tradition always felt nice to him. He loved including Lup–and everyone else–in his little tradition that he had since he was small.

“I think they need two pairs of eyes in there to judge. By the sounds of it, Merle’s trying to cheat again.” Barry spoke up, catching Kravitz’s attention. Kravitz pinched his eyebrows together, obviously confused over the predicament he had caught himself in. Even with living with Kravitz for a semester, he barely knew the guy. His job kept him out of the apartment for the most part, making Barry forget that they had a fourth roommate to begin with. Anytime Kravitz did appear and had a full day off, it always catches Barry by surprise. Especially since he manages to always appear out of thin air for the most part. 

“How do you cheat at charades?” Kravitz asked, pure astonishment in his voice. Barry shrugged, he also didn’t know how to cheat at charades himself, but he wouldn’t put it past Merle to know exactly how to cheat. He was more than likely in cahoots with Davenport and they could just mind message each other the answer. Someone had to be there to dispel it.

“They’ve been doing it since we were kids. We only just started to catch on that they were cheating, though, so that’s on us.” Barry stood from his seat just as the kitchen door opened again. Lup came out holding a bowl of what looked to be mashed potatoes. They both stopped upon seeing each other, smiling dopily at one another like Kravitz wasn’t a few paces away. Lup shifted the bowl slightly as she tucked a strand of stubborn hair behind her ear. 

“You stopping Merle and Davenport from cheating?” She grinned at him infectiously and oh gods did his heart kick it into high gear. Why was he acting like such a middle schooler right now? Gods, this was embarrassing.

“Yeah, someone has to teach the old men that they can’t get us anymore.” He noticed her shift the bowl of potatoes again. “You need help in there? Because I could take things to the table as you finish them. Will save you the hassle of stopping and starting again.”

“Nah, I got it, I appreciate the offer, though. Taako’s basically taken over the entire thing which sucks because he’s going to ruin the sauces.” She said the last few words loudly enough to have Taako hear her. The sound of something hitting the door was proof enough that he did hear and didn’t appreciate what she said. She laughed, moving the bowl of mashed potatoes to the table and settling it down gently. “I should probably get back in there though. He may have taken over dinner, but cha girl is still doing desserts.”

“Ah, a Lup specialty.” He smiled, feeling so much better than before.

“Natch, babe.” She turned to go back into the kitchen, but then stopped suddenly and turned back around to face him. “Hey, Barry?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you mind if we go into your room later? Like after festivities and what not?” Barry felt everything shut down for a moment before starting back up again. His brain hyper fixated on Lup wanting to go to his room. Sure, they had done it before. Lup had been in his room tons of times before, this was nothing new. Still, it felt new. Her tone felt different, she was hiding something it seemed like. Was she going to tell him she’d rather remain as friends? That she thought about it for a year and suddenly lost all feelings for him? She was probably letting him down easy in his room away from everyone so she could give him privacy to cry over it. Gods, did he really think that lowly of Lup’s feelings for him? 

He cleared his throat, trying to shake the dread off of him. He could feel that his face had probably lost all color and from the look on Lup’s face, he was right. Her eyes went wide and she was waving her hands frantically. 

“No, Barry, get that thought out of your head, it isn’t anything like that. I just–can we though?” Relief flooded through him and he felt once again secure. He really had to stop thinking that there was no way that Lup could love him. She obviously did, why should he feel so anxious about it?

“Y-yeah, we can.” He mustered out. Lup smiled warmly at him again before retreating back into the kitchen with a flick of her long pony-tail. He turned to Kravitz who was looking like he was trying to hold back from laughing. “What?”

“It’s just as Taako said. You two are absolutely hopeless.” He laughed, shaking his head. He walked to where the rest of the party was, leaving Barry gaping around like a fish once more. Gods, he had to change up his facial expressions. 

All throughout dinner Barry was anxious. He kept jiggling his leg up and down trying to decipher what Lup could possibly want to do in his room. If it wasn’t confessing that she was no longer in love with him, then what could it be? Chatter was light during dinner, but he couldn’t focus on it no matter how hard he tried. He was trying to figure things out and he was afraid that he was reading everything all wrong again. She said it wasn’t anything like  _ that _ but he couldn’t help but think it was. She was trying to soften the blow, right? 

Gag gifts rolled around, and Barry just felt anxious all over again. All the sentimental gifts were handled in the morning, while more fun gifts were handled towards the end of the night just so everyone could get in a last laugh if everything else went to complete shit. Lup had just opened a present from Taako, a shirt that had ‘Queen’ written across with bold red lettering. 

“Jokes on you because I am absolutely wearing this shirt everywhere I go.” Lup announced, already putting it on over her ugly Candlenights sweater that Ma had gotten her. 

“Lup, it’s so fucking tacky, I got it because I thought you would burn it right away!” Taako protested, falling back dramatically on the floor. 

“Which is why I’m keeping it and wearing it every chance I can get. This is gold, Taaks, and I absolutely love it.” Lup cackled a bit, smoothing down her new favorite shirt. “Anyway, Creesh, think fast!”

Instead of pelting it at Lucretia like how Lup had been doing presents this year, she softly tossed the present to her. Lucretia had been quiet for most of the night, steering clear from Taako at all times. It seemed though he pushed aside his differences just for tonight, though, because he had gotten her something for Candlenights. It was a simple blue scarf that Taako waved off as having in his closet for far too long and it seemed like it was in Lucretia’s taste. Barry sort of knew better, there was no way he had gotten that from his closet. He shopped specifically for her. 

“Careful, it’s high key breakable, babes.”

Lucretia nodded, opening the present carefully and making sure not to rip the wrapping paper as she preferred it. She saved the paper for art purposes, apparently. She pulled out a box and on the box was a mug. 

“Madame Director.” Lucretia said aloud. “Lup–”

“I mean, I heard that you got the job with that journalism company, and like, I know that you’re going to be on top in no time. You’ll probably open up your own company, so why not speak it into the universe, right?” Lup explained, clutching her shirt just a bit. “I know these gifts are supposed to be funny, but like, it’s still a mug.”

Lucretia nodded, caressing the box just a bit.

“I love it, thank you, Lup, really.” Lucretia smiled at her which caused Lup to go over to her and give her a hug. She kissed Lucretia’s temple. Barry smiled softly. Of course Lup would still love Lucretia. They were sisters after all and no one could break that bond, even if it was Taako. But still, Taako seemed to be softening a bit on her. He only scoffed softly when he saw Lup go over to her after all. 

“Wow, Lu, way to get all mushy.” Taako said, crawling into Kravitz’s lap who looked a little bewildered with everything happening. 

Gag gifts after that went as usual. Magnus gave everyone his famous ducks again. They were looking better than ever, especially since he started his new trades school. Barry was gifted with a whole bunch of jean things again. Even his duck had something to do with denim. He had laughed when he got a jean scarf from Taako and a jean beanie from Lup. 

“Finally, you’re a fashion icon, Barold!”

After that, everything seemed to calm down. They all settled down in front of the TV, absolutely stuffed from the tarte Lup had made for dessert. They sipped on some hot cocoa, mindlessly watching the Candlenights movie in front of them. Barry felt like he was about to settle down and go to sleep on the couch right when a soft poke to his cheek alerted him. He woke up, a little wide-eyed for a moment before he laid his eyes on Lup. She waved him up and pointed upstairs. He nodded and got up from the couch and followed her upstairs. 

Upstairs had four doors. One that led to his room, another that led to the bathroom, and the last two were spare rooms. For a while, one room had been Barry’s lab room and the other had been a guest room. From what he knew from Ma, she and his dad wanted more than one kid, but due to infertility problems and age, Ma just had him. It was fine, though. In the end, he ended up having people who he would consider siblings, and he never felt left out. Still, if he were to have kids in the future, he would want to have more than one.

Lup opened his door and ushered him in. He quickly went in and she closed the door behind her, pressing her back up against the door.

“Okay, super cryptic, I know, but that’s high key our style, right? Lup joked, smoothing down her skirt just a bit. She was still wearing her ugly Candlenights sweater and the shirt Taako had given her on top. Even though it was supposed to be ridiculous, Barry can’t help but think she looked absolutely stunning. “Anyway. I wanted to bring you up here in private because I have one more present for you.” 

Barry was about to protest. She had already given him so much today. Yeah the jeanie was a joke, but she had also gotten him the book he was looking out for all year long. Also, the fact that she was here was enough for him. He couldn’t help but feel that he was still dreaming, and that he would wake up cold and bitter because it had all been a dream. But, she was here, all here and in his room saying that she had another present for him. 

“It’s not anything much. Probably super stupid, but that’s fine, right? We can laugh about it later if you hate it. I brought you up because I didn’t want everyone to just be watching, ya know?” She rambled, now fidgeting with a box that he had no idea where she got it from. He didn’t think her skirt had pockets, but he wouldn’t put it past her. “Anyway, here.”

Lup handed him the small box she was holding, going up on her toes every so often with nervous energy. He pulled apart the wrapping paper to unveil the tiny white box in front of him. He opened the lid to be surprised by two circular gold objects staring at him. He must’ve looked confused at it because Lup was suddenly next to him.

“They’re cufflinks. I thought they would be nice, you know? Like, nice dress shirts usually have those cuffed sleeves, and I just thought they would be nice? Gods, this was a bad idea, who buys cufflinks?” 

“No, no, Lup, I love them, really. I think they’re really neat.” He assured, stroking the smooth metal. They were a blue color with the gold backing, and they really were nice. Also, he super appreciated it because he didn’t have any cufflinks and all of his nice dress shirts could really use them. 

“You’re just being nice.” Lup groaned. “I just thought for the piano they would be super useful so your cuffs don’t get in the way.”

“Yeah, they are, which is why I love them.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“No, I’m being 100% honest. Lup, I love them, really. I uh, I also got you something for the performance.” He confessed, putting the box on his bed for a second as he tried to get the box in his pocket. He finally managed to get it out, handing it to Lup. “I just thought they were really neat.”

He had forgotten to wrap it, but that didn’t seem to both Lup any as she took the ribbon off the box and opened it. She let out a soft gasp. 

“Oh, Barry, they’re beautiful.” She whispered softly as she pulled out the earrings from the box. They were long with a rainbow color going down it. Seven colors in all. 

“I thought they looked nice and they sort of have all of our colors in it, right?” He rambled, feeling his palms go sweaty. 

“I love them.” Lup said softly, but he didn’t feel assured by that for some reason.

“You sure? I have the gift receipt if you wanna exchange them–”

“No, Barry, I love them. I also have the gift receipt for those cufflinks, by the way.” Barry wrinkled his nose at that, swiping up his cufflinks to his chest. 

“Yeah, you’re gonna have to rip these from my cold dead fingers. I’m not parting with them.” He announced. He loved her gift. They meant something, and she had thought about performing with him when she bought them. As if he would exchange these beauts for something else. No way. He was going to wear them at any chance he got. 

“Are you challenging me to kill you?”

“Oh, Gods, I hope not, because I’d be the worst person to kill. I’d let you do it, absolutely no fight from me. Except, one request?”

“Man, Bluejeans, you’re running up your bill. What is your oh so mighty one request?” She flicked on a teasing smile, quirking up an eyebrow.

“Just make it as painless as possible.” He pleaded. Lup cackled, her head tilting backwards as she draped her arms around his neck and pulling herself closer to him. Not what he had in mind for being painless, but this was better. 

“The kiss of death is supposed to be pretty painless.” Lup told him, pulling herself back up, letting her forehead touch his. He felt his breathing hitch as he was staring directly at Lup, barely any space between them for the most part. He could close the gap here and kiss her and keep on kissing her until the end of time. 

“I’ve heard that too. Maybe we should test it?” Lup laughed, he could feel her tightening her hold on him. Gods, just when he thought he couldn’t possibly love her anymore, she was constantly surprising him by just being so wonderfully Lup. 

Her lips inched closer, a little shy, like she didn’t know if she should do this. He moved in closer to her, flashbacks of the playing coming forward. How amazing he felt after those kisses and how he just wanted them to keep happening and never stopping. Their lips had barely touched when suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Lup groaned, dipping her head back.

“Raincheck on that test?” She asked, a little bit of annoyance edging into her tone. They were still caught in the embrace and Barry just couldn’t help it. He hadn’t kissed her in so long that he met up with her lips again, giving her a small peck on her lips. It was something so small that it would’ve been considered innocent to anyone. Just two friends kissing, no big deal. But, Lup seemed stunned, eyes wide with surprise. 

“Oh, gods, was that okay? I’m sorry, I didn’t–” 

“It’s fine. More than fine. It was perfect.” She smiled, rewarding him with a small peck on his cheek. “Taako’s probably getting antsy to get going. Merle’s letting Kravitz spend the night–”

“And now Taako has a room alone.”

“Right.” Lup made a face, nose wrinkling at the very thought it all. Barry chuckled, grabbing hold of her hand. He didn’t want her to leave. He wanted her to stay so they could just talk all night. Maybe they could even practice in the morning. Whatever they do, he just wanted to wake up in the morning with her. He didn’t want to spend another morning without her. Since vacation began, she was mostly at Merle’s house. Candlenights was the first time they’d seen each other for oh so long. He just wanted to be with her. 

“You could stay the night? You know Ma would be more than happy.” He offered. Lup hummed in response, playing with his fingers just a bit. 

“Maybe I should.” She murmured, resting her head on his shoulder just a bit. She shook her head just a bit though. “Except I promised Magnus I’d help him with a few things.”

“With what?”

“Engagement things,” Lup smirked just a bit. “He’s proposing to Julia next week.”

“It’s about time.”

“You’re one to talk.” She teased a bit. She lifted her head up from his shoulder and unlaced their fingers. “I’ll see you soon, okay? Maybe after I help Magnus out I can come over again.”

“That’d be nice.” He gave one last squeeze before letting her hand go. He didn’t want to let go of her hand anymore, but somethings just had to happen right now. “See you soon.”

She smiled warmly at him just as another rapt at the door sounded. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. 

“Such patience he has.” She remarked as she walked to the door. He let out a laugh at that and she joined in with him. She gave one more wave to him before opening the door and slipping out. His whole body felt like jelly when he heard the door click close. He collapsed onto his bed, feeling for the cufflinks she had given him. Gods, she knew his taste well. She knew that he would’ve gone with blue over any other color. 

He stroked them again, smiling at them. He was just so in love with her. 

oXo

“What do you mean Barry and I can’t perform together?” Lup was feeling it. It was the beginning of the second semester and Barry and her had worked the remainder of Candlenights vacation on the piece. It felt like it was almost there, but there was still something missing. Something integral that she couldn’t quite put her finger on just yet. 

“Mr Hallwinter isn’t signed up for the class and I can’t have someone who isn’t signed up for the class perform.” The professor told her, shaking her head a bit. “I know he had been in the class the previous semester, but it just isn’t fair–”

“But I’m in the class, and Barry is just helping me! Please, there isn’t anyone who could play this part with me except for Barry.” Lup pleaded. “We’ve been practicing for months.”

“My hands are tied. If the college finds out–”

“If the college doesn’t find out, though.”

“Miss Lup, please. Mr Hallwinter can’t perform. I wish there was something I could do, but there isn’t.” The professor sighed, rubbing her eyes just a bit. “I wish I could bend the rules because I like both you and Barry very much and designed this concert specifically for you two. But, I can’t do much if he’s not signed up for the class.”

Lup deflated. It seemed as though the universe didn’t want them to get together. Every time they tried to perform this piece, they were stopped for some reason or another. It was infuriating, she just wanted the whole hall to know that she and Barry were in love and happy and they were ready to move forward in their little dance. 

“If there is a way though.”

“I’ll tell you immediately. I’m sorry, Lup, I really wanted to hear you two play together.” Lup nodded. She knew that the professor couldn’t do much with what was given, and she wasn’t trying to be mean when she told her no. The college had stupid guidelines and Lup was getting cock-blocked because of them.

She went home in a sour mood. She felt so angry at everything, but especially the school. Why did they have such a stupid guideline in the first place? As long as someone performing was in the class should’ve been good enough. This wasn’t high school. People asked for help all the time with accompaniment, hers just so happens to be the person she loved and wished to be with. She slammed the door open as she walked in, startling Kravitz.

“You’re home.” She felt rather dumb for saying it. But, Kravitz was rarely ever home, he was always doing his weird job that he dare not say what it was. 

“And you’re miffed.”

He said it so matter-of-factly that she let all of her books just fall to the ground and resort to flinging herself onto the available kitchen chair and spreading onto it dramatically. This seemed to get a slight chuckle from Kravitz as he shook his head at her. 

“You’re very much like your brother.” Her ear twitched a bit at that, catching onto something that she didn’t quite catch before. 

“We all know your cockney accent is fake as shit, my dude.” She grumbled back, letting her head hang off the back of the chair. Kravitz cleared his throat a bit.

“Sorry, I just got off of work.” He spoke again in his regular voice. 

“What kind of job makes you have a bad cockney accent?” Kravitz quipped an eyebrow at her and she shook her head. “Yeah, no need to answer that, I don’t wanna know. Anyway, yeah, I’m hella miffed. Turns out Barry can’t perform with me for the Legato concert because he’s not enrolled in the class. Whole bunch of shit.”

Kravitz seemed to nod at that, putting a bookmark in his book before setting it down to give her his undivided attention. 

“If you just have to be enrolled in the class to participate, then why doesn’t Barry just join the class? It’s still early enough in the semester to put him in.” He offered, folding his hands on the table in front of him. Lup shook her head, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hands. 

“That won’t work because Barry is TAing this semester and apparently it's been super demanding. He can’t add on anymore credits either.” She was getting so upset. All she wanted to do was perform with Barry once and for all. She just wanted everything to right itself so that she could perform with him in the first place. 

“Do you really want to perform this song so much?” Kravitz asked suddenly and Lup had a sudden case of whiplash and was ultimately very confused.

“I mean, it’s not just the song I wanna do, I wanna  _ do _ the song  _ with  _ Barry.”

“You also wanna do Barry.”

Lup choked a bit on her spit and catapulted forward in her chair, eyes wide with surprise. She could feel her ears burning brightly and oh fucking Fantasy Christ, the nerve of this bitch. 

“To think I used to think you were a stand up guy! Fucking shit, Kravitz. No wonder Taaks said you were an asshole when he first met you.”

“Taako thought I was an asshole?”

“A really hot one with killer cheekbones, but still a bonafide asshole. Don’t worry, you suit each other just fine.” She grumbled, putting her head one the table. She was already having the worst day ever, and there Kravitz was making it even worse.

“Okay, I’m sorry about my comment, it was out of line. However, if you still wish to play that song, I could always do it with you instead.” He offered, and Lup really had to tell him absolutely not. But, before she could say something, he spoke again. “From my understanding, it’s a romantic piece, correct? Well, you can still dedicate it to him because you know he’ll be in the audience. It won’t be the same, but at least he’ll know that your feelings for him won’t dissipate into the ether.”

Lup blinked at him for a bit, his words refusing to register in her brain for whatever reason. Dedicate her performance to Barry? Yeah, it won’t be the same as playing with him, but at the same time, why would Barry think that her feelings would dissipate? She thought she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to be with him. Also, another thing caught her attention when he made the suggestion.

“You need to be registered for the class though.”

“I am registered.”

“What?”

“Lup, we’ve literally been in the same class for nearly 2 weeks. How did you not know?” Kravitz looked super offended that she hadn’t noticed that they were in the same class. “I mean, we’re mostly in practice rooms, but I’m still on the roll call list.”

How did she not know that she and Kravitz have the same class? She would think of herself as less aloof than that. Then again, she was typically in the practice rooms well before class, and the professor knew exactly where she was and counted her as present. 

“I don’t know, Krav, me and Barry were just really excited to do it and–” she sighed at that, rubbing her hands on her pants. “Gods, I have to tell Barry now.”

“You can think about it, Lup. I’m in no rush.” He assured. Lup nodded and stood up from the table, dreading about how she will tell Barry about all of this. 

“Thanks, Krav.” She said, stretching a bit as she looked to Barry’s room. Kravitz waved at her as she turned to Barry’s room. Gods, this was going to be a lot.

She knocked first and heard his response to come in, which was typically just a grunt. He was probably hunched over grading papers from his TA class. He was always ranting how no one knew how to properly do lab reports and constantly got everything wrong even though he went over how to properly set up lab reports the second day of class. She entered, and just as she suspected, he was hunched over, fastidiously grading the lab reports in front of him. He didn’t even turn around to see her.

“Hey,” she said, going to his bed and sitting on it. He put his pencil down at this and turned around to see her, a smile reaching his eyes as he looked at her. Her heart clenched and she hated that she had to tell him the worst news ever. 

“Hey.” She groaned suddenly, deciding she shouldn’t beat around the bush as it wasn’t fair to him. “What’s wrong?”

“We can’t perform together because you’re not enrolled in the class.”

“Oh. So, you know?

“What do you mean ‘I know’?”

“I mean...I know. About not being able to perform. The professor told me today during one of my breaks. I was going to talk to you about it when you got home, but you know.” Lup put her head awkwardly on his shoulder as she groaned loudly into it. 

“This fucking sucks!” Barry rubbed circles into her back the best he could given their current seating arrangement. “I just wanted to play with you for fucks sake!”

“I wanted to play with you, too.” He murmured, now getting up from his spot. She lifted her head from his shoulder, whining a little bit before Barry picked her up gently, cradling her a bit like a baby. She yelped a bit at that, which just earned her a kiss on her temple as he settled back down on the bed, back against the wall, with her in his lap. She nestled in closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

“It would’ve been fun.” She put her head right in the crook of his shoulder and he put his head right on top of hers. She felt safe this way, like no one could possibly hurt her. 

“I was really excited for it.” Barry told her quietly, rocking her gently. She hummed in response, closing her eyes. They curled up like this for a little bit, Lup being lulled to sleep by Barry’s breathing. Then she remembered Barry’s grading when she started to hear him start to snore softly. 

“Don’t you have your grading to do?” 

“I can take a little break from it.” He assured. “Besides, I’d rather be holding you than grading those abominations.” She hummed at that, nudging herself closer into his chest and breathing in deeply. She really did love this. She loved everything about this. She doesn’t think she would ever have enough of this and them being together. She nestled in even closer to Barry and took another deep breath. Sleep found her easily when she was with him.

xOx

“They better be fucking fully clothed in there!” Taako yelled. He knew that Barry wouldn’t wake up from his holler, and if Lup was curled in next to Barry then she wouldn’t either. Still, he was a little peeved when he got home to not only find out that not only did his goofus of a sister throw her text books all over the floor without picking them up, but that the school would be such a little bitch about who performs where. Sorry Barold didn’t give them his money to take this class, but Taako needed to see them together before they graduate. He would also like to see them together before people started dying. That would be nice.

“They’re nowhere near that level yet, love, no need to fret.” Kravitz assured as he steered him away from Barry’s bedroom door. Taako was about to go in there to see what they were up to. If they were naked, well, he would raise all sorts of hell. 

“You may be partially right, babe. But, those chucklefucks would wait fucking years to get together and then get jiggy with one another day one of their relationship. Actually getting together takes years, whereas everything else after it? It’s on a motherfucking speedrun.” 

Taako smirked at Kravitz, wrapping his arms around his waist and giving him a kiss.

“You got a plan, bones, I can feel it.” Taako grinned, pushing Kravitz closer to him. Kravitz grinned at him, kissing him softly on his forehead. 

“I just think it’s really unfair that Barry won’t be able to perform with Lup. However, I think it would be even more unfair for Lup if she wouldn’t be able to perform if her partner suddenly got sick.” 

“It would be really convenient if someone in the audience knew how to play the part just so Lup could perform. I like this. Babe, you’re a genius.” Taako’s eyes glinted slightly at this news. “You’re gonna make my sister freak out a little, but I’m sure she’ll thank us later.” 

Kravitz matched his grin as he captured his lips, Taako couldn’t help but smile at it all. Yeah, his sister was definitely going to thank him later for all of this.

“We’re gonna have to get someone in high standing with the school to let us pull us off.” Kravitz told him, pressing his forehead against his. 

“I mean, Lucretia’s in high standing with all of them, but I don’t wanna talk to her.”

“It’s fine, I’ll talk with her.”

“Gods, I love you.” Taako pressed another kiss to Kravitz’s lips before slipping away into the kitchen. “I’m super hungry though, and I’m sure you are, too, so let’s settle this in the kitchen, kay stud?”

oXo

After talking with Barry to make sure that it was indeed okay to have Kravitz as a partner instead, Lup couldn’t help but feel disconnected with the song she was trying to play. It irked her a little bit. She had played it well with Barry, and it felt right with him. With Kravitz, something was off. It wasn’t that he was an incompetent piano player. It was the opposite of that, he was able to pick the music up quickly and they were practicing full run throughs together in no time. There just wasn’t anything there, and she was sure it showed. Here she was trying to play a song about romance and she was playing it with her brother’s boyfriend who used to be her dance partner. 

She knew that Kravitz was feeling it, too. Always had to cut rehearsal short because whatever they were doing just didn’t sound right together. It honestly cut into her self-esteem as a violin player way too deep. Why couldn’t she just pull this together and fix it? Why was it now so weird to be playing this song?

Because she’s meant to be playing it with Barry. 

Just that realization had her hitting her head on her wall as she once again tried to play the violin part. She was only passionate when Barry was playing with her because he set the tone to be that way. She had always admired his piano playing, and was memorized since she was in middle school as his fingers caressed each key with such care and love. Like each note meant something special, which they did. She couldn’t help falling in love with him when he did things like  _ that. _

Barry set the mood and the tone of it with her coming in to push out her own feelings, something she was terrified to do and still was. She knew that he knew how she felt. She knew that she wanted to be with him. But to express that to everyone and to declare just how much Barry meant to her? It terrified her. She was beyond ready to be with him, though. It was just having it all right there on the platter. Letting him know how long she had loved and yearned for him. That was also scary.

But, it was ripped away from her, and now all she could do was try to dedicate it to Barry. It didn’t feel right to have Kravitz play it with her. This was supposed to be a Barry and Lup thing. This was their own love story to one another. Telling the other just how important they were to each other and expressing it all on stage in front of their peers. Now, she could barely get a note out without it sounding strange and strangled. 

Their professor even seemed a little nervous for it during dress rehearsal. They just about fell apart with one another at the end with one another and Lup wanted to die a little bit from the mortification. 

Still, the day had arrived where she would make a total fool of herself. No one would know that she had initially thought of this as a sort of confession. The person in question knew of course, he just didn’t know how much and how willing she was to move forward.Why she decided to make it this big thing instead of just telling him straight up she wanted to date him? Maybe it was because they had both waited for so long and it felt anti-climatic if they didn’t do it like this. She just wanted it to be special. Who knows, maybe she’ll make it special again when she works up the courage to straight up tell him. 

She felt a knot in her stomach the whole day as she was getting ready. She wanted to go into the practice room one more time to just run it by herself, to make sure it was as perfect as she could get it to be. She left the apartment early, trudging her violin with her to the practice room, her good shoes in her other hand as she trekked down in her sneakers. Some students stared a bit as she walked down in her fancy red dress and worn out white sneakers, but as soon as she made eye contact with them, they averted their eyes and continued about their day. She wouldn’t let anything get her down.

She arrived in the practice room, some anxious students were already there and she couldn’t help but make the same tired face at them to let them know that she too skipped out on sleeping and decided to practice. She went into one of the rooms and closed the door behind her, already feeling the day hitting her. She must’ve ran through the song a billion times last night, but even with that, she didn’t feel prepared at all. 

She took out her violin and her sheet music and just stared at the wall for what felt like 20 minutes. Oh yeah, she was feeling it. She was pretty sure if the people out in the hall actually cared and weren’t worrying about their own pieces, then they would be wondering what the fuck she was doing. But no, no one bothered her and she stood up again, placed her music on the stand and raised her violin to rest just right on her shoulder and–

And she stared at her sheet music for another 20 minutes. The earrings that Barry had bought her for Candlenights clacked up against her violin. She would have to remember to take her left one out. 

Finally, she actually decided to practice. And practice she did, as soon as she started she didn’t stop. She just did it. She lost track of time when she practiced, and didn’t even notice how long she was in the practice room until her alarm on her stone sounded, telling her she had 1 hour until the concert. Okay, perfect. She checked her messages to see that Taako had texted her a bunch of times. She frowned and opened the messages.

_ Lil Binch >:D _

_ So, bad news! _

_ Kravitz is like supes sicko. _

_ Like puking his guts out sicko. _

_ So he like can’t perform at all.  _

_ Yikes, amiright?  _

Lup began to feel everything crashing down around her. So, not only could she not play with Barry, but she couldn’t even play with Kravitz? What in the fucks name was this? Should she pull her number? She had time to do that, right? Would the professor even let her do that? Gods, this fucking sucked. All she wanted to do was cry a little bit because she deserved it. Instead, she just texted Taako back one simple word.

_ Fuck! _

xOx

Barry woke up to a cold bucket of water dousing him on the head. He had no idea why he would be given such a rude awakening, didn’t really know what he did to deserve it. He jolted awake, looking around aimlessly to see whomst done it. Taako was sitting at his desk, comfortably dry and looking like he was wearing one of his best outfits that consisted of long dark dress pants and a very open white shirt. A hat was situated neatly on his head, and the braid Lup gave him two nights ago was still in and looking as neat as ever. 

Barry looked up, scrambling for his glasses and saw a floating bucket just tilted over to splash him perfectly with icy cold water. 

“Taako, what the fuck?” He slurred, still heavy with sleep. No matter how much ice water was dumped on him, he would wake up in his own time. 

“Kravs sick.” Taako announced unceremoniously, inspecting his nails. Barry blinked, trying to wrap his head around why this would concern him.

“I’m sorry?” Taako tutted and rolled his eyes, uncrossing his legs dramatically. He flung his arms in the air and stood up. 

“Hurry up and get ready, Barold. Where are those cufflinks my goofus of a sister gave you?” He was already looking through his stuff even without Barry telling him where he put them. Barry struggled to keep up with him. His mind was still muddy with sleep and he didn’t know how to answer anything. Still, he seemed to muster out something of coherence.

“Uh, top middle drawer? They’re in the heart shaped jewelry box.” Barry said, rubbing his eyes. Gods, he was so fucking tired. 

“Cool, cool. Your clothes are in the bathroom. Hurry up and shower and get changed. We don’t have much time, my dude.” 

“Wait, what?”

“Ugh, Barold, come on. It’s the love of your life’s concert tonight. Hurry up, my dude.” It was suddenly starting to click in Barry’s head. Oh fuck. He was suddenly very awake and scrambled out of bed to go to the bathroom. Right, he had stayed up until 7 am grading lab reports again. Now it was nearly 5 and he was going to miss Lup’s concert. Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck.

He quickly showered, not caring that it wasn’t hot yet, and got ready as fast as he was able. Taako had set aside the clothes he was going to wear for the concert apparently. He brushed it off and changed into them quickly, trying to comb his hair and brush his teeth all at once. 

He was back in his room in 15 minutes, Taako already there with his suit jacket and cufflinks in hand. 

“Come on, get in this and I’ll help you with the cufflinks.” Taako said, tossing him the navy blue suit jacket. It matched the cufflinks perfectly, he made sure that it did. He and Lup had gone out together and picked them out. It was fun when he was doing it with her, but why was Taako dressing him in this? Maybe he just wanted him to look his best. That made sense. Should they pick up flowers for Lup on the way? Did they have time to do that? He was going over all of this as Taako put on his cufflinks with some added gusto. He was then ushering him out of his room and out of the apartment. 

“Magnus is waiting for us in the parking lot. He’s going to step on it to make sure we get there in time. Now, when we get to the building, I need you to run like your fucking life depends on it, kay? Lucretia is waiting backstage to get you to drop point. You should be there just in time to do maybe one run through with Lup before performing. We gucci?”

Barry’s brain felt like it was everywhere at once. What in hell's name was going on? Why was he barking things at him like this? They were just watching Lup perform, right?

“Wait, what’s going on?”

“Krav’s sick, you’re his replacement. Keep up, Barold.”

“His replacement? What?”

“Lup kind of can’t do a duet with a second person, nerd. Lucretia got it sorted. Don’t worry, she’ll tell you what to do.” He pushed him out of the apartment building as Barry dug his heels in the ground because he still didn’t know what was going on. “Come on, Barold, can you be cool?”

That made Barry stop for a second. Be cool? He was cool wasn’t he? He was? That’s why they hung out with him because he was sort of cool. Lup said as much all the way back in kindergarten. She said that’s why his name should’ve been Barry, because Barry’s were cool and he was certainly very cool. 

“So I have to perform with Lup tonight?” He asked. Taako rolled his eyes but nodded. “Okay, does she know?”

“Oh, no, we just told her not to worry. You’re a surprise, my dude.”

“You’re gonna freak your sister out, you know that, right?”

“Call it payback for making me endure you two dancing around each for so long. Now, can you get in Magnus’ shitty ass car? We don’t have much time.”

Barry climbed into Magnus’ car and as soon as Taako was in, Magnus immediately took off down the road, going well above the speed limit. 

“Hey, Barry, how ya doin?” Julia greeted, smiling kindly at him as she sat calmly up front with Magnus. Everyone in the back was getting jostled. As he looked around, Merle, Davenport, and Ma were all in the car. Also, most suspicious was Kravitz.

“Aren’t you supposed to be sick?”

For his part, Kravitz pulled out a weak cough and fake sneezed into his elbow. The three older adults in the car looked at Kravitz with suspicion. 

“Kravitz dear, you’re sick?” Ma asked, already going into her purse, probably to supply him with a tissue. 

“Oh, the sickest, Mrs Hallwinter.” Ma gave him A Look™ and tutted her tongue a little bit at fooling old mothers. She still handed him some tissues.

“Also, to answer your question, Julia, I’m super confused, thanks for asking.”

“So are we!” Merle exclaimed. “Taako just showed up super early this morning telling us all to get in the car or he would put us in there himself. No one wanted to see that, so here we are.”

“You know Lup has a concert, old man, for gods sake are you losing your marbles already?”

“Yeah, I know that,  _ Taako _ , thank you for the reminder. I just don’t know why we’re making this a big show of getting Tankhakis over to this.”

“Bluejeans. Merle, if you don’t know the joke then you can’t say it!” Magnus spoke up. “And to be perfectly fair, I also don’t know why we’re doing this! I was just told to step on it since Cap’nport doesn’t have his new eye prescription yet.”

_ ‘I don’t need a new prescription, my eyesight is fine, thank you!’ _

“Yeah, tell that to the pole we nearly hit, Dav.” Merle patted his knee a bit. Davenport just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. He was obviously still sour over the incident.

They continued the bumpy ride in relative silence, only making remarks at one another for not knowing what in fucks name was going on. As soon as they pulled up to the concert hall, Taako shoved Barry out of the car and then began yelling at Magnus to park. Barry was in a daze for a moment until he felt someone’s hand on his bicep. 

“Come on, we don’t have much time now. The professor has been trying to stall starting for as long as possible so you and Lup could potentially get practice in, but she can only do so much.” Lucretia told him quickly. Barry’s brain was going a mile minute as she pulled him to the backstage door. “Now, yours and Lup’s duet doesn’t go on until around 8:30 and it’ll be the closing song, but once the concert starts, there’s no more time to practice. I’m sure you are well aware.”

“How are you all pulling this all off?” Lucretia stopped suddenly, looking at him with a smirk in her eyes. 

“It really does do wonders if you’re charismatic and have a good standing with most of the faculty.” She smirked at that and then picked up pace again, practically running towards the backstage door. From the looks of it, it was still open to let a little air into the building. He hoped the building was super air-conditioned though. He could already feel himself start to sweat and it wouldn’t be a good look to be on stage with sweat stains all over his suit. They got to the threshold of the building just as Lucretia stopped him. 

“Lup’s going to be in a practice room waiting for you. I’ll inform the professor that you’re here.” Lucretia smoothed down his hair just a bit before ushering him to the practice rooms. She turned to leave just to stop again. “Oh, and Barry?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember to breathe. Don’t be afraid, everything will be fine.” She smiled and left. Barry couldn’t help but be even more confused than before. Still, he continued down the hall to the practice rooms. The air conditioning seemed to be cranked up a bit to make up for how hot it was outside. That was nice. Barry could feel himself melting as he made his way down the halls. He saw Lup in one of the practice rooms all done up in her concert attire seated with her back to the wall. She seemed to be in the middle of trancing. 

She looked absolutely stunning. Her hair was put into an intricate looking braid at the nape of her neck. The earrings that he had given her were dangling from her ears, making a statement if he ever saw one. She wore the same dress she did for prom, but it somehow looked even better on her now than it did back then. Barry couldn’t help but fall in love with her all over again. 

He entered the practice room as quietly as possible, trying to not disturb Lup to the best of his abilities. Her ear twitched just a bit and her eyes fluttered open, taking in her surroundings. When her eyes met him, she made an audible gasp and her eyes were wide. 

“Barry,” she said, astonishment in her voice. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m Kravitz’s replacement, apparently?”

“But you’re not in the class?”

“I’m a little fuzzy on the details, too.” He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I sort of just woke up like maybe 45 minutes ago?”

A knock sounded on the practice room door, causing them both to flinch and look at who it was. The professor was there holding up a folder. Barry opened the door for her.

“Okay, so, it’s around 6:00 right now. You two are going on closer to 9:00 since we’re starting 30 minutes later. Are you both okay with that?” The two of them nodded in unison. “Okay, cool. Barry, here’s your sheet music. I’ll give you ten minutes to figure it out, okay?”

They didn’t answer until she retreated again. Barry and Lup looked at each other, the two of them out of their element just a bit. 

“So, you wanna rehash this?” Barry asked after a couple of seconds of silence. Lup stared at him and then her face broke out into a smile. 

“Fuck yes, babe, let’s do this.”

xOx

When their time slot came into view, Lup and Barry were in the wings, gripping onto their sheet music. Her stomach kept doing flips and her heartbeat was super erratic. She was surprised that Barry couldn’t hear it, but she assumed he was freaking out over some other things. Like that he was just thrown on stage at the last minute as a replacement. Fuck, what in the fuck was happening? This had to be a dream, right? There was no way that this was real life because things like this didn’t happen. 

Gods, she felt like she was about to throw up. 

She had never been this nervous about anything. Her legs have never felt this jelly like before, and she couldn’t remember the last time her hands shook like this. Oh gods, she was going to join Kravitz in being sick. 

“Thank you all for coming out here tonight, and for being so patient! For our last performance–”

Oh, gods, where was the trashcan when she needed it? She felt like she was about to hyperventilate when she felt a hand on her bicep. She turned and saw Barry. She immediately started to relax.

“Hey, we’re okay.” He whispered, squeezing her bicep gently. She nodded, swallowing thickly. “We’re just performing for each other.”

Each other. That’s who she has to perform for. She has to perform like it’s just her and Barry on stage and no one else. 

She smiled at him, suddenly feeling much better than before. He smiled back, dropping his hand from her bicep. 

“And now playing  _ Salut D’amour opt 12,  _ please welcome Barry Hallwinter and Lup.” The professor stated. They heard the audience clap politely as they entered the stage. Lup felt like she was going to pass out again. Oh gods, this was it, wasn’t it? She put her music on the stand and flipped to her music. She heard Barry drop his music on the floor, cursing a little bit. She wiped her hand on her dress. She looked to Barry. 

_ “You okay?”  _ She mouthed. He situated himself again and nodded. She nodded to him again, smiling shakily. She lifted her violin to her chin and shoulder, resting it just right. She took a deep breath. This was for them. This was how she would tell Barry how long she’s loved him. He was the love of her life, and will be for the rest of hers. He was the only one for her. 

She looked to Barry again. They made eye contact and suddenly, everyone else was gone. She nodded to him, raising her bow to her strings. He nodded back, placing his hands on the piano’s keys and starting those sweet first notes. 

It was just her and Barry in this hall. No one else. This was for them and only for them. They were just Barry and Lup in the practice room. They were just Lup and Barry in his room staying up all night talking. They were in Mama Bluejeans house making up new scientific theories with one another, they were in the school’s auditorium at play practice, they were Barry and Lup at prom slow dancing together in an empty room. They were Lup and Barry in the science room with a stubborn robot. They were at the beach where they almost kissed one another. They were in that kindergarten class meeting for the very first time. She remembered how scared he looked that first day, how his face was all puffy from crying and how badly she wanted to befriend him because he seemed like the type of person who would need a friend.

She remembered how quickly he accepted her as who she was. How he never questioned it and that she was just Lup to him and no one else. She remembered how badly she wanted to kiss him in that science room all the way back in seventh grade, how she suddenly realized that she was in love with her best friend and that he could never know her feelings for him. She remembered beach day and how they had almost kissed one another and how everything seemed so simple back then. She remembered just coming back after ten months away and how Barry looked the first time he saw her again. How his eyes radiated such love and kindness and how hadn’t she seen it before? It was plain as day. She remembered him holding her so tightly after her nightmare and how safe in his arms she felt. She remembered hearing how he loved her for the first time that night and nearly leaping out of the bed to announce it to him that she was in love with him and have been for so long. 

She remembered how he said that he would wait forever and longer to be with her. It was funny how that was, because she too would wait forever and longer just for him. She wouldn’t mind being reborn over and over again if it meant she could meet and fall in love with Barry J Bluejeans all over again. No matter how many iterations there were of them, she knew that they would always end up together, because they were a match. Two pieces in a puzzle coming together perfectly. They were Barry and Lup, Lup and Barry, they would always be together and end up together no matter where they were because they were just meant to be. 

That was the truth. She loved Barry with her whole heart and soul. She would never stop loving him no matter what. She was so sure and felt so secure in her love for Barry. She knew he felt the same. He played it right in front of her, and had been since day one while she was still trying to figure things out on how to express everything to him. There he was, laying his heart out to her, over and over again, and she was finally picking up on it once and for all. She was the only one for him, and he was the only one for her. 

And suddenly, it was over. The piece was done and she and Barry just stared at each other, her whole body lighter than ever as she breathed easily. He had a smile on his face that was so blinding, but she couldn’t look away. She never wanted to look away from him ever again. She placed her violin in one hand and walked over to him, sticking her hand out of him to take. The crowd was still silent, but she didn’t mind, she was holding Barry’s hand. She had laid it all out there for him, and he had reciprocated everything. They raised their arms up and swooped down in a dramatic bow just as the audience began to burst into cheers and applause. They laughed at one another, swooping down once more for comedic effect. But then, on their way up, they paused and both looked at each other. It all finally hit them both. They were ready to move forward. They were ready to love one another fully and without fear. They were never letting go again.

“Barry, you wanna go talk somewhere?”

“Yeah, I’d really like that.”

They both knew they really weren’t going to talk. They had talked right there on stage, still it made Lup giddy as she and Barry ran off the stage, still not letting go.

They went into the same practice room from before, Barry shutting the door behind them and closing the privacy blinds in there. He was still holding her hand in the midst of everything, which just made her heart jump even more. She settled her violin on the piano bench gently, letting her other hand take hold of his free hand. They stared at one another for a bit, memorizing every detail.

“Have you really loved me since–”

“Yeah. And you since–”

“Guilty.” They stared at each other before breaking out into fits of laughter and giggles. They pressed their foreheads against each one another, their fingers interlocking and memorizing the feel of one another. 

“I love you, Barry. Gods, I love you so much it hurts.”

“I love you, too, Lup.” She smiled as they inched closer to one another, letting their lips finally get that kiss that they’ve been wanting for so long. It was a lot like their stage kiss when they were high school, but better. They didn’t have to be shy anymore. They knew, they knew and they would keep kissing until the end of time. Or until someone kicked them out of the practice room. 

It was slow and gentle, and then suddenly it was greedy and needy. Too many years had it all been pent up. It needed to come out and they needed this right now. Lup sighed against his lips, feeling her whole body turn to goo. She couldn’t help but to sink onto the floor. Barry followed her excitedly, holding onto her tightly. Her lungs were screaming for air, but right now she couldn’t be bothered, she was with the love of her life. She wasn’t going to give up this time for something like air. 

“Lup,” Barry sighed, breaking off their kiss. Lup chugged a mouthful of air as she stared into his eyes. 

“Yeah?” 

“What are we?” Lup bellowed with laughter as Barry joined in with her, her sides ached as she laughed, but she didn’t mind. She just wanted to be with Barry forever, that’s all she knew. 

“I mean, I can tell you what I want us to be, but what do you want us to be?”

“Together, together,” he answered with no hesitation. 

“Good, because I think I may love you way too much to be anything less than together, together.” She smiled, stroking his hair behind his ear. He grinned at her, pressing their lips together again making her sigh beneath him again. 

She felt so full of light and happiness as she kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck and laughing as he tipped her back. She was just so in love and life really couldn’t get any better for her. 

_ And I know I've kissed you before, but _

_ I didn't do it right _

_ Can I try again, try again, try again _

_ Try again, and again, and again _

_ And again, and again, and again _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THAT'S THE END! Thank you all so much for sticking with me on this fic! I really didn't expect that so many people would like this story so much. I made Falling for U as just a little self-indulgent thing a lil "hehe childhood friends to lovers, my favorite trope" thing. The fact that so many of you liked this passion project makes me very emotional at this 2:12 am hour, and I'm just so thankful for every single one of you. Really, thank you so much. You all really kept me going with your super kind comments and love. Thank you so, so much for everything!
> 
> I will probably be doing a series of one-shots at some point, but right now I want to take a serious nap. 
> 
> Some plug-ins!  
Tumblr: MoonlightxStars  
Instagram: MoonlightxStars  
Twitter: MoonSympathizer  
Discord: MoonlightxStars#1556
> 
> If y'all wanna talk to me at all, that's where to find me! I'm super active on Discord and would love to talk about taz because that's who I am as a person!
> 
> Again, thank you all so, so much for your support, I super appreciate and love every single one of you so much! I'll probably be doing another fic soon, haven't decided which one yet! (of course it's Blupjeans centric because I'm a hoe for those two.)


	16. Epilogue ;)

To say the stress and emotional levels were high in the all too bright bridal suite would be an understatement. It was currently around six in the morning and Lup was feeling every last bit of nerves and over-exhaustion hit her like a ton of bricks. The last year had been all too stressful and exhausting and if anything went bad on this day, she would be raising hell–or just possibly cry. That seemed to feel more appropriate today. 

They had all stayed up way too late making sure everything was in order and cleared away. Gods forbid if she went to bed at a decent hour only to find out that the flowers were the wrong color in the morning. Yeah, no, she would not be doing that. Luckily, Lucretia had most everything cleared away before the night before, so not too many things had to be checked on. Didn’t help that Lup got anxious because she had the need that everything needed to look perfect. It also didn’t help that yesterday was the first night without sharing a bed with Barry in around 25 or so years. 

Taako had played a little game with them and upheld the old tradition that the bride and groom couldn’t see each other at all before the wedding. It put Lup on edge and when she had snuck away to secretly call Barry, she found out that he also was a little on edge. Taako had told them it was payback for making him wait so long for them to get together and then get married. 

It wasn’t that they didn’t want to get married in the first place. Weddings in general were pretty expensive and she and Barry had wanted to establish themselves in their respective careers before tying the knot and save some money. Besides, they both didn’t really see the point in getting married and signing it off on a piece of paper. If it wasn’t for the tax benefits, they would’ve just said they were already married and left it at that. 

But, making it legal did have its benefits. For one, there was now an excuse to wear an over the top dress and have no one judge. It was her wedding day, if they had a problem with her dress, they could see themselves out. Also, it was going to be nice seeing all her old friends that she hadn’t seen in a while. What wasn’t going to be fun is all the people bombarding her and Barry to talk to them about how much everything cost. Mostly her side of the family that she felt obligated to invite even though they didn’t do shit for her or Taako. She tried to think of it as she was mooching them out of their money. That made her feel slightly better about her situation. 

What also didn’t help were her new influx of emotions going on. She and Barry had talked about having kids for a while, and had really started to talk about it the last two years. Weighed the pros and cons of going through with it. They had more pros. A lot more pros. He was nervous about the procedure she would go under and what that would entail. She explained to him it was just a simple spell that Taako would have to learn. It was nerve wracking to think about, but she had been really excited about doing it. She had been a little guilty of thinking about how cute she and Barry’s kids would look and how much cooler they would be. The past five years had just heightened those thoughts overboard. Also, she had seen Barry with Julia and Magnus’ kids and oh gods. That done did it for her. 

To be fair, they had been talking about having kids together six years into their relationship. They had both just been laying in bed, trying to ignore the piles of work that they had to get to and just enjoying the morning together. She had brought up how good-looking a person that looked like the both of them would be. That little comment spiraled out of control and they both didn’t get sleep that night. They were just too busy fantasizing about the children they could have one day when their work life wasn’t as hectic and they were stable enough to support them.

That was also the agreement on getting married. They had both been setting aside some money for an adequate ceremony and after years of saving, they had finally done it. Along with paying off most of their student debt and actually upgrading from an apartment to a small house they both shared with Taako and Kravitz. It was a nice size house with four bedrooms and two bathrooms. One of the extra bedrooms worked as the office for all four of them, while the small extra bedroom stayed empty. It worked as a guest bedroom sometimes, but both Barry and Lup had other plans with it. They had discussed it with Taako and Kravitz plenty of times before, and they didn’t seem to mind. They were excited for them and Taako was right behind Lup in thinking about going through with the procedure. He had started learning immediately, waiting on Lup to know when she was ready to go through with it. 

And finally, she was. Two years ago she had asked Taako to make preparations for it, and a year ago they actually went through with it. The spell said it wouldn’t work right away. It would take some adjusting, might take up to a year to really start up. So, she didn’t see it as necessary to tell Barry right away. It had assured her she wouldn’t get pregnant the first year due to her body growing used to the new development and figuring out how to regulate and adjust to it. Still, she started to be a little more careful. She was sure Barry had a suspicion. She had begun to pick up more condoms, especially after six months had passed, and she got on birth control. She would rather be safe.

It was all coming to head quickly enough. Just the previous month she had her first period which  _ sucked. _ Barry had gone to a conference and she had stayed home because of how crummy she felt. Still, the excitement was there, bubbling in her chest at the possibility of her and Barry having kids. He was at the conference for the duration of her period, and the whole time he was away, she was gushing to Taako, pulling up lists of names that she and Barry had agreed on and getting a bad app to see what their child could possibly look like. Even though it was a bad app with a barely 3 star rating, she and Barry still produced stand up good-looking kids. Natch.

Her stomach tied in knots as she thought about how she would tell Barry about it all. She would obviously tell him, it was her wedding gift to him after all, but she couldn’t help being nervous over it. She was sure he was going to be happy. More than that, he’ll be over-the-moon over it. They had both been wanting this for so long and now it was in their grasp. They felt stable enough to have kids and they were very much committed to one another. She loved him and she knew that he loved her, and together they would have a very loving family. But she assumed that being nervous was part of the territory of it all and that she kept it a secret for so long. She and Barry didn’t really _ do _ secrets. They more so did surprises that the other would tell in a week's time. She never held back something so big from him. She hoped that he wouldn’t feel left out of it all, especially since he was probably the last one to find out. 

Possibly not the last one. Merle and Davenport didn’t know, but they can find out later. Mostly just Taako knew and with that, Kravitz knew. She had to ask Lucretia and Julia what they recommended for products the first time it happened. They walked her through how to deal with it, recommended painkillers and gifted her a hot bottle and heating pad. They taught her how to care for herself during this time and Lup couldn’t be more thankful for them. 

Mama Bluejeans knew only because she had spent a night over there and accidentally leaked on the bed sheets. Mama just gave her a kiss on her head and taught her how to deal with it when it happens. Lup had apologized profusely over it as she dumped her sleep shorts in the cold water, Mama just shook her head and told her that it happens and gave her a fresh pair of sweatpants. Magnus probably knew because no one knew how to keep quiet about things. Which means he could’ve let it slip to Merle and Davenport which  _ would _ make Barry the last to know. But, he could’ve also accidentally told Barry which would destroy the whole surprise. Gods fucking dammit. 

She was tapping her fingers on her thigh, rubbing her fingers on the gaudy white satin robe Taako had gifted to her so she wouldn’t get her dress dirty as she got ready. It had some tacky rhinestones on the back that spelled out _ ‘Bride’ _ in too neat loopy handwriting. She had hoped it was for a goof, but Taako had been 100% serious about it, especially after gifting her with the matching sleep-mask. Something about payback for making him lose out on a bet or something. A hand slapped her worry tapping.

“Will you stop that? You’re gonna ruin your manicure, sister dear.” Taako chided, lounging down on the chair next to her. For being six in the morning and not really being a morning person, Taako was looking far off better than her. His hair was wound up in a high bun and he seemed to be wearing some of the golden eye patches that Lucretia had brought. It was for the whole bridal party and Taako was really seeing to it that he used his immediately. Lup was too tired to even think about putting things on her face right now. Besides, she was sure that if she did go down in her pj’s and bags under her eyes that Barry would still find her the most beautiful person ever. He said as much every time they woke up to each other in the morning. It was very much reciprocated. Barry was quite possibly the best looking man in her eyes and gods did she feel so lucky to wake up every morning to his snoring. She’d kiss him awake and they just lay in bed until they absolutely had to get up and get ready for work. On days off, they’ll just lay in bed until late morning or until Taako barged in asking for twin coffee time. It was absolute bliss.

“What are you even nervous about? You know that Barold’s gonna be absolutely stoked about everything. Y’all are literally the most infuriating couple when it comes to actually getting together about anything.” Taako ranted, nudging Lup’s hand off her thigh again once she started to tap it again. He took a minute to mess with his eye patches just a bit before looking directly at her, eyebrows crinkling together. “Are you nervous about–”

“I don’t know how to tell him!” She dug her nails into her thigh. She started to shake her leg as all of her thoughts jumbled together. “I know he’s going to be excited, but I’m afraid that he’s going to feel left out, you know? Like, we’ve been talking about having kids for so long and now it’s so close and I just don’t know if he’s going to feel like he was left out of it.”

Taako put his hand on her shoulder, ceasing her nervous rambling about how she might’ve made a mistake in not telling Barry about her plans. They had been talking about it. They had been, had even talked about it two weeks ago and it took everything in her to not just confess and tell him what she had done. It wasn’t like it was bad or anything, she was just nervous about it all. Nervous how she was going to tell him, nervous about his reaction, and nervous if he felt any slight bit of left out. She just wanted to do a nice surprise for him, and she figured that this was a pretty good one.

“I’m pretty sure you’re over-thinking the whole thing, Lu.” Taako squeezed her shoulder just a bit to help try to calm her nerves. It worked a little bit, but not enough to have her mind go through all the scenarios of what could possibly be Barry’s reaction. The one that kept popping up the most was obviously the one where he was elated and giggly. That one sort of calmed her nerves down. But the ones that also kept coming up was Barry upset that she didn’t tell him right away when it happened. She just wanted it to be special. She heard Taako tut his tongue just a bit, knowing that she was still overthinking the entire thing. He stretched a bit in his seat before standing up and going to the bathroom.

“I’m gonna get started on your face. You look like you didn’t get any sleep last night and sister dear, I thought you learned from my own mistake.”

“I was too nervous to sleep, let alone trance.” She gnawed at her bottom lip a little bit, pulling at the already chapped state of her lips. Taako had chided her earlier this week about how she’d been biting her lip more and more as the day kept approaching. Several lip masks had wasted their time on trying to fix her lips' sorry state. 

“I really should’ve made you take that melatonin then.” Taako came out of the bathroom holding her makeup kit in one hand, and skillfully holding two champagne glasses in his other hand. “Gods fuck, Lup, we’re gonna have to exfoliate your lips again if you keep doing that!”

“I can’t help that I’m nervous!”

“Maybe so, but you can stop biting your lip like some YA protagonist. Holy shit, Lulu, there’s only so much lip masks and exfoliants can do.” He placed the kit on the dresser and threw a hair tie and headband in her direction. “Go wash up. Can’t be messing with a dirty ass canvas.”

Lup stood from her seat and obeyed Taako's demands, not before flicking him in the head for all of his nagging thus far. He let out an undignified noise, swatting at her as she scurried to the bathroom to escape a hit. 

“I see you still have plenty of energy to abuse your poor defenseless brother!” Taako yelled after her. She shook her head at his melodramatics. “Don’t dawdle in there! We’re on a tight schedule!”

She knew that Taako was probably just hearing a timer in his head and he was nervous that they wouldn’t make it down on time or something won’t arrive on time and they’ll be stranded. She also knew that he was trying to hide all of his own nervousness by being a little more naggy and trying to appear relaxed. It didn’t work, obviously, he was as wound up as a music box. It probably didn’t help that she was in the same position as him. She also knew that this day was important to him, after all, she was his sister and Barry was his longest friend. Of course he would want to see two people who meant the world to him to have the most perfect day without any hiccups. 

Deciding where Taako was going to go in the wedding party was also very difficult. He was obviously going to be a part of it, but she and Barry kept going back and forth on where he would go. Barry told her that Taako could be in her party since he was her brother after all, and she told Barry that Taako could be in his party since they were practically brothers. In the end, Taako decided he would divide his time for the both of them since they couldn’t decide and left it up to him. Julia and Lucretia were part of Lup’s wedding party and Magnus and Polly made up Barry’s. 

That was when Taako joked about how Kravitz didn’t have a place in the wedding party and how miffed he was over it. How dare they exclude his husband after he had to live with the two of them for so long and heard things he could never forget. Thus, Kravitz was dubbed as the flower man and ring bearer due to his innocence being shattered by them. Taako had howled with laughter when he heard their decision of where Kravitz stood. For his part, Kravitz just smiled and took the role gracefully and asked if he could pick out what he could wear. 

So, most things were sorted. Lup really couldn’t decide who to walk her down the aisle. She was caught between two people, especially since they both meant the world to her. Choosing between the three parent figures in her life was rather difficult, but Merle helped her out by volunteering to officiate the wedding in the first place.  _ “It’ll save you and Blue Man some money!” _

That just left her with choosing between Davenport and Mama Bluejeans, and let’s be real, it was too hard to choose, so why not both? It was her wedding after all, and she could do whatever the fuck she wanted. If anyone had a problem with that then they could see their way out. Davenport and Mama didn’t seem upset that they had to share the honor, and they had immediately started to plan complimenting outfits with one another. So, everything was absolutely fine.

She was happy with her wedding party and with the direction of how the wedding was going in the first place, and that’s all that really matters. As long as she and Barry both had a good time, that was all that really mattered. They just can’t get super stressed before it even started about others enjoying it. 

They had both been hyper aware and worried that others wouldn’t enjoy their wedding. Maybe it was because they spent hours binge watching  _ Fantasy Four Weddings _ and  _ Fantasy Bridezilla _ just to have a bit of fun. Seeing how the grading went from the women set Lup off a bit, especially since they had no idea who the couple getting married was. How were they supposed to decide what was in the couples best interest in the first place? Who cares if they would’ve done it differently. The couple did the things that they wanted and felt fit them. Still, seeing them put down the wedding because they wanted to win was a little unnerving. She and Barry had a very particular taste that some people might not agree with. It shouldn’t matter though. It wasn’t like she and Barry had signed up for it. They knew what they wanted to do for their honeymoon and they didn’t need to go on a glorified game show in order to go on it. 

Taako had been asking her what they’re doing for their honeymoon for the past few months, to which Lup answered rather cryptically as he put it. It wasn’t like it was a big secret or anything, they were just going to nerd it up by going across Faerun and learning new techniques when it came to magic and science. Also, to just explore what they haven’t yet and just enjoy one another without two other people to have to worry about disturbing. They’ll be gone right up until a week before Fall semester started up again, letting Kravitz and Taako have some alone time this summer as well. 

It’ll be nice being away from Kravitz and Taako for a while. She loved her brother and Kravitz, but to spend guaranteed alone time with Barry without any fear of who was coming home and entering their room? That was something. She couldn’t wait. If she could skip the whole wedding thing and just go straight to their honeymoon she would. She could be patient though. It was worth being patient over this.

She wrapped her hair up in a high bun and started the too big shower, putting the water on the hottest setting. She was sure to regret it once she stepped in and shriek at the temperature, but it’ll be worth it once she got used to it. Her muscles will be able to relax from the little tense sleep she did get the night before. Taako was sure to put some eye masks once she came back out and maybe put on another mask for good measure. She sighed a bit. Weddings sure were stressful. No wonder she and Barry held it off for so long. 

She stripped her clothes quickly and hopped in, not really wanting to waste anymore time and just as she suspected, she did a little shriek as the too hot water attacked her skin. It would only burn for a moment before it started to actually start feeling nice. She wondered what Barry was up to as she waited to get used to the water. She was sure that if she had actually been with him last night then she would’ve gotten enough sleep. Stupid wedding regulations that said that the bride and groom couldn’t see each other before the wedding day. Taako was able to stay with Kravitz before their big day all because Taako said that they were both grooms. The regulations said nothing about the two grooms not seeing each other. Loop-hole finding little shit. 

She wondered if Barry was also mildly freaking out like she was. Knowing him, he was. He was probably running his hands through his hair right now, going over his vows and making sure they were absolutely perfect and not too corny. Pft, as if. If Barry wanted to be corny then this was the perfect day to be as corny as he could ever want. Also, if he wished to be corny for their whole marriage then Lup was 100% okay with that. She’ll be corny right back and everything will be perfect. It’s what they deserved.

She inhaled through her mouth, trying to relax under the water, but really she just kept thinking about the whole thing. She just couldn’t wait. She knew that marriage was just a piece of paper really and they would be together regardless, but there was something nice about being able to call him her husband and it being legit? Oh, that just felt really right and good. 

She exhaled, moaning a little bit as the water finally loosened the knots in her shoulders. This was going to be a good day. Sure, she felt a little sick to her stomach from the nerves, but she knew that it was still going to be a great day. She would finally be married to Barry J Bluejeans. What more could she ever want?

She washed up quickly, spending a few extra minutes in the warmth of the water before shutting it off. Taako was going to start banging on the door any moment claiming that they’ll be late and that the wedding won’t wait for anyone, especially the bride, so hurry  _ up _ already. Gods, he could be such a pest sometimes. And  _ yes,  _ the wedding would wait for the bride. They all waited for Taako and Kravitz on their wedding day and they were over _ two hours late _ . Most of it was because Kravitz had an unexpected call from his mystery job and that put them back some. It didn’t help that Taako had to have a melodramatic reaction to it but throwing himself across the chaise lounge, lamenting over his future husband’s disgraceful boss and how rude and unjust this mystery boss was. They were married in a spectacular way with Taako announcing that they should all be thanking him for even being invited to his beautiful wedding, and no he wouldn’t be going around greeting everyone, he just wanted to spend time with his new husband and enjoy his day, thank you very much. 

That didn’t stop anyone from trying to talk to him which resulted with Taako pulling Lup aside and asking for some time with his boy. She promptly sent them away to a remote location and guarded the door. She wasn’t drunk, only a little bit tipsy, thank you. Magnus had wandered over to her and took up guarding with her and the two of them started to dance with one another to look inconspicuous. Apparently Julia had recorded the whole thing and sent it to everyone’s stones for them to wake up to in the morning when they were all very hungover. There were more videos. Plenty more videos. Barry had a full conversation with a decoration, having misplaced his glasses and had mistaken the drapery for her, the color of it being nearly identical to it. Barry hadn’t been able to let it down for years. Then, when he finally thought it was over, it was brought up again anytime Taako and Kravitz reminisced over their wedding. Her poor, poor, boy. 

She turned the water off, finally and grabbed the fluffy towel to wrap around herself. She still needed to brush her teeth and wash her face. Why was prepping for a wedding so much work? She did this each morning, but for some reason, having it actually be meant for something just made it all the more of a chore.

They could’ve just gotten married in a courthouse and had a huge party afterward to celebrate that. But, even though it was definitely an option for them, and something that would’ve been less of a hassle, it just felt a bit impersonal for them. There was something about being overly stressed about something that when it was all said and done it made it all the better. Everyone phrases weddings as the happiest day of a person's life, but really it’s the most stressful year of a person’s life of trying to figure what the guests would like, and once it was in your head that it wasn’t about what the guests liked but what  _ you  _ liked, it was made all the better. Fuck the guests. Who cares if they don’t like it and complain about the food. If they felt that they needed to do that, then they could leave. It shouldn’t be about what they liked, but what both of the people getting married to each other liked. Once Taako and Julia explained that to her and calmed her down from the stress of wedding planning, it became a little easier. 

She still worried that she wasn’t showcasing what Barry liked as well, but he assured her that after years of being with one another, that their likes and dislikes sort of melded into one another to the point where he couldn’t remember not liking something that she also liked. Sure, they each had their preferences still and Barry has yet to develop a tolerance to spicy food, but for the most part, their wants for the wedding were relatively the same. 

Taako banged on the bathroom door to tell her to hurry up. It’s probably been around 45 minutes and he was getting antsy to get started on getting her and himself ready. He also probably had to check in on Barry soon to make sure that he was also getting ready. He probably had a clock ticking in his head telling him when he needed to move. Kravitz and Lucretia will come in when he left and Lucretia would get started on her hair and Kravitz would start to prepare her dress and accessories. Giving the dress a final steam before getting ready himself. 

Julia would probably be in there later, having spent most of her time this week making sure that the ring Lup had wanted made was finished. Both she and Barry wanted it to be a surprise on how their wedding bands would look, and both Magnus and Julia shot up at the opportunity to make their rings for them. The only thing that she and Barry knew about their rings to one another was the metal, since they both agreed that they would have matching metals. 

Lup had wanted her ring to him to be kind of corny, kind of nerdy, and overall would make someone who actually knew the notes to sort of groan due to the absolute cheesiness of it all. But, for those who didn’t know...well, it’s perfect. Plus, it was nerdy, so it was perfect for them. Taako had yelled when he overheard her idea for Barry’s ring, telling her it was way too sappy and gross. She didn’t care because as far as she was aware it was perfect. Right down to the little inscription she had asked Julia to inscribe inside the ring. 

She was excited about what Barry had in mind for her ring. He had already gone out on her engagement ring, a pretty yellow gold band with a sun stone. It was absolutely perfect and she really doesn’t know how he can even dream of topping it like he said he would. She had tried to get some details out of Magnus, but he was tight-lipped about it. Usually, she was able to get him to spill  _ some _ things, but this time, he just wouldn’t budge on it. She had given up rather quickly, telling herself that she would be patient and wait until the ceremony. 

Kravitz would take her ring for Barry and put it in an ornate box–an heirloom from her Auntie that Taako had also used for his wedding. It was dramatic and perfect for them. It was a little tricky since the rings were going to be at the very bottom of the box while Kravitz’s flowers were also going to be in the box at the top. Both she and Barry had joked about what if Kravtiz accidentally threw the rings out of the box accidentally. Each time, they had started to laugh nervously and beg Kravitz to please try not to do that. Kravitz would tut his tongue and shake his head, obviously offended by the even idea that  _ he _ would and could do that. Taako would start yelling saying how they had no trust for his boy. 

She stepped out of the bathroom and back to the main room, seeing Taako lounging on the chair again, scrolling through on his stone. He leaned back in his chair as he saw that she was there, fresh faced and newly cleaned. He flipped over in the chair, landing on his knees in a painful manner, but for once didn’t make a big fuss of it. 

“I’m checking in on your man. You, sit down and relax. Kravitz is gonna be here in a moment to help set things up.” He announced, Lup could tell he was trying to not wince in pain at his new injury and she couldn’t help but shake her head. 

“Did you have to flip over the chair like that?”

“Look, I have a brand to keep up with, sister dear. It may have been stupid, but in my head it looked a lot smoother.” He massaged his knees a bit as he stood up. He patted her on her shoulder as he walked past her to the door. “Don’t do anything that would warrant you to get stressed, kay?”

Lup nodded. Easier said than done. Even though she was looking forward to this, she still couldn’t help the knots in her stomach tightening. Taako appraised her, a frown on his face. 

“I mean it, Lulu. Can’t get knocked up if you’re all stressed.”

Lup picked up the notepad that came with the room and threw it at him. It didn’t get far, but Taako still sped out of the room, cackling as he did so. The door shut roughly behind him and Lup collapsed in the chair. Gods, he was annoying. She guessed it made sense, though. Taako was excited enough for a mini version of Lup and Barry, when she had told him her plans he kept talking about what he was going to teach the little rascal. Talking about how the kid was going to know second level spells by the time they were five. Lup had immediately put an end to that, her child was not going to start learning magic until they were mature enough to handle it. They had to be at least ten. She and Taako were special cases, and Barry had joined in with them because he wanted to be a part of it with them. He really was perfect. 

She also didn’t really want to get pregnant right away, though. She wanted to enjoy her time being officially and legally married to the love of her life. Obviously, she and Barry would discuss it more, especially for when he’d get his implant for a longer life. Most of their family had already gotten it, and Barry had been holding off on it until they were sure they could afford it. Student loans really were a bitch, especially since they just kept going back to school. She and Barry had just finished their PhD’s a few years prior, and they were still trying to pay that off. They were close, but not close enough. Surely some of the money she was mooching from her rich relatives would help just a bit.

A kind knock sounded at the door and then a key card went through. The door clicked open and Lucretia poked her head in. 

“Hey, Kravitz and Julia are here. Can we come in?” Lucretia had her hair piled high and still in her silk scarf she wore each night. It really was gonna be a party.

“Yeah, yeah, come in. Taako just left to check in on Barry.”

“We ran into him in the hall. He kept saying that he was gonna kill Barry if he wasn’t up and moving around. He also said he would kill both of you if you two somehow developed cold feet and dipped to get eloped.” Lucretia walked into the room, opening the door wide enough to let Kravitz and Julia in. Kravitz’s hair was also in a similar silk scarf as Lucretia’s, while Julia’s hair was pulled up in a large curly messy bun. All three of them looked as though they had gotten plenty of sleep.

“Huh, that’s tempting.” She tapped her foot against the ground a bit, thinking about it a bit too seriously. If she and Barry hadn’t put so much money into the wedding already, then she would be calling him up right now to see if he was willing. No doubt Barry would agree quickly. Taako would murder both of them, though, and she feared that Kravitz had some sort of connection in the death industry that would make it impossible for anyone to find their bodies. 

“Lup, honey, you’ll be fine. No need to stress about it.” Julia assured, moving next to her and kissing her on her head. “Here, I finished the ring just last night, or earlier this morning? I can’t really remember. I just know that the kids were callin saying that they missed us.”

Julia placed a ring box in Lup’s hands, pressing it firmly there, her brown eyes twinkling. Lup was a little disappointed that the kids weren’t there, but their middle child had gotten super sick which spread to the rest of his siblings quickly. If it hadn’t been for Julia’s father saying that he’d watch them, then Julia and Magnus would’ve stayed home, which Lup totally understood. 

Julia and Magnus had been fostering kids two years into their marriage. They had always wanted kids, but Julia never had any interest in being pregnant, and they had both agreed that there were plenty of kids in the system needing the love and affection that they could give. They at first just started fostering, making sure the kids were ready for their home. Then, when they were married for around five years, they both agreed it was time to start adopting. After that, they just never stopped and had just adopted a seven year old just a few years prior. Seeing them with their kids...well, it made Lup excited about her future with Barry.

Lup opened the box, revealing the thick yellow gold band with the blue sapphires on the edge of it. The detail she had asked Julia to do, down to the inscription on the inside...it was absolutely perfect. She couldn’t help but start to tear up.    
  


“Julia…” she began to whimper, caressing the ring softly. “It’s absolutely perfect, thank you.” 

Julia cooed softly, wrapping Lup in her strong arms. 

“I’m glad you like it, hon.”

“Like it? I love it, it’s perfect. Thank you so much!” The tears started to pour down and she heard a throat clear. 

“My dear husband won’t be happy to see your face all puffy, Lup,” Kravitz tutted. She pulled away from Julia and rolled her eyes at him. 

“It’s my wedding day, I can be as puffy as I want.” Kravitz chuckled a little bit as he started to sort all of her stuff for the wedding. Lup put the box with the ring inside it on the table gently. She started to pat down her eyes because even though she could be as puffy as she wanted to be, she really didn’t want to see it in the pictures.

“I’m gonna get started on your hair, all right?” Lucretia came to her side, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Taako said to put a face mask on her while I do this. Julia, can you do that?”

“On it!”

And just like that, they all started to work on her. Lup felt her stomach become increasingly knotted. She couldn’t help but tap on her leg a little bit. Gods, she couldn’t wait to see Barry. 

oXo

Another cup of coffee was shoved into Barry’s hand, and honestly, thank the gods to whoever is keeping him supplied. He hadn’t slept a wink last night, and he had barely talked to Lup. He didn’t think she would stand him up at the altar. Why would she? The TV just dramatized that to give brides and grooms even more anxiety. No, Lup wouldn’t do that. She loved him too much and he loved her too much to even think about it. Didn’t stop Merle to keep bringing it up as a what if scenario. 

After he had brought it up again, Taako had kicked Merle out of the suite for ten minutes to learn his lesson. Those ten minutes turned into an hour because he just forgot that he put him out there. The wedding was in T-minus an hour and they were all almost ready to go. They had to be down at the church of Pan in 45 minutes, and the limo was only running behind by ten minutes. Everything was fine. 

Barry had his suit on and his hair combed over so slicked down that he was afraid he’d move it at the end of the night and it’ll just come all out. Taako had just told him that if it got that bad, then he’ll just magic his hair back, simple as that. That sort of thing worried him since he was definitely not as young as he used to be. He had just turned 47, and in the terms of humans that meant things were on their way to being broken down. Lup and Taako were still way before their prime, and not even adults according to elves. Gods, elf ages were weird. 

It was weird that for a time, his aging was going to be stunted. He was going to get an inside look of what it was like to be an elf for a time, now if only he had done it while he was in his late 20’s...that would’ve given his knees some help even though he was already complaining about his knees even back then. 

When he told that to Lup, she shook her head very quickly, stating that she was glad that she got to see him age like this. Said that his salt pepper hair was doing things for her, and had even given his belly a squeeze as she kissed him. He had never been the smallest guy around, he was average when he was younger, but after years of eating the twins rich cooking and with his metabolism slowing down as he aged, well, it had all caught up with him. Lup told him that he looked hot as hell and he had felt a little relieved that she still found him attractive. He was so lucky. 

Still, it had caught up with him that maybe he should’ve gotten the implant when he was just a tad bit younger. Before his knees were really fucked up and he had the slightest bit of trouble getting up. Especially since he could very much be running around with much more energetic Lup clones in the future. Lup assured him that he would be perfect though.

Thinking about that made him think about how  _ off _ Lup had been over the past few months. Sure, it could’ve been due to the wedding nerves and stress, but there was just something there that made her behavior just ring a little strange. He had known her since she was around five, he would hope that he knew Lup’s behaviors just a little bit at this point. He could’ve written it off as her preparing for things, but it just seemed a little odd to be planning this far in advance. He had noticed her precaution when it came to using protection. Had accidentally seen her birth control in her drawer just two weeks ago. He had noticed her stocking up on pads and tampons and pain-killers–and something was just  _ off.  _

Which brought him to the conclusion that Lup had carried on with the procedure as a way of a surprise to him. She had to have done it some time ago because it took awhile for the body to adjust to the new changes. She was trying to surprise him and honestly? Barry felt excited for it. He knew when he went to that conference that something had happened. Ma kept getting this look in her eye anytime she saw him with Lup after that. Had started getting random things in the mail that he at the time thought was for the wedding and maybe for a friend’s new grandchild. Taako had started acting weird, too. Took less hours at the restaurant and was constantly asking Lup how she felt. Lup would get agitated a little more quickly than usual, would cry at whenever the cat rolled over, and he had noticed he was giving her more back massages. Not that he was complaining about that. 

He was so surprised that he didn’t put the pieces together sooner. He thought he was done with being dense when it came to Lup. They had been together for years, and the last time he was so bad about this was when it took them around 16 years to get together. He thought that surely he would never again pull something like that. And technically, he didn’t. He had pieced together what had been going on in the house and figured it out for himself. They also weren’t doing too well at hiding it because one of the kitchen cabinets just turned into a chocolate stash. He had opened it up one day because that was where the cups normally were, only to be greeted various amounts of chocolate instead of his  _ #1 Sexiest Professor _ Lup had gotten him as a celebrational gift after he got the job at the college. He brought it in sometimes if he was running late and couldn’t find his tumblrs. Some of his students raised their eyebrows at it and he had to very clumsily explain that his girlfriend had gotten it for him. They never believed that he–a pretty average looking man could probably pass for a Target employee–would have a girlfriend to give him  _ that. _

Still, he had it, and after years of having it, he had grown used to the weird looks as he took a long sip of it each morning, staring down his students before every class. Sometimes Lup would come in on a free period and start laughing at his antics. None of the students knew how he and Lup knew each other, and they aimed to have it remain that way. They wanted their students to question who they talked about and wonder what type of person they had to be to get into scenarios that normally involved law enforcement. It was one lab accident, to be fair. A lab accident that really was sent through a mass email saying that Barry and Lup weren’t allowed to be in the lab room alone together for the rest of the semester. It was annoying because it was for their thesis, and having someone be there listening in on their work...well that made things awkward for them. Barry kind of felt sorry for the guy who supervised them. Kind of didn’t.

He had accidentally let it slip that he was getting married this summer and that spread around his class like wildfire. The next thing he knew, he was being bombarded with questions on when they had even decided to get married and why they decided to get married. There were also questions on who his future wife was and if they would ever meet her. Lup, who was sitting in that day nearly blew their cover and had to suppress her laughter. The other students in the class didn’t know why Lup was there in the first place, just that she was the Evocation Professor who also dealt with Magical Items and for some of the students in Barry’s class, they really needed to schedule a meeting with her. 

Some kids had tried to figure out who he was dating by what he had in his office. Jokes on them, though, he hid all of his pictures of Lup in his desk before all his meetings. It was a long-con, and they both were enjoying it. Lup shared the office with him. No one knew why. She had plenty of pictures out on her desk. Some with her brother, some from when they were growing up. There were plenty of her and Barry that she had on her desk that she also put away whenever one of them had a meeting scheduled. It was just a fun game for them to see who would piece it all together.

“Hey, dude, it’s all done!” Magnus came up from behind him, putting a little ziplock bag on the table. Inside was Lup’s ring. He wanted to go based on the engagement ring he got her, so it would match a little better. Still, he wanted to add something to it. It was a thinner band, but it had all the details he wished on it, which was a miracle in itself. He knew that Magnus said he didn’t harbor any magic, but by this point, Barry was sure that he was lying. Red gems to match her ring were on the outside of the ring, and right in the middle was their song. The very song that united them all those years ago. He smiled at the ring, imagining it on her finger and sighing dreamily. It was absolutely perfect. 

“Magnus, I–” he choked up as he looked at the ring again, feeling the tears start pooling. Magnus pounded his back a bit, drawing him out of the state.

“No sweat, buddy. Really, I’m just really glad that I was able to help, ya know? I think Kravitz is coming over in a minute to pick it up.” Magnus beamed at him, his eyes getting a little watery as he tried to cover it up. Gods, Barry really was so lucky to have his friends all here.

The door opened suddenly and Polly stepped in. Her curly gray hair was tied in a high bun and she wore a suit that matched the other groomsmen. She insisted on keeping it a suit, she really didn’t want to be the one person out. Polly had really been there for him over the years. Even after their break-up, she still hung around, to which Barry was thankful for. It only seemed right that she got a spot in his wedding party. She had gotten married herself years ago and he was in her wedding party. 

“I think it’s go time, everyone.” She grinned at Barry as he felt everything come crashing down. Go time. It was really happening. He couldn’t help feel a little antsy. He was more than excited for this day to actually happen and that he would be with his best friend for as long as fate allowed him. He would be Lup’s husband, and she would be his wife. And honestly? This was just the icing on the cake. Never did he think back in his youth that he would be getting married to the most effervescent person he had the pleasure of befriending and fallen in love with.

“I thought the limo was running behind?” Magnus came out of the bathroom with shave cream on the right side of his face. He had rushed in there after giving Barry the ring and it seemed someone had made him wear a robe to not ruin his suit underneath. His brown eyes were wide in shock as he held his razor in his left hand comically. 

“I mean it’s three minutes away–”

“Oh sweet!” Magnus hurried back into the bathroom to finish his shave as Taako came in behind Polly. He wore a suit this time around, saying that he wouldn’t dare upstage his sister on her special day even though it took way too long. Now, the reception? That was a different story, he had full reign of that, and he made sure to tell him and Lup exactly that when they were talking about details. 

His hair was down elaborately, with neat braids wrapped around a stylishly messy bun. Lup had probably done it while getting her own hair done. It was probably to keep her hands busy so she didn’t have to think about how nervous she was. She had also added in some red anemones and asters throughout the braids. Probably some leftover from her own hair decorations. The red really stuck out against his golden hair and bronze skin. 

His eye makeup was also done to satisfy the theme of the wedding. Normally, Taako wouldn’t go for the red tones, claiming they were Lup’s color of choice and he’ll be sticking to his own palette, thank you very much. However, today was different. He had swapped out his violets and blues and went for something that suited the color palette. His tie was purple though, since the groomsmen and bridesmaids were allowed to pick the color they wished as long as they got it in the same style. Something to make it look like they were somewhat cohesive as Barry nor Lup really didn’t mind which color their friends chose. They just wanted to make it fun for them, too. The bridesmaids would just have red flowers in their hair and the groomsmen would have blue on their lapels. Something to keep them all together.

Taako scrutinized him for a moment and Barry feared that he had missed a patch of hair while shaving. Gods, that would be just his luck, even though Lup had told him he was sexy with a scruffy face, he doubted she would just want to have her face all scratched up from just one spot throughout the night. Maybe he should’ve went over his face a fourth time to be absolutely sure that he got everything. 

He worried over his face that he didn’t even realize Taako coming over to him, plucking out one red flower from his hair. He went to his lapel and Barry began to worry that he had gotten a spot on his suit even though he had thought he was being extra careful with his morning coffee. Gods, how did that even happen? He was so busy worrying that he somehow messed up this whole day before he even  _ got  _ to the temple that he didn’t notice Taako pinning his flower back into place.

“Stop worrying, Barold, it isn’t anything bad.” Taako rolled his eyes as he made sure his flowers were straight. “You know, they say the bride has to have something blue for good luck or whatever shit, but I think you needed something red, my dude.” 

Barry turned to the mirror and saw that Taako had pulled an aster from his hair and added it to his lapel. Together, the forget-me-nots and the aster snuggled closely, wrapping themselves around one another pleasantly like they had been meant to do that in the first place. He touched the flowers lightly, smiling contently at them as he turned back to Taako, his eyes already misting over. He opened his mouth to speak and Taako held up his hand. 

“Yeah, let’s not have a crying fest right now. Lup already broke down while getting her makeup done, I really don’t want a repeat of that.” Even though he said that, Taako still took his hands and squeezed them a bit, a wistful smile on his face. No doubt he had also cried a bit with Lup. Probably something he had given her for the tradition. He had remembered Lup gathering all of the items for Taako on his wedding day. Had braided his hair with a blue ribbon and lilac ribbon, let him borrow a strange pair of silver earrings that she had. She had put him in a locket that their Auntie had, a picture of her inside along with a recipe that she had written. Something new came from Ma, giving him a pretty white gold bracelet with amethysts circling around it. Barry hadn’t really seen Taako cry all that much, him claiming that he was emotionally dead, but that day, Taako cried so much. Nearly every picture of him had him crying from joy. Just when he had thought he had caught a break from crying, Lup really had to pull a fast one with her Maid of Honor speech, which had awarded her with the greatest hug Barry had ever seen, followed shortly but a quick noogie and punch in the arm because  _ emotions _ .

From how he’d been acting, Taako couldn’t wait to get back at her. 

“Thank fuck you two are finally tying the knot. Do you know how much money I have given to Lucretia? Too fucking much, my dude.” 

Taako’s and Lucretia’s relationship was still tense, even after all these years. Taako held the grudge, and Lucretia really didn’t want to push any boundaries Taako had obviously been setting up. When Barry had asked her about it, she had clearly stated that she would wait until he was ready to talk. If he never talked...well, Lucretia said that she was prepared for that mentally and emotionally. However, when it came to a good bet, Taako tended to set aside differences for that moment, it also helped that apparently a lot more people were involved in the bet as well. Magnus had been out for a while, having bet that Barry and Lup would get married a year after dating, which  _ no. _ They wanted to figure each other out as a couple, and they were still discovering things about each other then. Merle had been next to get out, having said that they would be married with Taako and Kravitz.

As much as they joked about having a double wedding, the four of them had made it clear that they didn’t want that. Taako and Lup explained that they did almost everything with one another, and that it would be nice to have one anniversary that was separate from the other. Also, Lup really wanted to be Taako’s Maid of Honor and have a speech. 

Davenport–who Barry had never thought was a gambler–gave them a fair amount of time, stating they would get married once they were both stable in their careers like responsible adults. He had almost been right, but that was before the student loans reminded them that they really can’t afford all that just yet. 

So, apparently it was just Lucretia and Taako now. Taako kept adding himself back in the bet after his original stated time expired. Lucretia apparently was holding out strong, stating that they would take longer to get married than together which….yeah, that checks out. Taako kept giving them actual time limits which was probably his first mistake. 

“So, final victory. Who won?”

“Oh, Lucretia, definitely. Even when I told her to specify a date she got it right. Pretty sure Lup told her to help her out or something, which, not cool. Might as well stab me 23 times and call me fucking Fantasy Caesar, right?” Taako let his hand hover over his forehead dramatically. Barry just rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah, pretty sure Lup didn’t do that. We didn’t even have a set date until what? Seven months ago? And I’m pretty sure you made that bet as soon as we announced we were going to get married.”

“Yeah, ya caught me, cha boy really thought you were going to get married on the day you did the song.”

Okay, fair, checks out. He and Lup discussed that date being a possibility, but after seeing the price for that day, they quickly moved onto the next date that was still good for them and their work schedule. Besides, they can’t make another date for them to celebrate, and spending extra time with Lup? That was music to his ears. 

“I gotta ask though, Barold.” Taako grinned, a light coming into his eyes that had Barry smiling back. “Are you finally ready to marry my goofus of a sister?”

Barry couldn’t contain his excitement. He felt like dancing as an even broader smile replaced his old one. 

“Oh fuck yeah.”

oXo

Taako didn’t really know what got him. Maybe it was knowing that his idiot sister and his idiot friend were finally,  _ finally _ getting married. Maybe it was seeing Lup walk down the aisle with both Mama Bluejeans and Davenport on her arm and smiling so brightly that it hurt. Maybe it was seeing Barry start crying as soon as Lup mouthed the aisle, had to see him restrain himself from just running towards her right then and there. Maybe it was the silent conversation they were definitely having with one another. He could see it clear as day that they were talking to one another, probably going over how happy and amazing the other one looked. 

Maybe it was the vows that got to him, with Barry going over how they met one another and how he’s been in love with her for so long and that love would only continue to grow each day and how he couldn’t wait to be hers and hers alone. 

Maybe it was Lup’s vows going over everything she loved about Barry, and how yeah, they were definitely doing this for tax benefits, but goddamn the story books were true about how they played up weddings. Going over how she was getting married to her best friend and that he had already made her the happiest woman alive and that she couldn’t wait to make him the happiest man alive everyday.

Maybe it was when they pulled out the rings and they both got choked up that they had a similar idea in mind. After 25 or so years with one another, you tend to share one brain cell after a while. 

Maybe it was how Barry couldn’t wait anymore and he kissed Lup before Merle could even get the words out. Maybe it was how Lup responded just as enthusiastically, practically jumping in Barry’s arms and wrapping her arms around his neck so that he could be closer. Maybe it was how when they pulled apart, Lup had mouthed that she loved him and Barry’s eyes twinkled with unshed tears as he mouthed the words back. Lup had kissed him again, and Taako could tell that they were both smiling. 

Maybe it was how at the reception, Lup and Barry had played their song together instead of dancing. Lup had explained to him that she’d rather opt out of dancing, claiming it was way too awkward to just have everyone stand around them as they swayed back and forth. Besides, by the end of it, it looked like they were dancing, Lup had found her way right next to Barry’s bench, her hair falling stylishly out of her braided bun. A silver locket twinkled on her neck, and maybe that had done it. Auntie’s necklace proudly on display, scant of any other jewelry on her neck. 

He had given her the same treatment that she did on his wedding day. Adding blue flowers in her hair amongst the red, lending her his ruby dropped earrings and even sneaking the sixpence in her heels without her knowing. Mama had come in and handed her something else that was old and new. It was the ring that Mama had worn on her wedding day, and her mother before her and so on. It was charmed with magic to make sure that it fit whoever the wearer was. She had held Lup’s face in her hands and smiled at her warmly. 

_ “And now, it’s yours. Maybe one day, if you have a daughter, then you’ll carry on the tradition.” _ Lup had fallen into a crying mess over that, as if she wasn’t already crying before when Taako had gifted her Auntie’s locket with a new recipe that she had taught Lup when she was younger, and a picture of Auntie teaching Lup to braid. She had hugged Mama gratefully, holding her close and sobbing into her shoulder. 

Mama also gifted her a phoenix pin, pinning it to her red sash on her dress. And since Mama was always so wonderful and kind, she had even gotten Taako a little something, telling him she couldn’t resist. A silver pocket watch with a raven engraved. Mama had explained that it reminded her of him and Kravitz, winking at him. Sometimes, Mama was a cryptic woman.

He had fastened the watch to his own sash, putting a reminder to himself to show Krav, who looked just darling in his flower girl outfit, and how stressed he looked while making sure to not accidentally throw the rings to the crowd as he dropped red and blue flowers. 

Maybe it was when Barry had his mother and son dance and Mama had the look of utmost pride in her face. He couldn’t hear what she was saying, but he knew it was getting to Barry with how choked up he was getting, and how he hugged his Mama so tightly after the dance. He had whispered something to Lup right before she was whisked away by Merle and Davenport, and she had to cover her mouth. Whatever it was, it was good news. 

It was probably the dance between Davenport and Merle that got him. They were just in a circle with one another, with Merle actually trying to imitate dancing, it was poorly done, and it got a reaction from the audience. They all just went about in a circle mostly, Davenport having to take his hand out from Merle’s to sign to Lup. His signs were a little too rapid, and Taako’s eyes were a little too misted over by tears to actually make them out. Merle started to laugh at what he was saying and add in some little quips which had Lup rolling her eyes and laughing. They were just so happy.

It was a good idea that Lup and Barry had scheduled toasts basically before anyone got too blasted, and Taako had the absolute honor of having to have two speeches for them both, which he promptly turned into one. 

He clicked his champagne glass and looked around the audience theatrically, grinning ear to ear about everything. Everyone quieted down and he saw Lup and Barry rip their gazes from one another to look at him. 

“Well, isn’t this peachy? Finally all of your attention! Anyway, I’m sure y’all already know who the fuck I am. If not, well, that both sucks and is great for you. I’m Taako, ya know, from TV, but I’m also Lup’s more attractive twin brother. It’s fine if you don’t see the resemblance, that just means you need your glass prescription renewed. On that note, Barry I hope that you got that done, I saw the notice in the mail a few days ago and I really hope you’re not missing the full look of your wife.

“On that note, I’m also Barold’s best friend aside from Lup, and these two idiots really couldn’t decide whether or not I would be Lup’s Matron of Honor, which matron makes me sound fucking ancient, by the way, or Barry’s best man. So I said, fuck it, I’ll be both and that’s how we ended up here. Now, my dear sister and my dear brother-in-law have always had trouble deciding on things and putting it off for so long. They’ve been dating 25 years now, and they’re just now tying the knot. Jeezy creezy, you two really don’t make life easy. I’m sure you all are aware at how long they took to  _ get _ together.”

He heard the wedding party table erupt in cheers at that. A lot of the people in the room followed in suit and Barry was hiding his head as Lup looked like she wanted to have a throw down.

“Sorry, sister dear, you granted me this and I’m gonna speak my fucking mind.” Lup gave him the middle finger and he blew her a kiss. “Now, our story starts in little kindergarten when Lup and I looked way too alike. Barry, how to explain Barry at this time? Yeah, he was a nerd. Thick glasses and all. I had planned to make fun of this kid with Lup, and planned to not make any friends to spite everyone in that class, but Lup...well, Lup has always been better than me at feelings and friendships than me. So, she decided to befriend him, and ended up changing his name in the process. My man, you really should’ve expected that you two were destined for one another when you did that super immediately.”

Barry just shrugged, giving Lup a kiss on her temple as she squeezed his hand and looked at him lovingly. 

“Lup finally admitted her feelings for Barold to me in what? Eighth grade? And Barry, basically the year after that. So, I had to hold around two secrets that these two loved each other for fuck knows how long as they danced around each other like a couple of elementary school kids. So, thanks for that, Lulu and Barold, really throwing me a bone with that one. 

“Even so...when they finally got together and I had the pleasure and displeasure in some cases of seeing them love each other, it was like they were making music. Anyone can see how much these two love each other and care for one another, except if you’re one of their students, those fucks are dense as hell. All the same, if soulmates really did exist, then Lu, Barry, I’m pretty positive you two are. Seeing your relationship grow over the years, the good, the bad, and all that shit in between, it has me really thinking that you reinvented love. Krav and I obviously invented it, but you two, you two really polished it and made it shine.”

Taako tilted his head back a little bit to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks. Lup looked like she was on the verge of that as well. 

“I just...I love you two so fucking much? And I’m just so fucking thankful that I can call Barry my brother-in-law, because there really isn’t anyone else I’d rather have as my married in brother than you. And, Lup. Lup, thank you for having me as your brother. I know I’m the one who called the shots with splitting, but nothing has been more fulfilling than having you as my sister. You really are my heart, Lu, and Barold, if you do anything to break my heart’s heart then they won’t find your body.” Barry let out a choked laugh as tears rolled down his face and Lup had given up trying to hold them back. “But, I highly doubt you’d do anything stupid like that.” 

Lup stood up at that and went to him with tears rolling down her cheeks. Thank gods they went with water proof makeup. He opened his arms wide for her and she collided into them, sniffling hard. 

“Is this fucking payback for my speech?” She blubbered. Taako pressed a kiss to her head and nodded. 

“Yeah, yours was more emotionally driven, though.”

“Best not to compete, brother dear. Your speech was perfect.” She pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “I love you, Ko.”

“I love you, too, Lu.” He felt more arms around him and realized it was Barry holding onto him, his tears dripping onto his head. And if Taako really thought about it, then yeah, this is what really got him. Having two out of the nine people that were the most important to him holding him close.

oXo

After wedding festivities left them both drained, but both very excited. Lup had tossed her bouquet and it practically landed in Lucretia’s lap. To which, Lucretia gave it away to one of the other single people. She hadn’t even stood up to join in, stating that she was perfectly content with how her life was and where it was at the moment. 

Both she and Barry had collapsed on the bed together ready to go to bed. Lup was still in her dress and Barry in his suit, and as much as she would love to just fall asleep, she’d rather not fall asleep in her wedding clothes. 

She wrapped herself next to Barry, putting an arm over her stomach and sighing against him. Without trancing or sleeping the night before, it had really left her on adrenaline only and now she was really crashing with the love of her life beside her. Barry took the hand she had laid on his stomach and pressed a kiss on her knuckles, she couldn’t help the grin that formed there. 

“So, would you prefer staying just Lup or Lup Hallwinter?” He asked nervously and Lup couldn’t help but to smile at him as she sat up, stretching a bit to try and get the dress off. 

“I mean, Lup Bluejeans has a better ring to it, but I guess we’re trying to use legal names.”

“Gods, seeing Merle almost lose it because he didn’t know what my actual name was...oh man.”

“Sildar Hallwinter...yeah, babe, you’re just not a Sildar to me.”

“I don’t feel like a ‘Sildar’ anymore, I’m just Barry!” He saw her struggling and sat up, helping her unlace the bodice with deft fingers. He’s done this all too many times before. 

“You’re not just Barry. You’re  _ my _ Barry.” She turned her head and puckered her lips just so that had Barry bending his head to meet hers. She smiled against his lips before breaking it off and pecking his nose. “How about this, Lup Hallwinter, legal name goes on all my documents and shit. Lup Bluejeans is just what people call me.”

“That’s gonna get confusing for our kids, but yeah, works for me.” He pressed a kiss to her shoulder and a soft smile appeared on her face. Gods she was so in love with him. 

“About that, Barry…” she started, turning back around to face him and taking his hands into hers. “I sort of already got that all straightened out. Me and Taako worked on it all last year and now...well...we could have a baby whenever, I guess!” It was a clumsy way of telling him, she knew that. She had a plan that it was going to be less clunky and more sweet and thought out. The worlds, however, just sort of spilled out. All the same, Barry’s face cracked into a broad smile, his crows feet even more prominent as he took her hands and gave them kisses again. Something about his reaction, although it was sweet, it wasn’t as she expected, which could only mean one thing. 

“But you actually knew that, didn’t you?” She smirked at him as he dipped his head sheepishly.

“That obvious?” Lup hummed in response as his neck and ears got red. “I mean...I noticed how you were stock-piling everything and the chocolate and how we suddenly had more heating pads than normal and...I really ruined the surprise? Lup, love, I–”

“Nope, nope, nope, first day of being husband and wife and I’m not about to have my husband apologize to me. Babe, it’s fine.” She kissed him gently on his lips, as a way to tell him that it was really fine. “But how about it?”

Barry’s head shot up, his eyes glistening with new found tears as his smile reappeared.

“It’s great, Lup. Honestly, this has been the best day of my life and it just keeps getting better. Being married to you, planning this future? I couldn’t be happier.” He smiled. “I think I would want to hold off though, just so we can get used to being married, ya know?”

“Oh yeah, babe, definitely. I want to enjoy this time in our marriage for a bit longer.” She smirked. “And as Taako said, we’re the best at the waiting game.”

Barry laughed at that, letting Lup turn around so he could get the rest of the dress off. 

“But, would you be mad if I told you I just want to sleep?” Lup asked, playing with her finger nervously, she couldn’t help it. She knew what the end of wedding festivities were supposed to bring. She couldn’t help but feel like she would be disappointing Barry just a little bit. 

“Oh thank gods, Lup yes please. I just want to sleep.” Barry sounded so relieved and the tension in her shoulders relaxed just a bit at this. 

“Okay, great. Besides, who knows what morning can bring.” She squeezed Barry’s thigh and smirked at him a little. He finished unlacing the bodice before taking her hand and squeezing it tightly. 

Once the dress was off and hung up properly along with the suit, the two of them both ran through their night routine, ready to get to bed. They had nowhere pressing to be, and who would honestly want to try to wake up the newlyweds? No one that she knew. She tried to make sure the makeup was scrubbed clean, but that could be another problem for morning her. Right now, though, she was snuggled up close to the love of her life, and couldn’t think of anything better than this. 

Barry gave her a good night kiss and she couldn’t help but be giddy. They were married, they were legally husband and wife...and that was just the best news to her. How could it possibly get better?

“I love you, Mr Bluejeans.” She snuggled even closer to him burrowing her head in his neck. He held onto her tightly, pressing on more kiss to her head.

“I love you, too, Mrs Bluejeans.”

And yeah, it could get better and she was sure it would just keep getting better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my fucking god finally
> 
> but also surprise!
> 
> I hope all of you are doing well and are staying healthy during this time!!! Please take care of yourselves <3
> 
> but I started working on this after I finished the last chapter and uhhhhhhhh nearly 3 months later it's finished???????? remember when I updated every week.....yeah me too. 
> 
> But this sort of kicks off the one-shots in a way? I have two that I'm working on right now, and can't wait to introduce you all to my blupjeans babies!!!!!!!
> 
> Thank you all so much for all the love on the last chapter, I just wanted to give you all this one last gift to say how much I appreciate every single one of you! <3
> 
> Please stay healthy and safe!!! And as always, thank you so much for reading, for all your super nice comments, and kudos <3
> 
> (also sorry about how choppy this is and any errors! I'll edit soon!)
> 
> Plug-ins  
Instagram and Tumblr: MoonlightxStars  
Twitter: @MoonSympathizer

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thank you for reading this demon child that kept me up all night because it wanted to exist. Thanks to Peachy for the title for this fic, literally spent too many hours pondering and coming up empty. Hooray for Spotify giving me exactly what I needed. Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed, this is my first TAZ fic that I've published and I'm excited to see how it pans out. The second chapter is already written, but I want to write the third one before publishing it so I can actually keep on top of things and hopefully finish this. Thanks everyone again!


End file.
